Kissing Friends Is Just Common Sense
I stared blankly at my own hand. The index finger that had just brushed my cheek still had a faint, whitish smear on it. It was the trace of Kim Hanbin’s semen I’d wiped away.
“What the… did it actually work…?”
In the middle of that, Hanbin spoke up. I know this is really embarrassing to say, but he looked utterly ridiculous. He was sitting awkwardly on the chair with a black blindfold over his eyes, pants and underwear shoved down to his knees. Not to mention the semen leaking from the torn condom.
“Ugh, I don’t know. Take the blindfold off or do whatever you want.”
Jian snapped irritably and curled up, hugging her knees. The moment she finished speaking, Hanbin yanked the blindfold off.
“Whoa! What the hell is this mess?”
He immediately pulled the condom off. But because it had already been a disaster inside, his dick was coated in semen like it had been slathered on. Only a gross feeling remained. He quickly grabbed some tissues from the table and wiped himself clean.
It was the kind of situation that really made you question your life choices.
“Haa… I’m losing my mind.”
“……”
This was truly a perfect storm of chaos. It took both of us quite a while to calm down. Of course, Hanbin still couldn’t settle his heart after receiving a handjob from me, and I felt the exact same way. I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear after giving him one.
But this was a tiny rest area with nowhere to hide. Jian lifted her head and let out a long sigh.
“Why… did the condom have to break right there…?”
“Probably… because you put it on wrong.”
Hanbin pushed the pile of used tissues aside and awkwardly avoided eye contact as he answered. Jian frowned deeply at his response.
“Did you even know how to put a condom on?”
“H-how would I know? I’ve never used one before.”
“Ha, of course you haven’t. Ugh, my million won! After all the shit I went through!”
“Ahem.”
Jian shot him a sharp glare.
“Once we leave this room, we forget everything. Got it?”
“…Yeah. I got it.”
The memory was still painfully vivid. I never knew someone’s fingers could be that skillful. It felt completely different from doing it myself. If I were being honest, there was no way I’d ever forget it, but I had to say that anyway.
Only after the atmosphere had lightened enough for this kind of casual conversation could we both turn to look at the whiteboard together.
MISSION: (Content changes based on bonus mission success; condom possession condition satisfied) Participant Seo Jian must personally apply a condom to Participant Kim Hanbin’s penis. In that state, make him ejaculate by any means necessary, then take a selfie with the semen-filled condom pressed against your cheek to succeed.
“But… is there really a penalty?”
Jian suddenly asked while examining her hands and various parts of her body. It made sense—she didn’t feel any different at all.
“We still don’t know for sure. Last time it only started when you got home and tried to shower.”
“…Yeah. But it’s called Common Sense Alteration, right? I feel completely normal right now. Shouldn’t something about my common sense have changed?”
At Jian’s question, Hanbin rested his chin on his hand and thought for a moment before suddenly asking,
“What’s one plus one?”
“Are you messing with me right now?”
“You don’t actually not know, do you?”
“…It’s two. If you’re going to ask about common sense, at least make it sound plausible.”
The truth was, Hanbin had wanted to ask something else. As far as he knew, Common Sense Alteration was usually the kind of perverted trope you saw in dirty comics. Like how you’re supposed to open the car door to get in, or that one plus one equals three. It was far more likely to create some kind of lewd situation than something like that. Especially considering the kind of missions this whiteboard usually gave them.
That’s what Hanbin thought.
“…Hey, by the way.”
He seemed embarrassed to even bring it up, clearing his throat several times with awkward “ahem, ahem” sounds before cautiously continuing.
“How do I look to you right now?”
“What are you even saying? Where did that come from?”
Jian frowned like she couldn’t understand the question.
“I mean… do I suddenly look really handsome or something? Or like I got way cooler all of a sudden… No, what I’m saying is—hey, don’t laugh! I’m being serious!”
“Pfft! Are you crazy? You’re really saying that with your own mouth? Kekeke! Gross!”
“……”
He scratched his head, feeling awkward. Jian clutched her stomach and laughed at him.
“That’s what Common Sense Alteration is supposed to be. You told me to make it plausible, didn’t you?”
“…So it really is stuff like this?”
“I told you earlier. It makes things that a person would never normally do feel completely natural. So if the penalty has already been applied…”
“If it’s been applied?”
Seo Jian leaned forward, closing the distance. Hanbin’s gaze unconsciously drifted down to her drooping hoodie neckline and the shadow beneath it before he quickly turned his head away.
“…I don’t know. They didn’t tell us what the penalty even is.”
“Ugh. You’re seriously no help at all.”
Jian irritably pushed her chair back with a loud scrape and stood up. She swept her messy bangs aside and strode straight toward the rest area door.
“Anyway, there’s no weird change in my head right now, so it doesn’t matter, right? As long as I can live normally, it’s fine.”
“You’re going to study right away without resting?”
“I’m too frustrated to rest. I’ll just solve some math problems for about an hour without thinking. Let’s go eat at eleven. You can rest if you want.”
Click.
With that, Jian left the rest area.
> First, to put on a condom correctly, you must pinch the tip to prevent air from getting inside. Otherwise it might break.
