The Cracks Within
“That’ll be ten thousand won.”
“Thank you.”
Seo Min-ah bought a hangover cure at the convenience store in front of the company and slipped it into her pocket first.
‘It’s not good to let other people see this.’
Choi Gyeong-rok was incredibly popular within the company. The female employees without boyfriends often flirted with him by bringing coffee or handmade snacks, but everyone knew those actions tended to spark unpleasant rumors behind their backs.
“Ugh… If rumors like that started circulating about me, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
Keeping an eye on her surroundings, Min-ah quietly slipped into the office.
It was still early, so the only person inside was Gyeong-rok.
‘Oppa’s probably still asleep…’
Gyeong-rok didn’t look like someone suffering from a hangover at all.
Min-ah quietly approached him and held out the hangover remedy.
“Um… Team Leader. Please… take this.”
“Seo Min-ah? What is this?”
Gyeong-rok accepted the packet and gave a small smile. It was a warm, human smile he rarely showed to others.
“Well… ah… my boyfriend was a bit rude yesterday…”
“It’s fine. I really was the one who suggested we drink first.”
Gyeong-rok answered with a soft laugh. He opened the hangover cure and downed it in one go.
“Next time you should drink with us too, Min-ah. Is Min-woo doing okay? We drank quite a bit yesterday.”
“Ahaha… Yes… He should be fine.”
Even as she answered that he would be okay, her stomach twisted with guilt.
She had left home early to hand over the hangover cure before anyone else noticed, but in doing so she hadn’t bought one for Min-woo.
For a moment, a small pang of guilt stabbed at her heart.
‘…You’ll be okay, right, Oppa?’
Once back at her desk, Min-ah tried contacting Min-woo, but there was no reply.
—-
“The test results are normal.”
“What? But yesterday… and again this morning… my thing is…”
The doctor glanced at the test sheet, then at my face, and adjusted his glasses.
“You’re still quite young, aren’t you? In this age group, it’s usually psychological.”
“Then…”
He slid the test results back toward me.
“Your male hormone levels are normal, blood pressure and blood sugar are fine. There’s nothing particularly suspicious.”
“......”
This can’t be…
“Have you been under a lot of stress lately?”
“A little… yes.”
“Work problems, relationship issues, that sort of thing. You’d be surprised how much those things affect you.”
I couldn’t answer.
The doctor didn’t seem to find my silence strange and continued.
“For young people, it’s often the mind rather than the body. The more you fixate on it, the worse it gets.”
“…Then will it get better if I take medicine?”
“It can help in the short term. But resolving the root cause is more important.”
I quietly stood up and paid the bill.
I trudged out and headed for the bus stop, only to see the bus I needed pull away right in front of me.
Next one in 18 minutes.
I covered my face and let out a low groan. The people around me gave me strange looks, but I didn’t have the energy to care.
It was a relief that there was nothing physically wrong with me. At the same time, it left behind an even more horrifying problem.
It meant the issue was all in my head.
‘Why am I…?’
It wasn’t that I didn’t love Min-ah or didn’t find her attractive.
So why, why! Of all people, why couldn’t I become a man in front of Min-ah?
After moving in with Min-ah, I had quit smoking, but today I wanted a cigarette more than ever.
…No. If I smoked and it didn’t help, it would only make things worse…
“Huuu…”
I sighed loud enough for the people around me to hear, but no one paid attention to me anymore.
They had apparently decided I was just a slightly strange person.
I had thought that once I married Min-ah, everything would be fine.
Yet here I was, right before our wedding, crumbling in the most important part of being a man.
—-
Even though it was a weekday evening, the VIP Fitness Center was quite crowded.
The whir of treadmills and the clang of metal weights rang endlessly in my ears.
Kang Min-woo walked inside with heavy steps.
Having just come from the urologist, his whole body felt especially drained.
‘Psychological, huh…’
His mind was a mess.
He had no idea what he was supposed to do to fix it.
After changing in the locker room and stepping out, Min-woo habitually scanned his surroundings.
It didn’t take long before a familiar voice reached him.
“Ugh… No way… I can’t do this.”
“You still have five left.”
Min-ah shook her head as if she couldn’t believe it and cried out.
“Team Leader, you always say five are left and then make me do ten more!”
“That’s what exercise is.”
Before he realized it, Min-woo’s gaze had drifted in that direction.
In front of the mirror, Min-ah was doing bodyweight squats.
Her sweat-soaked hair clung to her forehead, and her breathing looked quite labored.
Standing beside her with his arms crossed was Choi Gyeong-rok.
