Chapter 18
Chapter 18
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 18
Chapter Title: The Great Deutsche
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After giving Buer a tentative "I'll think about it" in response to her suggestion, I'm now strolling through downtown Daegu with her.
There's nothing much to do anyway, and it's been ages since I last came down to the Gyeongsang region, so we're wandering Dongseong-ro Street, enjoying the tasty street food and fun attractions.
Bang!
"You crazy bitch."
We spot a punching machine on the street, and she smashes it to bits, earning a scolding from the shop owner. Then she devours some spicy tteokbokki, huffing and puffing as she desperately hunts for something to drink.
Anyway, we're having ourselves a pretty peaceful—and happy?—day.
"So, kid, you gonna stream or what?"
"I'll think about it."
"You'll just think about it forever and do nothing."
"...Why are you nagging me? You wanna see me acting like a clown on camera?"
"Yeah, I really do."
"Fuck off."
Buer's great in every way except for that damn personality of hers.
If only we could fix that rotten attitude, she'd be perfect—but of course, she never will.
Sigh.
"Oh yeah, kid, you ever thought about heading up to Russia sometime?"
"Why Russia?"
She's munching on a peanut pastry and suddenly asks if I'd like to come to Russia sometime.
So I fire back with "Why Russia?"
"Oprichnina's hosting a special event in the second half of the year."
An unexpected bombshell comes flying back at me.
"...A special event?"
Oprichnina is a Russian private PMC. It's a company packed with ex-Spetsnaz soldiers, infamous for operating under Russia's protection.
They especially live by the slogan "Terrorists have no human rights," unleashing overwhelming violence across the globe...
And they're holding a special event?
What, like a head-smashing show?
"$500 per IS grunt's head, $4,000 per squad leader or mid-level officer, and $50,000 to $500,000 per named commander on international wanted lists."
"...Whoa."
This is for real.
Our Russian PMC bros are actually putting on a head-smashing show.
Headhunting, huh...
Roughly 600,000 won per grunt, 5 million per officer head... and named ones from tens of millions to over a hundred million?
"Not bad for pocket change."
IS scum swarm around like rats anyway, and they're easy to kill.
"But you know we're on international wanted lists too, right?"
"Of course."
But there's one massive problem.
Right now, I'm being hunted by Interpol, and Buer's face is plastered right there on the UN joint wanted list from the start.
So if a private PMC's offering cash, what's stopping them from stabbing me in the back?
"Don't worry about that. I know a guy pretty high up in Oprichnina."
"He a criminal too?"
"Obviously?"
"Mafia?"
"Not mafia. Ex-KGB."
"Ooh."
Tougher than I thought.
"Hmm..."
Definitely not a bad opportunity.
Unlike Al-Qaeda or the Taliban, IS are extreme Islamist zealots, and they aren't even that heavily armed.
Not many Awakeners either—mostly regular joes. I could probably sweep a whole day's worth if I set my mind to it.
The issue is the cleanup.
"This contact in Oprichnina—can you really trust him?"
"Yeah. He personally helped me crack the Vladivostok route, and we meet up often. He's solid."
Criminals talking about trust—what a comedy.
The world really is a comedy from afar and a tragedy up close.
"I'll let you know later. Second half of the year anyway, right? Plenty of time, so I'll think it over."
"Our kid thinks all day long~"
"Shut up."
I ignore Buer climbing all over me again and dash toward the ice cream shop in front of us.
Then I order a chocolate one from the menu.
"3,500 won."
"Thanks."
A moment later, I take a big bite of the glistening, thick chocolate ice cream handed over by the part-timer...
"Mmm."
This is it.
"Whatcha eating, kid?"
I'm savoring it when Buer shows up behind me.
"Ice cream."
"Tasty?"
"Yeah."
"Gimme a bite."
"Piss off."
You think I'd share this precious ice cream?
All I'd give you is vodka and lead.
Muttering that to myself, I take another bite.
With Buer's envious face as my backdrop, right as I'm about to dig in again.
Flash!
"...Huh?"
The ice cream's gone.
No—everything around me changed.
