Night of the Falling Star
The drink Lord Rexas had given me was strong liquor.
I hadn't known what it was, but I'd gulped it down thinking it couldn't possibly be poison. The only thing that could explain this hazy feeling in my mind was high-proof alcohol.
Swish—
I sat down beside the lady. The distance between us was about the width of a hand. The hard snow was perfect for sitting; even if a chill rose from below, nothing could match its soft cushioning. So we sat facing each other, feeling no need for words, simply gazing down in silence at Fralbert, the city where we had grown up.
"It's beautiful."
She spoke as if in passing. Her tone was the same as always, yet I could hear the slight slur of intoxication in the way her tongue moved and her words ended.
The lady, too, was clearly not in her right mind.
"It is."
"It's hard to believe this city was once caught in the flames of war. Even while we were away, the people gathered their strength and protected the city of their ancestors…"
"…Yes. If things had gone even slightly wrong, we might never have seen this sight at all."
……
As expected, the lady… held a special attachment to this city. After all, it was the place where all her ancestors had been born and raised. That was only natural.
Therefore, even if I were to burn this city to the ground, I would still feel a trace of guilt for wanting to hand the grand ducal seat over to her. Only then could I live like a decent human being.
Yet at the same time, I felt a conflicting desire for her not to grieve. What I had to do now was… tell a transparent lie to ease my own guilt.
"But the war isn't over yet. It could burn again at any moment, couldn't it?"
"That's true. This peaceful sight we see today might be the last."
"Perhaps living each day without dying is just like that…"
Slide—
As I spoke, I quietly shifted closer and pressed myself against her side. The lady didn't tell me to come nearer, but somehow, being together like this made me want to. The reason that always held me back was asleep tonight.
"By the way, why did you come here, my lady?"
"…………I just… wanted to?"
"That can't be right…. As far as I know, you only come here when you want to cry."
Even as I said it, I wasn't sure if I was speaking correctly. She might feel ashamed that I knew such a fact. In that case, I was digging up an embarrassing memory for no reason. I regretted saying it the moment the words left my mouth. I really had no sense of tact at all.
But what the lady said was quite different from what I had expected.
She, who had claimed she wasn't cold, curled up with her knees to her chest and buried her face in them.
"Because I'm drunk…"
Her voice came out small and weak.
"I wanted to see you…. So I came. Was that wrong?"
"…Me, you mean? No, it wasn't wrong at all. I just wondered why you had to come all the way here—"
"I don't know where you are. But when we lived in the North…. Whenever I sat here crying alone, you would always find me like a ghost…"
She turned her head slightly and looked up at me.
"I didn't know where you'd gone, but I thought if I sat here quietly, you would come find me…"
"I… see…"
"And you really did come…?"
"If I hadn't, you might have caught a cold."
The lady's cheeks flushed pink, and she smiled to herself.
In truth, I had been dragged here by a suspicious assassin with no intention of my own, but that hardly mattered now. I stayed quietly by her side. Doing nothing was still earning me points.
"I like you."
Still curled up, she reached out and wrote my name in the snow beside her.
"Yo… han…"
She wasn't usually this affectionate. The answer had to be the alcohol.
'How adorable…'
Without thinking, I reached out as well and wrote her name beneath mine in the snow.
Karalin.
Her name, which I adored, and my name, written by her hand, rested side by side on the same line. There was nothing more beautiful to behold.
After a moment of silence, she spoke to me in a low, deep voice.
"Yohan."
"Yes, my lady."
"I think you're amazing."
"…Thank you for saying that, but I don't think I'm amazing at all."
Slide—
Her hand came to rest on top of mine. It was the same long, straight, beautiful hand I had felt since the day she first picked me up—cold as ice, yet warm as sunlight.
"If I say you are, then you are. Why do you always say things like that…"
"Everything I am is the result of trying to stand beside someone as beautiful as you. So it's only natural."
"It's not natural at all."
She pressed herself closer to my side.
"Hey, remember what you said before…. Right before we went to the North, when I was wondering if I should go back."
