The Venom-Spitting Beauty at the Dragon Phoenix Assembly
At the Dragon Phoenix Assembly, a beauty suddenly appeared and immediately began spewing a torrent of abuse. It truly felt like the prelude to a storm. Cheong decided to sit back and observe for now. At the moment the newcomer simply looked like a one-sided villain, but there might be some unknown history between the two women that Cheong wasn’t aware of. They could be from rival families, or perhaps they carried some old, unresolved grudge that made them bitter enemies. Or maybe Cheong was only seeing one side of things and misunderstanding completely—they might actually be the thickest of friends who greeted each other with curses instead of pleasantries.
After all, some men, once they grew close, would automatically start swearing at the mere sight of each other’s faces and take genuine pleasure in calling each other pathetic bastards. It wasn’t limited to men, either. Women could do the same—trading juicy insults like “you bitch” and “that bitch” while building an even deeper friendship. And above all else, this looked like it would be fun. The situation was growing more interesting by the second.
The woman who had opened with personal attacks strode forward with bold, confident steps. The women seated at a table on one side greeted her warmly. At a glance, they were clearly her crew. Cheong glanced around, then pulled a plate of sachima—the Central Plains’ signature fried pastry—toward herself. It would have been perfect if they had snow-white fried corn snacks, but since those didn’t exist here yet, she would simply enjoy the show while munching on whatever was available.
“That Sword Flower bitch…!” Jin Seol growled beside her.
Then it hit her. If this was the Golden Light Sword Flower Moyong Juhee, wasn’t she that Moyong brat’s older sister? Cheong unconsciously glanced at the woman’s chest and tilted her head. Hmm? It’s not like there’s nothing there. While modest and unassuming, it was clearly shaped enough that it couldn’t be called nonexistent.
As Cheong pondered this, Jin Seol spoke in a furious tone. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”
“Oh, what’s this? Lily! Are you angry? Aigoo, come on. I already apologized, didn’t I? People can make mistakes. Besides, that kind of outfit is what cheap women who bare their bodies in the red-light districts wear. I got confused and slipped up. I’m truly sorry.”
Her skill at insulting someone while apologizing was extraordinary. Getting angry would only make you look narrow-minded, so it was a deliberate provocation designed to incite rage. With her earlobes flushed red, Jin Seol steadied her voice and shot back.
“Yes, people can make mistakes. However, finding fault with perfectly normal clothing is rather bothersome.”
“Normal? Oh! You’re right. Come to think of it, the clothing wasn’t the problem at all. I saw some gisaengs passing by with their collars cut open all the way to the chest, completely exposing their breasts. That must be why I got confused. Ah, I’m really sorry for the misunderstanding. But anyone who saw— no, never mind.”
Wow, she’s really good at twisting her words. Cheong’s heart raced as she crunched loudly on the snacks. So far, Lady Jin Seol was taking a completely one-sided beating! Could Lady Jin Seol possibly turn this disadvantage around?
That was when it happened.
“But I don’t believe I’ve seen the person beside you before…”
Suddenly Moyong Juhee’s gaze shifted to Cheong. Although Cheong wore a face veil, it was a top-grade, ultra-luxury item that allowed her to see outside with perfect clarity. As Cheong looked back, their eyes didn’t meet—Moyong Juhee’s focus was fixed slightly lower.
“Oh my, who is that? Has all the energy that should have gone to her head gathered in her middle dantian instead? Or rather, it looks like she’s hiding something in there. Oh dear, looking at that pitiful state— Miss, you really shouldn’t secretly stuff the banquet food into your bosom like that. By the way, who are you?”
The corners of Cheong’s mouth stretched into a wide grin. What the— look at this. Why is she suddenly coming at me?
It was because of the overwhelming presence that couldn’t be hidden even by martial attire. There was a massive “evil” there that Moyong Juhee had never encountered before. However, Cheong didn’t know about that. The middle dantian comment was no issue. In that regard, Cheong already possessed more than enough, so she could easily dismiss such shabby jealousy with simple pity.
