Crybaby Armor
"Does the president think the Monster Hunters are targeting Dark City?"
"It's just a suspicion for now."
"Th-then isn't that a big problem? We should tell the heroes right away..."
"Enough! It's only a suspicion at this stage. We can decide after gathering more information."
Valencia calmed the flustered Gumiho and continued.
"Anyway, I'm investigating the secret organization using Steel Armor as a member. That's why I didn't tell you or the others that he saved my life. No need to risk anyone developing undue goodwill toward him."
Goodwill. Kindness. For those in power, goodwill was a fatal weakness. Sycophants swarmed to exploit it.
And Steel Armor had saved Valencia's life, no less. Twenty years ago, he'd ended the Hero Association's dark age after Siren's emergence and ushered in a revival. Few heroes didn't respect him—even the arrogant White Knight had stepped up to protect him.
If word got out, many heroes would see Steel Armor differently. They might even think, He's not that bad after all.
And if Steel Armor exploited that goodwill? The Hero Association—no, Dark City itself—would suffer massive damage. The Monster Hunters suspected to be his backers would reap huge benefits. They might even topple the association and seize control of Dark City.
"I planned to reveal everything about Steel Armor once the investigation was complete. Sorry if that hurt your feelings."
"N-no, sir. I was just... surprised..."
Though Valencia apologized, Gumiho's expression remained complicated. Sweat beaded on her forehead. The moment he'd named Monster Hunters as prime suspects, she'd been thrown into panic.
She was that terrified of them.
"It's just suspicion for now, so don't worry too much. And keep this between us."
"Yes, President."
Valencia didn't know Gumiho's full backstory, so he missed how deeply rattled she was.
Thus, the misunderstanding sown by Steel Armor's little act deepened.
And it would yield unexpected results down the line.
*****
As lunchtime rolled around, the three women woke from their deep slumber. While playfully teasing them and preparing a late lunch, my phone rang.
"Oh right, sorry—I forgot. Yeah, yeah, no problem. Nothing special today. I'll head over soon. Yep, I know the place. See you later."
"Hm? Going somewhere?"
"Yeah, had an appointment today but totally spaced with Siren and all."
"Oh? What about lunch?"
"Sorry, you'll have to eat without me. Gotta run now."
The spread looked delicious, but no helping it. This appointment was too important to miss.
I kissed my lovely ladies, who pouted at my leaving, changed clothes, and headed out.
"Man, life's hectic."
I hopped in the car and sped to the rendezvous. Stopped by a nearby shop en route to grab essentials.
Preparations complete, I entered the school—today's venue.
"Haha, so... Huh? Ack?! S-St-Steel Armor?!"
"Steel Armor? Whoa, it's really him!"
People who'd spotted me parking recognized me instantly and gawked. The celebrity life... Everyone knowing you got exhausting and annoying fast.
Though, wearing a suit with a skull-painted mask smack on my face made it impossible not to notice.
"Yep, Steel Armor here. Nice to meet you. Autograph? Handshake? Photo?"
"Uh, uh... H-handshake..."
"Alright, shake on it."
"E-eh?!"
I approached the guy who'd recognized me and shook his hand. He looked thrilled and dazed—understandable. Meeting a TV star by chance and shaking hands? Surreal.
"You want a shake too?"
"No, can I get a photo?"
"Sure. Phone."
"Y-yeah."
The guy was still staring at his hand in a stupor as I slung an arm around his companion for a selfie. She was a woman, after all.
She beamed at the pic.
"Whoa, look! It came out great."
"Looks good."
"I'm a huge Steel Armor fan! But you're the real deal, right? Not some imposter?"
"Of course. I'm the real Steel Armor. Wanna see proof?"
"Whoa!"
"Gah?!"
I lifted his parked car one-handed. For flair, spun it like a basketball. Then set it down gently.
The woman was impressed; the guy horrified.
"What brings you here?"
"Appointment."
"Here?"
"Yep. Catch you later—friends waiting."
"Okay. Nice meeting you."
Grabbed the lavish bouquet worth over $100 from my car and parted from my fans.
Me, with fans? Weird. I'm a villain.
Though plenty prefer villains over heroes. Take Joker—Halloween turns the streets into a Joker convention. Avengers who?
Having fans wasn't so strange.
"Maybe start an Insta? Fan club site? Oh, there she is. Emily~!"
"Huh? Oh! You made it?"
I waved happily at Emily and approached. Nearby folks recoiled at Steel Armor's arrival, clearing a 10-meter radius instantly.
"Sorry I'm late."
"No, I just got here. Play hasn't started. Oh, and flowers too? You didn't have to."
