You Have to Take Responsibility
A rogue has a rogue’s code of honor. When a chest that still carried fading bruises was grabbed and squeezed again, a scream was inevitable. Because it hadn’t fully healed, the pain was far worse than last time.
Moyong Juhee’s voice came out thick and submerged, as if she were underwater, yet she still managed to growl. “Thanks for saving me. But when I think about what you did, I… I absolutely, absolutely cannot forgive you. You horrible bitch. Monster. You’re a monster.”
“Ack, hand—your hand!”
Cheong whined, grabbing Moyong Juhee’s wrist as the girl crushed her chest. She tried to pry the fingers off with force, but when she peeled one finger away with both hands, the other hand simply took its place and squeezed harder.
“It hurts! It hurts, I said! It really hurts!”
“So you do know what pain feels like, huh?”
“Just let go—”
Squeeze.
“Ugh!”
When pain is real, the scream doesn’t come out loud. Lightning struck inside Cheong’s skull. As Cheong made choked, broken noises—keuk, euk, agh—Moyong Juhee smiled through a steady stream of tears.
“Yes, exactly like this. In the end, it’s nothing but a weakness. Ha! You really can’t handle it. This, this— I don’t need it anymore.”
“Let go, let go, please, it really hurts—urgh!”
At this point even Cheong’s temper flared. The girl was even using her inner energy. She was seriously trying to crush her.
So Cheong had no choice but to use her last resort. She clamped down hard on Moyong Juhee’s wrist. It was a grip that could crumple steel.
“Kyaaaagh!”
A shrill scream burst out as Moyong Juhee’s hand fell away powerlessly. The girl clutched her captured wrist and shrieked.
“Do I look like a joke to you?! Did you think I’d just tremble and act like a pathetic idiot if you bared your teeth?! What is it? Yeah! I’m the stupid bitch who got caught like an idiot and had her teeth ripped out! If any of that fits, go ahead and use it! I had finally managed to forget—!”
Oh.
Strength slowly drained from Cheong’s hand. She had given the gift without much thought, purely out of goodwill. Only now did she realize she had not only touched the wound engraved in the girl’s mind—she had ripped it open and poured salt into it.
“I-I’m sorry. That was never my intention. I only wanted it to be some comfort for you.”
“Comfort?! How is that supposed to be comfort?! From the start, you’re strange! You—every time I close my eyes, what you made me do is still so clear—ugh.”
Moyong Juhee couldn’t continue. Nausea surged up her throat and she covered her mouth. Even now, if she simply closed her eyes, the memory was vivid.
The sensation of slicing living flesh and severing muscle. The merciless strength that forced her hand, the terrible screams of the dying person she had been made to crush. That horrific sound caught between sobbing and shrieking. And the moment breath finally stopped—the touch of death that flooded in, as if a thin thread had snapped, dropping like a discarded ornament.
“Why… why did you do that? That was something you shouldn’t have done. No matter how evil they were, I… I shouldn’t have done that. Right? Why? Why did I— And do you know what’s even worse?!”
Pain makes people sick. Moyong Juhee was very, very sick.
Cheong’s prescription had been revenge. If it hadn’t been so extreme, it might have actually helped. But Cheong had been in one of her rare bloodthirsty moods. In front of evil, even the Buddha’s teachings did not stop the Heavenly Killing Intent. After all, martial arts existed to harm others; the Buddha statue that embraced the world’s killing karma to save the world was not one of mercy but of slaughter.
Yet Cheong could only tilt her head in confusion. What? What was wrong? What was the problem with torturing and killing the Blood Sect bastards? Why was that not allowed? They had deserved every bit of suffering.
“Miss Moyong. Those men obviously had to suffer. Unlike you, who were innocent. You had done nothing wrong, but the Blood Sect scum were different.”
“What are you talking about? Why does it have to be like that?”
“If I thought simply cutting off their breath and sending them to hellfire to pay for their sins was enough, I would have done it that way. But that’s not the case, is it? Death is nothing but an irresponsible ending.”
Moyong Juhee’s body trembled violently. To her, it had simply been a nightmare.
“You—you enjoyed it! There was a bad guy, so you decided it was fine to be cruel. You grinned while you tore people apart! Don’t give me that nonsense about paying for sins!”
Cheong scratched her cheek. “Hmm. I still don’t understand what the problem is. So if I had cried and forced myself to give them pain, that would have been fine? Even then the result is the same. Men who deserved to suffer suffered and died. Does the fact that I took some personal enjoyment from the process make it wrong?”
Moyong Juhee looked at Cheong as if she were the most horrifying thing in the world.
“You… you are a monster. A blood-crazed murderer.”
“I won’t deny the murderer part. But calling me a monster seems a bit harsh, doesn’t it? I have never once done anything I wasn’t proud of—haaa. Never mind.”
Cheong let out a deep sigh. The girl was mentally ill. There was no point trying to have a rational conversation. Was this the famous “hostage identifies with captor” thing? Or maybe she was in so much pain that she projected onto anyone else who suffered.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would hurt this much. I never meant for the teeth to cause this. I’m sorry. Well… rest now.”
Having said that, Cheong stood up. If the girl hated it that much, there was nothing she could do. The only loss Cheong had suffered was a sore chest anyway. She wasn’t exactly close with Jun or the matriarch, so this was probably for the best.
That was when it happened.
“W-wait!” Moyong Juhee cried out desperately.
“What is it?”
“Where… where are you going?”
“You seem to be in more pain when I’m here. And I won’t be visiting again, so don’t worry and just rest—”
“Wait. Just wait a moment.”
“Do you have something to say…?”
“It’s not that, it’s just…”
“Then I’ll be going. I don’t want to make you more anxious by staying.”