But “pitiful state”? Cheong was wearing the Sinnyeo Sect’s uniform.
“Oh my. What did you just say?”
“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just trying to offer some advice. Since you’ve come to the Dragon Phoenix Assembly, you really should have dressed properly. Just what is that appearance? Who on earth would invite a woman like— ah, sorry. Who invited someone like that? Lily, was it you again?”
“How can someone be so rude…!”
Gongson Yoye shot to her feet, but Cheong stretched out a hand to stop her. At the same time, she grabbed Dang Nan-a’s wrist. “I’m fine. Yoye, you can’t afford to ruin your reputation any further here. And Nan-a, put that poison bottle away.”
“But that crazy bitch is—”
“Enough.”
Cheong flashed a chilling smile. “Um, Miss? I’m sorry, but could you speak a little louder? I can’t hear you.”
“Oh my, is it not just your middle dantian but your ear holes that are clogged with fat too? You can’t hear me?”
“It’s not that. It’s simply that sound normally comes from the chest, so when someone without a chest speaks, it really doesn’t register at all. You keep flapping your mouth, so it seems like you’re saying something, but Lady Jin Seol, can you hear her by any chance?”
Jin Seol snapped back to attention. “No? I was just thinking how very quiet it was.”
“Right? And Miss over there, are you sleepy? Why do you keep yawning with that mouth opening and closing?”
“Haa? Do you even realize who you’re daring to pick a fight with—”
“Ah. That’s right. I was in the middle of an interesting conversation with Lady Jin. Would you all like to listen? I visited the greatest market in the Central Plains at Kaifeng.”
Cheong continued in a breezy tone. “And guess what they were selling? These adorable little pouches stuffed with cotton. So I asked what they were for, and oh my god—don’t be surprised. They said women without breasts use them by stuffing them inside their clothes to deceive people. Lady Jin Seol, can you believe that?”
“Oh my goodness! Is that really true!? I can’t believe it. It’s unbelievable.”
“Right? I was shocked that such useless things even existed. Where would a woman without breasts even use them? No, if a woman has no breasts, isn’t she no different from a eunuch who’s had his yang thing cut off? Don’t you agree?”
Suddenly killing intent poured down like rain. Not just from Moyong Juhee, but from the entire group of women gathered around her. Their eyes were filled with pure venom.
Ah, so that whole faction has generally low altitude.
“You bitch, running your loose mouth…”
“Oh my, why are you yawning with such an angry expression? By the way, Lady Jin Seol, who is that scary eunuch glaring at me over there? Could you introduce us?”
Jin Seol hesitated for a moment. She needed to play along, but should she pretend not to know her or introduce her anyway? With no time to deliberate, she simply chose. “Ah, that person isn’t a eunuch. She is Lady Moyong Juhee of the Moyong family.”
“The Golden Light Sword Flower! Ah, so you’re the famous Sword Flower of the Murim’s Five Flowers. No wonder. I thought you had a body that’s incredibly advantageous for swordsmanship.”
“A body advantageous for swordsmanship?”
“With a body that light and thin, you can thrust your sword straight without anything getting in the way. Just look at me. Like this, and like this—my breasts get caught. Aigoo, having been born this way, my natural constitution is simply disadvantageous for a swordswoman.”
“Aah. You must be truly heartbroken.”
“That’s why when I see someone with a body so advantageous for swordsmanship, as a fellow swordswoman, I can’t help but feel envious. Hmm. Yes. Even if it’s inconvenient, a woman should have ample volume after all.”
Cheong fired the words off in rapid succession. It was a vicious tongue that would have made even Jegal Ihyeon—the greatest intellect among musclemen—fail to suppress an exclamation of admiration.
Moyong Juhee’s face burned bright red. “Hey! You! Have you said enough!?”
“If you’re going to speak to me, could you at least look at me while doing so? Why are you turning your back?”
“Ha? What? You can’t see what’s in front of you? Who’s turning their back?”
“Oh, are you standing facing forward right now? It’s so flat without any curves that I thought you were showing me your back. But really, anyone would think that’s your backside, wouldn’t they? What kind of woman has a figure as flat as a man’s— ah, I see!”
