#187 Sidekick
Steam users gain superhuman strength like superpowered individuals, but as a side effect, their appearance morphs into something animal-like. Take Cheetgirl, for example—she was originally human, but the Steam turned her skin orange with black spots and sprouted a tail, making her look just like a cheetah. That's why I call her Cheetgirl.
The moment I laid eyes on the man—no, the old geezer—holding Rachel captive, I fully grasped what Steam does to its users. Where legs should be on this old man, there was a tail instead. His pupils were slit vertically like a reptile's, his nose had collapsed so only the nostrils showed—no bridge at all. It reminded me of Voldemort. And his skin was covered in scales like a snake's.
If my theory was right, Steam users acquire animal abilities or traits, and as a side effect, they take on a similar outward appearance.
'As expected, I'm the world's greatest genius—no, the universe's greatest genius!'
I'd figured out the traits of Steam users just by looking. I was definitely a genius.
Anyway, that wasn't important right now...
"Why don't you let go of her?!"
Seeing that old creep gripping Rachel made sparks fly from my eyes. How dare he lay his filthy hands on my precious Rachel, whom I could hold in my eyes without it hurting!
...Just to clarify, it wasn't filthy because of his looks—it was literally dirty. He hadn't washed in days; the grime was pitch black.
With Cheetgirl and Dark Lady tucked under my arms, I charged the snake geezer and unleashed a soccer kick.
"Krek?!"
The snake old man's head snapped clean off his body and went flying. Felt just like kicking a real soccer ball.
I dropped Cheetgirl and Dark Lady, catching Rachel instead. The warmth of the little girl nestling into my arms melted away the madness filling my chest.
"Ah..."
"You okay? Must've been scary, huh? Sorry. Uncle came too late. You hurt anywhere? Let me check."
"....."
Oh no! I really was too late. Rachel's upturned face was full of disappointment.
Damn it! Disappointing Rachel! Making her upset! Sure, she'd been kidnapped three times—something most people never experience even once in a lifetime—but you never get used to that. And the kidnapper this time had weird octopus tentacles or something, right? She must've been terrified, waiting for me to save her. And what was I doing? Putting on some crazy show about madness! I should've found her faster instead of wasting time on that crap.
"Damn! Sorry, Rachel!"
"U-Uncle?"
I planted a grand prostration before Rachel, pouring all my remorse into it. The ultimate apology you can only do when you're sorry enough to pierce the heavens! I hoped it would melt away her disappointment.
Overwhelming remorse...!
"Why are you doing that all of a sudden? Get up already."
Startled, Rachel strained to pull me up. But I couldn't rise.
'Rachel won't accept my grand prostration...! She must be really mad I came so late...!'
How furious was she to reject my apology and just tell me to get up? I wouldn't stand until she forgave me. No—I didn't deserve to.
I was trash...! What kind of father figure was I? Just a heartbroken one!
"Sorry, Rachel! Uncle came way too late, didn't he? I'm really sorry! I should've come sooner—no, I should've just stayed by your side! This is all my fault! I'm so sorry!"
"...Uncle."
"Eek?!"
Rachel's nightingale-like voice dropped low. I'd never heard that tone before—it threw me off completely. Was she so mad she couldn't forgive me?! Scary! Rachel was gonna hate me!
"Why is it Uncle's fault?"
"...Huh?"
"The bad guys are the kidnappers. So why... Ah!"
Mid-sentence, Rachel gasped as if remembering something and grabbed my waist, shaking it.
"Uncle! Help! Isabela—my friend!"
"Right."
The word "friend" snapped me upright. It wasn't just Rachel who'd been kidnapped. Her friend, Hero Association President Valencia's granddaughter Isabela, had been taken too.
"Know which way they went?"
"We got split—she went the opposite way from me. What do we do, Uncle? If something happens to Isabela... Sob!"
Rachel started sniffling. Th-those bastards! Making Rachel cry?! Unforgivable!
"Rachel. Got anything Isabela used?"
"Um... Ah! This!"
Rachel showed me her arm. A bracelet woven from leaves—probably made by Isabela.
"Cheetgirl. Sniff it."
Sniff—! Sniff sniff—!
Cheetgirl approached and smelled the bracelet.
"Kyarrung..."
"Damn."
But Cheetgirl shook her head. Rachel's scent was too strong; no other smells came through.
"Aaaah... Isabela... Sob, waaah~!"
"Don't worry, Rachel! Just trust Uncle!"
"Sniff... You can find Isabela?"
"Of course! Uncle might look like a dumb brute with nothing but muscles, but my IQ is a whopping three hundred fifty! So no worries!"
"Huh?"
Rachel tilted her head. Well, yeah—where would she have met a genius like me? An IQ of three fifty was probably a miraculous figure unique to me in Dark City.
I just didn't study, but my brain was top-tier!
"Let's head to where you were first. Think you can find the way?"
"I'll try."
"Good."
With Dark City's top brain and the girl who had all that brain's love combined, there was no case we couldn't solve.
Hmm! Why did that famous detective and Conan pop into my head?
"Oh, right. Rachel?"
"Yes?"
"From this moment on, you're my sidekick, [Cutie Armor]."
"Huh?"
"Heroes team up with sidekicks as a duo, right? No reason we can't. With our strength and smarts combined, we're a team now. I'm the villain, you're my sidekick."
"But I'm a hero?"
"Eh?"
