The Heart-to-Heart of a Schemer Who Can't Get a Drink
Bang Ja, the strategist, was receiving the utmost hospitality from the sect leader. Yet despite that lavish treatment, his reputation inside the Salwol-pa was anything but favorable. Of course, part of the blame lay with the former general manager—now demoted—Wang U, who had gone out of his way to invent every insult under the sun. But fundamentally, it was because Bang Ja simply did not mix well with the other sect members.
In the unorthodox path, when men say they’re “bonding,” it usually means whoring and drinking. They don’t engage in those effeminate, righteous-path activities like sipping tea and chatting. True friendship in the unorthodox world is built by boldly enjoying camaraderie in the brothels, pouring liquor down one’s throat, and forging brotherly bonds. And yet, Bang Ja was the kind of man who never once showed up to a midnight drinking party, always keeping his brought-from-home concubine by his side.
As time passed, he could only remain an outsider. But this was no different from the far more advanced future that was Cheong’s homeland. It was the same as skipping the freshman welcome party and eating alone in college, or joining a small company and refusing both company dinners and the auto-hunting blood pact guild. As for megacorporations, who knows—but since people are people everywhere, it was probably similar. So on top of being an outsider, the rumors about Bang Ja, who had even earned resentment, were vicious.
They said he preferred men. That the refined, high-ranking strategist from the Sadoryeon thought himself too good to mingle with the trash of a mere mid-tier unorthodox sect. That every time he opened his mouth, it was clear the Sadoryeon treated the Salwol-pa like dog shit. From Bang Ja’s perspective, it was completely unfair. He felt deeply wronged. He liked women too! He liked alcohol too! But he couldn’t indulge!
Why?
“Rangrang, I’m begging you, just this once. Today I’m going to have one drink with the Salwol-pa leader. Hm? Just one drink.”
It was an absurd sight: a strategist of the Sadoryeon clinging to a female servant and pleading. However, the servant answered with a face utterly devoid of expression—one that gave people goosebumps.
“Impossible.”
“No, why? Huh?”
“Alcohol is the root of all evil. I cannot accept the risk of mistakes or careless speech caused by intoxication.”
“That’s why I said just one drink!”
“You may drink here. Shall I bring the liquor?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. What’s the fun in drinking alone?”
“Shall I pour for you?”
“And besides, this could be considered an extension of my mission. You know that, right? How I’m being kept at arm’s length inside the Salwol-pa. For men to build proper friendship, they need to eat together, grope some women, and get naked with each other. Isn’t that how it works?”
“This level of distance is preferable. If you wish to grope a woman, you may grope me.”
“No, I mean actual whoring around—”
“Do you desire that right now?”
With that, Rangrang abruptly pulled her clothes down. Bang Ja let out a deep sigh, grimaced, and shook his head. Sexual intercourse was supposed to be an act of mutual affection; facing Rangrang’s eerily expressionless face was enough to make any man’s member wilt in despair. Moreover, her skin was icy cold and lacked any elasticity—press it and the mark remained. No matter how desperate a man might be, no one in the world would embrace a woman like this. A woman who wouldn’t even flinch if stabbed with a blade. No, a woman whose expression truly did not change even when stabbed or burned.
“Just one drink, okay? Just one.”
At that, Rangrang lifted her head and stared at the sky. For the first time in a long while, Bang Ja felt a spark of hope. This was the reaction she showed when she fell into her own thoughts.
Bang Ja swallowed hard and waited for her decision. How much time had passed? Rangrang finally looked back at him.
“Very well. Although the probability of error due to intoxication is extremely high, I assess that it may lead to improved camaraderie and interpersonal relationships. However, you must not consume more than one bottle of liquor.”
“Yes, exactly one bottle. Is alcohol even the problem? Like you said, it’s about building connections, right? Don’t worry about a thing—just wait for me.”
Bang Ja’s face lit up like the sun. He hurriedly threw on his outer robe, planning to rush straight to the sect leader and beg him to have a real, proper, no-holds-barred night of fun. He was essentially going to plead to be played with.
Just as he finished adjusting his clothes and was about to dash out, Rangrang grabbed him.
“Wait.”
