A Warm Morning and the Soaring Ambition of My Reverse-Grooming Plan
The gentle morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, accompanied by the cheerful chirping of birds. Nothing beats those two for shaking off sleep, heh heh. Especially when you're waking up in a luxurious bedroom that could rival a five-star hotel!
“Ughhhhaaaa!!”
Yep, starting the day without a good stretch just doesn't feel right. I slowly extended my arms, running my fingers through my flowing golden hair. Then I glanced down at my now-familiar voluptuous figure and reminisced about the days since my arrival in this new world.
First off, the name of this body I'd possessed was Serenia Lohengrin. The only daughter of one of the empire's few count families—in other words, the precious jewel of the Lohengrin household. I'd been thrust into her body when she was just thirteen years old.
That time was really quite the shock...
When I first possessed her, the mere fact that I'd been isekai'd was enough to throw me into total confusion. But what hit me even harder was...
Come on, who gets isekai'd the day after breaking up with their long-term girlfriend?!
That's right. The day I woke up in this world was the morning after my sudden breakup with the woman I'd been dating for years. Just the shock of a long relationship ending in an instant was hard enough to process, but being thrown into an entirely new world on top of that? The first week was basically a blur of me staring blankly at the ceiling, completely useless.
Well, I barely remember it now anyway.
But after living fourteen years as the young lady of the Lohengrin family, my life as Serenia had gradually come to mean more to me than my previous existence. These days, my memories of being a man were growing faint.
As I was lost in reminiscing about those fourteen years of life as a noble daughter, a crisp knock sounded from outside the door.
“Come in.”
“Did you sleep well, my lady?”
The one who opened the door and stepped inside was Selena, the stunning black-haired, black-eyed head maid. She'd once served as my personal attendant, but her exceptional competence had earned her the role of head maid, where she now oversaw the entire household. And when she had spare time, she still looked after me personally. I couldn't be more grateful.
“Heh heh, Selena, don't you think that title's gotten a bit stale by now?”
“I don't know any proper titles for someone who starts their day with such an undignified stretch.”
“You insolent wench! How dare you speak so rudely to the empire's exalted count?!”
Seizing the moment, I shouted dramatically at her. But instead of calling me “Count~” like I'd hoped...
“Ouch!”
What came flying was Selena's devastatingly powerful knuckle to my forehead.
Ugh, she used to be so cute back in the day.
“I'll consider calling you Count if you give me a raise.”
Look at this brazen woman.
“Sorry to say, Selena, but your salary increase has been postponed for three months by order of the count.”
Rubbing my throbbing forehead, I shot her a look that said, What are you going to do about it? Selena graciously responded with a gaze full of utter contempt.
Ah, the taste of power really is sweet...!
Anyway, the reason this whole situation was even possible was because I—Serenia Lohengrin—had successfully inherited the title of count! After fourteen years of living as the picture-perfect ideal noble daughter, ascending to the title so quickly had been entirely feasible!!
“My lady, you have the expression of someone having extremely shameless thoughts right now.”
“Must be your imagination?”
Last night at the celebration party for my ascension, I'd drunk top-shelf wine like it was water. And I'd done it while surrounded by beautiful noble ladies. Hehehe, it had been glorious.
“Selena, when should we throw the next party?”
“You're not seriously thinking of the count title as nothing more than an excuse to host parties, are you...?”
A brief three-second silence followed.
Selena stared intently at my shameless face before letting out a heavy sigh.
“My lady, do you by any chance remember what you did to the young lady from the Defer family last night?”
When Selena pressed the question, I stiffened slightly and answered carefully.
“Umm... I gave her a flower bouquet...?”
“That was the young lady from the Winterguard family.”
“Th-then maybe I accidentally touched someone's chest while dancing...?”
“That was the young lady from the Persen family.”
“Hmm, then...”
When I couldn't come up with anything else, Selena sighed deeply and snapped.
“You kissed the Defer young lady with wine still in your mouth! You even said something ridiculous like, 'Wine should always be passed from mouth to mouth!'”
Selena's face flushed red as she yelled. Seeing her like this after so long was actually kind of adorable.
“Oh dear, Selena. Were you embarrassed? But wine really should be transferred mouth to mouth...”
When she raised her hand again in that familiar knuckle-flicking stance, I quickly shut my mouth and assumed a defensive posture.
