The Jade Qilin and the Female Beggar
“Are you acquainted with that beggar?”
The Hebei Paeng Clan arrived in Zhangyuan City around lunchtime and settled into the Zhangyuan Sword Sect. Though the sect ranked only fifth in the city, Paeng Heon, the Clan Head, insisted that swordsmen belonged in sword sects. The Zhangyuan Sword Sect Master, who had been fuming moments earlier, was now bustling about in a frenzy to welcome his distinguished guests. With this, his prized disciple could finally make an appearance at the Dragon-Phoenix Gathering. Of course, a single introduction was all that was guaranteed; any further rapport would depend entirely on the disciple himself.
Once the luggage was roughly unpacked—more accurately, once Paeng Cho-ryo had finished directing everything with a single finger—she began teasing her younger brother just like the local ruffians, cackling as she did so.
“Loosen up that face. You’ll get wrinkles between your brows. What if my little brother’s looks are ruined? That wouldn’t just be your problem—it’d be a loss for all of Murim.”
“Next time, I’ll tell Father to find three suitors for you and put them all in the same carriage. He’ll surely agree, saying a man must be won through competition.”
“Wouldn’t two be fairer? We should add one woman as well—”
“You mean the kind who shoots killing intent at any woman who so much as meets your eyes?”
“Mm. Sorry. That must have been exhausting.”
Paeng Cho-ryo shuddered and offered a sincere apology. What followed were the usual obligations of a guest: exchanging pleasantries, sharing lunch, then drinking tea and exchanging more pleasantries.
Meanwhile, Paeng Heon’s epithet was the Gentleman of the Sword, earned because he was exceedingly generous in teaching fellow orthodox sword sects. When he suggested observing the Zhangyuan Sword Sect’s skills, the sect members reacted as though they had been granted an audience with the Son of Heaven, their eyes brimming with tears of gratitude.
In truth, Paeng Heon had wanted to be called the Sword King, just like Namgung Daero of the Namgung Clan. But with Beijing so close, he had abandoned the idea of using “King” in his title.
Under normal circumstances, Paeng Daesan would have followed his father to the training ground. But the fatigue of travel—especially the mental exhaustion—was too great, so he retired to his room and quietly circulated his qi in meditation.
After some time, a servant came to report that a guest was asking for him.
“I am tired. Please decline.”
“That is… well…” The servant hesitated. “It is someone I cannot possibly stop, and they are already here.”
As if on cue, a man with a swarthy complexion appeared.
“Haha, that’s right. He couldn’t do anything about it, so don’t blame him. Now, why are you holed up in this stuffy room on such a fine spring day?”
“Brother Jo.”
It was Jo Hak-cheo, heir of the Black Dragon Clan.
“Come on, let’s not be so stuffy. Let’s go out.”
“This morning you were grinding your teeth like that. Do you still have any left?”
“Haha! Sorry, sorry. But don’t dwell on the past. Was that the first or second time I’ve done something like that?”
“Brother Jo, please try to have some sense. The moment you see a woman, you lose all reason.”
“What can I do when I have no sense left to spare? A man’s sad fate is to have all his attention drawn to flowers.”
Paeng Daesan let out a deep sigh. This was simply the kind of man Jo Hak-cheo was. The young men of the Dragon-Phoenix Gathering all agreed that if there were no women present, he was the ideal man they wished to emulate. They also called him “that woman-crazed bastard.” When Jo Hak-cheo heard the gossip, he laughed heartily and declared, “That’s right, I am Jo Hak-cheo, the madman who would give his life for women.” His magnanimity was impressive, yet he was the very person who had spent ten days shooting killing intent at Paeng Daesan while grinding his teeth.
“Come on, let’s go.”
“Heading straight to a brothel the moment we unpack? What will people think?”
“They’ll think a bee is flying toward a flower. But not this time.”
“You mean we’re not going to a brothel?”
Paeng Daesan looked surprised. After all, Jo Hak-cheo was not the sort of man who would suddenly quit drinking.
“Right. Actually, I heard something interesting.”
“It has never once been interesting.”
“No, listen. You’ll find this one amusing too. There’s only one female beggar in this city.”
“I’m already bored. Please leave.”
Paeng Daesan cut him off sharply.
“No, no, just listen.”
“I don’t want to. Save it for when Brother Changbin arrives.”
“Brother Changbin turns into a stone statue the moment a woman appears. Though his mouth claims he’s the greatest playboy under heaven.”
“The two of you combined would make a perfect half each.”
“Haha! Then wouldn’t I be the only one losing out?”
Three deep furrows appeared between Paeng Daesan’s brows.
“Where was I?”
“Brother Jo. Please come to your senses. I can understand high-class courtesans, but a female beggar? Clearly you’re talking about the kind who sells her body.”
“Right, you’re correct. I did mention a female beggar. Listen to me.”
Paeng Daesan pressed his fingers against his forehead. Why wouldn’t people listen when spoken to? Or had he not actually spoken at all?
“There’s a female beggar whose face is covered.”
“Good heavens. Even her face is hidden.”
“But her figure is said to be extraordinary. A perfect hourglass—living proof that such a shape exists. Isn’t that already interesting? An ugly face on a beauty’s body.”
“Not interesting in the slightest.”
Paeng Daesan cut him off again. It had no effect.
“See? Interesting, right? And they say her nighttime skills are so exceptional that men claim they’ve visited paradise.”
“Do you believe that? It sounds no different from what Brother Changbin usually says.”
“No, no, don’t be surprised. The female beggar charges as much as the pleasure was worth. The lowest is one tael of silver, and plenty of men have paid ten or twenty taels. Some have even given four gold taels.”
