The Civil Engineering Fairy Cleans House
When Mom went to the island shade to slit some throats, the Changryong Trading House always seemed to sprout rare goods from overseas out of nowhere. No one had ever actually seen them properly set out on a trading voyage, yet it kept happening. Truly a mysterious affair.
Officially, they claimed it was because they conducted extremely secretive and mystical trade routes. Of course, there wasn’t a single person in Gwangju who didn’t know that the true identity of this “mystery” was jamsang—smuggling across the sea in blatant disregard of imperial law. Still, Cheong had never been the type to foam at the mouth and scream about execution for violating national laws (though whether dogs should be consulted on that matter was debatable). She had never shown any particular loyalty to the country.
What she couldn’t forgive was that the main cargo consisted of free laborers who had been coerced—or worse, enthusiastic—rowers. They used slaves as both propulsion and merchandise to cross the sea. And if any of them died along the way? That day became a special occasion for meat dishes. Commodities, propulsion, labor, and food all in one. It was such an innovative model of efficiency that even the big-nosed Westerners would have to tip their hats in respect. Or perhaps it was better described as regressing from division of labor into extreme specialization.
“Great Hero, I’m fine, so please, at least spare my children! I beg you…!”
“Father! No, I’ll pay for the sin instead!”
“Please, Great Hero! This is all due to my own shortcomings, so take my life and grant us your forgiveness!”
The family members stepping forward one after another, each volunteering to sacrifice themselves—it was a heartwarming scene one would never expect to see in the Evil Faction.
Cheong beamed, though the smile was hidden behind a layer of cloth anyway.
“Wow, just look at this uncle. Hey, who said anything about killing anyone? Uimae, did you hear what this old man just said? Who does he think we are, some evil murderers?”
“Right. So mean. Even if Uimae likes killing people, she’s such a kind-hearted murderer.”
“I’m so sad. But Uncle, you seem to know how precious your own family is—why did you kidnap and sell everyone else’s families? Is your family family, but other people’s families are just livestock?”
“I deserve to die, please…!”
“Well, I’ll let you live. Oh, Uimae, do you know that story? About the blind man and the cripple helping each other on a journey. The cripple carries the blind man on his back while the blind man guides the way—wait, I think I got it backwards. Anyway.”
“I don’t know! First time hearing it!”
“So it’s about two people filling in each other’s shortcomings. With family bonds this strong, even if we leave each of you with just one arm and one leg, you should be able to rely on each other and get by, right?”
And so the entire family ended up with their limbs neatly broken and sprawled across the floor in perfect harmony. They had left at least one functional left arm and left leg per person. With ten family members, that meant four left arms (one was left-handed) and five left legs. In any case, since Cheong stood up and left without touching them further, the broken-limbed family showed faint signs of relief even through their agony.
At least until Cheong flung open the sliding door and saw the yard packed full of commodities, propulsion units, laborers, and emergency rations.
“Alright everyone, have a wonderful time.”
When Cheong waved, Uimae waved along with her. The commodities, who had been crammed so tightly in the narrow warehouse that they couldn’t even lie down, began trudging with filthy feet into the main hall.
Cheong stepped out the front gate and hung the signboard back in its proper place. The blood-drenched plaque of the Changryong Trading House dangled precariously from one corner.
Unlike the openly smuggling Changryong Trading House, the Oga Shipbuilding Guild was an exemplary organization with an extremely strict sense of legal compliance. According to imperial law, building ships without official permission—known as secret shipbuilding—was strictly prohibited and punishable by extreme penalties. Therefore, the Oga Shipbuilding Guild took the lead in eliminating the heinous criminals who dared to secretly construct vessels in violation of the law.
Of course, the law also stated that commoners must never kill other commoners under any circumstances. So the law-abiding Oga Shipbuilding Guild never broke that rule. They simply beat the offenders half to death, displayed their miserable state throughout the city, then handed them over to other smugglers within the Gwangju Shipbuilding Association in exchange for a modest service fee.
They absolutely did not sell them. Since slave trading was illegal, they weren’t selling anyone—they were merely receiving a modest service fee as compensation for upholding the law.
How could the authorities not adore such an outstanding model workshop?
Which was exactly why, the moment the signboard was removed and they entered, the constables who had been hiding inside thrust their slender tridents at Cheong in unison.
“Halt! How dare you cause a disturbance in broad daylight when the law is supreme!”
Cheong stopped and muttered loudly while studying the face of the esteemed official.
“What should I do? I need to kill them all so it doesn’t get out. It’ll be annoying if even one escapes.”
