Monster Taming Bet
"I'll tame a monster and prove I'm the greatest villain—the ultimate SSS-rank villain!"
"...Get outta here, you crazy bastard!"
"C-crazy?!"
Rumble—!
I was utterly shocked by Peter Elder's curse—it was the first time I'd ever heard it from him. I'd always pegged him as a grumpy, 365-year-old complainer, but he knew how to swear like that too!
'This feels fucking gross.'
Having a pretty girl curse me out from under me gets me excited. But when it's a handsome guy on the outside and a 300-year-old geezer on the inside doing the cursing? It soured my mood big time.
Still, I didn't snap. I was a vanguard of Confucian filial piety, armed with respect for the elderly!
Of course, my respect only applied to those worthy of it. If some asshole had age but no substance, my piety would flip to elder assault mode. A cutting-edge philosophy that shifted with the situation...!
'Fucking awesome! I'm like Iron Man!!!'
Come to think of it, Iron Man and I had tons in common. We were both the poster boys of our worlds (hotties?), loaded with cash, and brainiacs. Iron Man was a genius even Thanos acknowledged, and I was clocking IQs of 350—same genius level. Plus, his "Iron" meant steel, and my Steel Armor's "Steel" meant the same. Basically, we were one and the same!
"I was Iron Man! What a story worthy of the big screen! No wonder—we had all these subtle similarities...! This is life's true wisdom! Eureka!"
Enlightened by the truth that Steel Armor equaled Iron Man, I shouted "Eureka!" just like Archimedes discovering buoyancy.
No wonder! Deep down, I'd always wanted Iron Man as my big bro—he was my favorite hero. But he never showed up. I'd been a bit salty about it, but now I got why. I was Iron Man, and Iron Man was me. How could he appear?
"What nonsense is this now...? Sigh... What sin did I commit in a past life to end up with this braggart...?"
Peter Elder sighed at my outburst. A past life for him would've been at least 400 years ago, right?
"Anyway, care to answer now? How do I tame a monster?"
"No idea."
"Huh?"
"You're the first person I've met who's ever talked about taming a monster. Hell, do you really, truly think those beasts can be tamed?"
"There's a saying in this world."
"?"
"If it won't work, make it work. Or this one: Nothing is impossible. And my favorite: I'm still hungry."
It's true. I was still hungry. For what? Women!
I already had plenty to pick from every night, but it wasn't enough. My grand dream was a harem tower rivaling Stark Tower, filled with women to plug every empty spot! Until then, I was a perpetually starving man.
"I'll tame that monster no matter what. And I'll etch my existence into the world. So join my grand plan, Peter!"
"You absolute crazy bastard. What bullshit are you spouting now?"
"Pardon?"
"Oh dear. Meant to think that, but it slipped out. Sorry."
"....."
Peter Elder apologized with zero remorse on his face. Watching him stirred my urge to switch from elder respect to elder smackdown. Maybe a solid punch?
"Wait. Monster? Did you say a monster entered Dark City?"
He finally caught on to what I'd said earlier and shot back at me.
Hmph! I crossed my arms and turned away—that was my answer.
Why did these pink-nippled world natives never answer straight when I asked questions? No cooperation, but when they needed something, they grilled me. People were so selfish.
Life's give and take—you give, you get. Trying to take without giving? That's just wrong.
"Do you know how to tame a monster or not?"
"Answer me first. Do you know?"
"....."
Peter glared at me. What, sue me? I asked first, and you stonewalled. So no answer from me either.
"If you're gonna clam up like that, guess I have no choice. I'll be off. Take care."
"Wait!"
"Yes?"
"...If a monster really entered Dark City... we have to stop it. No—kill it fast. Even the weakest ones are stronger than we think. So..."
"Why kill it?"
"Pardon?"
"Didn't you hear? I'm gonna tame it."
"You lunatic! Monsters aren't tamable!"
"Aha."
That confirmed it. He knew how to kill them, but taming? Not a clue.
Hmm... Time for Dark City's top brain—and humanity's once-in-history genius—me to rack my own noggin. I'd hoped to borrow advice, but looks like I'd solve this solo.
"Wanna bet on it?"
"What?"
Make up your mind—formal or casual? Was this that half-respectful tone people said was thrilling? Not for me. Probably 'cause he was over 300.
"Whether I can tame a monster or not. Let's bet."
"Still haven't come to your senses! Monsters can't be tamed!"
"You think I can't?"
"....."
Peter—make that Peter geezer—froze mid-yell at my cocky vibe.
"If I tame it, you grant me one favor. If I fail, I grant you one. Deal?"
"....."
"No answer? Scared?"
"Fine! You're on! Soon you'll regret your arrogance today!"
"Bet made. I'll come back once I've tamed it. Prosper till then."
I gave the geezer a leisurely bow and strolled out of the tailor shop.
"Things worked out better than expected."
