Let's Go Back (1)
I know I am someone who can change history. The proof is that I saved Cryan's uncle—who should have been utterly broken—killed Ban Kight, and absorbed the Six Swords that form the axis of the world. And because, back then, everyone had given their all. Honestly, I remember believing without a shred of doubt that things would work out exactly as I planned at my best.
But even with that experience behind me, why can't I feel that same certainty this time?
‘No, maybe this is only natural.’
I had poured my heart and soul into it with everything I had, yet there had been hundreds—thousands—of times when that sincerity failed to reach His Majesty the King. After all those failures, perhaps I had become like a pathetic monkey who, after seeing a banana hanging impossibly high, lost all will to reach for anything ever again.
His Grace Rexas changing his mind. I didn't even dare hope he would have a complete change of heart. The wish that he might, just once, take the young lady's side—that was my banana. So while I could handle everything else just fine, this one small thing had become something I could no longer reach for.
Still, no matter how things turned out, it didn't matter anymore. After saying all that, my heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. Everything I had done was the result of my last shred of reason twisting when I saw the young lady nearly die. At least, the Rexas I knew would have done nothing even after witnessing all of it.
I no longer wanted anything he had ever given me. That was why I had acted alone.
What I feared most right now wasn't the wrath His Grace Rexas might hurl at me once the repercussions hit, nor was it Shagalor's sneering jealousy. The only thing that mattered was what the young lady would think of all this.
Yet no matter what rebuke she might give me, I was ready to accept it. I had done all of this fully prepared for the consequences.
“Lord Steel Knight, what on earth were you thinking, coating your body with snake venom…! It’s a miracle that not even a trace remained and the wound only looks like an arrow wound. If any had been left, this could have been no joke at all!”
“I am no longer the Steel Knight, Physician.”
“………Ah, that’s right. Forgive me. Please forget I said that.”
“Think nothing of it. Thank you.”
So even if the royal physician looked at me with pity and worried over me like I was being scolded, it was fine. These wounds could have been healed instantly with the healing shuttle Azero, but it felt ridiculous to mend scars I had chosen to bear as a show of my will. I would simply leave them be until the flesh grew back on its own.
Anyway, now that every matter was settled, only one thought filled my mind.
‘There is no longer any reason to remain in the royal palace. As soon as preparations are complete, I must leave this place…’
I rose to my feet, intending to hurry and order everyone to prepare for our return. But at that very moment…
“You idiot…!”
“Oh… Young lady.”
Karalin, brimming with anger, had dragged her still-uncomfortable body all the way to me. As if mixing in a bit of coquettishness, she tried to lightly punch my stomach while huffing, but—
Tap—.
She only made the motion before stepping close, reaching up to cup my cheeks in her hands.
“……Just because I got hurt, you didn’t have to go and get hurt the same way! I don’t know anymore. I was in so much pain—how much pain must you have been in—.”
“Pain? It just felt like an arrow going through me. I thought I would be poisoned by the snake venom, but it seems that didn’t happen… This was a decision I made because I wanted to share your suffering.”
Then Karalin switched to a whisper, leaning in close.
“Are you a pervert?! Do you like me so much that you even have to share my pain?”
“I am not a pervert. And yes, I like you that much.”
Karalin frowned slightly, her expression unreadable.
“Don’t lie. Who says something like that? Remember this. Never speak carelessly. Always take responsibility for your words.”
She seemed to doubt that I truly liked her to that extent. But what could I do? It wasn’t a lie.
“…It’s not like that. Was the proof of my will to take responsibility for you for the rest of my life still insufficient when I showed it before His Majesty?”
Judging by the answer I gave, it seemed that wasn’t the case at all. Karalin slowly shook her head with a faintly satisfied look.
“……More than enough. Steel Knight. No—Yohan.”
So the words I had to say were already decided.
“…I am sorry for no longer being the Steel Knight.”
“What is there to be sorry about? You’re the kind of person who only does what he believes is necessary, aren’t you?”
“Yes. This was the same. A title given by someone who could not understand you is no longer needed by me.”
“…I understand what it meant for you to throw that away. Perhaps I am the only person in this world who can truly savor that feeling with you.”
“Wow, how interesting. The understanding one is also the one being understood.”
“Well, haven’t we always been like that? We are people who are both necessary and sufficient for each other.”
“Do you like me even when I’m like this, young lady?”
“……You wouldn’t know. What it feels like to become me.”
Hmm. I wasn’t sure why the conversation was flowing in such a lovey-dovey direction, but it seemed that the way we had acted toward each other this time had pleased us both. What started as light talk had clearly drifted this way.
If no one were watching, I would have wanted to pull her into my arms. But standing this close, there was always the chance someone might see us. So we would set aside our personal ways for now and focus on what needed to be done—deciding our future course.
“I am not praying that His Grace Rexas will suddenly change his mind because of what I did and flip a coin to name you his successor.”
“I agree. At best, he will throw a tantrum and severely punish the ‘mastermind’ behind this incident. Our situation won’t change.”
“Then what do you wish to do, young lady?”
“…We must leave.”
“………Yes.”
“Even if we feel lonely or sad, we have duties to fulfill. The mission we were given was to study at the academy and return, wasn’t it? This visit was only a brief stop to catch our breath.”
“Indeed, we cannot end things half-heartedly.”
When I said that, Karalin smiled. A few months ago, when I had brought this up, she had felt so wronged and sorrowful that I had to comfort her endlessly. Now she seemed almost composed, as if she believed she held the advantage.
I agreed with that thought. When we returned to the North and looked at the situation again, we both knew it was a complete mess. But by doing this, the situation would only grow far more serious.
