The Attendant's Rest Is Still a Long Way Off
"Um... is there anywhere like a café in this place...?"
I glanced carefully at Junko. I was nothing more than a temporary bartender who had only just been dropped here; there was no reason I should know the layout of a facility this vast.
"There is no chance a place under this girl's care holds nothing but some ordinary café. A private tearoom has been set aside, with the finest tea leaves and confections kept ready at all times."
Junko rose slowly from her seat and stretched, languid as a cat in the sun.
"When we arrive, do serve this girl cold water or tea first. Cooling the heat in one's mouth ought to come before all else."
Haeshin, who had been watching, folded her arms and lifted her chin with imperious pride.
"Hmph. If a guide is required, it is only proper that the keeper of this facility provide one. Lead on, Junko. We must rinse Our tongue with proper tea before this sweetness sets it entirely stiff."
Her gaze swung back to me.
"And you, attendant. You will of course follow, and fill Our cup. Upon reaching the tearoom, you need only use the tea implements prepared there."
And so my short-lived plan for a rest came to nothing once again. How many times had I already untied this apron, only to tie it right back on? At this point, it would have been kinder to my nerves never to take it off at all.
Junko drifted unhurriedly toward the corridor. Haeshin, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, flicked her eyes at me—an order to follow at her back.
All the while we walked, a fierce blizzard still hammered the glass. Ahead of me, the hem of Junko's kimono and the tail of Haeshin's uniform coat swayed side by side, keeping time with their steps.
Junko slid the tearoom door open with a smooth motion of her hand. I had expected the faint perfume of tea and a space laid out with immaculate implements. What tickled my nose instead was, absurdly enough, the bitter scent of roasted beans.
The room did manage the air of something one might call a tearoom—but only because tatami and a low table occupied it. Of any vessel for steeping tea there was not a sign. Thick espresso hung in the air, and a single cat, plainly a familiar, kept the place alone.
Crouched on a cushion, the white cat paid our arrival no mind whatsoever, wholly devoted to grooming its fur with one forepaw. Behind it, a modern espresso machine breathed up lazy ribbons of steam, cheerfully ruining the traditional mood.
"What is this smell? Unless Our nose has gone numb, is this harsh, bitter reek not coffee? We clearly commanded that tea be presented to cleanse the palate."
This was supposed to be the tearoom of a first-rate secret retreat, and yet the tea set had vanished without a trace, leaving only an unidentified cat and a coffee machine. Haeshin's temper had knotted itself thoroughly. She leveled a sharp glare at Junko, but Junko, far from flustered, hid her mouth behind a sleeve and let a shameless little laugh escape.
"My. This girl may be the keeper, yet she can hardly govern every trifling mistake the familiars make, every minute and every second. It seems the little dears set out beans today instead of tea leaves. Still, the scent of coffee has a certain elegance of its own."
Having serenely laid the blame for her own neglect upon the cat familiar, Junko settled with perfect ease before the low table on the tatami.
"Well then, temporary bartender. If there are no tools for steeping tea, you may ransack the storeroom until you find them—or you may dress up whatever that machine produces and present it with suitable flair. You will show us your skill, will you not?"
Haeshin exhaled an irritated sigh and dropped onto the cushion opposite. She had not the faintest intention of searching for anything herself. She only stared up at me, unblinking.
"Attendant. Do you mean to leave Us waiting, unable even to wet Our throat? Fetch the tea leaves that must be stuffed away somewhere in this room, and do it now!"
I met the familiar's eyes for a brief moment. Its small nose twitched, and a heavy smell of coffee rose off the creature. Chicks were already building my house—the magical girls' sanctuary besides—so a cat pulling coffee was hardly cause for surprise.
When I stepped toward its place, the familiar sprang down onto the tatami. Then, just as Lady Shinano did, it became a girl with cat ears, beamed at me with a bright, unrepentant smile, and slipped out of the tearoom as if in flight.
I was left standing before the espresso machine it had abandoned, my face distinctly unenthusiastic. There was nothing for it but to make their drinks with the thing.
For Junko, still suffering the bite of spice, I built a gentle matcha latte, pouring espresso and milk over a matcha base. For our sovereign, whose palate ran closer to a child's, I sweetened an espresso, mounded it with cream, and finished an Einspänner.
I set the two cups on a tray and carried them back to the table.
"A matcha latte for Lady Junko... and an Einspänner for Lady Haeshin."
"Hmph. Unable even to produce a tea set, and so you resort to serving this crude coffee..."