I had to claim the Gumiho anyway—for the player-exclusive quest clear and reward. And now I could recruit Peter too. His cranky personality grated, but his skills were top-tier. Plus, a hidden master with 10-level monster creation! Two birds, one stone.
"Hahaha! Hahaha! Muahahahahaha!"
Feeling great, I burst into laughter and turned on my heel.
"Young man... want some radishes...? I grew 'em myself... buy one, please... gotta give pocket money to the grandkids..."
"Argh! This damn granny! I was in a good mood!"
A street vendor grandma hailed me. Daring to interrupt my good mood?!
"Grannies who love their grandkids need a money lesson! Hand over all the radishes—now!"
"Hehe... thanks, young man. Don't know what you do, but may your business boom."
Fresh radishes for just 50 bucks (no change)—and blessings too! What a steal!
*****
'Tame a monster?'
After Steel Armor left, Peter's face hardened as he sank into thought.
'Impossible!'
He was dead certain taming a monster was undoable. Even wild animals warmed up eventually with food and time. But monsters? To them, humans were just prey to kill and eat.
A few had dreamed the same as Steel Armor long ago, when monsters first appeared—tame them, turn the tables. How'd that go? Some became monster chow, others got trampled, some vanished without a trace.
Monsters harbored intense hatred for humans. Big ones ignored us like buildings, but small ones went berserk on sight.
'Taming's impossible.'
Even the monsters Peter made from human corpses back then were the same. When his first creation opened its eyes, it nearly killed him. All he could do was flee his own creation.
—You think I can't?
"....."
Yet why? Steel Armor's smug confidence made Peter wonder... maybe he could pull it off?
Despite knowing it was impossible.
—Meow~
A cat slipped through the door, padding silently and elegantly to Peter.
—Nyaa~!
"...Oh? You're here?"
Snapping to, Peter eyed the cat. It slit its belly open, and a woman burst out.
"What? So lost in thought you didn't notice me? Ah! Perverted thoughts, huh? Men never outgrow their dirty minds."
"....."
"What's up? No reaction today? Boring."
"Nain."
"Yeah?"
"Hiding something from me?"
"Hiding? What? What could I be hiding?"
Peter glared at the woman—Nain.
"You didn't let a monster into the city, did you?"
"....."
Her innocent facade sharpened like a blade, then softened.
Grinning slyly, Nain asked, "What're you on about? Even we couldn't sneak a big monster past everyone unnoticed, right?"
"Big ones, no. Small ones? Possible."
"What're you implying, Peter—or should I say Seven? Why's our disinterested Seven grilling me? Hmm?"
"Warning you."
"What? Warning?"
Peter locked eyes with her.
"If you release a monster here... you'll regret it big time."
"Ooh, scary. Sorry, I'm such a chicken—mind if I pee here? Legs are shaking."
Ignoring his warning, she playfully pulled a bundled package from the cat skin and tossed it on the counter.
"We have zero plans to unleash monsters here. It's important to us too. Don't suspect your allies. 'Kay?"
"...Out."
"Sure~ Oh, and..."
She snatched five 10-dollar bills from the register.
"I'll put it to good use~ Thanks~"
"....."
Finished, Nain sauntered out.
*****
"Whew, that startled me."
Outside, Nain patted her heaving chest.
Slosh~
Her head-sized breasts jiggled hugely—
"Whoa!"
And the onlookers' hearts pounded too.
Ignoring the stares from passersby, Nain strutted like a model.
'Why'd he ask that? Did he suspect? Nah—plan's not even in motion yet.'
She pondered Peter's question.
'Sudden monster talk... must've heard something somewhere... smells fishy... wait, that's tasty chicken skewer smell!'
"Auntie, how much for these skewers?"
"One buck each."
"One of each flavor, please!"
"All of 'em? By yourself?"
"Hehe, friends are waiting."
"Gotcha. Hang on—I'll make 'em delish."
"'Kay~"
With her casual lie, Nain pondered while waiting.
'Guess I should look into it.'
*****
A week since the bet with Peter Elder.
True to my bold words, my Gumiho strategy over the week? Zilch.
"Progress at 0%—empty gauge."
"She's glued to Hero Association—no chance for contact."
She needed to step out for any shot at her, but holed up there? No opportunities.
How to Strategy and clear the quest like this?!
"They say a good start is half the battle."
Wait, no start means half of zero?
"Right—haste makes waste."
No deadlines on the quest or bet. Tomorrow or a year from now—claim her, done.
Yes! The bet was rigged for my win!
I only fight sure things! Steel Armor, 200% win rate!
"Time to go."
"Sorry, oppa. Made you wait?"
As I lounged on the sofa mulling Gumiho and Peter, Jina and Elis appeared, suitcases in tow.
"Nah, not long. Let's roll?"
That's right.
"Let's hit the sea!"
Off to the ocean we go. Vacation time! No-COVID world forever!