Let's Have Some Fun
Bo-yeol of the Sasa-ui could not understand what was happening. The atmosphere around him felt far from normal. Every warrior in sight wore a grave expression as they meticulously tended to their weapons. It was truly a shocking sight. Why were these bastards suddenly acting like proper martial artists all of a sudden?
To the warriors of the Unorthodox Path, a weapon was something that only got a single proper cleaning once rust had thoroughly set in. Bo-yeol had never understood why they bothered carrying such heavy lumps of iron at their waists in the first place. Yet here they all were, sharpening and polishing their blades. Naturally, it made him suspicious.
Bo-yeol singled out one of them. “Hey, you. What are you doing right now?”
“Preparing for war.”
Bo-yeol was dumbfounded. “War? What war? Are you planning to storm the Nanning Sword Sect? With a prince there? You all want to die together?”
“Not the Nanning Sword Sect. It’s the Jangsan Martial Hall. I heard they’re a small Orthodox faction.”
At that, Bo-yeol’s face crumpled into a deep scowl. As a high expert of the Sadoryeon, why did he have to learn about a war from some low-ranking grunt?
Bo-yeol stormed toward the highest-class guest hall in Yanfang, stomping the ground with every furious step. Creak—BANG! He flung the door open so violently it nearly shattered, openly displaying his foul mood.
It might have seemed childish, but people tend to regress into childishness as they age.
“Has the Sasa-ui arrived?”
The tea room was already packed with the three Danju, their vice leaders, and the squad leaders. It looked like they had been holding a strategy meeting without him.
“What the hell is this? You’re attacking the Jangsan Martial Hall? And why wasn’t this old man informed at all?”
Mun Jeong-yeok answered calmly. “You said you had your own matters to attend to, Elder. We were concerned it might interfere with your work, so we didn’t mention it.”
“Does that even make sense?! I’m the greatest fighting force in this expedition, and you’re starting a war without me?!”
“Hmm. Now that I hear it, my judgment was indeed shortsighted. I apologize.” Mun Jeong-yeok bowed his head.
“Hmph.”
Bo-yeol snorted, but his anger had clearly subsided somewhat.
“Fine. Let me hear this plan of yours. How exactly were you planning to win without me?”
“Please, sit here. Pilpae Byeongbeop, what are you doing? The Elder has arrived—make room for him.”
Jo Gwang-ang made a face like he had bitten into a sour persimmon and glanced sideways. The vice leader beside him looked over, then the squad leader next to him, and so on, until the message finally reached the youngest squad leader at the very end. The boy stood up and moved to stand behind the others. Then, one by one, they all scooted their butts over with heavy thumps until the seat of honor was finally vacant.
They couldn’t have moved faster? Just shuffling their asses around like that. Bo-yeol clicked his tongue in disapproval and promptly claimed the head seat.
Then, the Baek-ung-dan executives smoothly slid the teacups in front of them to the side. Bo-yeol’s lips jutted out like a duck’s bill.
“Do only you people get to drink?”
“It’s not tea, it’s chicken organ wine. Will that be alright?”
“Why the hell is it chicken organ wine? What’s so great about that barbarian swill that you’re all sitting here gulping it down?”
Chicken organ wine was a local specialty of Guangxi Province, a traditional liquor of the Zhuang barbarians. The liver, heart, and intestines of a chicken were boiled thoroughly, finely chopped, placed in a cup, and then liquor was poured over them. It was the very definition of a crude, uncivilized barbarian custom—alcohol, organs, and snacks all in one.
“The liquor itself is so bland that we have to do this to make it drinkable. Would you prefer pig liver wine instead?”
Pig liver wine was the same thing, except the chicken organs were replaced with raw pig liver.
“Chicken organ wine is better. Pour me a cup.”
“Do you know how to drink it properly?”
“I’ve lived this long. Of course I know.”
Some people just had to phrase things in the most irritating way possible. The Zhuang style of “snack-included” liquor required one to down the entire cup in one go. You swallowed the alcohol but left the solid bits in your mouth to chew slowly as a snack.
Mun Jeong-yeok poured liquor into a cup already pre-filled with chopped chicken organs and offered it to him. When Bo-yeol accepted it, the liquor that had steeped in the boiled organs looked murky and unappealing. Still, the general consensus was that it tasted surprisingly decent. Especially among heavy drinkers, the combination of liquor flavor with the chewy texture of chicken organs was said to be exquisite.
