Honestly, Neither Curses nor Shit-Water Are a Big Deal
"Disaster Grade, huh. Is that the one? Two whole steps below Tribulation Grade."
What was truly astonishing was that I'd learned even this by eavesdropping off those bastards.
Common, Harm, Misfortune, Disaster, Calamity, Tribulation, and Annihilation Grades for demonic beasts. For shamans, the ranks ran from Novice Shaman, Shaman, Spirit Master, Mystic, True Master, up to Celestial.
When I heard the word "Celestial," I was genuinely startled for a moment. Surely I wasn't expected to take up the shaman trade in this world too? But apparently that wasn't the case.
"…Do you seriously not know? You're not a shaman?"
Yuki cut off the other suited man before he could finish.
"First, we draw up a plan. It will take time for support to arrive. In the worst case, lives could be lost."
"Ha, damn it all. What kind of coincidence even is this? Feels like something staged specifically to screw with us."
"It could be the work of curse criminals. As for this man—"
Yuki glanced at me. She stopped mid-sentence.
"…We'll deal with that later. Everyone, on your feet. Headquarters will be sending support shortly, so we enter the site first. If we judge this beyond what we can contain, we evacuate the building immediately. Is that clear, everyone?"
So that's how they run things here.
I rested my chin on my hand and opened my mouth.
"So if this gets out of hand, you cover it up as an accident? A building collapse, a fire, something along those lines?"
Yuki, who had been rising from her seat, froze. She shot me a sidelong look, her eyes gone cold.
"…That is for us to decide."
I turned my head away. This whole thing struck me as genuinely bizarre.
Up on the terrace, ordinary people on an ordinary weekday afternoon were strolling around at their leisure — and down here, a Disaster Grade demon was quietly gestating? That was truly strange.
"…You as well — for now, evacuate the building immediately. And until we issue further instructions, you will not breathe a single word about us."
"Why me?"
There were two odd things about that. If I were the danger they seemed to think I was, then telling me to evacuate the building was pointless — I'd be perfectly safe regardless. And ordering me not to open my mouth until instructed meant they were effectively trying to dictate how I lived my life.
Which in turn meant that sending a dangerous individual like me off alone was itself strange. So that made three.
Three, not two. Hmm.
"Team Leader. If this man turns out to be connected to the curse criminals…"
The yellow-haired one stole a sideways glance at me.
He didn't seem like the type to say something like that so casually in front of the person himself, which meant the situation must truly be dire.
Yuki kept her expression blank, but worry was bleeding through. Her mind was likely scattering those thoughts in every direction like a pinball.
"You're not going to evacuate, then? Right here, right now?"
I answered briefly.
"No. If it's dangerous, of course I'll leave."
"…Never mind. I am rescinding the evacuation order. Do not leave my sight until headquarters support arrives. We will protect you to the best of our ability."
Bzzt. Bzzt. Her phone rang. I kept my silence in a way that said don't say anything stupid.
Yuki couldn't check her phone until I opened my mouth. Even then, she stared at me as she finally spoke.
"Understood. If you accompany us until then, I will reconsider your classification as a dangerous individual."
"Reconsider?"
"That is correct."
"Sounds to me like you can just keep surveilling me even if I do tag along."
"…"
"One way I'm watched up close, the other I'm watched from a distance."
"Understood. I will record that you decline to accompany us."
I stroked my chin as I replied.
"Then I suppose you'll just have to keep suspecting me of doing something with cursed energy the moment I evacuate."
"…Ha."
Her face contorted. Contorted as far as a face possibly could. Her teammates kept their eyes fixed on her, and her phone buzzed away in her pocket — bzzt, bzzt — again and again.
"Understood. This is the last time. I will… take responsibility and report it as non-hostile, cooperative conduct. Anything beyond that is outside my authority. Are we clear?"
Really?
"Well, then, no helping it. I'll come along. By the way — are you recording this conversation right now?"
"Recording, you say?"
"Yes. Recording."
