Chapter 64
Chapter 64
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 64
Chapter Title: Catch That Bastard (2)
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I got Diana's permission and immediately set off with Ramel to chase after the two who'd supposedly been hauled away by the guards.
Before long, I spotted them walking alongside the guards.
But they weren't in handcuffs. Instead, they were having a serious conversation with the guards, received something from them, and then parted ways.
"...What... is this?"
"...Ramel."
"Oh, no way—it was real! From afar earlier, it really looked like...!"
"Hmph. So, they bribed their way out?"
"That's it! Nothing else makes sense!"
It was a plausible story.
I remembered how, when Edelbert and Diana had clashed, the guard captain who showed up accepted a soul stone and backed off with a sleazy grin.
'But back then, Edelbert and Diana were way out of his league, so he had no choice but to retreat, right?'
These two weren't anywhere near that level.
So how the hell did they get released by the guards?
'Well, if they hadn't done anything arrest-worthy in the first place...'
But these two? They'd definitely pulled some stunt...
The truth of the incident was shocking.
Truly, unbelievably, Jubel and Joy Hog hadn't committed any crimes at all!
It was all just Ramel's mistake—he'd seen them talking to the guards from afar and assumed they'd been arrested on the spot.
"Ramel! Balkan! You really didn't trust us that much?!"
"That's too much. I'm offended now. You might get a taste of my sword aura."
Too much? You bastards are the ones going overboard.
"Put your hands on your hearts and think about everything you've done up till now."
Jubel and Joy Hog—normal enough most days, but Joy Hog turned into a raging drunken dwarf the moment booze hit him, and Jubel was always a bit off in the head.
Honestly, if I'd heard these two got dragged off to jail, I'd just think, 'Ah, finally?' and nod along.
At my words, Joy Hog and Jubel clutched their chests thoughtfully.
"Yeah—argh—"
"Kyaaaaaaaah!"
Right then, Jubel sprayed breast milk straight into Ramel's face.
Ramel freaked out, yelled, then rolled his eyes back and passed out cold.
See? With antics like this, who wouldn't believe they got arrested?
Joy Hog glanced at the fainted Ramel, then cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Ahem. Anyway. We didn't do anything worth getting locked up for. In fact, we picked up a commission."
"A commission?"
"Yeah. A big one. Not academy-level payout, but decent. Whether we take it or not depends on what you all think, though. We'll talk details tomorrow when the whole party's together."
Fair enough. No rush if they weren't actually arrested.
We exchanged quick greetings and split up.
Jubel hoisted Ramel—covered in white milky fluid—over her shoulder.
"Will Ramel be okay? Looks like it might leave a trauma."
"Huh? He'll be fine. She scares him half to death, but deep down he loves it. Best reactions, too. Even tends to my milk lines sometimes."
Ah... I see.
What a complicated relationship.
The next morning.
After wrapping up sparring with Edelbert, I headed down to the Explorer's Union lobby when some unfamiliar guy approached me.
I reflexively peered into his status window.
Now I could even glimpse mid-30s explorers' stats and blessing counts. That cleared up one mystery I'd had.
I'd once wondered why status checks got definitively blocked on late-20s explorers.
Back then, I'd guessed it felt like a second job change around level 20-something, boosting their tier sharply, and maybe they got extra stats per level-up...
And now, analyzing this guy Gellen's window with my grown senses, my guess was spot on.
'Stats go up by 2 each from level 25.'
For me, it'd been 1 free point per level so far, but post-25, it'd be 2.
Seemed like just yesterday I felt an insurmountable wall against mid-tier explorers.
Total raw stats alone, we're practically peers now.
Even with nearly double the level gap.
'Of course, the ??? Blessing's massive stat boosts are doing the heavy lifting.'
Still, no room for complacency.
To uncover the truth behind that mysterious blessing, I need to get even stronger.
Edelbert or Diana tier? Impossible. Zirnier tier? Tough. Serif tier? Still dicey.
Suddenly, I recalled the level 40s paladin from the temple. The golden-armored one guarding Serif.
Yeah, at least that level... then I'd be somewhat set.
"Hey. You. You listening? You ignoring me on purpose?"
Lost in thought for a moment.
Some ugly bastard shoved his face right up to mine.
"Fuck! You startled me!"
I jerked back in shock.
