A Thief's Nature
"Let's have a spar."
“No, you gobble up all the martial arts and then say you can’t take me as your master? What kind of thieving bastard—wait, thieving bitch mindset is this? Yeah. Thieving bitch. It’s a thieving bitch’s nature.”
Cheon Yuhak spat the words out in disbelief, but once he said it, he realized a thieving bitch’s nature was actually an excellent qualification. The next Divine Thief naturally had to be a thief, after all.
“No, I was just thanking you because you said you’d teach me. Why call me a thieving bitch? If you don’t want to, then don’t, but why the insults?”
“It’s not an insult. When I say it, it’s a compliment. Anyway, doesn’t it spark any greed? I told you it’s a supreme divine art. Peerless martial arts without equal in the world.”
“I already know plenty of supreme divine arts, you know? And how am I supposed to understand if you just say ‘supreme divine art’? You have to give me the actual name first so I can recognize it and think, ‘Oh, that’s a good one.’”
“Shouldn’t you say you’ll learn it before I tell you the name?”
“I need to know what I’m learning before I ask for instruction.”
“I said it’s a supreme divine art?”
“No, uncle, if someone tells you there’s a good item and to buy it, do you just hand over the money without even knowing what it is?”
“Aigo, I’m going to die of frustration! Divine art! It’s a divine art!”
“That’s why I’m asking for the name…”
Cheon Yuhak thumped his own chest.
Cheong’s opinion was perfectly reasonable. However, the creatures known as Murim people would immediately offer up gold the moment you mentioned selling a divine art. That was what divine arts meant to them. Of course, Cheong could simply change her mind later, so it didn’t apply to her.
“Hmm. If you have nothing more to say, may I leave now? My body is starting to cool down.”
“No, I’m telling you it’s a divine art and you feel no greed at all?”
“I keep telling you I already know a lot of them. And even if I did feel greedy, what could I do? I already have a master. You don’t go around collecting multiple parents just to inherit their fortune, do you?”
“Why not! There are more than a few bastards with multiple fathers! If word got out that someone would pass on a divine art, the number of guys volunteering to call you father instead of master would fill an entire city!”
“Then why don’t you find one of those people? I have no intention of serving anyone except my current master. That’s all. Ah, thank you for teaching me the training method.”
Cheong gave a polite bow and trudged away with exhausted steps.
It was true. Now that her heated body had cooled, every muscle screamed with pain, her clothes were cold and caked entirely in mud, and they felt as heavy as a thousand pounds.
Cheon Yuhak stared blankly at her retreating back.
“So she’s a girl with a sense of loyalty, is she? Then all the more reason. Yes… just you wait.”
However, the nature of a thief was to burn even hotter with desire the more precious the target was.
Had he told her to use the dagger in place of her hands?
Cheong immediately, starting from that very evening meal, tried out the suspicious uncle’s training method. Paeng Daesan’s assessment was merciless.
“Do you bear a grudge against the food? I cannot fathom what you are doing.”
“Hmm. A passing expert gave me advice. He told me to try using a blade in place of my hands. But… the blade cuts a little too well……”
She had not thought eating with a dagger would be this difficult. After all, including the handle it was only about one ja four chi long—roughly forty centimeters in her hometown units. The handle itself was around five chi like any normal dagger, so she figured she could simply stab the food with the short blade.
But the blade was far too sharp. When she stabbed a large chunk of roasted duck, it felt like pushing a knife into soft tofu. When she lifted her hand, the meat didn’t move at all while the dagger slid out smoothly on its own.
Cheong changed tactics and tried thrusting horizontally to skewer the meat. However, the center of gravity was off and it tilted to one side, so the smooth blade simply sliced through the meat and slipped out the side.
She persistently targeted the duck until the poor piece of meat was completely shredded and destroyed.
“Aish, this is hard.”
“If you do not plan to sit at the table all day, stop that ridiculous behavior and just eat your meal.”
“Hmph. I’ll at least try to do it properly first. When I meet that expert uncle later I can argue with him. How can I give up just because it’s difficult right away? This is advice from a Harmonious Realm expert, after all.”
