#143 Perfect Crime
Ice Queen stared at me with a face full of doubt before finally heading down to the special storage room. She returned dragging the unconscious Director Hwang.
Her expression was incredibly complicated as she looked at me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Beats me."
At this point, even I was curious. What the fuck was I doing here? I'd just planned to deposit my money, jewels, and gold bars at Hero Bank—the most trustworthy bank in Dark City—because I didn't trust my thick-headed underlings. Then I was supposed to go on a date with Yuna. That was the normal plan.
But instead, here I was fighting terrorists, saving people, and holding up a collapsing building. What the actual fuck was I doing?
"I'm... a thick-headed idiot..."
"What? Starting a sudden self-criticism session?"
Ice Queen gave me a weird look. Yeah, you think I'm a thick-headed idiot too, huh? I totally agree. But it pisses me off a little that you think that. Fuck.
Still, I couldn't argue back even if she teased me for being an idiot right now. Because—
I could've just stored everything in my inventory. Why the hell didn't I think of that? Bank, my ass.
Yeah. Nobody could steal shit from my inventory, but I forgot and came to Hero Bank anyway. Sure, it let me stop the terrorists and save people, but that didn't change the fact that I was a fucking moron.
"I'm not Steel Armor... I'm Steel Head..."
"...?"
Beyond a stone head—straight-up metal head. That's me.
"Steel Armor."
"Why keep calling me? You saved Director Hwang—now get him outta here. And while you're at it, save my ass too."
Holding up the building was making me feel like I was shrinking.
"...I can't represent the Hero Association, but as one hero, I sincerely thank you for stopping the terror attack and saving the citizens."
"Uh..."
I was caught off guard by Ice Queen's sudden sincerity. What the hell was with these guys today? I'm a villain. An S-rank one—one of only seventeen in Dark City. Yet Cutter thanked me earlier, and now Ice Queen, the Hero Association's poster girl, was doing the same.
Did they... snort some coke or something?
I seriously wondered if they'd done drugs before coming here. Why the fuck would heroes thank a villain?!
"But as you know, we can't announce that you saved the citizens. You understand why, right?"
"Yeah. Fair enough."
Ice Queen bit her lip. Even through her mask, her eyes looked conflicted. I got what she wanted to say.
Broadcasts have more influence than we imagine—beyond anything rational. If they announced that I, a villain, stopped the attack and saved people, public perception of villains would turn positive, while heroes who failed to prevent it would look negative. To avoid the "incompetent" label, the Hero Association had to claim credit for resolving this.
"Handle it however. Can't have villains looking like the good guys."
"...Aren't you pissed?"
"Huh?"
"You stopped the terror and saved people. And the Hero Association's trying to steal your credit! Hell, they might even say you were in on it with the terrorists! But you're not even mad?"
"..."
I blankly stared at Ice Queen suddenly revving up like that. A chuckle escaped me.
"You worried about me right now?"
"No! Why would I worry about you?!"
"Then why're you mad on my behalf?"
"I'm not mad! I said it's not like that!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anger? Sorry, but that shit doesn't piss me off."
"What?"
"I only get mad in two cases. One: someone touches kids. Two: someone tries to take what's mine."
"..."
"I was pissed at the terrorists. They tried to take my stuff, and worst of all, they pointed a gun at an innocent kid's head who didn't know shit. So I attacked and killed them."
We locked eyes.
"Whatever the Hero Association does after that? Don't give a fuck. Why? I already vented. Shame I couldn't make this bastard suffer forever."
I nudged the dead terrorist with my foot. I'd protected the hostages, but this fucker got caught in the explosion and died on the spot.
"Ice Queen. The moment people think villains are good guys, heroes become the bad guys. It's black-and-white thinking, super binary, but what can you do? That's how people see it."
Even those who think they're "awake" draw unconscious lines between us and them. Ally or enemy. You can't call it human folly—it's a mental concept etched since we first used tools. Impossible to change something ingrained in our genes.
Anyway, I was done holding up this damn building. Gurgle—! My stomach churned, probably from that cocoa earlier. Fuck, never drinking cocoa at a bank again.
"I'm ready to bounce, but how long do I gotta hold this shit up?"
"...Just wait a moment."
Thud—!
Ice Queen stomped hard. Then something amazing happened.
Ice spread from where her foot hit, covering the floor. It climbed the walls, soon encasing the entire building in ice. Even when I let go from the ceiling, it didn't collapse.
"You... got stronger, huh?"
I was impressed. Ice Queen was stronger than last time. Her superpower was still stuck at level 9, but she'd grown—close enough that a tiny push could hit level 10.
Ice Queen, supporting Director Hwang, turned to leave.
"The most I can do is not arrest you right here. So go."
