[Note Sent] You Must Help Me (2)
Casacos stared at my hands, frozen solid. She examined them from every angle, as if a homunculus might pop out at any moment. Yet there was no trace of alchemy to be found.
“Yohan, my student….”
“Yes, Professor.”
“Why did you lie?”
I answered her with a sheepish grin. “I’m sorry. Haha.”
“Apologizing is fine, but this isn’t something you should be sorry for…!”
She spoke in utter disbelief. “Don’t tell me you froze your own hand using your abilities? What on earth were you thinking… No, what were you even trying to do, casually freezing your hand like that!!”
“Well, there were circumstances beyond my control. If I explained in detail, it would just be messy privacy issues, so could you perhaps chalk it up to mental illness and let it slide this once?”
“You… You actually froze it for real, didn’t you…. Oh my god, it’s freezing!”
“I’m sorry, but I really did freeze it. Quite deliberately.”
She touched my frostbitten, necrotic hand with suspicion, but since it wasn’t fake, there was no warmth to be found.
“Kyaaak! Then I can’t treat this! I’ll call the emergency staff—no, even a priest would do—just wait here!”
“…Mm, that won’t be necessary.”
With a sigh, I called for Azero.
“It’s the first time you’ve summoned me since the duel…. I’ll heal you right away. Is this what they call giving medicine after causing the illness?”
Crack—
Just like that, my hand, which anyone would have thought needed amputation from frostbite, returned to normal. I had a plan all along. That was why I could freeze my hand at will and heal it at will. But now that my little performance had been exposed, I truly had no excuse left for Professor Casacos.
“…Yohan, my student.”
“Y-Yes!”
So it was no surprise when Casacos completely lost her temper. I had braced myself for the aftermath.
“Aaaaargh—!”
My shrill scream echoed through her laboratory. She even smacked me on the head a few times. It took a full hour of scolding before she was done.
“Do you understand now? To summarize, skipping class is grounds for definite suspension, and on top of that, deceiving a professor like this… You’re a real menace.”
Haah— Casacos let out a weary sigh as she spoke.
“Yohan, do you know how much Professor Babalk has placed his hopes on you…? If you keep acting like a problem student, it puts me in a difficult position.”
“Yes, yes. I’m sorry.”
“Huh. You’re not even paying attention. My words must sound so light to you. Why don’t you repeat what I just said?”
I summarized her words clearly. It wasn’t that I hadn’t been listening. I simply had nothing to say, so I had just been taking the scolding.
“…What? So you were listening. Then… I suppose it doesn’t surprise you that he has expectations of you?”
“No. It’s not something I need to be particularly happy about.”
“Huuuh…?”
For a moment, Casacos’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“There are enough students who want to catch his eye to fill ten carriages. He’s the founder and elder of the Babalk school, after all.”
I knew that well. I knew exactly what kind of position Babalk held in this world. He was the scholar who had single-handedly built the transcendent standing Sigmund now enjoyed. There was even a saying that catching the eye of that aged professor of ruin could change one’s entire life. Even when I played the game, I had always been struck by the sheer scale of that old man’s influence.
“He wants to turn you, a northerner, into the Empire’s light. And you’re saying that’s not a good thing?”
But there was no need to even think about it.
“That’s him caring about ‘me,’ isn’t it? So there’s no need for me to be pleased.”
“Who else would he care about if not you?”
“My life has no meaning to begin with. Even if I gained honor and wealth, that would be the end of it. So even if someone tried to change a meaning that doesn’t exist, there’s nothing good about it, is there?”
“You’re saying that multiplying zero still gives you zero?”
“Something like that.”
It was the first time I had heard that he thought well of me, but what Babalk wanted from me was nothing more than the annihilation of the Demon King and the demon race.
‘That crazy demon-slaying old geezer.’
So he was probably hoping I would become a hero who would go down in history, a shining star… and pinning expectations on me that I had no intention of fulfilling. But as I had said before, I had no interest in any of that. That sort of thing was better suited for Eclipse, who was probably studying diligently right now.
Casacos crossed her legs, still clad in stockings, and replied.