"…Ah, that."
To summarize, she said I wouldn't be disappointed if she showed weakness. There was no such word as disappointment in the feelings I held for her. If I had ever thought of giving up, I would have done so long ago.
When I finished, the lady nodded.
"Right. But there's something I want to ask…"
"What is it, my lady?"
"Back then, you said from beginning to end that you were my one and only servant."
"Yes. And that will never change."
"But is that really all?"
She traced the back of my hand with her fingertips, as if savoring the sensation.
"I wonder if you're really helping me and staying by my side just because of that."
"………"
"I'll ask again. Will you always remain my unchanging servant…?"
Normally, I would have answered "Yes" without hesitation.
'But I don't think I should…'
Yet the intuition I felt now was trembling so strongly that it seemed to be telling me something entirely different. How to put it… If I said yes here, I would be forced to remain her servant for life, stuck in stagnation with no progress. That was the feeling.
More precisely, it was the alcohol. The intoxication was urging me to say something presumptuous.
So, without realizing it, I answered reflexively.
"No."
"…Really? Then what do you mean—"
"I want to remain your companion who walks through life with you. In the end, I suppose I'm only human too. I'm clinging to you like this because I want something."
The words that came out of my mouth were surprisingly clean and well-organized. There was no doubt I had been thinking about this for a long time.
The lady seemed surprised—either by the words themselves or by the fact that they had come from me. Her pupils shook as she stammered, which was very unlike her.
"…Really? I, my fate, together, why—"
"—Perhaps because I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you."
"…Me?"
"Yes. It's foolish, isn't it?"
Her ears and cheeks were flushed red. Was it the alcohol, or something deeper?
As was her habit when embarrassed, she twirled a lock of her hair with the hand not holding mine.
"…Why? Why do you think that? I'm not that beautiful…"
"…Then why have I never seen anyone more beautiful than you in my life?"
"Hey, hey…! Yohan!"
"I've told you many times that I've never met anyone as lovely as you."
"………"
"…Why won't you believe me even when I say these things?"
Watching her grow quiet, I tried to pull myself back to my senses.
'What the hell am I doing?'
I was supposed to be chasing after the suspicious assassin who had dragged me here, yet here I was, throwing myself at my liege like an idiot.
"…Aah, it's cold."
"A-are you cold, my lady! I knew it. Here, take my coat—"
At that moment, the lady looked away and held out the wolf-fur coat she always wore.
"I don't need your coat…"
"………Ah, I'm sorry."
"I already have one, don't I?"
That was undeniably true. When I nodded, she spoke again with a different intention in her eyes.
"Hey, aren't you cold, Yohan?"
"…I am."
"I see. This coat is pretty big. It looks like there's room for one more…"
Swish—
She spread the coat open and pulled me inside.
"Eek, m-my lady—?!"
Her skin pressed tightly against mine. She wore thin clothes unsuited for the cold, so her vivid warmth and touch passed straight through to me. Soft, yet cold as ice. Beneath the scent of cedar she always carried, there was the faint fragrance of peach.
'Ah, ugh…'
I didn't know where to put my hands and was fumbling around when she gently took them and wrapped them around her slender waist. It was so thin that my arm could encircle it completely, so delicate it seemed it might break if I applied too much force. And because of that, it felt all the more precious and dear.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, my lady…?!"
"…What for?"
"My hand… It ended up by your waist. I didn't know where else to put it…. I think the alcohol is really getting to me, my lady."
"Me too. If I fall asleep like this and wake up, I won't remember anything."
Then she leaned in close to my ear and whispered.
"…Anyway, by tomorrow we won't remember anything, right? You too?"
"…Yes?"
"Then listen carefully."
It was something I never thought I would hear.
"I like you too. I love you…"
Smack—
She drew close and pressed her soft, lovely lips against mine.
Smack, smack—
Smack—
Like someone dying of thirst reaching for water—desperate and unrestrained.
"I love you, I love you…. I like you, Yohan…"
It was the night a meteor fell.