Not a Ghost
Jin had cried until his eyes were swollen. Vice-Captain Louis received Nina as gently as he always had.
"You—seriously—hey!"
Jin crushed her into a hug. She could barely breathe, but she laughed and hugged him back just as hard.
"Jin. I'm so glad you're alive."
"That's my line!"
He barked it at her and still refused to let go.
"And what happened to your hair? Your eyes? No—you don't have to tell me. You came back. That's enough."
"I can tell you. It might take a while, though."
Nina smiled, crooked and wry.
"You don't have to look at me like I've been tortured."
Then she bowed to Louis, polite as a subordinate should be.
"It's been a long time, Vice-Captain."
"Truly, Nina. Good heavens."
Louis bit his lip. Never in his life had someone he had mourned as dead come back living. It was the first time, and he could not get hold of himself.
"Are you well? Does anything hurt?"
"You saw the fight just now."
"I did. I saw that reckless method very clearly."
He studied her, the worry plain on his face.
"Are you truly all right?"
"I'm fine."
Nina made a show of flexing one arm and grinned.
Adrian quietly caught that arm. She turned to look at him.
"I'm not going to disappear."
"I know."
She understood him well enough—he knew she would not vanish, and still needed to be sure—and a soft laugh escaped her.
How could Nina be so calm? How could she smile like this? The question rose in Adrian of its own accord. Every time he looked at her his stomach lurched, and he could hardly bear it. Even if he locked his arms around her and never let go, he did not think the fear would leave him. Two years had passed, and Nina was so much herself that it felt all the more like a dream. Her eyes had changed, and the color of her hair, but those had never been what he used to know her by.
Nina cleared her throat.
"Setting that aside—the three of you were hunting a Bellac in the middle of the night? What happened?"
At the interrogation they looked at one another. Louis smiled, mild as ever.
"Let us go inside before we speak. This does not seem the place for it."
His long light-brown hair was tied back as always, his composed eyes closed.
"Jin and Sir Louis haven't changed a bit."
Nina murmured it, and Jin looked at her.
"Neither have you."
"You think so? I can't tell."
She rubbed the white hair at her brow between her fingertips, then flicked it loose.
They moved inside the fort, and Nina asked,
"What about Kirill? Is she well?"
"Yes. Kirill is at Black Shield Castle."
A loud, unmistakable growl rose from Nina's stomach. Color crept into her face.
"Is there anything to eat?"
"Of course."
"Wait."
Jin shot to his feet, brought bread and water from the cupboard, and pressed them into her hands. Nina ate as if she had been starving.
Watching her, Adrian felt relief move through him.
She's really alive.
Not a ghost. Not an illusion. He had never heard of a ghost that ate and drank.
Nina worked her way through the whole great round loaf by herself, bite after relentless bite, then looked from one pair of watching eyes to the next.
"Why are you all staring?"
Jin let out a breath and propped his chin on his hand.
"Watching you eat, it hits me. Damn. You really are alive."
"Obviously. Coming all this way just to spring 'it was an illusion,' or 'she was a ghost,' would be too cruel."
"It might have been."
Louis said it gently and held out the water bottle. Nina drank in long gulps.
"Yeah. No ghost eats like that."
Jin stared in open wonder at the girl who had finished, alone, a loaf large enough to last three days.
Once the food was gone, sleep came over her. Now that she thought of it, she had not slept in something like two years.
She gave a small yawn, and Adrian spoke.
"Go sleep."
"What? No, I'm fine."
She said it while prying her eyes open with both hands. His smile went wry.
"Sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."
If we still have that much time.
Nina looked at him steadily, then nodded.
"All right."
She grinned, got to her feet, and tugged at his arm.
"Then let's sleep together!"
While the three of them were still stammering, she laid everything out in brisk, tidy order. In the end all four of them were on their backs beneath the ceiling, blankets spread over the floor, lying side by side.
"God. This is exactly like summer training."
Jin muttered it with open distaste. Nina closed her eyes.
"Brings back memories."
She reached out, hesitant, and Adrian's hand met hers.
I really came back.
All those drills with the Sun returned to her. In that place, where neither time nor space could be felt, it had seemed her mind might come apart. She had endured anyway, held up by the thought that she could return.
I'm not alone. Adrian is here.
That was enough for Nina. Before long she had fallen asleep.
She slept deeply, breathing soft and even. The three men did not. Adrian kept her hand in his and checked her sleeping face again and again.
Jin sighed.
"Why won't it feel real?"
"Because it isn't possible."
Adrian answered and sat up. Nina's hair, white as new snow, was very long—long enough to call back the day he had first met her.
In the end the three of them saw the night through without a wink of sleep. Only after dawn, when they watched Nina blink awake, rumpled, and push herself upright, did it begin, little by little, to feel true that she had come back alive.
Once the sun was up, the world was sharp and real again.
The four of them made ready to return to the castle. There were only three horses, so Adrian and Nina would share one.
I'm hungry.
Nina sat down in front of him and thought it in a vacant daze. I really have gotten stronger. She had understood it in a single blow, bringing the Bellac down the day before. This was nothing like the strength she used to have. If I'm stronger, is that why I'm so hungry?
She was drifting through the thought when Adrian asked,
"What is it?"
"Oh—nothing. But why were just the three of you out there hunting a Bellac?"
Adrian was silent for a moment. Louis, riding abreast of them, drew nearer.
"Last night's Bellac was an A-rank creature at a glance. We judged that coming out to hunt it ourselves would do less harm to the domain. We did not expect Your Grace to come in person, however..."
In short, a few of their best had meant to deal with it, and Adrian had inserted himself without warning. For the men under him, that could hardly have been welcome. What caught Nina's ear, though, was a single form of address. Your Grace. Her ears went sharp.
"Your Grace? Wait—Young Master, you don't mean—"
She tried to twist around. Adrian turned her head forward again and said, low,
"I do."
"What? You're really a duke? Then how did you—"
Don't tell me it went the way the book did. Please say you didn't kill them all and take the ducal seat.
"It was something. I'd never seen Your Grace that angry. Who'd have thought he'd draw a sword in the council hall? The old duke went white and shot straight to his feet."
Jin drawled it, half a sneer, and Nina only grew more lost, looking from one of them to the other. Jin grinned at the look on her face. Louis frowned at him, quite deliberately.
"Sir Jin, it will not do to tease Lady Nina. Though I will grant we took quite a scolding that day, trying to stop Your Grace."
"So what actually happened?"
Nina raised her voice, and Adrian answered.
"I was driven out."
"What?"
She stared, thrown, and Jin supplied the rest with helpful cheer.
"Out of the ducal house."
"I thought it would come down to one of two things. We kill every one of them, or they kill us."
Louis smiled, faint.
"We returned to Black Shield Castle and decided, for the time being, to keep our heads down. What remained of the Black Knights had to be gathered back together as well."
"Hell didn't have anything on it."
Jin ground his teeth. His eyes flicked to Nina.
"Even so. Because of that, we lived."