“Typical teenage angst. Now you’re possessed by nihilist philosophy, is that it?”
“I don’t know. It’s not something I said lightly. I’ve never once wished for my own safety or success.”
“For a student like you, your parents would usually have instilled dreams in you or something….”
“I don’t have parents.”
“Ah, aah.”
Casacos seemed genuinely flustered by the sudden confession.
“Sorry…. I didn’t know.”
But I told her it was fine. After all, I had no thoughts about it whatsoever. Still looking awkward, Casacos continued where she had left off.
“Th-then, what are you living for?”
Perhaps her mouth had gone dry from scolding me, because Casacos began brewing coffee with a hand drip while she spoke. She even poured a cup for me. I accepted it gratefully and answered.
“I live for the young lady’s happiness. No, I live for the young lady.”
“…The young lady? Grand Duchess Karalin?”
“Yes. My life may have no meaning, but ever since she picked me up, I’ve been living only for that purpose.”
“Wow.”
“…That’s just how I’ve always been. So I have no interest in anything else.”
“So you’re saying that as long as you can stay by the young lady’s side, you don’t need something like the chance to become a hero whose name will be etched in history by his hand?”
“That’s right.”
“Are you two dating?”
Pfft— I spat out the coffee she had brewed all over the floor.
“We are not!”
“It sure sounds like it?”
“Everyone’s out of their minds! She and I are master and servant. How does just staying close to someone automatically mean we’re dating…. And now even you, Professor, are saying the same thing?”
“No, it’s just… You were holding hands and giving a speech together at the entrance ceremony, weren’t you? If you say it like that, it’s only natural to conclude you’re dating.”
Casacos stroked her chin with her thumb and forefinger as she spoke to the flustered me.
“Even if that weren’t the case, the way you talk makes it sound like you have feelings for the young lady.”
“My feelings are not like that….”
I took a deep breath as I answered. I seemed to have lost my composure without realizing it.
“No one understands my heart. I am merely a servant….”
“Ah, yes, yes. I’m sure. I hope it works out for you. Love that transcends status—now that’s a fine comedy. Or is it a tragedy?”
But then she cut herself off. What kind of conversation etiquette was that?
“Damn it, at this rate I’m going to blow this place up. Want to test me?!”
“Kyaa, kyaaak! I got it. Sorry, Yohan! You look like you’d actually do it, so I’m sorry!”
Though my words had come out in a jumble, Casacos flinched and stopped me. Only after that threat did her theory about my relationship with the young lady finally come to an end. She hurried to wrap up the conversation.
“…Ahem. Anyway, you can go now. I’ll let you know the consequences for this incident soon.”
“Yes, I understand, Professor. I’m sorry once again.”
Yet even as she dismissed me, Casacos kept glancing at my body and face.
‘Now she’s undressing me with her eyes.’
No matter how much I had skipped class and pulled that stunt with freezing and healing my hand, this treatment was enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Casacos suddenly spoke.
“By the way, have we met somewhere before?”
“We met for the first time at the entrance exam.”
“I know that…. It’s just that your face has looked familiar ever since then. Well, it’s probably nothing. You can go.”
In the end, it took several hours before I could escape the professor’s wrath. Haah, I was completely drained.
***
Today, Casacos had thoroughly scolded Yohan, who had committed a grave sin. From the moment she saw him utterly crush Roban at the entrance exam, she had thought he was no ordinary student. But to think he would continue doing incomprehensible things even after enrollment. He really did seem like a typical eccentric.
‘He looks as sturdy as a bear, yet….’
Still, that appearance of his had stood out ever since the entrance duel. Back then, Casacos had felt as if she had seen him somewhere before. She had dismissed it as just her imagination and moved on from the sense of dissonance. Today was no different. Even after sending him away, the more time passed, the more Yohan’s image kept flickering before her eyes.
Casacos told herself this wasn’t lovesickness. He might be an adult, but he was still a student. A professor feeling romantic attraction toward a student was out of the question. She knew better than anyone that she shouldn’t do such a thing. There was no way her subconscious would conjure up such feelings.