“What? Why? You know there’s no taking back what’s been said, right? You already said it was fine. If you change your mind now—”
“A message has arrived.”
Bang Ja’s expression changed instantly. His face turned deathly pale, all color draining away. He politely knelt before Rangrang and bowed his head low.
“Reclining crookedly in a chair while fondling a woman’s body. Has that bastard made contact yet? Ah, he has? No, don’t relay that. Ahem. This disciple greets you.”
“This humble disciple pays his respects to the one and only, supremely honored Siksim Magun.”
“While bowing respectfully. This humble disciple pays his respects to the one and only, supremely honored Siksim Magun.”
Rangrang relayed Bang Ja’s actions and dialogue. A moment later, she spoke again.
“While fondling a woman’s breasts. Yes, how far has the great work progressed? Excluding the Geumjeok Room and the Gwangju Line Room, how many blood ghouls are there?”
“With an incredulous expression. Hey, can you stop with the weird stage directions? Are you going to add ‘while pissing himself’ next time he pisses?”
“Exploding in rage. No, fuck, I’m talking to you! This useless monster can’t even deliver a message properly. I should replace you with something more useful—fuck, that bitch Eon Ga is probably off playing with those horse-riding bastards again.”
Bang Ja quietly waited for the words to finish.
“Redirecting his anger for no reason. What? Why aren’t you answering? I asked when the blood ghouls will be completed and how many there will be.”
“There are about twenty. In three days, after they consume ten hearts each, they will be complete, O Great Demon King.”
“Glaring fiercely before shaking his head. I sent five hundred hearts and you only managed twenty? Ha. Never mind. It’s always been that way—if you carelessly touch the wrong passerby, you’re fucked. I won’t blame my disciple.”
“Master’s mercy is as vast as the sea.”
“Snorting with laughter. You little shit, always with the flattery. Enough with the smooth talk. Do your job properly, got it? You know those that have eaten up to ninety hearts become hard to control, right? Don’t get distracted and stay glued to them until they’re finished. That’s it. Cut the connection.”
Only then did Bang Ja slowly raise his head. Rangrang, who had been staring down at him with an expressionless face, dropped a single line.
“Siksim Magun said not to get distracted. And yet you still intend to go enjoy filthy group intercourse accompanied by drinking?”
Even the wording was unnecessarily crude. Bang Ja frowned and spoke.
“Didn’t you say there was no taking back what’s been said?”
“I do not take orders from Siksim Magun. I am merely carrying out my master’s commands by serving as his messenger to Siksim Magun and as a guard for you, who are pathetically weak.”
“Ahem. Pathetically weak, she says.”
Bang Ja grumbled with a scowl. He paused just as he was about to cross the threshold. His master had given him instructions—should he endure for a few more days, or should he go enjoy the lewd banquet that had finally been permitted on his first trip to Gwangju?
But he had held back for far too long. Unable to overcome desire that had surpassed self-control, Bang Ja ultimately stepped over the threshold and disappeared from sight.
Two days after construction on the Jin Family estate was completed, the Murim Alliance’s support unit finally arrived. It was fortunate timing; they had nearly been forced to house guests outside due to the stench of corpses. Thus, the combat unit that had stopped by Nanning in Guangxi Province before heading straight to Gwangju in Guangdong Province entered the newly refurbished Jin Family estate.
After exchanging greetings with the family head, the combat team unpacked their belongings. Cheong was wandering around the guest hall of the Jin estate, wondering if she might spot any familiar faces, when—
“Did you hear what Clan Leader Jin said? Starting tomorrow, our Hwaryong-jo will also be assisting the Jin Family with managing their business properties. I know it’s unfortunate that after such a long journey we don’t even get proper rest before being put straight to work, but isn’t this exactly what the chivalry of the righteous path is all about? Right? Helping each other vigorously in times of need! Then when I’m in need, you’ll all help me just as vigorously, won’t you? That is the very spirit of the Murim Alliance—when you and I become we! Is the Jin Family a stranger to us!?”
“No, sir!”
“That’s right! We of the righteous path are one family! There is no need to nitpick or calculate reasons when helping one another! Isn’t that so!”
“Yes, sir!”
