Chapter 103
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 103
Chapter Title: Dream
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When I came to my senses, I knew it right away.
"Well then, it seems I have to persuade you—who turned down both the Foreign Affairs Ministry and the Intelligence Bureau—to become an Immigration Officer."
This was a dream.
"...Pardon?"
"Oh dear. You must be exhausted. Can't say I blame you. Word is, the Foreign Affairs Ministry hounded you for a full four hours straight."
A voice so familiar it was etched into my bones.
Haillin Metaharasin, looking younger than I'd ever seen her, sat across from me with a sly grin.
"..."
I slowly turned my head.
Not the rain-lashed street in front of my house, but the impeccably tidy parlor of our old family home.
My reflection in the window wasn't the weary young man drained by fatigue, but a nineteen-year-old boy who looked bored with everything.
The Immigration Officer uniform I always wore had been replaced by the unfamiliar academy uniform of the Merchant Academy.
Right. I remembered now.
'This is four years ago—the moment I decided to become an Immigration Officer.'
The Foreign Affairs Ministry and Intelligence Bureau, showering me with sweet promises and rewards to join their ranks.
After turning them all down, the last person to approach me had been her.
And Haillin's very first words...
"Do you have a dream?"
Those had been them.
"Nathan Kell. Age nineteen. Top student at the Merchant Academy. Winner of various mock merchant group competitions. Slated to become the next head of the Kell Merchant Group. Your supervising professor called you a 'genius in merchant operations and customer relations.'"
My personal details flowed effortlessly from the past version of Haillin.
"Yet you've never once voiced what you yourself wanted to be. Not to family, friends, or even your most trusted professor. Isn't that right?"
Her narrowed eyes fixed intently on the boyish me.
"Y-You've been investigating me?"
"Information is lifeblood for anyone drawing a government salary."
She shrugged, adding candidly that she'd snuck a peek without the Intelligence Bureau geezer knowing.
"It intrigued me. No material wants, a solid relationship with your parents, exceptional talent as a merchant. Blessed with a talent manifestation to boot... I figured you'd be brimming with ambition. But no dream?"
Ambition.
My face twisted for a split second.
"That's Father's role. Not mine."
And dreams weren't all that important anyway.
"I'll follow in Father's footsteps and lead the merchant group. That enough for you? Happy now?"
"If so, then why haven't you told anyone around you that succeeding Father is your dream?"
"Because it's obvious!"
The boy—no, I—scowled as I snapped back.
A son inheriting the family business. That was the natural order of things.
Regardless of what I wanted or dreamed of, the business had to carry on.
It just had to. What was a family for otherwise? My will didn't matter. My dreams were irrelevant. There were more important things.
Father's words rang true, every one of them.
- Son, you're destined to take over this house one day, and the entire merchant group after that. But time is short. Rival merchant groups are just waiting to tear us apart, and the nobles covet our wealth—all because we're mere commoners!
- You're different from me, Nathan. Smarter, younger, better in every way. You're the only hope to achieve what I couldn't: elevating our family and merchant group to nobility. Think only of that.
- Noah's still too young. You're all we have right now.
I remembered.
Father's hand on my boyish shoulder had felt unbearably heavy.
- We must succeed more. Grow stronger. Ensure no one dares touch us. By any means necessary.
I knew it all too well.
How Father and our merchant group were treated by others.
Well-established trade routes seized on flimsy pretexts, nobles treating us like walking vaults, rival groups spreading rumors to steal our clients.
Enemies on all sides. All because we lacked a title befitting our wealth.
- If only we had a backer. Even the lowliest title...
For Father, yearning for formal nobility wasn't some flight of fancy. It was a survival goal, born of a lifetime of suppressed inferiority and resentment.
A longing for the status that would protect the merchant group, the house, and the generational wealth.
The boy I was back then lacked the ruthlessness to abandon that lifelong dream of his.
I shoved the thoughts aside with effort and answered her.