Cheong bowed her head. “I’m truly sorry. I didn’t realize you were cross-dressing. You must have your reasons for pretending to be a woman. My senses are a bit dull. So you’re a eunuch hiding your identity, right? I understand. Shall I continue calling you ‘Miss’ then?”
“Who’s cross-dressing! Who!”
“Yes, yes. You’re not cross-dressing. Okay? I definitely didn’t notice anything, so you can rest easy. I’m a woman whose mouth is as heavy as my breasts. A loose mouth that picks fights with anyone, mocks them, and calls people cheap gisaengs or whatever—that’s something only people with no breasts, light in both body and mind, would do.”
Jin Seol cooled her insides with a sip of cold tea. Wow, what the hell is with this bitch. That tongue of hers. If she had picked a fight with her for no reason, she would have been completely destroyed. She almost felt sorry for the Sword Flower getting beaten down. Actually, she didn’t feel sorry at all. It felt exactly like drinking fruit tea with ice in the middle of summer, and she was struggling hard to keep the corners of her twitching mouth from rising.
“You, you, you…!”
“Hmm. Since you’ve gone to the trouble of cross-dressing, how about this? What if you attached a beehive to your chest like a bowl? The stings might make it swell up a bit. Or, aah. If bees are too much trouble, how about slapping it hard with your palms? Bruises make the flesh swell, right? Since you’re covering it anyway, the color won’t show.”
“Urgh…!”
“Ah! Fake breasts! So that’s what the merchant was selling those for! It wasn’t for women, but for people who need to become women! They say everything in the world exists for a reason, and indeed, it wasn’t made in vain.”
Moyong Juhee huffed and puffed, unable to respond. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“Could you please not take my words lightly? When the goddess molded people, there was no gender at first, so men and women were the same. To create a difference afterward, she attached yang things to men and breasts to women, or so I’ve heard. Therefore, if you’re going to imitate a woman, breast size is a very important matter…”
“Hey! Shut your mouth! You and your loose mouth!”
“Oh my, so you’re saying a mouth should be blocked rather than open? Just as it’s natural for a woman’s chest to be full and rounded, isn’t it natural for the mouth to be open as well?”
“This bitch keeps saying breasts, breasts— that’s why I absolutely hate women with big breasts!”
“Hmm. It’s not your fault that your breasts are small—no, nonexistent, Miss. But isn’t it your fault to be jealous of others and go around biting at them because you don’t have any? Did you know who I was when you insulted my uniform?”
“Hmph, it’s just some shabby uniform anyway.”
“My name is Seomun Cheong, and this is clothing that the greatest woman in the Central Plains, Daemo Seomun Su-rin, personally made and bestowed upon her named disciple. By the way, are there any children from the Moyong gang among that group? What is your seniority? How dare you not greet your elder?”
At Cheong’s words, chairs clattered noisily as they fell over all at once.
“Mountain Lotus of the Qingshan Sect greets the Elder!”
“Mountain Cherry of the Qingshan Sect greets the Elder!”
“Martial Lotus of the Maoshan Sect pays her respects!”
“Ma Yuran of the Shengyue Sect greets the Elder!”
“Chang Yang of the Hengshan Sect offers her greetings!”
“Yes. How could children of the Dao gates be hanging around such a vicious child? How heartbroken your sect elders would be if they knew.”
“Ah, no, it’s not like that!”
“Yes, don’t stay in this embarrassing place. Go somewhere else. I don’t remember faces well, so if I don’t see you, I’ll forget you soon.”
“Yes! Thank you!”
The five of them hurriedly fled their seats, covering their faces as they bolted for the lower floor. With them gone, Cheong now stood with her arms crossed arrogantly, as if asking what they were going to do about it.
For reference, since emerging in Murim, Cheong had never once stood with her arms crossed. It was uncomfortable. But by deliberately crossing her arms and lifting them tightly from below her chest, the majesty was like a rugged mountain range, like the very spirit of Mount Tai itself.