The person who had loudly declared she was going to study was secretly watching a condom application tutorial with an earbud in her right ear. Well, calling it a video was a stretch—it was just some middle-aged woman on YouTube explaining it while showing a condom. It was the kind of promotional video you’d see from an adult product company. She definitely wasn’t watching porn.
‘Why did I do that?’
‘Why didn’t I pay attention to this?’
‘It doesn’t always break, so why did it have to break when I used it?’
Seo Jian was deep in belated regret. Even though it was too late to change anything, without realizing it she was making vows like ‘next time,’ ‘never again,’ and ‘from now on’ that she would never make the same mistake. As if there would even be a next time.
Then she heard the sound of a chair being pushed back from the opposite side and hurriedly closed her phone, pretending to study. Hanbin soon walked over to her seat.
“I’m heading out to eat now. You coming? You said we should go to the Chinese place.”
“I-it’s already past eleven?”
“Yeah. Watching one lecture made the time fly by. You’re coming, right?”
“Uh, yeah. Let’s go. You go ahead first.”
As always, the moment they left the rest area, Hanbin spoke to her like nothing had happened. That always made Jian think to herself, ‘Am I the only one still bothered by it?’ Even though Hanbin had spent the last hour struggling to get rid of his erection while watching his lecture.
Jian sent Hanbin out first, then covered her face with both hands and let out a deep sigh. She shook her head.
‘As long as nothing happens from now on, it’ll be fine.’
The moment they left the rest area, everything that had happened inside would be treated like it never occurred. And if she just acted normal like this, she probably wouldn’t have to deal with that ridiculous Common Sense Alteration penalty either.
She slapped her own cheek and stood up.
The two of them headed to a Chinese restaurant that required walking a bit further out of the alley than the nearby gukbap place. It was a random Chinese restaurant with a dining hall that had somehow opened in this remote area. They each ordered a bowl of jajangmyeon, had a simple conversation, and quietly ate their lunch.
“How late do you want to study today?”
“…Let’s go until eight first. If I’m focused I’ll keep going, otherwise I’ll just head home.”
“Then I’ll stay until you finish too.”
“What do you want for dinner?”
“Want to get hamburgers?”
“Sounds good.”
In the middle of it all, Hanbin finished every last drop of the black bean sauce while Jian left nearly half her bowl, saying she was full. After paying, they returned to the reading room. Hanbin walked ahead while Jian followed behind, hopping along like she was only stepping on the red paving blocks.
Just like that, nothing happened at all. Thanks to clearing their heads a bit during lunch, the two of them quietly focused on studying from the afternoon onward. Except for a quick bathroom break, they kept at it until six o’clock. Dinner was delivered hamburgers as discussed at lunch. After that, they finished their evening studies without any incidents and reached eight o’clock.
‘What? Nothing happened?’
Seo Jian smiled brightly in relief. She had been secretly very worried that some weird penalty would activate, just like Hanbin had warned. But so far, nothing had happened. Eating was normal. Studying was normal. Going to the bathroom was normal. She concluded that living her usual life wouldn’t cause any major problems.
‘Then it should be fine to go home like this.’
She walked over to Hanbin’s seat and tapped him on the back.
“Hey, let’s go.”
“Weren’t you going to study more? It’s only eight.”
“Just… the twenty-four-hour duration is bothering me, so I want to go home and sleep. It feels weird. Since nothing’s happened so far, I think it’ll be fine if we keep going like this.”
“Yeah, whatever. I can review vocabulary at home anyway.”
Since they didn’t bother matching schedules in the morning, they usually took the subway or bus separately. But when they left together in the evening, they usually took the subway home side by side. Jian sat on the outside of the long bench seat while Hanbin sat next to her. Both of them had their earphones in, listening to music.
The first to get off was Seo Jian. When the subway announcement played, she looked around quickly, pulled out her earphones, and tapped Hanbin on the shoulder.
“I’m getting off here. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Get home safe.”
Hanbin nodded as he removed his left earphone. The train came to a stop at the platform. With a whooshing sound, the subway doors opened wide. Jian adjusted the bag she was holding and stood up. And then, in the very next moment…
She bent down, wrapped her arms around Hanbin’s neck, and kissed him on the lips without hesitation. While he froze in confusion, not understanding what was happening, Jian’s tongue forced its way between his lips.
“Mmph…!”
Chuuup, haaup. She clung to him like she was trying to devour his lips. Her eyes were gently closed. Beyond her, the gazes of the other passengers. The female students sitting across from them covered their mouths in shock. But Jian didn’t seem to care about anyone else’s eyes as she tangled her tongue with his.
Should he push her away? Or stay still? Hanbin’s hands hovered in the air, unable to decide. Before he could make up his mind, Jian pulled her lips away first. She wiped her glistening mouth with the back of her hand and smiled brightly.
“…Pfft. Why are you spacing out? I’m going. Bye.”
“……”
There wasn’t a trace of shame or embarrassment on her face.
Common Sense Alteration — It is common sense to share a deep kiss when greeting a friend.
With a face that showed she had no idea what she had just done, Jian slipped through the subway doors just before they closed. In the end, Hanbin was left alone to endure the subtle stares from everyone else in the car.