Haeshin took the cup from my hand and snorted. For all the edge in her voice, her eyes had locked onto the trembling white cream. She brought the rim to her lips, leaned in, and drank as though carefully licking away only the sweet layer on top. At the intense sweetness on the tip of her tongue, the sharpness of her gaze eased, just a little.
"Well... the taste itself is not unacceptable. This measure of sugar ought to suffice to soothe Our person, wearied by weighty duties."
She delivered the verdict in a dignified tone and set the cup down. She alone remained perfectly oblivious to the snow-white mustache of cream clinging to her upper lip.
"Soft milk and the fragrance of matcha wrap this girl's insides ever so gently. For something assembled in haste, it is a rather admirable recovery, temporary bartender."
Junko held a sip of the latte and smiled at her leisure. Her sleeve hid her lips; her shoulders trembled with a suppressed laugh. Her eyes traveled between my face and that of the sovereign, who still sat in proud dignity, cream mustache and all.
When that gaze settled on me, it carried a peculiar mischief. Haeshin, who styled herself a king, with a generous smear of white cream across her upper lip—it was, without question, a difficult sight not to laugh at. But that was a liberty one guest might take with another. I, who stood behind the counter, had to preserve her dignity.
"Regrettably, I am not a man of the tea ceremony. I make drinks, and I pull coffee. I thought it best to show you what I can do most well."
I drew a clean handkerchief from my pocket. I did not fuss, did not announce that something was on her mouth, and did not bustle over to wipe it away myself. I simply held the handkerchief out before her in silence. A wordless offering, I thought, was both courtesy and the surest way to spare her face.
"Why do you suddenly present a handkerchief? We have shed no such thing as sweat."
At that voice, entirely unaware of her own condition, Junko finally laughed aloud.
"Fufu... The space above Lady Haeshin's lip looks truly soft, and sweet. A splendid white mustache, most befitting an emperor's majesty."
"A m-mustache...?"
Haeshin froze and brushed above her lip with her fingertips. When white, sweet cream came away on her fingers, her pupils shook as if the ground itself had lurched. The face that had been endlessly haughty flushed red in an instant.
"Y-y-you...! Attendant! If something this hideous had stuck itself to Our face, you ought to have bowed your head at once and reported it!"
She snatched the handkerchief from my hand, whipped her head aside, and scrubbed frantically at her mouth. Seen from behind—scarlet to the ears, huffing with indignation—she looked less like a king who meant to rule the world and more like a girl floundering in pure embarrassment.
Junko, cup in hand, savored the view at her leisure.
"To offer consideration in silence, without kicking up an exaggerated fuss... Thanks to the temporary bartender's excellent hospitality, the air in today's tearoom has grown very sweet indeed."
Haeshin kept the handkerchief pressed hard over her mouth and glared at me from the corner of her reddened eyes. Junko rested her chin on one hand and watched, smiling with languid delight.
Unable to master the heat in her face, Haeshin surged to her feet, her coat hem snapping.
"W-We shall return to Our room first! Attendant! Have every remaining confection presented in Our chamber!"
The command, dignity wrung out of it by force, scattered emptily through the tearoom. Hurried footsteps thudded across the tatami and faded. In the end Haeshin fled with her face still blazing, and Junko covered her mouth with a hand, laughing as if the whole affair had been fine entertainment.
She lifted the matcha latte from the table and lightly breathed in its scent.
"In any case... it seems to have resolved itself rather well."
Just then, from outside, Haeshin's bellow and a bright "Nya!" rang out together.
"You wretch! You dare take flight before the Emperor?! Halt where you stand!"
Leaving the scolding in the corridor behind her, the familiar girl—cat ears and tail both—slipped in through the gap of the sliding door. As if nothing whatsoever had happened, she turned back into a cat and hid behind me. She was plainly the culprit who had tampered with the espresso machine on a whim, and her nerve was extraordinary.
Junko slowly savored a mouthful of latte, then set the cup down.
"A fine combination. The espresso reins in the bitterness of the matcha. The spice lingering in this girl's mouth has vanished without a trace."
She glanced down at the familiar tucked behind my legs, reading the room.
"That cat is one of the creatures Senior Shinano keeps, and she reads a situation with remarkable speed. Teasing someone as full of openings as Lady Haeshin—she has quite mastered the art."
A languid smile spread at the corner of Junko's mouth.
"Her grasp of daily life is very nearly zero. By now she is probably struggling even to shut a sliding door by herself."
She giggled softly and covered her lips with her fingertips.
"Thanks to that, this girl has enjoyed a truly delightful spectacle. Well then—ought you not go deliver the remaining confections, in obedience to the great sovereign's command?"