Even on first sight, curses just spilled out.
Fuck. What kinda psycho is this? Why's this guy jamming his face in another guy's space?
Instinctual disgust surged toward this Gellen guy from his status window.
Pumpkin-headed, gourd-shaped freak acting like an irredeemable gay psycho toward another dude.
"What? Fuck? You just cussed me out?"
"You shoved your face in my space outta nowhere, so I got spooked. Sorry for the language. What do you want?"
My bad for firing first, so I apologized politely and asked his business.
But Gellen didn't seem pleased even with that.
"Tch. Save the apology. Just answer. What tricks did you pull to become the Union Leader's disciple?"
"Pardon?"
"Sold your ass? Sucked him off? Or... you got dirt on the Union Leader?"
His sudden bullshit left me dazed.
'What the hell? This retard?'
Who spews this vile crap to a stranger in public? With all these eyes around?
Gellen's eyes were full-on deranged, rationality gone, pure rage.
"Ahh, in the end..."
"This is why love's dangerous. Once they flip, they dive in headfirst. Why I don't go for guys. Too messy."
"...Not that you couldn't?"
His party members—seemingly trying to calm him while eyeing the crowd—couldn't hold him back; he was too far gone.
"Spit it out! How'd you become the Union Leader's disciple?!"
From what I gathered, he was jealous I'd become Edelbert's disciple... but it made no sense to me.
After all, unlike this pathetic shitshow:
"My master came to me first, kept insisting I become his disciple, so I did. Why the fuck you bitching at me, you fag?"
Edelbert had approached me first with the offer.
No more polite bullshit. No respect for this worm.
No reason to bow to someone who doesn't respect me.
"F-Fag? Wait—Union Leader approached you first?! Bullshit! Obvious you seduced him with that body!"
Gellen denied reality even when faced with facts.
Plus, his tone dripped inferiority complex.
I looked down at Gellen—solar plexus height on me.
Decent build and height for this world's men, but...
'This thing's really supposed to be a male?'
Almost pitied the virgin loser.
Right then, instinct hit: why he'd flipped out.
Superior body breeds superior mind.
His scrawny frame rotted his psyche too.
"...Yeah. Think what you want. Good luck."
"...You bastard!"
One sympathetic word, and he caught my kindness—trembling, fists clenched.
I casually backed toward the Union Leader's private elevator.
Gellen lunged—but froze midway.
Elevator for the Leader and his disciple only.
No mere explorer could board or touch it.
'Touch it, and Union explorers would beat his ass.'
"Hey, keep at it! Fighting! Work hard, you can be a disciple too!"
Vrrr—
Words done, doors shut.
Gellen's humiliated grimace was priceless.
"Aaaargh! That fucking piece-of-shit bastard!!"
His praises echoed below as I grinned.
Ding—the doors opened. Back in the training room, Edelbert awaited.
"Why're you back up? Forget something?"
Edelbert stared, question mark practically over his head.
'Gellen won't buzz off for a while.'
Standing idle's fine, but something productive's better.
"Sparring with Master was too fun and addictive. Came back for another round."
"...Hmph."
Whip-crack—Edelbert's black cat tail lashed as he flashed a rare predatory grin, loosening his wrists and closing in.
"Disciple's sudden enthusiasm delights this master."
I instinctively backpedaled at the sight. His vibe was off—dangerous.
Guess I fucked up big-time with that call.
"...Balkan ain't dead, right?"
"Can't be sure. Might be. Jubel! Blast him with milk. Shock therapy."
"Finally my turn?"
Voices drifted from somewhere.
Ah, right. I'd gotten wrung out by Edelbert, barely dragged myself back to the inn.
Then met Joy Hog's party right away to plan the next Labyrinth run.
Eyes heavy with fatigue blinked open to a cow's udders in view.
"Jubel. Keep that up, I'll rip those tits off. Wanna be flat-chested?"
"Eek... S-sorry."
Jubel paled, hastily covering her chest. The others snickered; only priestess Hitollis blushed.
"Ahem. Everyone's here, so let's talk this commission."
Joy Hog cleared his throat, drawing attention, and began outlining the job.
"Remember that shaman hobgoblin's staff we nabbed last time?"
Instantly, horrific memories replayed in my head.
Kraaaah! Get outta my skull, Hopgokkas!!