Chapter 35
Translator: True Detective
Chapter 35. Pink Witch
The snowfield is white.
An extremely obvious proposition.
Snow is white, and the field covered with snow is also white. Therefore, the snowfield is white.
And now, a vivid color was added on top of that white snowfield.
Pink.
Artificial and contrived, so standing out even more.
A highly saturated pink rarely found in the natural world.
It was exactly the sixth finger of the Thorn Society. Witch Eris.
Self-proclaimed cutest beautiful girl in the world.
Others-proclaimed 'Pink Calamity', 'Mad Witch', 'Girl-shaped Trauma'.
On the path she passed, decorations were lined up.
Frost Bear, Snowfield Wolf, Combat Horned Rabbit.
Demonic beasts, dead while pierced by pink thorn vines, were hanging at regular intervals like tree decorations.
"Ah! I feel alive!"
Lululu-
Eris was in a very good mood right now.
Swoosh swoosh.
Twintails swayed matching her steps.
"Underground altar was the worst. Humidity, mold, screams. Plus zero lighting! Enemy of skin care! Eris-nim needs photosynthesis!"
The cold and clear air of the North filled her lungs.
The sky is high, and sunlight reflects on the snowfield shining dazzlingly.
The journey after escaping the Imperial Palace was quite enjoyable.
"Central street's chocolate tart, pass. Mountain village's cheesecake, deduction for small quantity but taste acknowledged. Eisenhardt Margraviate's apple pie… hmm, 70 points? Apples were crisp but cinnamon was lacking."
Retraced folding fingers.
"Ah, and honey bread eaten just before entering the North! Rugged but honest sweetness? Passing score for not sparing sugar. Barbarians know how to make desserts quite well?"
Eris finally arrived at the destination after a pleasant journey.
Far away, a huge castle wall was seen.
Heart of the North. Frostgard.
The image of the North Eris imagined was clear.
Barbarism. Looting. Disorder.
A shambles where people trembling in cold and suffering from hunger throw away morality and exercise violence.
Eris nodded.
"A place like this is exactly the perfect environment for a noble, beautiful, and fatal witch like me to rule."
A simulation started running in her head.
Gear wheels of extremely subjective and opportunistic delusion.
Barbarians discover Eris. They are overwhelmed by the visuals of the super-duper beautiful girl seen for the first time in their lives.
Drooling, they rush like beasts losing reason. Try to violate.
At first, Eris acts innocently and pitifully 'No~ Don't come~'. To give hope and drop from the highest place.
And at the desperate moment, beckon with one finger.
Thorn vines soar and pierce barbarians. Overwhelming martial power difference. Honeycombed barbarians crawl on the floor in fear.
Naturally Eris is acclaimed as Queen of the North. Sitting on an ice chair crossing legs, muscular flower boy warriors peel grapes and put them in mouth.
Finally discover Black Knight who was hiding and absent without leave.
Eris holds thorn whip and abuses him. Slap. Slap. Slap.
Black Knight sheds tears and repents his mistake.
Eris makes Black Knight a doormat. Texture will be quite decent every time stepping on.
Eris wrapped her cheeks with both hands.
'Ah~! Eris is so cute it’s a sin! If such a super-duper beautiful girl like Eris-nim appears in front of rough barbarians? Naturally Eris scramble battle starts!'
Eris nodded satisfied with the delusion.
Bonus: Princess is taken as extra.
Pack prettily and deliver to Thorn Society headquarters. Offer as sacrifice for Evil God resurrection.
Result.
Evil God resurrection success. Eris is number one contributor.
Thorn Society Rank 1 ascension. Salary raise.
3 days work week. Late arrival possible every day. Infinite dessert provision right acquired.
[Delusion End]
"Ehehehe."
Corners of mouth went up to hang on ears.
Flawless plan.
Variables? No such thing.
Because Eris-nim is a super genius beautiful girl.
"Now, then shall I enter slowly? To the ice lump castle that will become my kingdom!"
Eris hummed and took a step.
It was exactly then.
Wooooong-
Minute vibration transmitted.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
Vibration grew bigger gradually.
"What?"
Earthquake? Or avalanche said to be Northern specialty?
Pink twintails curved into question mark shape.
Sound was getting closer.
Rumble rumble rumble rumble─!
Overwhelming noise making eardrums ring.
Eris turned her head to the direction of the sound.
Blizzard in front cleared, and that 'Identity' revealed itself.
"……Ha?"
Eris's mouth opened blankly.
First, there are dogs in front. 8 of them at that.
But those are dogs?
Beasts the size of calves, no, bulls. Fur standing on end, eyes rolling back. Spewing white breath from mouths, four legs kicking the snowfield so fast invisible.
Thing those eight demonic beasts are pulling.
Sled?
No, calling that a sled is an insult to sleds.
Steel frame plated with black iron. Vicious spikes attached to the front. Wing-shaped blades attached to the sides.
It was a murder tank running on the snowfield.
And the existence standing on top of it.
Black armor. Black helmet. Fluttering black cloak.
"Uh……? W, Wait! Stop! Halt! It’s Eris-nim here! Eris-nim, I say! Cutest and most precious Eris-nim in the world is standing, why not reducing speed!?"
Eris's protest was legitimate.
If the cutest existence in the world is standing in the middle of the road, stopping is common sense.
Before traffic regulations, it’s a matter of aesthetics.
Carriages slow down in front of flower fields too. Eris is prettier than flower fields. Therefore natural to stop.