Cheong carefully skewered the meat again. This time she lifted it while standing the dagger upright and even gave it a light shake—only for the meat to slide along the blade, the sharp edge slicing its side, causing it to slip off diagonally and plop onto the table.
“Aish, why does this blade cut so well?”
“Sister Cheong, let me see the dagger for a moment. Hmm.”
Jegal Ihyeon took the dagger and examined it with the air of a true weapon connoisseur—measuring the edge with one eye, testing its flexibility, and checking its luster against the light. Then he delivered his verdict.
“It appears to be the Azure Sword, one of the Azure and Crimson Twin Fiends.”
Ah. This atmosphere.
Cheong counted in anticipation. One, two, now!
“Azure Sword!”
“Azure and Crimson Twin Fiends!”
“Azure Sword!”
Unfortunately, the telepathic connection failed. Cheong wondered whether she should impose a penalty on Dang Nan-a, who had answered incorrectly, and Paeng Daesan, who had not opened his mouth at all. Maybe ask the kitchen for some fish sauce?
“Hmm. Is it a good weapon?”
“To explain this, I cannot avoid speaking of the previous generation’s great demon, Tang Lang Geoma. Ah, but to speak of Tang Lang Geoma, I must first tell you about the bloody tragedy of the Yangun Mountain Gate. No, before that, I should begin with how one man’s careless flirtation led to the entire chain of that complicated incident—”
“Isn’t Jegal just using this as an excuse to talk for a long time after holding it in? All this just to introduce one dagger? You’re clearly planning to tell the entire story.”
“Is it not true that famous weapons must have their full story told to be properly appreciated, Sister?”
“Well. Fine. It sounds interesting.”
While wrestling with her meat, Cheong listened to Jegal Ihyeon’s story with half an ear.
The Azure and Crimson Twin Fiends were a paired weapon set consisting of one dagger and one awl, most famous as the personal weapons of Tang Lang Geoma. He was a colossal evil who had reached the Tal-ma realm and might have represented an entire era, but unfortunately the previous generation’s greatest under heaven was Mucheon-daeje. In the end, his head was severed and his weapons confiscated.
“I heard Mucheon-daeje kept them separately until a worthy owner appeared. It seems the connection reached you, his successor.”
Successor my ass.
The person who had told her that the Divine Thief was the greatest thief under heaven was none other than Jegal Ihyeon himself. And during the three gak (roughly forty-five minutes) that the story dragged on, Cheong had only managed to chew a few pieces of meat that had been so thoroughly shredded the texture was terrible. Her irritation was reaching its peak.
“Why don’t you stop eating for a moment? At least drink some soup.”
“If it’s instead of my hands, I have to pick up the soup bowl with this too. Ah. Right. I just need to lift it. Without stabbing.”
Cheong slid the blade under the meat, gently lifting and lowering it to gauge the center of gravity. Then, with an extremely serious expression, she slowly raised her arm.
Her body had transcended humanity in strength and every other metric, including sensitivity and sense of balance. Somehow she managed to balance the meat on the flat of the blade, lifted it above her head, and dropped it. She tilted her head back, mouth wide open, tongue stretched out to receive it.
Paeng Cho-ryeo let out a deep sigh.
“Cheong-ah. No matter what, that is no way for a woman to behave. Doesn’t it embarrass everyone watching?”
“But this is the only way I can eat it. And since it’s just us anyway, what does it matter?”
“That… haa. Never mind. Yes.”
Paeng Cho-ryeo knew any scolding would fall on deaf ears, so she gave up early and simply sighed.
Correcting Cheong’s behavior was a feat only possible for an authority in the field like Seomun Su-rin!
After barely managing to swallow a few pieces of meat, even Cheong felt a little embarrassed by everyone staring at her. They had finished eating long ago and, having nothing else to do, naturally turned their eyes to the bizarre spectacle.
Cheong licked her lips and declared, “Pack the rest of this up. I’ll finish it later. I need to settle this once and for all—who wins between me and the food.”