Bo-yeol boldly emptied the cup in one gulp and began chewing the remaining organs with gusto. The liquor itself was nothing special, but the organs had a savory, pleasant taste.
Mun Jeong-yeok, who had been watching him closely, suddenly spoke up. “By the way, Elder. I heard an interesting story. They say you’ve been meeting with the Cheonhwa-geom in the middle of the night?”
“Cough!”
Bo-yeol spat out the half-chewed organs.
“You know the laws of the Unorthodox Path, don’t you? Betrayal is never forgiven.”
At that, the executives of all three combat units sprang to their feet and drew their weapons in perfect unison. They had clearly been waiting for this moment.
“Hmph! You bastards, what would you even know—”
Bo-yeol, who had nothing to feel guilty about, began to snort dismissively—only for his complexion to change drastically as he roared, “You bastards! You put poison in the drink!”
“For someone who supposedly masters poison arts, that was quite careless. Why would we have any reason to drink some barbarian swill?”
Bo-yeol’s face turned deathly pale. He had assumed the cheap liquor steeped in boiled organs simply tasted bad. But the poison had already spread through the organs, scattering the qi in his dantian. It was a qi-dispersing poison. They must have loaded an incredible amount into that single cup—and he had swallowed it all in one go.
“Wait, no. This isn’t what you think. Betrayal? What glory would an old man like me gain by betraying now? Right? Don’t you think?”
“Then how did you come to meet the Cheonhwa-geom?”
“Didn’t I say I had something interesting going on? The Cheonhwa-geom was exactly that interesting thing. The venomous snake I planted among the Gyerim bastards is none other than the Cheonhwa-geom.”
Mun Jeong-yeok burst into giggles. The laughter spread, and soon everyone in the tea room was cackling with vile mockery.
“You call that an excuse? Why on earth would the Cheonhwa-geom listen to the words of an old demonic head? What, does she happen to be your hidden daughter or something?”
It was the kind of story even a dog wouldn’t believe. Especially coming from someone cornered like this. People in desperate situations tended to spout any nonsense that came to mind. And look at him now—spouting complete nonsense.
“No! That girl—I only caught her weakness and blackmailed her—”
“For blackmail, it sounded quite warm and friendly from what I heard. Since when do people being blackmailed get put up in the highest-class guest room and served the finest tea with utmost care?”
Bo-yeol’s heart sank. These bastards were tailing me!
To outsiders who didn’t know the situation, it might have looked that way. It had indeed been rather amicable. But Bo-yeol hadn’t received such treatment for nothing; he had his reasons for not ruining the pleasant atmosphere.
“Just listen to me. It wasn’t exactly blackmail. More like… a cooperative relationship. It wasn’t some one-sided, hostile affair.”
“Cooperation, you say. Cooperation requires mutual benefit, doesn’t it? What possible benefit would the Cheonhwa-geom gain from helping drive the Orthodox factions out of Nanning?”
The qi-dispersing poison was circulating through his dantian, steadily emptying it. Just how much poison had they used?! Bo-yeol cursed himself for not noticing it immediately despite drinking it all, then shouted desperately.
“Hyeolgyo!”
Hyeolgyo. Just two syllables, yet the weight they carried was immense. The atmosphere in the tea room instantly grew heavy. Mun Jeong-yeok stopped laughing and asked, “Hyeolgyo? What are you talking about? Why are those worthless bastards suddenly being brought up?”
Even to the Unorthodox Path, the Hyeolgyo were worthless scum. They were the ones who rampaged as if they wanted the world to end. The Sadoryeon sought to establish dominance so they could live well and prosper—not because they wished for the world’s destruction.
“The Cheonhwa-geom is a witch of the Hyeolgyo! So if the Orthodox factions are destroyed in Nanning, it would be a welcome development for her as well.”
An absolutely shocking revelation! The Cheonhwa-geom was actually a witch of the Hyeolgyo!
After the bombshell declaration, silence fell over the tea room—until—
“Pfft.”
Jo Gwang-ang couldn’t hold it in and burst out laughing. Then everyone else exploded with laughter, clutching their stomachs.