But there are things in the world where common sense doesn't work.
Natural disaster, God's wrath, and Black Knight's dog sled.
Eris reached out her hand.
Tried to summon thorns. Tried to put up a shield. Or tried to dodge at least one step to the side.
But too late.
Kwaaaaaaang!
Compared to Eris's small body weight, the dog sled's mass and acceleration were too powerful.
Bang-!
"Kyaaaaaaack!!!"
Pink twintails soared to the sky.
Vision spun round and round.
Sky. Ground. Snow. Black Knight. Sky. Ground. Snow.
'Queen! Doormat! My promotion plan…!'
Fragments of delusion flashing by like a revolving lantern.
Thud.
Her body stuck into a snow pile.
Upside down from head.
Legs stretched towards sky in 11 shape, upper body buried in snow posture.
Exceedingly ridiculous and humiliating pose like an ostrich burying head feeling threat.
Kwek.
Thorn Society Seven Fingers Rank 6, Pink Calamity Eris.
Retired.
Skirt flipped. Pink stripes.
Screeeech──!
Murder tank, no dog sled stopped making loud noise.
Screeeech──!
Sled stopped suddenly.
Huskies planted feet simultaneously. Snow powder rose like a curtain.
'……Hit a person?'
With a dog sled. A person?
Why does this combination of words feel so unrealistic.
There are carriage accidents. Scenes bumping into horses exist too.
But dog sled traffic accident? No precedent.
Can a traffic accident perpetrator become a RoFan male lead?
Since no precedent, judgment impossible.
I got off the sled.
Didn't blink an eye when slaughtering dozens of monsters, but now heart is pounding thump thump.
Approached the snow pile.
Two legs sticking out.
Slender ankles. White calves.
And pink stripes──
Ahem.
Let's pretend not seen. Since I am a gentleman.
According to Black Knight spirit, unavoidable visual information is stored internally.
Legs still no movement.
'Not dead right?'
Anxiety surged.
Pricked ears.
"Ugh……"
Fortunately breathing sound exists.
Thin but clear breathing.
Alive!
Relief surged.
Now, then let's rescue.
I grabbed the girl's ankles without hesitation and pulled.
Pop.
Cheerful hand taste a farmer might feel when harvesting well-ripe turnip.
Girl buried in snow pile came out to the world.
"……."
I entered inspection work holding her with one hand.
Pink twintails.
Hair color of flashy colors not matching this North's barren environment at all.
Face is covered in snow so not visible well, but quite, no considerably, no tremendously cute.
'Like a doll.'
First impression was so.
Small and exquisite features.
Smooth skin as if molded with wax. Eyelashes stretching long under closed eyelids. Small and cute nose, and cherry-like lips.
With this level of visual, perhaps a character from the original work? But not certain.
Author didn't insert illustrations except for main heroines, whether due to lack of money or lack of motivation.
Specifying face only with text description would be hard even for montage investigator.
Anyway too frail girl.
Hit this with dog sled?
Conscience pricked poke poke.
Put the girl down on snow carefully.
Checked wounds.
None?
Hit head-on by dog sled but no visible trauma.
"Sturdy."
Admiration came out automatically.
With this durability, might be unexpectedly amazing guy.
Wait. Stop. Shouldn't do this.
Admiring 'Sturdy' after hitting a person is a symptom of psychopath Black Knight.
I am Romanticist Black Knight.
Let's reflect.
……
No, what if looking at this from a different angle?
Like seeing water cup and saying 'Only half left' or 'Half remains'.
Can view traffic accident as traffic accident but…
Can view as fateful meeting too.
Think about it.
Way to school.
Corner turning in alley.
Transfer student running biting toast shouting 'Late. Late!'.
Someone running from opposite side too.
Thump.
Collide.
Toast flies.
'Ouch! Watch where you're going!?''You bumped first!''What? Ah really──'
And entering classroom.
That guy earlier is sitting next seat.
'You are that rude guy then!?''You are that unlucky guy then??'
Standard intro of romance starting from bad relationship developing into connection!
Right, that’s it.
Boy Meets Girl! Northern Version!
Structure is identical. Rest is minor detail difference. Within range of genre allowance.
Must be so.
Self-rationalization complete.
Guilt resolved.
Heart became lighter.
Originally humans are animals of self-rationalization. Just my speed is a bit faster. Since agility stat is high.
Bark bark!
While I was lost in contemplation, huskies flocked.
Sniff sniff.
Guys surrounding fainted girl checking girl's state.
Lick. Lick lick.
Girl's face became shiny with saliva.
'Worrying about the girl.'
Nodded pleased.
As expected dog is man's friend.
There is a saying that a person liked by animals is a good person.
Then this girl must definitely not be a bad person.
"Enough. Stop."
Cannot leave fainted girl in this cold.
North's night kills people. Temperature drops sharply after sunset. If collapsed on snowfield without cold protection equipment, only thing remaining when morning comes is one beautiful ice statue.
Must check internal injury too. Looks fine outwardly but might have internal injury.
Minimum responsibility as perpetrator.
Natural duty as Black Knight.
'Take her for now.'
I loaded the girl in the back compartment of the sled.
Pink girl was sandwiched between monster corpses.
Picture is a bit grotesque, but no choice. Only one seat.
"Let’s go."
Flicked reins.
Bark! Bark bark!
Huskies started running simultaneously.
Dog sled rushes on snowfield.
Looked back.
Various monster loot.
And pink girl buried between them.
Today too patrol mission complete.