“Wait! That’s not it!”
Moyong Juhee suddenly grabbed Cheong’s wrist. Cheong looked down, wondering if the girl was going to try squeezing her wrist this time, but a tiny, clear voice like a mosquito’s buzz leaked out from Moyong Juhee, whose head was bowed low.
“……Stay with me a little longer.”
“Pardon?”
“It’s because of you! Yes, because of you! The horrible memories came back because of you, so you at least have to stay by my side right now. I… I can’t be alone right now. It’s your fault, so take responsibility. Yes, you have to take responsibility. Stay next to me.”
A faint trembling traveled through the wrist Moyong Juhee held. Cheong answered with a sour expression.
“Won’t the memories keep coming back if I’m here? Hmm. I’ll call Nan-a for you—”
“I said it’s because of you! So you have to be the one next to me. No one else will do. Stay by my side. Just until I fall asleep.”
“But if I stay, you’ll keep thinking about it. And weren’t you supposed to hate me?”
“I don’t!” Moyong Juhee’s expression changed as she began to beg. “It’s not hate. It’s just… a little, just a tiny bit horrifying. I don’t hate you. How could I hate you? It’s just that when I see you, that time keeps coming back. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. But you did that to me. I didn’t want to kill people like that, but you! You—!”
“Miss Moyong?”
“No no no. I’m fine. Sorry. I’m sorry. Did I say something too harsh? I didn’t mean it. Don’t leave me alone. Please, please, I’m begging you like this……”
Ah. The girl was having a panic attack.
Cheong swallowed another rising sigh and sat down on the edge of Moyong Juhee’s bed. Only then did the trembling traveling through her wrist slowly subside. Before long, the sound of breathing grew deeper and heavier.
On the vast bed of the highest-class room, the space Moyong Juhee occupied was only a small curled-up ball. Cheong looked down at the girl who was still sleeping in a crumpled position as if trapped inside a box and thought,
This feels like I’ve somehow turned into a panic button.
Come to think of it, teaching real anatomy to a beginner had probably been too early. She would normally just say “it hurts” and let it go, but at this rate the girl was going to be incredibly, annoyingly clingy. So she should probably stop showing her face for a while.
—Or so she thought.
“What the hell is that? Why is she acting like that?”
Dang Nan-a’s eyes narrowed. At the end of her gaze was Moyong Juhee, hugging her knees with her head buried between them.
She had limped all the way to the training ground on her still-injured legs, only to snap at them not to act friendly if they greeted her, then sit far away by herself, looking utterly miserable with her head down.
“I don’t know either. Seems like the Blood Sect really messed her up. Her mind looked pretty broken.”
“No, the picture looks all wrong. It’s like we’re the ones bullying and ostracizing her.”
“I wouldn’t know what’s going on inside her head……”
Ever since the day after the sick visit, she had been like this. It was already the third day. She would sit in the corner of the training ground with her head down, and when they felt bad leaving her out during meals and invited her to eat with them, she would tell them not to act friendly again.
It was uncomfortable to completely ignore someone sitting there looking so pitiful, but they had no idea why she was doing it. After a somewhat awkward spectator had been attending the Half-Sword Twin-Saber Association’s training sessions regularly, the days had somehow passed and the semifinals of the martial tournament were now tomorrow.
That was also the night Cheon Yuhak returned.
“Aigo, my disciple is so sloppy that her master has to suffer. Aigo, you brat, come massage my shoulders. Aigo, they’re so stiff.”
“What do you mean, suddenly disappearing like that?”
Even while grumbling, Cheong diligently dug her thumbs into his shoulders.
“Such skillful hands. Maybe this is why people raise disciples. Heh heh heh.”
“And what’s with charging extra for the message? Five taels of silver just to deliver ten words?”
“You silly girl. If I give money first, would they actually deliver it? Only after they deliver it and then get paid will they go straight there without running off somewhere else. And five taels of silver is what it takes to make their eyes bulge so they’ll hurry.”
“Hmm.”
When she thought about it, he had a point. Since it had been a message telling her not to worry, it felt awkward to complain about five taels. So Cheong simply changed the subject.
“So what were you doing? Suddenly disappearing for ten whole days.”
“Heh heh heh. There’s a human head in that box over there, so don’t be surprised. It belongs to none other than the Blood Wheel Demon, a great devil of the Blood Sect.”
“Huh? Why is he here?”
“You dense child. You all rushed in and attacked, but you didn’t even notice when he escaped through the roof? I don’t know much about the Gu poison, but when catching the one who controls it you have to do it far, far away. So I chased him all the way to Henan Province, killed him, and came back.”
“Wow, you went really far.”
“Here. Now deliver this to those wanderers and tell them the Gu poison inside them can be removed. Say that the real Divine Thief appeared and stole the head for them.”
“Um, Master. The Gu poison issue has already been completely resolved. You’re very late.”
“What? I caught the Blood Wheel Demon myself?”
“I took care of the rest. The Gu has all been removed too.”
Cheong briefly explained everything that had happened while Cheon Yuhak was gone.
“What? Then I suffered for nothing? I chased that bastard all the way……”
“Aww, it wasn’t for nothing. Still, you’re amazing. Didn’t you say the Blood Wheel Demon was a Harmonious Realm expert? You fought him one-on-one?”
“Listen. So what happened was……”
Cheon Yuhak proudly began telling his story. It was a very grand after-the-fact report, but thanks to it, everything had been neatly wrapped up.
And at that very moment, Seomun Su-rin was once again experiencing the sensation of her disbelief flying away.
“These people. Last time I let it slide because they claimed they didn’t know, but……”
After all, the wanderers who had returned to the Hero’s Hall had once again requested to serve her.