"For Rachel's big debut? Absolutely."
The forgotten appointment: the theater festival. Starring my adorable Rachel as lead!
Originally planned a beach harem bash with Emily, Rachel, Cheetgirl, and Sujeong-i. But Sujeong-i couldn't get off work, Emily was tied up with Rachel's rehearsals, and Cheetgirl stayed home as housecat.
"No Cheetgirl?"
"At home. Her skin draws stares..."
"Fair enough."
Cheetgirl's orange skin dotted with black spots kept her indoors.
Though with me there, would folks even notice her? Shock overshadows lesser shocks.
"Shall we?"
"Yeah, that way."
"Emily."
"Yes?"
"You're even prettier since last time."
"Oh, stop~"
She blushed at the compliment. And she was prettier. Glowed with newfound allure.
Before, she'd been model-skinny—hospital life thinned her to show ribs. Now? Perfectly filled out. Mature curves. Sexy milf...!
Tonight, Emily's place.
"Huff! Huff! Ha! Ha!"
In the classroom marked "Actors' Lounge," tense Rachel breathed deeply. Spotting my stare amid her pacing and line checks, she turned.
"Hubba?! Uncle!"
Grinning ear-to-ear, she dashed over. I scooped up my princess in her pretty gown.
"Whoa! Hero Rachel's a princess today? How's my princess been?"
"Good! Missed you, Uncle."
"Missed you more."
"Heehee."
"Tch. Mom who? You two sync perfectly."
Emily feigned jealousy between us, but smiled warmly.
"Mooom~ Missed you too!"
Rachel hugged her to soothe any real pouts. Adorable kid.
Perfect. Rachel had matured from trauma, but now seemed her age again. No more worries.
"For after the show."
"Huh? Whoa! Bigger than me!"
She finally noticed the bouquet—vibrant blooms dwarfing her.
"Can't wait. Break a leg, Rachel."
"Yep!"
*****
Soon, the play began. Title: Romeo and Juliet? Universal classic.
"Oh! Romeo! Why must you be Romeo?!"
Under dazzling lights, Rachel was Juliet—born for the stage.
"Practicing nonstop paid off. Right, Steel Armor... sir? St-Steel Armor?!"
"Sniff... What?"
"Are you... crying?"
"N-not... hic! Not crying."
"....."
"Waaah! My Rachel! So pretty! Best ever! Hngh!"
Emily stared in disbelief, but tears flowed unstoppable. My Rachel performing for crowds! So moving! Overwhelmingly moving.
"See that Juliet? My daughter. Rachel. Super cute, right?! Say it!"
"Y-yes."
"Hic! Best girl! So lovable! Hngh!"
Bragged to the guy beside me. Fair game.
Tears nonstop through her performance. Faucet busted—gushers!
Quietly, so as not to distract.
"Hic...!"
"Waaah!"
"Wouldn't hurt a fly, my baby!"
All clones except Mark filmed from angles. Memories!
Play continued.
"Romeo! If you love me, breakdance!"
"Ooh, Juliet! My love in breakdance! Hup-two! Ha-two! Yow!"
Sudden breakdance?
"You fraud! Tricking my Juliet?! Don't fall for it! I'm the real Romeo!"
Huh?
"No! Breakdancing me's real! He's Romiyo, fake!"
Romiyo knockoff?
"Forgot us, Juliet?! We seven dwarfs slaved for you!"
Dwarfs too?!
"Ahh... So many Romeos! To be or not to be?!"
Hamlet quote?
"....?"
Real Romeo and Juliet?
"... Hic! Who cares! Rachel's the star!"
Exactly. Doesn't matter.
"Hngh!"
I bawled rivers, savoring her show.
*****
Curtain fell. Cast and teacher bowed.
"Thanks for watching Romeo and Juliet!"
"Wooooh!"
Clapclapclapclapclap!
I clapped hardest—drowned out everyone. No one Stop this feeling
Before exodus, I hit the stage.
"After-party now! Join if free!"
"....?"
Parents blinked confusedly. Rachel starred—can't end here.
Led kids, teacher, parents to nearby restaurant.
Initially awkward parents warmed up to my un-villainy friendliness.
"Take care of our Rachel."
"No worries. Same for Kasadin."
"Kasadin? The 16-level Promise kid...?"
"Huh? What's...?"
"N-nothing. Whoa, you're Kasadin! Handsome—breaking hearts already!"
"She's a girl."
"...Exactly! Girls break girls' hearts too! Open-minded here! Hahaha!"
Brief misunderstanding(?), but smoothed over fine.