The bustling commercial strip that stretched out just moments ago is nowhere in sight, replaced by some dingy cave.
And emerging from it... goblins and kobolds.
"Ah, fuck."
This is inside a dungeon.
"Buer?"
I call out urgently, but Buer's nowhere to be seen.
"Oh, for real."
In front of me, a hideous green goblin drooling like mad. Above, a gloomy cave ceiling blocking out the sunlight.
"Ahh, why me, seriously."
Why, why, why!
Why me of all people!
⚡ SKILL ACTIVATED ⚡ Weapon Transformation (A) GLOCK 21 → HK416
Buer was right there nearby, and other people too—why was I the only one trapped in here!
"My ice cream!"
Looks like a gate popped up right where I was standing.
And tossed me into the dungeon before I could even notice.
Yeah, that's why my fucking ice cream's gone?
-Grrruk!
-Grrrruk!
"Shut the fuck up."
Bang!
I blow the head off the disgusting drooling goblin, crouch down for a sec, and sort my thoughts.
Alright, I'm isolated in a dungeon right now. No clue where this is, what dungeon it is, its rank—nothing.
Seems like I got pulled in through a gate, so I don't even know how many people dropped in total or how to get out.
And the most important part.
"Ice cream."
These fuckers took my ice cream.
Case closed.
I'm not merciful to those who steal my shit.
Especially not some goddamn dungeon that swiped my ice cream—they'll pay with their lives.
"Hoo."
Thoughts sorted.
Time to act.
"Come on."
Click.
Taste the power of our great Deutsche.
So you can become honorary Aryans.
I'll deliver judgment upon you myself.
You Jew-like bastards.
Bang!
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Lost the kid."
While Tree Tree slaughters goblins in a rage over her ice cream,
at the same time, Buer was hunting monsters inside the dungeon too.
Crush!
The massive two-handed axe in Buer's grip slams into the ground, cleaving an orc in half along its path.
After splitting the orc, she grabs the axe again and swings a powerful horizontal slash.
The sharp blade spins, drawing a cold straight line through the air.
Crack!
The line appears, and every monster along it is instantly pulverized.
"Hup!"
Buer swings the axe, splitting a huge orc's body and vaporizing an amorphous slime.
With the monsters in front exterminated, their traces vanish at some point.
No—not vanished, but turned to minced meat, leaving only chunks stuck to the floor.
"Gate, dungeon... looks like our kid's isolated too."
After wiping out the monsters, Buer retrieves her axe and strides confidently forward into the dungeon.
She has no idea of the dungeon's rank, difficulty, or exit—but the thought of dying here doesn't even cross her mind.
So all that's left is to advance.
She passes through the dark black cave, decapitating monsters one by one as she goes.
Kaboom!
After progressing some distance, a massive explosion-like roar echoes from somewhere.
Buer ducks behind a rock, holds her breath, and starts figuring out what the hell that was.
'Hm?'
How long was she hiding behind the rock?
Suddenly, thud thud—something charging comes into earshot.
Assuming it's more monsters, Buer quietly grips her axe and prepares for battle.
-Grrrruk!
-Kweeeek!
-Krrruk!
What enters Buer's view is goblins, kobolds, orcs—monsters fleeing desperately somewhere.
"Stop right there, you mongrels!"
Bang! Bang! Bang!
And chasing them, some crazy kid is unloading her gun indiscriminately at the monsters.
"This is revenge for my ice cream, you shits!"
Looks like she'd pounded a few shots—chasing the herd like a wolf after sheep.
Recklessly, brutally, mindlessly sprinting while spraying bullets.
-Kweee!
But every single bullet hits a vital spot precisely, popping one head per shot...
"This is porn."
Footage that'd captivate military geeks and sadists alike was right here.
So Buer thought.
Gunfire, blood, gore. All the pervs' favorites in one package—this was basically a snuff film.
Entertaining such silly thoughts, she quietly sits down, cracks open her hidden vodka, and chugs it down.
No snacks, but maybe the situation's entertaining enough.
"Mmm. This hits the spot."
The vodka's going down extra smooth today.