Hero? Out of nowhere?
"I'm a villain, though?"
"But I'm a hero!"
"Ugh...!"
Fine, no helping it.
"Then you're the hero [Cutie Armor]. I'll be your sidekick [Cutie Steel Armor]."
"Cutie Steel Armor?"
Rachel tilted her head again. Why? I was plenty cute.
"That's not important now! Your friend Isabela's in danger! Let's go, Cutie Armor!"
"Right! This way!"
"Too slow!"
"Eek?!"
I was waaaay faster than Rachel running. So I hoisted her onto my shoulder and bolted.
"Grrr!"
Behind us, Cheetgirl chased with Dark Lady in her mouth. Our Cheetgirl was so smart—love it. Maybe take her on Animal Farm? Gotta show the world how clever my kitty is! Wonder if they have a show like that here.
*****
Meanwhile, outside the underground secret base, Shadow Killer's minions guarding it clashed fiercely with the heroes dispatched to aid Association President Valencia.
Leading the heroes were Ice Queen and Tough Guy.
"Hurry! The president's in danger!"
"Outta the way, you rookies!"
Heroes and villains fought desperately, but the villains held the edge. Shadow Killer's core lieutenants like Viper, Vifner, and Gargoyle were holding strong, and the building atop the secret base was a fortress. Heavy weapons, bombs, laser beams, auto-turrets—the works.
Ping-! Ping-! Ping-!
"Argh!"
"Casualties!"
So advanced it even had friend-or-foe recognition. The lasers targeted only heroes, ignoring villains.
"Move, you bastards!"
"No way in hell!"
Ice Queen, Valencia's closest aide and recipient of much of his wisdom, grew anxious as the entrance refused to budge. She instantly knew why he'd gone alone with Gumiho to rescue Isabela.
For some reason, the president had come here to die. She didn't know why exactly, but she could guess. He'd likely treated Isabela's kidnapping as a personal matter, not official business. If the kidnapper was really Shadow Killer, casualties would pile up.
Gumiho lacked combat power but had unmatched speed—rivaling S-rank hero Wind Line, who controlled wind.
So, Valencia was probably buying time with his life while Gumiho rescued Isabela.
'Such a plan full of holes! Ahh... President! Why make such a mistake?!'
Ice Queen lamented inwardly. In her view, the plan had too many flaws. Maybe he'd been out of the field too long.
Of course, it was just her guess. But it was the only reason for him to move with just Gumiho.
"You ain't getting in he—Huh?"
A-rank villain Gargoyle, blocking Ice Queen, shivered and looked up. He spotted a man floating in the sky.
"Th-that guy's...!"
Gargoyle's eyes widened. White hair, snow-white skin, white battlesuit and cape. He looked ridiculous, like a man painted head to toe in white—but no one who saw him would laugh. Especially not villains.
His stock had dipped after losing to a villain recently, but he still held the title of strongest hero.
"White Knight!"
"Shit! White Knight?!"
"What? White Knight? Why's he...?"
His sudden appearance stunned heroes and villains alike. Sure, an S-rank—no, the top hero—was welcome for the heroes, but knowing his personality, no one knew why he was here.
S-rank heroes rarely showed unless it was dire. Especially arrogant, self-centered White Knight—he'd reject even Valencia's begging outright.
"Gotta repay my debts."
Muttering cryptically, White Knight's eyes glowed white. His signature skill: laser beam.
"Dodge! Laser beam!"
"Gaaah!"
Heroes and villains scattered. Unlike the villains' lasers with IFF, White Knight's hit everything.
"Out of my way, pests."
Ziiiiing-!
Laser beams poured from his eyes, slicing straight through the street and cleaving the building in half.
BOOM-!
The fortress-like structure split and exploded, revealing the hidden secret base beneath.
"No way..."
"A place like that under District 34...?"
The heroes gaped at the base. It looked impossibly deep even from the narrow entrance.
"Whoa!"
White Knight plunged into the gaping hole, ignoring everyone outside.
"That guy's always... Ice Queen!"
"...Y-Yes? Yes, Tough Guy!"
"I'll hold here! Go save that idiot!"
"Got it! Let's go!"
Snapping to at Tough Guy's shout, Ice Queen gathered her team, including Aqua Girl, and followed White Knight.
*****
Guided by Rachel—no, SSS-rank hero Cutie Armor, armed to the teeth with cuteness—we reached where she'd been held with the kidnappers. So well hidden, the room had no doors. Only a vent.
"This the place?"
"Yes."
"Isabela got dragged off through the opposite vent for a second kidnapping?"
"Yes. Uncle, shouldn't we hurry and save her?"
"Tch! Not Uncle—sidekick Cutie Steel Armor. Call me Cutie Steel Armor."
"Uncle!"
"Sorry."
Cutie Armor yelled at my nonsense. I apologized immediately. Within three seconds. Gotta follow the rules.
"Finding Isabela is priority. But we need clues on the kidnappers. We got zilch on them."
"Um..."
"Yeah?"
"Can't we just call Mark Two? Have him investigate."
"...Wow."
She remembered Mark Two? Rachel's a genius too?!
"Uh... that's kinda tough."
"Why?"
"Because..."
Right now, all my clones except Mark One had jobs. Sadly, couldn't call them here—
"Huh? White Knight?"
Suddenly, through my clones' eyes, I saw White Knight entering the secret base.
Why the hell was that bastard here?