Chapter 11
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 11
Chapter Title: A Thousand, They Said (2)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
In the midst of this tragedy, there was only one thing I could do.
"...Attendant."
"Yes."
"Contact the Minister."
The attendant wordlessly touched the crystal orb.
A moment later, the Foreign Affairs Minister appeared, his face etched with the same exhaustion I'd seen on Monday.
"Minister."
- Hm? Central Officer. It's not Monday—what's going on? Ah, is the pilgrimage group here for their report?
"That's right. And... I have something else to say."
- I'm listening.
I took a deep breath.
Then, suppressing my emotions, I spoke in a low voice.
"The numbers don't match."
- What?
"They said a minimum of a thousand, two thousand at most."
- ...Did you just speak informally? Have you been drinking?
"Two thousand was the max! Three thousand—three freaking thousand showed up!"
You bald-faced lying son of a bitch, unfortunately, those words never reached the Minister's ears.
The quick-witted attendant had yanked the crystal orb away in a flash.
Thanks to that, all my curses and swears echoed thunderously into the empty air and scattered.
And the moment the silence broke, the Sensory Officers, plunged into panic, began voicing their despair one by one.
"C-C-C-Central Officer, what do we do now?"
"Screening three thousand will take days of all-nighters!"
"At least four days... Ah, no way. F-First, let me have a drink..."
"Huuuh! I-I can't do it. This isn't what we agreed to!"
The Gustatory Officer denying reality, the Tactile Officer broken from calculating headcounts per person, the Auditory Officer fumbling for booze with trembling hands, and even the Olfactory Officer clawing at the wall with his front paws like he wanted to revert to the wild.
Terror of the overwhelming workload spread in an instant. Even the attendants started whispering among themselves, their faces growing darker by the second.
We hadn't even started, and morale was already hitting rock bottom.
"Everyone, let's think about this calmly—"
That's when someone shouted.
"Look over there! The pilgrimage group's coming!"
Everyone whipped their heads toward the window. And we all witnessed it.
The pilgrimage legion, filling the plains, slowly advancing toward us.
Screams erupted from all sides.
"R-Run! Death! Death is coming!"
"The monsters of nonstop 24-hour overtime are here!"
"I quit! Accept my resignation!"
"I-I can't! I wanna go home!"
Fear bred chaos, chaos bred madness, and madness circled back to fear.
People who had barely clung to their sanity finally lost it to the creeping horror.
Running every which way, wailing in despair, fervently praying to the "God of Quitting Time."
As if some bullshit god like that even existed. The Gustatory Officer was straight-up sitting there writing her will.
In this hellscape, the only one still holding it together was me. All alone.
Was it the rage at the Minister who'd lied about the numbers? Calmness overtook my fear.
'Damn it, at this rate, everyone's gonna bolt.'
If things stayed like this, the outcome was obvious.
Overcome by fear, they'd abandon their posts and refuse duty.
And then what?
If these idiots shirked their jobs and ran, the blame would fall squarely on me, the one in charge. And that would lead to one inevitable result.
'Neglecting state affairs, mistreating honored guests, and tarnishing the nation's dignity!'
At that point, a clean escape wouldn't even be on the table. Something far worse awaited. Probably...
Execution.
Like my predecessor, my head would roll.
My body flinched involuntarily.
'I can't let that happen!'
I had to snap these sheep back to their senses somehow.
With that thought, amid the chaos and madness, I quietly drew in a breath. Then,
"Everyone, quiet!!!"
My booming voice brought instant silence, drawing all eyes to me.
I seized the moment.
"Nothing changes if we carry on like this, everyone. You know this was always coming."
One attendant cried out in despair.
"Central Officer, we can't handle this many on our own! We won't survive it!"
"Hear, hear!"
"Let's just close the border ourselves!"
If you idiots run, I'll be the one the Minister kills, you fools.
Suppressing my rising anger, I replied calmly.
"You're right, everyone. It's too much for us officials alone."
"Then—"
"But it's something only we can do. Running away scared won't make them vanish. We have to face it eventually."
My words hit home, silencing the attendants.
"Listen up, all of you."
What we needed now wasn't sympathy—it was solutions and direction.
"I'm assigning jurisdictions starting now. Tactile Officer, Gustatory Officer."
My call was met with dazed mutterings.
"Th-Th-Th-Three thousand..."
"O Almighty God of Quitting Time, please have mercy on us poor souls and strike down that pilgrimage horde with lightning and wipe them all out—"
My direct subordinates were losing it worse than the attendants.
"Sita, Lacrissa!!!"
"Hyaaak!"
"Kyaaak!"
