Chapter 109
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 109
Chapter Title: Merchant's Son (4)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
It's scary.
That expression didn't suit Erzena at all, so I tilted my head.
"Are you worried about ghosts coming out at night or something?"
This house was old, sure, but there was no way anyone was buried here.
It did get a bit dark at night, though.
She gave me a look like she thought that was ridiculous.
"That's not it. And even if there were real ghosts, they couldn't do anything to me."
Come to think of it, she was right.
No ghost in its right mind would hang around holy power. They'd achieve enlightenment just brushing against it.
'Not ghosts, then, and not the darkness either.'
What could someone who received the gods' love and could even revive dragons possibly fear?
I racked my brain, but I couldn't get a read on it.
"So what is scaring you?"
What could be so frightening that she came out to the living room in the dead of night with Elaine, singing to calm herself down?
"It's just..."
She trailed off, her gaze dropping downward.
Erzena hesitated for a long moment, stroking Elaine's brown hair as the girl slept peacefully in her lap, before finally forcing the words out.
"...I thought I'd lost you forever that day."
Her quiet words echoed softly.
That day.
I knew exactly which day she meant right away.
The day I uttered the Dragon Word.
And nearly died from the backlash.
- Throb.
Just thinking about it made a faint ache bloom near my heart.
"But I came back alive, thanks to you."
I shrugged like it was no big deal.
It had been serious, no doubt. But nothing to be scared of.
I'd simply done what I could—what I had to do.
Besides, I'd recovered fully thanks to her holy power.
What was there to worry about?
"That's all in the past now, so you don't need to—"
"How can you call it 'just the past'!"
Erzena's voice rose sharply.
"You really almost died that day. Do you know? They even judged it hopeless!"
Her tone was fierce and resolute—nothing like her usual self.
"Nngh..."
Elaine frowned and squirmed at the noise.
I stared at Erzena in shock too.
It was the first time I'd seen her like this—truly shaken—since we'd started living together.
A golden aura rippled violently, as if echoing her emotions.
Erzena gazed at it with conflicted eyes.
"No matter how much holy power I poured into you, you didn't stir for so long... Do you have any idea how worried I was? How terrified?"
"..."
"It was probably the first time. Not prayer, but outright begging the Lord. To spare you. Take my holy power, take everything—just please let him live."
Her bitter mutter trembled.
"Isn't it ridiculous? Praying more desperately to Him than when I was the Saintess, blindly faithful and devout."
"...But that's exactly why I survived. Because of you."
That was a fact.
"That's why I'm scared. I was scared."
She pressed a hand to her chest.
"Scared that I might not be able to save the man who saved me from fanaticism and blind faith."
"..."
"Elaine too. She says even now, closing her eyes brings back that clear image of you collapsing. Munnatsil must feel the same."
Erzena's eyes began to redden at the edges.
"When you woke up, it didn't feel real. I was just relieved—happy you were alive."
"But now, back in your hometown, seeing you smile with your parents and Noah... That's when it hit me, like a knife to the gut."
"Nathan. How much you mean to me—to us. What a world without you would really be like..."
That expression.
I knew it well.
It was the same one I'd worn when I lost the Visual Officer.
The death of someone precious.
Erzena had watched that play out right in front of her for days.
Me, teetering on the edge of life and death in that storm, then three days in a coma.
What must the ones left behind have felt, waiting for me to open my eyes?
Those emotions now trailed down her cheeks.
"How much you mean to me..."
She swallowed the rest with her tears.
Then she took my hand.
"Never throw yourself away like that alone again."
Her hand rested softly atop mine.
I stared at it silently.
"..."
It was warm.
Like her holy power.
'Never throw yourself away alone.'
I reflected on her final words.
They came from worry, from seeing me as precious—wanting to protect me.
I spoke quietly.
"That day, I had a dream."
"...A dream?"
"Yes. Like a life flashing before my eyes—back to when I first met Director Haillin."
Erzena, who'd been looking at me sadly, suddenly narrowed her eyes.
"On the brink of death, and the person who comes to mind is the director?"
I quickly added,
"But it wasn't her."
"What do you mean?"
A dream of the past, yet speaking of my present role.
"Sunset light like a halo, a neutral voice that knew my present and past."
I gave a brief description of that someone.
"Someone who knows your present and past, entering dreams..."
She pondered for a moment, then stared at me in shock.
"N-No way..."
She didn't need to finish.
"Yeah. Probably."
We both suspected the same identity.
"That being told me: Don't lose your初心. Remember the resolve you made at the start—to see it through to the end, tragedy or comedy."
"Your初心...?"
I nodded lightly.
"I'm sorry, Erzena. If there's anything I can do, I'll do it all. Especially if I must."
That's how I saved you.
By throwing my whole body into it.
That's how I saved Elaine, Munnatsil, Kirva, and everyone.