“Elder, heh, if you’re going to lie, at least—khk—make it somewhat believable…”
Mun Jeong-yeok sounded like he was nearly crying from laughter.
“It’s true!”
The wronged Bo-yeol shouted. Jo Gwang-ang sneered in response.
“The old man must have gone senile. What an earth-shattering, heaven-moving truth this is. I feel as if my eyes have been opened to a whole new world.”
“It’s true! That girl is the Sosu Witch!”
Mun Jeong-yeok also sneered. “The successor of the Yeorae Shinjang is the Sosu Witch? So does that make her the Sosu Yeorae or something? Oh, that actually sounds plausible, doesn’t it?”
“No! It’s true! I’m telling you it’s true!”
Bo-yeol pounded his own chest. Thump! Thump! The poor old man’s ribcage was probably bruising.
“It’s real! It’s true, so why won’t you believe me! It’s true! It’s really true! That girl is the Sosu Witch! She really is the Sosu Witch!”
“Why don’t you just say she mastered all of the Ten Great Demonic Arts while you’re at it? One hand white, one hand black, with Jajeon Magong crackling like lightning, and the Samsara Wheel spinning in her eyes?”
If Cheong had been present, she would have suggested that these people open a fortune-telling shop together with the Wudang Sect Leader. Their accuracy was astonishing.
“It’s true! And the Black Killing Demonic Palm and Purple Lightning Magic belong to the Demonic Cult! They have nothing to do with the Hyeolgyo!”
“Who knows? She might be a Hyeolgyo spy embedded in the Orthodox Path who is actually a double agent for the Demonic Cult.”
“It’s true! I have proof!”
“Proof? Did the Cheonhwa-geom confess or something? How naïve, old man.”
“That third bastard over there!” Bo-yeol shouted desperately. “He got slapped with the Sosu Magong! His cheek turned pitch black with the cold poison! Take him to an expert of the Lyeon! They’ll immediately recognize the vicious scar left by the Sosu Magong!”
“That third guy recovered ages ago. What scar are you talking about? If he had truly been hit with the Sosu cold poison, wouldn’t his flesh have rotted and fallen off?”
Bo-yeol froze. “Huh? Why? Why did it heal? Why did it heal?”
That was because the Sosu Magong practiced with Daoist true qi was not nearly as vicious.
“Why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you be the one explaining that?”
Bo-yeol regretted everything. He should have run the moment he sensed the qi-dispersing poison. Instead, he had stayed to try and persuade them, and now he couldn’t even flee.
“The Lyeonju will pass judgment, so you will have to spend some time in prison. We will burn the qi-dispersing incense, so if you try anything funny—”
“The incense is a waste. Why not just destroy his dantian? We only need to keep him alive long enough to bring him back, right?”
Bo-yeol’s face turned deathly pale. But Mun Jeong-yeok shook his head.
“Stop only reading losing strategies and learn some common sense. If you destroy the dantian of an old man who practices poison arts, do you really think he’ll survive? Am I wrong?”
At Mun Jeong-yeok’s words while tapping his own head, Jo Gwang-ang’s face instantly flushed bright red. Mun Jeong-yeok smiled with deep satisfaction and looked back at the Sasa-ui.
“Judgment on a traitor is for the Lyeonju to decide, but if you attempt to flee, immediate execution won’t result in too severe a punishment. You know that, right?”
Bo-yeol collapsed to the floor with a thud.
“It’s true… it really is true. Ha, how can this be so frustrating? It’s not like this is the first time a Hyeolgyo spy has appeared among the Orthodox Path. Even the daughter of one of the Ten Great Families turned out to be a Hyeolgyo pawn.”
“You can tell the Lyeonju the exact same thing. He will make the judgment.”
A poisonous glint appeared in Bo-yeol’s eyes.
“Fine. I’ll tell the Lyeonju everything. I’ll make sure to explain in detail just how stupidly you all let this opportunity slip away.”
Mun Jeong-yeok shrugged. “Even if the Elder is right, what difference would it make?”
“What?”
“If what you say is true, then you’ve been in contact with the evil spawn of the Hyeolgyo. If I were you, I’d rather claim you were in contact with the Orthodox Path. That would be much better.”
Oh no.
Bo-yeol’s complexion turned from pale to a sickly, deathly blue.