Paeng Daesan’s eyebrows twitched.
“……That is rather surprising. Men usually change their minds after the deed. They willingly paid that much?”
Even in brothels, men who tried to skip payment often received a beating. Yet they were handing over such sums to a single female beggar without complaint?
“That’s how good it was—enough to call it paradise. She started operating when the weather warmed up, and in just half a month, half the men in the city have tasted paradise.”
Paeng Daesan’s expression soured instantly.
“That’s impossible……”
“That’s what makes it more surprising. They say the whole affair takes less than half a quarter-hour, yet she receives a hundred customers a day. Half a quarter-hour! How can men be so satisfied in such a brief moment that they offer gold and silver?”
Paeng Daesan’s face grew even more sour. Anyone who saw him would have been shocked that a rotten expression could rot further.
“Brother Jo, you have quite the strong stomach. Aren’t you disgusted? She’s a prostitute rolling in the gutter. No, the gutter would be cleaner.”
“Don’t worry. They say not a single person has caught a disease so far.”
“That’s not the issue.”
“If it’s not disease, then what’s the problem? She’s not someone you’d take as a wife. Anyway, let’s go.”
“I’m not going.”
“I won’t ask you to enjoy yourself. Just come along. It’ll only take half a quarter-hour, so you can just stand and wait. I’m begging you. Please?”
Paeng Daesan sighed deeply. He knew refusal would fall on deaf ears.
“In exchange, we’re only going to see that beggar. Don’t suggest going to a brothel afterward.”
“Haha, that depends on the female beggar. If she’s as good as the rumors and you’re satisfied, you might not feel like going to a brothel.”
“You won’t say you definitely won’t go, will you?”
“I can’t lie. Haha!”
In the end, Paeng Daesan was dragged out with an expression as though he had bitten into a bug. Even so, the women who swarmed around him could only blush and stare dreamily at the Jade Qilin’s jade-like face, wondering how even a scowl could look so handsome.
“Brother Jo. Even after all this, do you truly intend to embrace that female beggar? The women of this city—and beyond, those persistent stalkers—will spread word across the Central Plains that you’ve been consorting with a beggar.”
“Mm. A man’s resolve is unbreakable once set. Besides, I’m already known as a woman-crazed bastard. If I can experience paradise, so be it.”
“You’re truly insane.”
Paeng Daesan shook his head. This was madness in its purest form. If this wasn’t madness, then what was?
Thus, two men and several hundred women surged across the main street. Finally, they arrived at the female beggar’s dwelling—if two tattered straw mats could be called a dwelling. When the two reached a sunny corner, the hundreds of women formed a semicircle and surrounded them. If they spread a net like this, no one could escape. Yet only two mats lay there; the spot was empty.
“She doesn’t seem to be here.”
“Mm. Should we wait? Doesn’t she receive customers? Ah, there.”
From a narrow alley beside the beggar’s spot, a man emerged rubbing his head, his eyes bloodshot. The poor fellow was startled upon seeing the wall of women and didn’t know what to do. Jo Hak-cheo grabbed him.
“Hey, friend. That female beggar seems to have set up shop over there?”
“Ah, y-yes! Th-that’s right!”
“Really? Wait, heavens. Were you crying?”
Jo Hak-cheo couldn’t hide his amazement at the tear stains on the man’s face.
“How moved must you have been for a grown man to shed tears! So, how much did you pay for the pleasure?”
“That would be… one gold tael, seven silver taels, and thirty-two copper coins……”
“Heavens! Judging by those odd amounts, you gave everything you had! Am I right?”
“Y-yes, that’s correct……”
“Good. Did it really feel like you visited paradise?”
The man felt like dying. His head hurt from being struck, he had spent every coin he owned, and now he had become a man who had consorted with a beggar in front of the entire city’s women. He couldn’t be the only one to suffer.
“Yes. I even got to see my late grandfather for a moment. I definitely visited paradise. Well then, I’ll be on my way.”
He pressed himself against the wall and slipped away, unable to break through the women’s barrier.
“See? It’s certain.”
“That’s enough. Go do your work.”
“Hey now. After finishing the deed, a man has to handle the woman too. Charging in right away—is that something a man would do?”
“You’re already doing something a man shouldn’t.”
“Oh, there she comes. Indeed, her figure is quite voluptuous. What do you think?”
“……”
“Hey, Brother Paeng? Jade Qilin?”
“……”
When there was no reply, Jo Hak-cheo turned and grinned mischievously.
“This fellow’s completely lost his mind. Why? Seeing her with your own eyes makes your heart race?”
At that moment, Paeng Daesan strode forward. He grabbed the female beggar’s wrist and forcefully dragged her into the narrow alley.
“Huh? Where are you going? Brother Paeng! You have to wait your turn!”
Jo Hak-cheo, suddenly cut in line, wore an awkward smile. Then—
“That’s impossible!”
“Jade Qilin, no! Come back!”
“Kyaaah! How can this be reality……”
“Hey, snap out of it! Open your eyes!”
All manner of screams, wails that tore at the heart, and sobs erupted at once. Some women fainted on the spot. Others, enraged, tried to charge into the alley, but—
“Now, now, young ladies. One must not interfere with a man’s moment of bliss. It pains me like fire in my heart to raise my sword against you, who are like flowers, but I cannot allow my most cherished sworn brother’s first experience to be ruined.”
Jo Hak-cheo blocked the narrow alley, qi flaring from his sword. What could they do? Yet the words “moment of bliss” and “first experience” caused even more women to faint, and only terrible screams echoed through the daytime sky.