"Heh. Think you could even arrest me?"
"Argh! I said go—just go! Why do you always have to argue?!"
She yelled at me and headed out. I called after her.
"Wait for me. I'll come get you soon."
"What does that mean?"
Unable to understand, Ice Queen scowled at me.
"What else? I'll make you my woman."
"Why would I be your woman?"
"'Cause you're into me."
"...What?"
"Don't get hurt. Wait for me. You're mine, so if you get hurt, I'll be pissed. Pissed enough to kill whoever did it. So don't, unless you wanna see bodies."
"W-Wait! What are you—!"
Ice Queen shouted from behind, but I waved her off and headed to the special storage room. Can't exit through the front with her, right? The terrorists had conveniently blasted a hole there—perfect escape route.
"Hey! Stop right there!"
A man speaks with his back! Adios!
*****
"Master!"
"Yuna!"
Yuna spotted me and leaped into my arms like a flying squirrel. I hugged her tight before letting go.
"You okay? Not hurt? Those damn terrorists!"
"Huh? How'd you know?"
"Heard from the other heroes. And that you saved everyone."
"Oh? Wait."
That's when I noticed something off about Yuna. She wasn't hurt—just sweaty, with hair plastered to her face and weird indent marks on her bangs. Her makeup was smudged too.
"Yuna, what happened to your face?"
"Huh? What's wrong with my face?"
"Uh... better see for yourself."
"???"
Yuna tilted her head, pulled out her phone, and checked her face. Then she let out an adorable scream.
"Eek! What the hell?!"
"Pfft!"
I burst out laughing. Too damn cute.
"D-Don't laugh! How long's it been like this? Waaah! I had no idea!"
"It's fine. Still looks pretty to me."
Yuna was so gorgeous naturally that makeup was optional. But right now? It was doing her no favors.
"Probably from putting out the fire earlier? Hng..."
"Fire? Why were you putting out fire?"
"Well..."
Yuna explained what she'd been up to.
"...Those motherfuckers?"
My rage at the terror group exploded uncontrollably. On a day I wasn't around, Yuna dolled up all pretty for me—and they made her put out fires? I can tolerate them messing with me, but bothering Yuna? No fucking way.
"Yuna. When you find out who's behind this terror shit, tell me right away. Got it? Those bastards. Gotta wipe 'em out root and stem."
"Yes, Master! I'll tell you for sure!"
Yuna was pissed at them too.
"Gonna fix my makeup in the bathroom real quick."
"Sure. Take your time."
Yuna headed into a nearby shop, and I paced out front. Without the mask, nobody gave me weird looks.
"Oh, right..."
I pulled out my wallet and fished a business card. Back when Rachel got kidnapped the second time, I'd teamed up with S-rank hero Memory Hunter and rescued her and the other kids. This was his card.
I'd rarely called—only when I needed Hero Association intel.
"S-rank, so he knows more than Yuna, right?"
I dialed without hesitation. A rough voice answered soon after.
"Yeah, it's me. How you been?"
"Ugh! Boomer stink... boomer stink hitting me from here... "
"Nah, nothing. Anyway, you hear about the Hero Bank terror today?"
"..."
His words reminded me of the astronomical sum currently in my inventory. What? Did they think the terror group took it all?
This car is mine from now on. I recalled the reporter on the news.
Sweet. Pure honey.
The money in my inventory was mine now.
*****
Yuna came back with fixed makeup, and though we were late, we dove into our date proper. We ate expensive, delicious food at a restaurant, sipped sweet drinks at a café while chatting, and caught a movie.
I considered fucking Yuna during the movie but held back. It was a box-office smash—packed house, no empty seats.
Next time, rent out the whole theater for Yuna fun.
Rent everything except the one seat right in front. Then, without the guy noticing, have Yuna discreetly suck me off and fuck...
Jackpot!
Would be a blast. Anyway...
"Hm."
"What's up, Master?"
"Where'd you get that?"
"This? Just from a department store."
"When?"
"Uh... two years ago? Something like that?"
"Yeah?"
Yuna's handbag was a bit worn—scuffs on the bottom, fraying edges. Perfect.
Today, shopping for Yuna.
"Let's go."
"Where to now?"
"Department store. I'll buy you a new handbag. Super expensive one. And other stuff too."
"Really?!"
Her eyes curved into adorable crescents at the mention of shopping. Rare for a girl her age to hate it.
"M-Master, I mean bro? O-Oppa? I think that's enough now."
Bag after bag piled up in my hands, and even Yuna started feeling burdened after her initial excitement.
"Why? We've only spent eight grand. Oh, that's pretty. Try it on."
"..."
I pointed to a necklace over ten grand. Yuna looked at me with a drained face.