Yes. This was closer to a persistent sense of déjà vu that wouldn’t leave her chest.
“Yohan. His personal records are….”
So, as if possessed, Casacos slipped into the faculty office where the personal records were kept. Strictly speaking, only admissions officers were allowed to view them, but the déjà vu she had felt during the entrance duel wasn’t something that could be dismissed as mere imagination. Feeling it a second time today meant it wasn’t ordinary. It was to satisfy a scholar’s instinctive curiosity. For that, a fact-based investigation was essential. She had simply charged in without thinking. Well, if you thought it was hypocrisy, you’d be right. She had called Yohan a menace, yet here she was committing an illegal act herself.
But to defend herself a little, she hadn’t scolded Yohan out of genuine anger. Because of her position and status, she had no choice but to say something. If she had truly been furious, she wouldn’t have sent him back just now—she would have convened a disciplinary committee on the spot and expelled or suspended him. If he had done something that crazy without any reason, she probably would have. But seeing how he kept beating around the bush, she figured he must have his own reasons, so she hadn’t pressed further and had simply understood.
Probably, Yohan was the type who would stop at nothing to achieve what he wanted. That was exactly why her understanding had kicked in. She herself was exactly that kind of person. Look at her—she did all sorts of strange things just to satisfy her curiosity. In that sense, it wasn’t hard to understand.
“Here it is!”
But when she opened Yohan’s personal records, there was nothing particularly unusual, contrary to her expectations.
“Born in 678. He doesn’t remember his own birth, but he found out through emotional magic examination. Hah, what kind of life has this kid lived?”
His early childhood background wasn’t detailed at all. She suspected he had deliberately omitted it when filling out the form. He must have had a rough life.
“Huu…. So it really was nothing.”
But no matter how many times she looked, she couldn’t find anything that would explain the déjà vu. They hadn’t grown up in the same neighborhood. They hadn’t attended the same school district either. Besides, Yohan was born in the North, so he had nothing in common with her. She had lived between Karlangk and Sigmund since birth. The only connection she had to the North was the story of her father being born and raised there before moving to the capital. But that was fifty years ago, long before Yohan could have been born.
So Casacos could only let out a deep sigh and put the records back.
‘I got nothing.’
Yet for some reason, as she returned home, the birth year kept circling in her mind.
“678…. 678…. Come to think of it, he was born at a good time.”
Because that year had held deep meaning for her as well. Eighteen years ago, with her beloved father’s help, she had created a homunculus that carried her exact genetic information. Her son. The academy’s first living homunculus. Though he had only been ten years old, barely old enough to suck on candy, she had been able to write a thesis about him and reach her current position. That was why that year was special to Casacos. If only she had succeeded in implanting a soul as well, she would have been the first human to create life outside the womb. But such experiments were taboo, so she hadn’t done it, and that still left her with regret.
‘I didn’t know back then that the opportunity would never come again.’
After that, the first and last perfect homunculus she had created was stolen when someone smashed the test tube and took it away, making further experiments unthinkable. The culprit? She still didn’t know. There were many who had envied her achievement at such a young age, so there were several suspects, but no one had been confirmed. It was a mystery that would make even ghosts weep. It was clear that a soulless being couldn’t have suddenly awakened and walked away on its own. There must have been someone behind it. But precisely because it had been the first and last, strangely enough, every homunculus she created afterward was inferior compared to the one she had made at ten years old. So for her, she hadn’t even considered attempting the soul implantation experiment again. To think she couldn’t even surpass her younger self now. The world called this beginner’s luck, didn’t it?
“In the end, I’ll just be going in circles this year too…. Obsessed with strange things like homunculi, unable to even get married.”
To shake off such negative thoughts, Casacos decided to pull another all-nighter tonight. Seeing that year had suddenly reminded her of her lost child, and the desire to recreate the luck she had at ten years old burned strongly within her. She didn’t know how many times this would make it, though.
‘Mother…. I’m sorry. If you’re still alive, please forgive me for not being able to keep you by my side.’
She merely recited the words sadly.