“Your knees are caving in. You’ll get hurt like that.”
“It’s so hard…”
“That’s why it’s called exercise. If you don’t want it to be hard, you should’ve stayed home and played.”
“Kieeeek… Save me, Team Leader…!”
When Min-ah grumbled, Gyeong-rok let out a small chuckle.
It was a little different from the image of him at work that Min-ah had described.
Rather than a rigid team leader, he felt more like…
An older brother she had known for a long time.
With an expression that was almost tearful, Min-ah continued her squats.
Gyeong-rok only occasionally pointed out her form.
He never once laid a hand on her body.
They were just the kind of comments anyone teaching exercise would make.
Yet Min-woo couldn’t tear his eyes away from the two of them.
The scene he had witnessed in the underground parking lot flashed through his mind.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
His heart was pounding. Why?
Why was he getting hard now, when it hadn’t worked in bed?
No. That couldn’t be.
He hurriedly looked away.
But his eyes kept drifting back.
Min-ah was smiling. And beside her stood Gyeong-rok.
His heartbeat quickened even more.
“Oh, Oppa!”
“Min-woo, you’re here? Min-ah, keep going for a bit longer.”
“Aaaah! Save me, Oppa!”
It wasn’t because her playful, laughing face was too pretty that he had gotten hard. That was a sight he saw all the time.
“Min-ah. Gyeong-rok hyung. Were you two working out together?”
“Oppa! The Team Leader definitely said you’d be waiting for me at the gym!”
The moment she saw me, she abandoned the exercise she had been doing, ran over on wobbling legs, and threw herself into my arms.
Naturally, I wrapped my arms around her small shoulders and patted her back.
“But he said I had to keep exercising until you got here… Hic… Here it comes again!”
“Seo Min-ah. Why did you conveniently leave out the part where you asked me to teach you too, not just Min-woo?”
When had the two of them gotten so good at this back-and-forth?
A strange emotion welled up inside me. Jealousy? It was similar, but not quite.
…It was hard to explain.
I barely managed to calm my newly awakened erection, stroked Min-ah’s hair, and looked at Gyeong-rok.
“Sorry I’m a bit late. Hyung… could you teach me too?”
“Of course. Go warm up first.”
“No, Oppa! We need to run away right now…!”
At my declaration that I would work out, Min-ah’s face turned deathly pale.
Her panicked expression was so cute that I stroked her hair once more before walking over to Gyeong-rok.
“Today I want to do legs too. Min-ah, we should do it together, right?”
“Kyaaaak… Now there’s one more…!”
Gyeong-rok smiled gently as he watched Min-ah wail and me stretching.
At the time, I didn’t really understand why Min-ah had said we needed to run away.
—-
“Ugh… My legs are shaking so much, Oppa… I’m going to go wash up…”
Normally she would have waited until they got home, but… the smell of sweat was practically radiating off her body.
“I’ll… go too, Min-ah.”
I should have just listened to Min-ah and run away. Wasn’t he a bit more relaxed on the first day?
Gyeong-rok simply smiled without a word and patted my shoulder.
The shower room was quiet. Gyeong-rok washed without saying anything.
I knew I shouldn’t, but my eyes kept drifting to his body.
He was definitely over forty, right…? Those solid muscles made it hard to look away.
“Your legs don’t hurt too much?”
“Ah… It’s okay for now.”
Gyeong-rok nodded.
“They’ll hurt more tomorrow.”
“Hyung… you can speak casually. We decided to be like brothers, but hearing you use formal speech all the time feels a bit…”
At my words, Gyeong-rok turned his head and grinned.
“Should I? Then you should treat me more comfortably too. Like a real neighborhood hyung.”
I didn’t have anyone as cool as him around me before…
“But is something going on?”
“Huh? What do you mean, something going on…”
He turned off the shower, dried himself with the towel he had brought, and asked again.
“You just seem a bit tired? Your expression hasn’t been great since you walked into the gym earlier.”
“…Ah…”
Would it feel better if I told him honestly? That after seeing the two of them together, I thought they looked good together.
No, that when I saw them together, I unconsciously imagined the two of them having sex.
More precisely, that I had started wanting to watch them.
…He would think I was crazy. If I said I wanted to see my own girlfriend having sex with another man.
“I’m just a little tired, Hyung. Do you want to have dinner together again today? The three of us with Min-ah.”
“Hmm. Sure. Since we had sushi yesterday, how about meat today? I know a good place.”
…If it was a place Hyung knew well, it probably wasn’t somewhere I could afford.
“I know a good place too. You paid yesterday, so today it’s my treat.”