"...Why ask such nonsense? You investigated me. You already know everything."
"I want to hear it straight from you."
For the first time, the smile faded from Haillin's face.
"Nathan Kell. What is your dream?"
"Why should I tell you? Why do you even care?"
"Because right now, I'm the one paying closest attention to your words."
Her piercing blue eyes chilled me to the core.
My lips wouldn't move. Not even "Who are you to ask?"
No one I'd met before had ever asked. It had always been a given.
Friends, adults, teachers, neighbors—they all knew what I'd become.
Following in Father's footsteps. A natural, straightforward path.
No one asked what I wanted to be. In their minds, my future was set.
A secure, stable, successful one.
But this woman asked.
What was my dream?
Not money, the merchant group, ambition, or success. What did I want?
"I..."
That silly thing I still hadn't fully let go of. The fancies I'd harbored under the covers night after night.
"I..."
The thing crushed under my parents' expectant gazes, left unsaid.
"I wanted to see the world."
I still held onto it.
Back when I was young enough to dream.
Grandfather would regale me with tales from his adventurer days before he became a merchant.
- Grandpa, tell me an old story!
- Hmm? What kind? Back in my day...
I remembered those countless anecdotes, his raspy voice like a lullaby.
Nearly drowning after setting sail to befriend krakens.
Mistaken for a human trafficker and wanted after freeing women from bandits.
Rebellion erupting the day he blood-brothered with eastern nomads, almost getting him killed.
Stories intertwined with countless races and people. Experiences of scrambling to survive amid war and peace.
I'd soaked up every romantic tale without missing a beat.
A dream.
Yes.
Like Grandfather in his youth, I wanted to see the world.
Not tied to being a merchant or official. Not chained to the life of clinging to money and status that Father had set for me.
"Like my grandfather in his younger days. I want to see the world. Feel it, live it, meet it firsthand."
For the first time, the boy voiced his dream.
"I know it's tough. I don't know how to wield a sword, or any skills to protect myself. It's scary, too. But... someday, I want to face the world. With my own two eyes."
No reply came. Just those quiet blue eyes watching me.
"..."
"..."
Silence.
In that brief stretch, regret at having spoken mingled with relief, then settled. Quiet hung between us.
Clap, clap.
The slow applause shattered the stillness, followed by a satisfied smile.
"Splendid. You claim not to know your path, yet you never forgot the star called your dream. Impressive."
A genuine, warm smile without a hint of playfulness. It eased my tension unknowingly, and I leaned back against the chair.
She spoke softly.
"...Do you resent your father?"
"Pardon? What do you mean?"
"If you had a dream but gave it up for the family business, your father's influence must play a part."
"You investigated that too?"
"Just a hunch. Seemed like a familiar story."
"No, it's not like that. Not really..."
I wished he'd indulged my whims a little, sure. But... he's my father.
I kept those words inside. I'd already spilled too much in the heat of emotion, but this, I wanted to tell Father myself someday.
"I understand your father's heart. The world isn't kind. Cross that single line of 'us,' and everything changes root and branch—your life, your thoughts, even your beliefs."
All you can trust then is money and position, the firmest standards, she added with a chuckle.
"Perhaps your father knew that and clung to it. To protect his family in this harsh world, he gripped the weapon he knew best. And taught his son inside the line only what he knew."
Pity flickered across Haillin's face as she said it.
"We're all the same. We fear difference, hate it, even draw blades over it."
Words I'd once said to Elaine flashed by.
- We're all the same. We fear difference, hate it, seek to destroy over it.
She leaned in close, whispering low.
"But there are brave souls who cross that line. Those who carry their world into others'. It's because of them our world has changed."
At the same time, my present words overlapped in my mind.
- But you bravely crossed that line today. And because of you, princess, your world has changed.
I remembered. Those were the words.
"We are drawn to difference, love it, seek to understand it."
The words that had moved my heart.
'So that's how it carried over to Elaine.'
Haillin smiled faintly at me.