“Hmm. Should I block the gate then?”
“No need. Do they even know our faces? Or our names? If one or two get away, we can just quit the shaman business and leave town. No big deal.”
“Wow, you’re right. Uimae always thinks things through.”
At the blatant threat, some color drained from the official’s face. Cheong, pretending no one had overheard her soliloquy, shamelessly stepped forward.
“Excuse me, good sir. Who might you be to block the path of this shaman?”
One of the lackeys immediately flared up and shouted.
“This person is the Vice Commissioner of the Gwangju Judicial Inspectorate! Kneel and show proper respect at once!”
“Ah. Vice Commissioner, sir. But do you not know who I am? I am the Tomok Seonnyeo. I came because this house is infested with evil spirits, yet how is it that a living person has entered a house where demons dwell?”
The Vice Commissioner cleared his throat and spoke in a deliberately solemn voice.
“Ahem. The ancient sage said a gentleman should avoid ghosts and monsters. Cease that wicked tongue of yours and leave at once.”
“My, my. You really can’t tell heaven from earth. The owner of this house provoked a great evil spirit. Don’t you know that if you carelessly take their side, the disaster might reach you as well?”
The great evil spirit clicked her tongue and continued.
“It’s a terrible curse that causes people to die horribly at night. Let me see… I should do some divination with my spiritual powers. My divination fee isn’t cheap, so consider yourself lucky. What is the Vice Commissioner’s name, where do you live, and do you happen to have any especially precious children? I mean, children so precious that if they died, you’d regret it for the rest of your life and suffer from chronic heartache?”
What the official heard was this: Where do you live? Should I kill you, or should I kill your precious child?
And since that was exactly what Cheong had said, one could say he heard it perfectly.
“I tried to drive out the evil spirit, but since the Vice Commissioner blocked me, if a string of family deaths occurs soon, that has nothing to do with me. I already gave you a warning, so don’t regret it when the time comes. Whether or not you offer sacrifices at the shrine of the late sage so that he may protect you from ghosts and monsters is entirely up to you.”
Cheong turned around as she spoke.
“Uimae, do you happen to know where the Vice Commissioner lives?”
“I don’t.”
“Whatever. We can just grab any random person in Gwangju and ask. I should write some curse talismans to put at his house so he has a proper funeral.”
At that, the Vice Commissioner hurriedly grabbed Cheong’s sleeve.
“Ahem. So… you came to exorcise the evil spirit, you say.”
“Oh? Are you finally feeling a chill now that the evil spirit’s cold has reached you?”
Cheong gave a mocking laugh and turned back.
“Ghosts don’t care about government offices or the martial world. Unlike officials and Murim people who pretend not to see anything, they just commit atrocities if things go wrong. Do you understand what I’m saying, Vice Commissioner?”
Don’t you know about non-interference between officials and martial artists? Mind your own business and get lost.
“Although the ancient sage said a gentleman should avoid ghosts and monsters, he also said one should not let innocent commoners suffer because of the supernatural. I don’t know much about shamanic affairs, but if it brings comfort to the common people, wouldn’t that be a good thing? So please handle it well.”
I understand. I’ll get lost. Please show some mercy.
“Since the Vice Commissioner is staying awake, I’ll do my best to prevent any disaster from reaching your side. Aren’t you grateful?”
I’ll let it slide this once. Don’t interfere.
“Ahem. Thank you.”
Thank you.
“Right, let’s go!”
With an expression of utter disgust, the Vice Commissioner waved off the constables and began walking away. One might say it was rather undignified to flee like this, but the advice seniors always gave was that one should never engage with crazy people—or in this case, crazy women. Intimidation only worked if the other party at least pretended to fear the authorities. If someone charged in with the attitude of “you die, I die,” it was never the officials who ended up bleeding. The principle of non-interference between officials and martial artists was, after all, nothing more than an excuse for the officials’ benefit.
“My lord!? If you leave like this—My lord! Your Honor!”
The lackey apparently wasn’t part of the government office. He clung desperately to the Vice Commissioner’s sleeve, but with a sharp “Let go!” the man was thrown off. Since he had learned some martial arts, he wasn’t sent flying by the mere gesture of a bookish civil servant who only knew how to read classics. And so the back-and-forth of “Let go,” “You mustn’t,” “Let go,” “If you accept the sincerity and then act like this, it will cause problems…” continued until the Vice Commissioner, who desperately wanted to escape this unlucky situation as quickly as possible, finally exploded.
“You insolent bastard! Who are you trying to frame?! Come here—do you wish to become traitors before the evil spirit even arrives?!”