"…Yes."
A sudden question occurred to me.
Does this world have Heart Demon Oaths too?
When we reached a corner of the second-floor restroom, we found suited personnel overseeing some kind of containment operation.
It was the men's room. Talismans engraved with a perception-dulling art had been arranged into a Mind-Befuddling Formation.
A Mind-Befuddling Formation was an array that clouded people's judgment and muddled their senses. It made the brain misinterpret what it saw, so that even the viewer couldn't say what it was they'd actually witnessed.
For instance, if you stumbled across some lunatic taking a dump in the middle of the street, your brain would simply decide, Huh. Some stray dog's taking a dump and its owner's nowhere in sight.
"Team Leader, you've arrived. One moment… who is he?"
At the first suited man's question, Yuki glanced back at me.
"There are circumstances. Is energy currently being detected inside the restroom?"
"Yes, sir — that is, yes. But… it's Calamity-Scatter Type. We can't begin to guess how the resentment will manifest."
"Can we take a look inside?"
"You're letting that civilian in as well?"
"For now."
Suited eyes slid toward me.
"A woman walking into the men's room."
Thick suspicion hung in the air. And in much the same fashion, Yuki's gaze was fired at me too.
"…"
Footsteps resumed.
Inside, the restroom was undeniably heavy with dark energy. Earth seemed to use the word "monster" as a catch-all term for these things, but back in the Cultivation Realm we'd called them demonic beasts.
Beings born steeped in negative energy.
Though honestly, the Cultivation Realm was crawling with things far worse than demonic beasts, so the distinction never amounted to much.
Dung-stalls and monsters. A match made in heaven.
By now they seemed to have collectively decided to ignore everything I said.
Yuki checked one of the stalls. Her expression hardened.
So did her teammates'. So did mine.
The toilet water was pitch black. I grimaced. Son of a—
Yuki hurriedly checked another stall. Then another, and another, all the way to the far end. Every stall door hung open. Inside each one was the same black, filthy sludge. No ravenous giant with a taste for blue juice could have wandered through every stall like he owned the place by mere coincidence.
And on top of that, it was runny.
My stomach was starting to turn.
"Team Leader. Team Leader, could this be…"
The yellow-haired one started to ask, but Yuki hurried out of the restroom without answering. I followed, and found her conferring with the suited men outside.
"How dangerous are we talking? Is civilian harm likely?"
Yuki weighed it, then answered.
"It's exactly what you saw. Disaster Grade, Calamity-Scatter Type. The problem is… we don't currently have a single shaman on this team equipped to handle Calamity-Scatter."
"I can handle Curse Type to some degree, at least."
"This is Calamity-Scatter. Sealing this one spot won't improve anything. The state of the toilet water means… the impurity may already be mixed into the drainage of this entire building."
Which meant this building had already crossed the point of no return, didn't it? I could hear the suited men swallowing. And that was without anyone even properly unfolding their senses.
"Then what are we supposed to do? Team 4 was never anything but a combat unit. We don't even have suitable cursed tools."
"First… we'll have to cut off the calamity spreading out through all the branches."
"And if the calamity has already transferred to civilians who touched the water?"
"Then we cut it out of them."
Hmm.
Surely I wasn't expected to get dragged around for all of this too?
But I did have one question — I had no idea what exactly these people meant by "Calamity-Scatter Type."
"You talking about that shit-water just now?"
Yuki's eyes went cold at me yet again.
"…That's enough."
"Enough of what?"
"This is a matter where lives are at stake. Setting aside your report of non-hostile cooperation, every word and deed of yours can still go into that report."
"Why? It's just shit-water."
"Ha…"
Yuki let out a short sigh, then finally tore her eyes off me, apparently having given up on me entirely, and began issuing orders to each of her teammates in turn.
You go there. You go there. You go there and do such-and-such.
Her teammates nodded stiff-faced, over and over.
So then — what about me?
What am I supposed to do? Just get hauled around like luggage?