No compromises, no bending—just pure effort.
I laid my true feelings bare, matter-of-factly.
"I never want to regret again."
"That's so you. Foolish."
Even though I'd gently refused her plea, she nodded like she understood.
"No, more than that—you received a visitation?"
"Not certain. They didn't say who they were."
"...But this doesn't feel like coincidence."
"What do you mean?"
She stroked Elaine's cheek as the girl slept, changing the subject.
"...I like it here. Your home, the Immigration Control Office, the Sensory Officers, Elaine. Even Munnatsil."
"Really? That's a relief."
"Though I don't love how Munnatsil sneaks into your room every night."
"Ah."
Too honest.
That's why I'd started locking my door lately.
She continued,
"This already feels like home to me. But... Noah told me about the Church while you were out in the yard."
"The Church?"
Now I was the one startled, asking back.
Come to think of it, Noah had been shocked to see Erzena at the office.
- The Church is searching for the Saintess like mad.
My little sister's words finally clicked.
"The pilgrimage group arrived at the Church's southern branch. And Mohaim's probably with them."
A name I hadn't heard in a while. Mohaim Espirence.
The blind swordsman—the paladin who'd gone back for answers.
"But it's been a whole month, and no word of the Pope's authority shaking. That means he's silencing the pilgrimage group somehow, now that they know the truth."
Erzena reached out toward the holy power rippling around her as she spoke.
"With those who know the truth being persecuted, is it right for me to stay here?"
She'd already abandoned her role as Saintess.
No obligations or duties binding her anymore.
'That's why she just calls herself Erzena.'
Yet her holy power—the clear proof of divine favor—swirled abundantly around her.
Why?
A mission? Revelation? Or just a mark of grace?
"I'm scared, Nathan."
Her shoulders trembled.
"I want to stay here, by your side. With the office folks, Elaine, Munnatsil. But I can't let those who know the truth suffer in the false Pope's hands."
Erzena, vulnerable for the first time.
"What... should I do? What choice should I make?"
Enveloped in golden light, loved by the divine, yet trembling in anxiety.
Seeing her like that oddly calmed my own mind.
I wasn't the only anxious one.
Even she, who I'd thought found peace away from the Church, had been worrying all along.
She'd already done her utmost for us.
She could've just stayed as a refugee, but she'd volunteered as our healer.
Like a big sister.
But even she harbored constant unease and worry.
Responsibility for her holy power, liberation from the corrupt Church.
Those two churned wildly inside her.
The woman who'd stood by me unwaveringly since the kidnapping.
Now she was shaking before me for the first time.
'Then...'
Now it was my turn to support her.
"Erzena. You've overcome so much already."
This time, I took her hand.
'With or without the golden light, you've done so much for me.'
She'd even become a second guardian for Elaine, asleep on her lap, and a conversation partner for Munnatsil.
Hard to imagine life without her now.
"We've all... been through a lot."
Moonlight cast her pale.
But it couldn't hide her flushed cheeks.
If anything, the contrast made her even more beautiful—not my imagination.
I looked straight into her face and spoke softly.
"On the flip side, that means we have a whole month to think it over."
"Time to... think?"
"You can stay here. If you do, I'll pull every string to keep you in the Crossroad Kingdom."
Plenty of ways.
Request citizenship, stay as an official refugee, even start a new church here.
We'd find a path somehow.
"Or you can go. Your power isn't meant just for the office. It might be returned for a greater purpose."
Even if she tried ignoring it coldly, given her nature, it'd weigh on her conscience.
Duty or not didn't matter.
If she felt responsible, she should follow through.
That'd be the one way to avoid regrets.
"Whether tragedy or comedy, let's think it through together and see it to the end. No regrets."
I passed on the dream being's words verbatim.
"No regrets... right."
She wiped her tears, repeating my last words.
"So like you. Optimistic, unshakable... and foolish."
"I'll take that as praise, minus the last part."
Then, as if resolved, her voice calmed as she said,
"Then... one favor?"
"As long as it's not lending money, co-signing, putting the house in joint ownership, or encouraging smuggling and immigration violations, sure."
"Pfft. What're you even saying."
Ah, she laughed.
Golden eyes sparkling with simple joy.
Erzena spoke cautiously.
"Just... close your eyes."
"My eyes?"
"Hurry."
She nodded insistently.
Such a small request.
I closed my eyes slowly.
I tilted my head and murmured,
"But why do I need to close my—"
In that instant.
Before I could stop her,
Before I could pull back,
Without warning,
Our lips met.
In the dead of night, everyone fast asleep.
Just over three seconds.
Human warmth clashing with the chill night air.
And under the faint, pale moonlight—not brilliant sunlight—gently dispelling the darkness.
"I love you, Nathan. Truly."
She'd crossed the line in my heart.