Unlike Abel and Shagalor, who had been busy only protecting their own rice bowls, Karalin had shown a benevolent leader’s face even during our short return to the North. She had become a spark of hope that the incompetent North—which could not control even a single war—could change.
Yet if the current incompetent regime, after trying to kill the Grand Duke’s daughter, ended up killing the Steel Knight who had always stood by her side… how many would continue to serve the North with unwavering loyalty?
When an external threat becomes an internal one. That was the turning point created by our visit. It was the burden that Abel, Shagalor, and even His Grace Rexas would now have to bear.
In simple terms, it was a successful shitstorm.
But then Lady Karalin said to me,
“School starts again in two days. If we’re returning to the academy, we should leave this evening at the latest.”
“That would be best. I have a lot to organize, so I’ll prepare immediately.”
“Ah! Speaking of organizing, Yohan, there’s one thing I’d like you to do right away.”
“What is it? Just tell me.”
“It’s…”
Anela.
Anela Lorelei had a vivid dream after returning alive from her destroyed hometown of Mihelrn. Perhaps because of the overwhelming shock, her brain was desperately pulling up good memories to keep itself from breaking. Anyway, the dream she kept having went like this.
In the village’s communal pasture where a cool breeze blew and warm sunlight poured down, the village boys were swinging wooden swords.
“…I am the Steel Knight Yohan! You’re under arrest!”
“Uwaaah.”
“Hey, if you’re playing the iron golem made of steel, you have to shatter into pieces! The Steel Knight has that kind of power!”
“……What the heck. How am I supposed to shatter? This isn’t fun. I want to play as Sir Yohan now.”
“No! We’re doing a little more!”
Watching the snot-nosed boys bickering, she looked on with disdain.
“Pfft. The Steel Knight I know doesn’t fight in such a childish way.”
“Anela! What are you doing? Instead of spying on the boys, go do more laundry.”
“B-but, Aunt from the mill… They’re doing something weird—!”
“You mean imitating the Steel Knight? They do that every day.”
“But it lacks realism. The Steel Knight I know isn’t like that…”
“When have you ever actually seen the Steel Knight? Stop talking nonsense and go step on the laundry.”
“Yeees…”
As if the wonderful knight from the fairy tales were actually alive. Yohan, whose heroic tales had been scattered everywhere since before she was born… Although the Steel Knight himself probably didn’t know it, he had always been the object of Anela’s admiration.
The reason was simple. She wanted to escape this village.
She was just an ordinary girl of her time. Even though she wanted to play freely in her heart, she couldn’t play as carefree as those boys. She had to do the chores the village assigned—cooking, laundry… and sometimes she was even beaten for doing them wrong. There was no one she could talk to.
Of course, with her quiet and obedient personality, she wouldn’t have confessed her feelings to anyone anyway. Still, living like that, resentment couldn’t help but build up.
So whenever she had a spare moment and spaced out to kill time, she would think: Someday, someone like the Steel Knight—or even the Steel Knight himself—would appear in this village. He would take her, who would surely live the same stifling, old-fashioned life even after marriage, and carry her far away. That was her fantasy.
“Anela, are you still thinking about the Steel Knight? Your feet aren’t moving!”
“Ah, y-yes—! Yes!”
But it was an impossible dream. He was the knight who saved and protected the princess in the capital. She knew he was extremely busy. So when the scary mill aunt asked, she immediately admitted she had never seen him, even though she thought about him constantly. How deeply that hurt her pride, only she knew. To have even her one small fantasy so easily trampled—it felt inhuman.
After that conversation, Anela’s wish changed to seeing the Steel Knight in person. If she could, she would be able to prove to the mill aunt that she had been right.
And not long ago, that wish came true. In the worst possible way.
The girl she met early in the morning while fetching water—Grespara. A rain of steel death like falling starlight. The moment that girl entered the village, everything that made up her life burned and was destroyed. Her house. The people. Her father and mother. And.
Little Anela was the only one who survived the wreckage of that festival of death.
‘Child, stay back for a moment…’
If Sir Yohan the Steel Knight hadn’t arrived just in time, she would have run madly back into the village and disappeared along with everything else.
But in exchange for not dying, she lost everything.
Why would the gods do something so cruel to her?
‘Is it… because I’m a bad child…?’
However, Anela was so uneducated that she couldn’t even read a single letter, so she couldn’t properly express those feelings out loud. After becoming a guest at the royal palace—which didn’t suit her at all—she simply kept her mouth shut and stayed dazed.
“………….”
An endlessly long and grand corridor. Sparkling plaster columns. A fountain with clear flowing water… Everything around her was fascinating and felt completely different from Mihelrn, so she might have wanted to look around. But if she did, she felt she would be overwhelmed with guilt toward everyone who had died.
So Anela lay on the incredibly soft bed assigned to her room, quietly reciting the names of everyone she would never see again, counting the stars in the night sky.
Creak—.
“………E-eh.”
Then the door opened and someone entered.
“Anela.”
“L-Lord Steel Knight…!!”
Without his usual black armor, Yohan approached her in plain clothes. He looked down at her with a warmth in his eyes she had never seen before.
Anela’s mind, which had been swirling with countless thoughts just moments ago, went completely blank at the single fact that Yohan had remembered her name.
The face and figure she was seeing directly for the first time were exactly as she had imagined. So without realizing it, Anela blurted out,
“T-the mill aunt… I… I was right, wasn’t I…”
“………I’m sorry. I don’t remember the mill aunt. But the reason I came here is… because I heard the child who survived wanted to see me.”
“Y-yes—! My lord—! I… I survived—! What do I do now…”
As Anela cried loud enough to shake the world, Yohan simply held her in his large hands and gently stroked her back.