“However! Tonight is free! And what does that mean? It means this big brother is going to treat all you younger brothers until our noses go crooked! Even though we have work tomorrow and will have to purge the intoxication with inner energy, how could we possibly give up on forging deep friendship between men!”
“Brother Jo! Brother Jo! Brother Jo!”
“Tonight we drink at the Jinhae Pavilion until we die!”
“Waaaaah!! Brother Jo! Brother Jo! Brother Jo!”
The hall had turned into a frenzy. The excited young warriors were chanting “Brother Jo” at the top of their lungs. Cheong, who had been peeking around to see if she recognized anyone, looked slightly sour.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. So that’s who it was. Jo Hak-cheo. The grandson of the Murim Alliance Leader, heir to the Black Dragon family, the eldest-brother figure among the current young geniuses, and a manly, bold, and gallant hero. Also known as the guy who was infamous for being completely crazy about women. That very Jo Hak-cheo.
Cheong wondered whether she should greet him or not. But if they were going to the Jinhae Pavilion, she really wanted to tag along.
According to the wanderers who had traveled all over the Murim, Gwangju was an incredibly boring city. There were hardly any famous scenic spots around it. Historically, Gwangju had always been on the very edge of the frontier, and since it hadn’t been developed for very long, it lacked the deep history of older cities. The fact that Han people made up the overwhelming majority of the population was proof enough that they had only migrated here after the Guangdong region was opened up. On top of that, Japanese pirates frequently raided the area, and traveling far out to sea was forbidden by imperial law. So while it was the largest city in the Liangguang region in terms of population and scale, if you asked whether there was anything particularly worth seeing for tourism… well.
If one had to pick a single attraction, it would be the Jinhae Pavilion—the greatest restaurant in Gwangju. However, when the Jin Family’s atmosphere had been poor, Cheong had felt too awkward to visit. Once things improved, it felt even more awkward to go alone unless the Jin Family invited her first. Paying out of her own pocket right after arriving during a celebration would be one thing, but doing so while staying for a long period would look terrible. It would seem as if the Jin Family’s hospitality was lacking and their guest had to seek entertainment elsewhere. Of course, it wasn’t that the Jin Family was treating her poorly—they simply had too few people and were already overwhelmed just managing their business properties, leaving them no time to entertain guests.
So, even though she wanted to go, what could she do? She had money. Why shouldn’t she go? She was practically drowning in gold and silver—why couldn’t she visit the best restaurant in the city?
That was when the support unit from the Murim Alliance burst into cheers about heading straight to the Jinhae Pavilion the moment they arrived. It was hard to ignore.
But Brother Jo was a bit… burdensome.
Just then, Cheong spotted a familiar face chatting with his comrades.
“The Jinhae Pavilion is the greatest restaurant in Gwangju, isn’t it? There must be plenty of beauties there too, right? You’re the one who always says you won’t drink unless a woman is present, aren’t you, Master of the Intoxicated Demon-Slaying Sword?”
“Indeed. After all, liquor only tastes truly good when a woman’s delicate jade hands respectfully pour it for you. Today, this Daoist shall—”
“Well, if it isn’t Changbin!”
At the cheerful voice filled with delight, all the young warriors of the support unit turned their heads at once. Amid the sharp intakes of breath, the whispers of “Heavenly Flower Sword” and “Lady Seomun,” Cheong strode forward confidently and clapped a hand on Changbin’s shoulder.
“Uh… Lady Seomun? Um… Hello…?”
Changbin turned his entire body stiffly, like a puppet being manipulated by a child.
“Wow, look at you getting all awkward again just because we haven’t seen each other for a while. I told you to be comfortable. Comfortable.”
“Ah, um. This is… comfortable…”
“Doesn’t look comfortable at all.”
“No… It is. Um. Have you… been well?”
“Of course. I’m always doing great.”
Cheong giggled and poked Changbin’s side with her elbow.
“What’s with you guys? Didn’t the Gyerim Sword Sect already tell you that Lady Seomun is staying at the Jin estate? How rustic—urk. Master of the Intoxicated Demon-Slaying Sword, you dare act familiar with the Heavenly Flower—”
Jo Hak-cheo ground his teeth. At that sound, Cheong thought, Yep, still the same as ever.