“But the Defer young lady seemed to really enjoy it...”
“Shut your mouth.”
“Yes ma'am.”
Why was she making such a big deal when the other person liked it too? As expected, Selena was such a prude.
“Honestly, you've finally inherited the count title. Shouldn't you fix that playboy behavior at least a little?”
“Playboy? And if anything, couldn't you call it practice for finding suitable marriage partners worthy of the count?”
In a way, it wasn't entirely untrue. The failure of my long-term relationship before the possession had been such a massive shock that I'd become extremely picky about potential partners. As a result, I'd ended up meeting a lot of women.
Definitely not because I just enjoyed being around lots of beautiful young ladies. Nope.
Selena looked at me with clear disapproval before turning sharply on her heel and continuing.
“Oh, right. The magazine you posed for last week was published yesterday. While you were enjoying the party, my lady.”
“Oh! Show me, show me right now! Hurry! I'm getting dizzy from waiting!”
I'd done the photoshoot to commemorate my ascension to count last week. I'd been looking forward to it for an entire week, and it was finally out.
Selena handed me the magazine with an expression of pure disbelief.
“Sigh... People really need to know what you're actually like. I can't believe that a perverted playboy like you is seen by the public as the perfect noble lady!”
“Where else would you find such a perfect noble lady?”
With a theatrical flourish, I opened to the page featuring me. There I was—a breathtaking beauty with curly golden hair, looking back at me from the glossy paper.
“Wow, now that's what I call a model, right, Selena?”
“Indeed. It would've been better if you'd just become a professional model instead of inheriting the count title...”
“Look, there's even a survey here! First place in 'Noble ladies of the empire's most desired marriage partner,' first place in 'Most beautiful person in the empire!' And first place in 'Most likely to look good in a naked apron'... wait, never mind that last one. Anyway, Selena, don't you think you should be paying me for this kind of work?”
“Ugh, your narcissism is actually impressive.”
Selena stared at me with eyes that clearly said she couldn't understand me at all, then let out another sigh.
“Sigh... So, now that such a perfect lady has become the count, I'm genuinely curious what your first official duty will be.”
At Selena's skeptical question, I grinned like the true count I now was and answered boldly.
“Listen carefully, Selena?”
The one thing I'd wanted to do for years while living as the count's daughter.
“First, I'm going to adopt about three beautiful girls as my daughters. Then I'll raise them to perfectly match my ideal type and make all three of them my countesses!!”
After meeting so many noble ladies over the years, I'd realized something. My standards for romantic partners had become impossibly high. No matter who I met, I could never be fully satisfied—there was always something that didn't quite meet my expectations.
That's when the idea struck me.
What if I just raised the perfect partner myself according to my own standards?
Yeah. Even now, it still struck me as a truly genius idea. No one else in the empire could possibly have thought of something like this.
With a triumphant expression befitting my new status as count, I turned toward Selena, eager to see her look of admiration at my grand ambition.
But what I saw instead was Selena frantically scribbling something on a piece of paper.
“S-Selena, what are you doing...?”
“Writing my letter of resignation.”
Hearing those words, I didn't even bother putting on shoes. I dashed over barefoot and clung desperately to the hem of her skirt.
“No, you can't, Selena! After all we've been through together?”
“I don't recall ever agreeing to serve a crazy person who plans to build a harem by adopting little girls.”
“Fine, I'll give you a raise! I'll buy you as many macarons as you want!!”
“Get your hands off me, you perverted lesbian psychopathic lolicon criminal.”
“Okay, 1.5 times—no, double your salary!!”
“Are you trying to buy me along with the raise...?”
Selena muttered something about how my usual behavior had always seemed suspicious. I tried to reassure the horrified woman.
“No, don't worry! You're emergency rations, so you're safe!”
“Get away from me, you rapist!!”
With that final shout, Selena stormed out of my room.
Along with another stinging knuckle to my forehead.
Hmm, it looked like getting Selena's approval would take quite some time. I could push the plan forward without her permission, but if the head maid quit, the entire estate would fall apart. Still, I had no intention of abandoning my scheme.
No matter what, I'm going to enjoy a yuri harem in this new world filled with women who perfectly match my tastes!
Once again engraving that grand plan into my heart, I kicked open the door with renewed energy and stepped out. Completely unaware of what kind of future this decision would bring.