Only then did the lackey fall away. In the now-empty hall where all the constables had left, the man stood there dejectedly with slumped shoulders. Then suddenly he looked at Cheong and flashed a sly smile.
“Hehe, Fairy-nim. I’ve heard rumors of your divine powers and have admired you for a long time. If this lowly one may ask you anything, please feel free to inquire. Hehe…”
She had thought he was a man of strict legal principles, but apparently not. He specialized in secretly drilling holes in commoners’ boats at night to sink them. When ships came in for repairs, he would drag out the work indefinitely to seize them. And when the rumors spread and no one brought ships for repair anymore, he would bribe officials to forcibly conduct “inspections” and simply take the vessels without returning them. One had to wonder whether these were shipbuilders or ship-thieving robbers. Their methods were truly astonishing.
Cheong shook her head and said,
“Uimae. Close the gate and bolt it.”
And so the gates of the Oga Shipbuilding Guild were firmly locked.
Abang Cheongchulho.
An abang was the headquarters where the captain and crew of a large vessel stayed. According to an anonymous public interest informant—anonymous because she hadn’t asked for his name before killing him, and a public interest informant because he had provided information for the public good before dying—the Cheongchulho was a pirate ship.
Bandits were all trash. They all had to die. Pirates were also all trash. They all had to die.
Pirates didn’t build grand manors. They seemed to have renovated an inn instead. The guest rooms were used as their personal quarters, and the first floor—ugh, the smell.
The moment Cheong burst through the door of the abang, she immediately scrunched up her face. The smoke of burning opium, burning hemp, and burning tobacco mixed together to create a thick fog. On top of that already terrible atmosphere, the sour stench of cheap liquor and the unique stale odor of men combined to make even Cheong, with her strong stomach, feel like something was caught in her throat. Nausea rose up in waves.
The noisy hall that had been buzzing with the sudden appearance of a veiled woman fell silent in an instant. Just as someone was about to open their mouth, Cheong cut them off by raising her hammer.
“Attention please. Sparkle sparkle. I’m just here to take care of some business and leave, so keep your eyes down, you bastards.”
The pirates lowered their gazes at the sparkling sword qi.
“Sparkle sparkle~”
From behind, Uimae cutely added sound effects. Cheong let out a small laugh. Her face had become that of the greatest seductress in the world, with charm practically dripping and overflowing, yet she kept acting cute. Of course, to the pirates, she was anything but cute. No one could consider a minimum Transcendent expert who could manifest sword qi in her bare hands as “cute.”
However, Cheong still didn’t know Uimae’s true realm, so she had no idea that Uimae wasn’t just saying it but was actually emitting sparkling sword qi.
Cheong’s veiled face slowly scanned the room. The pirates who couldn’t grasp the situation simply thought that someone must have provoked the wrong person, and that she had come all the way here to settle scores. They decided it would be best not to die together and stayed perfectly still with their eyes lowered. Extremely still.
But Cheong wasn’t looking for a specific person.
Finally locating her target, she crossed the hazy room with the soft rustle of her clothes. Then the hammer rose high—whoosh! The sound of a mass of iron flying through the air, followed by a tremendous crash! One of the pillars exploded spectacularly, sending wooden shards flying everywhere.
Cheong moved on without pause. Whoosh! Crash! Another pillar shattered. Then she headed for the entrance, destroyed the pillar nearest to the door as well, rested the hammer on her shoulder, and spoke.
“Whew. All done. Let’s go.”
“Huh? Already? You’re not going to kill them?”
“Ugh, the smell is so bad I can’t stand it anymore. Let’s go.”
Cheong linked arms with Uimae, who tilted her head in adorable confusion. Since Cheong had approached first and taken her arm, Gyeon Po-hui didn’t care what was happening and simply felt happy, letting out a silly “hehe” laugh.
As the two stepped outside, a sinister creeeak of twisting wood followed them like a protest asking why they were leaving it behind. Soon came the sharp crack of splitting timber. The ground was perfectly stable, yet the abang building began to tremble violently as if struck by an earthquake.
Cheong was a carpenter. Just by looking at the interior, she could roughly tell which beams bore what loads. She knew which pillars, if destroyed, would cause the house to collapse.
“Whoa…!”
The pirates finally realized what was happening and rushed out in panic, but the one in front was sent flying back into the sky for some reason, causing the rest to tumble over each other in a heap.
In the eyes of the fallen pirates, the ceiling was twisting and crumbling, sending clouds of dust into the air. And then—
Boom.
The majestic sound of multiple lightning strikes hitting nearby echoed through the air.