"Our first priority is controlling the drainage. We'll cast an illusion making it appear the entire building has been cut off from water."
"I'm not sure our cursed energy can manage an effect of that scale."
"Shamans capable of responding to Calamity-Scatter will be arriving soon. And in force. We map out the building's structure first, then you'll escort them and guide them through it."
"Hold on — the shit-water's in the restroom. Why are you blocking the drainage for the whole building?"
"…"
Ignored again.
"It's not like shit-water in here turns the rest of the building into shit-water too."
Unless it's floating around in midair, anyway. Ugh. Damn it.
"…I told you to stop."
Yuki's eyes swung back to me.
"Now what?"
"Final warning."
"No, listen — shouldn't your priority right now be stopping the source, not containing the spread? The water's like that because a source already exists. Getting rid of the water accomplishes nothing."
That's just how shit-water works, isn't it? The water goes murky because of the offending lump; shit-water doesn't give birth to more shit-water. Same deal here. This damn—
And thinking about it was making my stomach turn even more…
"Which is why we are currently preparing to delete the, uh, source—"
Yuki stopped mid-sentence.
She'd been replaying my words in her head, and her lashes gave a little twitch.
"…One moment. Are you saying this is not Calamity-Scatter?"
"What even is Calamity-Scatter, exactly?"
"So you're saying the — the dangerous part is the… ha, the poop itself, and the poop-water is the less dangerous part? So the, um, poop-poison can't, like, rise out of the water?"
I narrowed my eyes.
"God, that's filthy."
"…"
"Do you have a particular taste for saying filthy things out loud, all embarrassed about it? Or were you attempting a metaphor?"
Yuki clenched her teeth.
"…A metaphor."
The teammates, who had been on the verge of moving, all turned to stare at me. I stood at the center of them, stroking my chin. Calamity-Scatter. Calamity-Scatter Type. As in scattering misfortune? That was probably it.
The truth was, in the world I came from, the concepts of curses and misfortune were nothing grand or mysterious.
Because they weren't some supernatural abstraction — they were genuinely reproducible phenomena.
There was the Sea of Consciousness, a space within the mind. Corrupt it, and that was a curse. Or there was the concept of the soul, the hun and po. Break a person's soul apart in just the right way, cripple them, and that too was a curse.
Put it all together and you call it sorcery.
Misfortune was different. It was a method for twisting the cause and effect of fate itself.
Bending a person's karma and allotted lifespan so that disasters snarled into knots — instead of stabbing someone with a knife, you nailed down the destiny of being stabbed by a knife into their future.
When karma was real and the secrets of heaven were real, how could destiny not be real as well?
The bastards who wielded it were all but guaranteed to be called Old Monsters.
Though the younger generation called me an Old Monster too. Why was that, again?
"I don't think merely touching that water would transfer any misfortune, for what it's worth."
If a beast that had done nothing but appear could twist the fate of everyone in the vicinity, it wouldn't just be dangerous — it would be absurdly, terrifyingly strong. I meant that sincerely.
"Nor does it look likely to… break anyone's mind or body, either."
The sound of swallowing grew heavier all around.
I'd apparently barged into their business uninvited… but that still beat having my shit-water theory ignored.
One by one, more people passed by in the corridor. Not a single expression crossed Yuki's face.
Only after another one or two had walked past did she seem to reach a decision from somewhere deep within, and she drew out a talisman.
Riiip— She tore it.
Unlike every talisman I'd seen so far, this one was steeped in an exceptional, potent aura. One look told you it had cost real money.
"Team Leader, that's—"
Before the yellow-haired one could even finish,
Yuki stepped into the restroom.
A short while later.
She emerged with some mysterious, deeply meaningful substance smeared across her hand, and stood before us.
"…It's not Calamity-Scatter. That man is right."
Her eyes fixed on the space behind me, and behind her teammates.
"It's Destruction Type. It has manifested. Here. Right now."
————KA-BOOM!!!
On the far side of the restroom, the wall of some pop-up store exploded.