"You said you want to see the world. Like your grandfather. But you don't know how to protect yourself. It's scary, you said. What if the world came to you instead?"
She slowly spread her arms wide.
The setting sun through the back window dyed the world red.
"Standing closest to that merciless line drawn across the land called the border, welcoming countless people and races."
She rose slowly, gazing at me.
"Nathan Kell, please join us. As an Immigration Officer, stand by my side and greet the world together?"
Her hand extended once more.
Just like four years ago.
I stared blankly at the outstretched hand.
"..."
Everything up to here was identical to the past.
My answer hadn't changed, nor had I forgotten the feelings from back then.
'Even though so much has happened in the four years since.'
A wry smile tugged at my lips, accompanied by an inexplicable nostalgia.
If the me from back then had known the chaos the next four years would bring, would I still have become an Immigration Officer?
Meeting precious people, losing them, then scrambling to protect new ones so it wouldn't happen again.
'What would four-years-ago me think of that?'
The boy burdened by duty, gazing wistfully at his dream—how would he view the me now, tenaciously enduring a merciless reality?
Haillin chuckled at my pensive expression.
"Nervous about answering?"
"No, not at all. Just..."
I stammered, opening my mouth.
"I was wondering what my future self—er, Director—would think seeing this."
"And what do you think?"
If I were given another chance to choose.
Just like this moment.
Would I turn back?
I shook my head.
"Even so... I think I'd choose this path."
"Oh? Why?"
The answer was already set.
"I don't want to take back a choice I've made. Even if it brings regret."
I spoke my truth softly.
"Sorrow, tragedy—they all end eventually... I'll believe that and press on."
This was not the boy Nathan Kell's answer, but Central Officer Nathan Kell's.
It echoed the Minister's words too.
- Keep going. Don't bend.
In the end, you have to move forward, whatever you become.
To see it through.
"Only then... can I write a new story. Tragedy or comedy."
The true feelings I'd never shared with anyone.
"..."
Haillin was silent for a long moment, then beamed brightly.
"The most perfect answer."
Unsure how to take the smile, I just bowed my head deeply and glanced at the proffered hand.
"Don't forget that resolve, Central Officer Nathan Kell."
Not until she named my current position.
"...Yes?"
Wait.
Central Officer?
'This dream is set four years ago.'
I jerked my head up.
"D-Director. What did you just—"
But I couldn't finish. The moment I saw her face.
Haillin always had that subtle, knowing smile.
Tall like a desert native, with a cheerful, unfeigned grin.
But the figure before me lacked it.
No. It wasn't Haillin at all.
Someone with the waning sun at their back.
Face shrouded in the blinding light pouring through the window, unrecognizable.
Yet I felt it clearly.
This wasn't a dream.
Some other place masquerading as one.
I cried out in shock.
"Who... who are you!?"
She—no, it—didn't answer.
Just tossed me the faintest hint of a smile.
Shh.
The hand withdrew slowly.
"Don't forget that resolve."
"...Ah."
The first thing I saw upon opening my eyes was a wooden ceiling.
Familiar, if not entirely.
Of course it was.
It was my house.
I tried to sit up slowly.
Or rather, I tried. But I couldn't.
"So heavy..."
Something warm and weighty pinned my entire body.
Turning my gaze, I saw my whole form wrapped in pristine white bandages.
Like a chrysalis bound tight.
"What the..."
Then.
"Mmm..."
Something squirmed on my chest.
At the same time, cascading red hair spilled over me like a waterfall.
"Hm...?"
This color felt familiar somehow.
No sooner had I thought it than someone slowly lifted their head.
Beautiful eyes as red as their locks met my black ones.
"Oh."
"Ah."
We both blurted out upon recognizing each other.
I spoke as calmly and steadily as possible.
"...Good morning, Lady Mnatsil. Might I ask why you're in my—"
"Central Officer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mnatsil flung herself into my arms, bawling loud enough to shake the heavens. And she was heavy.