Paeng Cho-ryeo swallowed back the scolding that had risen all the way to her throat.
Cheong-ah. Where in the world is there a person who fights their food to the death?
By the time Cheong stubbornly had the food packed up, struggled through the rest of the meal with much grunting, it was already late at night. Still, finishing it all gave her a sense of accomplishment at having completed one assignment brilliantly.
Because Cheong had been attempting to eat from dinner all the way into the late night, Dang Nan-a—who had been whining for her to play because she was bored—eventually got sulky and left. Guess I’m sleeping alone tonight, Cheong thought as she began to loosen her clothes, then suddenly froze.
He had told her to use the dagger instead of her hands, so putting on and taking off clothes should be the same. Come to think of it, hadn’t he said to use it instead of her hands except when sleeping?
Cheong looked down at her clothes strings.
Hmm. Even if she held them with her left hand, could she really untie them with a blade?
After a moment’s thought, Cheong simply stripped everything off in one go and threw herself onto the bed. She had already suffered enough with the meal today. It was late, so she would sleep now and start tomorrow morning with putting on clothes using the dagger.
Thus Cheong wriggled around, savoring the touch of the top-class silk bedding of the Mucheon Pavilion with her entire body. The silk sheets wrapping around her felt wonderful, but sleep refused to come. It was so fluffy and soft that you could sink completely into it. No wonder there were people who claimed this was science. It really was comfortable, but… sleep just wouldn’t come.
Cheong lay still with her eyes closed. When a person cannot see, their other senses sharpen. Her hearing, which already transcended human limits, reached out to the sounds of the night. However, the Mucheon Pavilion was the highest-class guest quarters, so its soundproofing was also superb. Only the faint chirping of insects filtered through the window; she could not detect a single human presence.
Strange. Weren’t the maids staying in the very last room on this same floor?
Was the soundproofing this good? She couldn’t even hear a single breath.
Of course, no matter how much her hearing transcended humanity, it would be impossible to hear people breathing across multiple walls. Even if it transcended transcendence, that would be a miracle.
While Cheong was diligently searching for any sign of life, she suddenly bolted upright.
“What’s the point of sleeping? It’s not like I get tired after a few days without it anyway. With my current skill, how can I feel sleepy? I should swing the sword at least once more.”
The monologue was clearly an excuse spoken aloud for no one’s ears.
Cheong reached toward the bedside table. More precisely, toward the dagger resting on it.
CREEEAK!
The door flew open with a loud noise. Opening a woman’s room without permission was incredibly rude no matter how you looked at it. However, since Dang Nan-a’s very nature was that of an extremely rude vixen, this was nothing particularly special.
“Yah! Is that bitch here again! Huh? What the—Cheong, why are you already awake?”
“What do you mean, ‘that bitch’?”
“Because if you leave your spot empty for even one night, you bring in some other bitch. As far as I can tell, that Gongsun wench is very suspicious.”
She had gone home sulking yesterday, but it seemed her anger had completely dissipated overnight. Cheong let out a small laugh and scolded her.
“The only impure person around me is you, you know? And who said I was leaving my spot empty? Ah. Right.”
Then, with an awkward smile, she added, “Nan-a, could you go to the fabric shop and buy me a whole bunch of cheap training clothes? Preferably made from really tough, thick fabric. Burlap? Yeah, stuff woven from coarse hemp.”
“Huh? Burlap? Wouldn’t that be too rough? But why all of a sudden?”
“Hmm. This? Because of this?”
Cheong lightly pinched and lifted both shoulders of her training uniform. The torn sections were revealed—dozens, hundreds of cuts. It looked as if it had been shoved into a paper shredder from her hometown. The gaps revealed flashes of white skin here and there.
Dang Nan-a’s expression turned fierce, and a sharp, furious voice burst out immediately.
“Wh-what is this!? Why is your clothes like that!? Who made your clothes like this!? Good heavens, such a cheap, obvious trick—ah! It’s Geomhwa. It’s that Geomhwa bitch, isn’t it? She came here at night, didn’t she?”