I bellowed right in their ears, snapping them back to reality with screams.
"You two handle cargo. Prioritize the transport wagons. I'll assign half the attendants—use them fully. Got it?"
Chaos leads to carelessness, and carelessness opens the door to crime and smuggling.
This was prime time for smugglers to get bold.
The odds of them sneaking in with the pilgrims? Damn near 100%.
I wasn't letting that slide.
"G-Got it!"
"Yes!"
Two Sensory Officers left.
"Next, Olfactory Officer, Auditory Officer."
"Yes."
"Yesss."
They stepped forward immediately. Quick responses too.
These two had been here long enough to recover faster. Good.
"You two—"
"Then we'll handle personnel screenings with you, Central Officer."
"...Right. Just do it like always. No additions."
I didn't need to ask much. They were pros at it already.
As long as their minds didn't break, they were the most reliable.
Then the Olfactory Officer frowned and offered,
"Hm, but that'd take forever. How about shortening screening times? Or pre-approving kids and elders."
Solid point.
Five minutes per person was way too long for this scale.
'Even pulling all-nighters for three days straight wouldn't cut it.'
Factor in the stamina drain, and it was straight-up exploitation.
Like he said, kids and elders posed low risk—clearing them early would lighten our load a ton.
Not a bad idea.
But I shook my head.
"No exceptions."
At the Immigration Control Office's ironclad rule, the Olfactory Officer flinched.
"Same as always. Five minutes each. Every single pilgrim screened."
No special treatment for anyone crossing the border. No matter who.
Race, gender, age, status—none of it mattered.
I reminded them of the unchanging truth since the Office's founding.
"No exceptions."
The Olfactory Officer nodded in understanding and murmured,
"...Got it. No exceptions."
Turning to those still awaiting orders,
"The rest of you attendants, handle paperwork and personal effects checks. Split into two shifts for day-night rotations. Clear?"
"Yes!"
"Internal security goes to the Border Guard. You all focus on your tasks."
"Understood!"
With structure and goals in place, the fear in their eyes began to fade.
Now, just instill some confidence that we could pull it off.
"Everyone. No need to panic. Nothing to fear. Just give six times your usual effort."
"..."
"..."
The mood plummeted again.
The stares aimed my way were downright murderous.
"...W-Wow."
In the silence, only the Gustatory Officer let out a timid cheer.
I felt a twinge of guilt saying it myself. Six times was a bit much.
'But what choice do we have?'
And did they even grasp the massive rewards at stake?
Nail this, and half their lives were set. A bright future awaited.
I reminded them quietly.
"Full paid five-day holiday for everyone. Triple performance bonuses."
"Let's do this!"
"Fighting! Let's go!"
Roaring cheers shot morale through the roof. Simple folks.
Desire conquers even fear—the greatest motivator.
Once the engine starts, the rest is easy.
A little push, and we're golden.
I seized the momentum.
"Alright, let's get to it. Three thousand three hundred seventy-four. Everyone feeling good?"
"No!"
"Damn right, I like the honesty! One thing only: money's waiting!"
"Money's waiting! Vacation's waiting!"
"No incidents! No incidents! Woo! Woo! Woo!"
The brave inspectors bellowed like they were heading into a final battle, faces grim with resolve.
Riding that wave, I gave the order.
"Open the border!"
-Grind... creak.
The gates groaned open ponderously, and radiant golden dawn light poured through the widening gap.
See? Even the sun was cheering us on.
At last, the border flung its arms wide to the world. And I shouted,
"Welcome to the Crossroad Kingdom, pilgrims!"
First impressions matter most.
Make it crisp, clear, and friendly.
'Come on, then, pilgrims.'
You're just fodder for our success anyway.
No matter how many, it'll end eventually.
And for that moment, we'll stand tall against you.
Three thousand stamps? Piece of cake.
As I flashed a bright smile and bowed politely, the frontmost figure replied with a grin.
"Oh my, I didn't expect such a warm welcome. So courteous."
A soft voice rang out amid the dazzling golden dawn light.
Wait a sec.
That's when I realized one crucial fact.
It wasn't morning—it was afternoon.
The sun hung high in the sky.
Warm rays baked my back.
So what the hell was this blinding light hitting my face?
The woman at the pilgrimage forefront took a step forward.
With her came a golden halo from behind, crossing the gates.
"We've finally arrived here under the Lord's guidance."
Sky-blue hair danced beautifully in the wind.
As if thrilled by this encounter.
The Saintess, brimming with holy power, greeted me.
"May the Holy Church's blessings be upon you all."
I screamed internally.
'What do I do if the boss shows up right at the start?!'