Confession
***
"Then, Beatrice. Will you teleport me to the mountain where I trained before?"
[...As you wish, my lord.]
Following Cheon Seong's words, Beatrice prepared to use teleportation, her face tense.
The world blurred as the landscape of the forest where they had first trained together came into view.
[Then what is it you wish to say...?]
Whoosh!
Beatrice, having completed the teleportation, looked at Cheon Seong and opened her mouth to ask what he needed to say, but the words died before they could form.
Cheon Seong's assault cut her off mid-sentence.
His fist flew straight toward her.
Beatrice dodged the sudden attack, and the empty, expressionless face she rarely showed now stared back at Cheon Seong as she asked, voice calm.
[...What in the world is this nonsense?]
"... "
Even as she questioned him, Cheon Seong said nothing, his only response the next strike aimed at her.
**Heavenly Demon Divine Art** **First Form** **White Night**
A blinding white light erupted from Cheon Seong's palm, erasing everything in its path as it struck Beatrice.
In response, Beatrice unleashed her own devastating blow of dark mana.
Boom!
The shockwave rang out, shattering Cheon Seong's White Night. Beatrice stepped forward, blocking his next move, and repeated her question.
[...Why... Why are you attacking this one?]
"... "
Even with the sorrow in her voice, Cheon Seong remained silent, stepping back only to launch yet another attack.
**Heavenly Demon Divine Art** **Second Form** **Black Night**
Unlike the first form's radiant destruction, Black Night was a devouring darkness that swallowed all light. Though Cheon Seong had trained little lately, his technique was far more refined than before. The surrounding forest was swallowed by the night he cast. Beatrice teleported away just in time as the darkness closed in.
The Black Night followed her, consuming everything in its path.
Thud!
[No matter how much I wonder why... I must subdue you first... Forgive me.]
The place where Beatrice had teleported was right behind Cheon Seong. Her **Heavenly Demon Divine Art**—Black Night—smashed into him as he spun to defend.
**Heavenly Demon Divine Art** **Second Form** **Black Night**
The overwhelming darkness that enveloped the entire forest crashed down on Cheon Seong. The night swallowed him whole.
[...Truly, I am sorry.]
His heart ached.
Since it was a practice strike, Cheon Seong's life was not in true danger. But the pain he inflicted on Beatrice was unbearable.
[Now I will tell you everything.]
Whoosh!
Expecting Cheon Seong to collapse, Beatrice walked toward where he had stood and spoke. Either out of lingering pain or because she had let her guard down, thinking it was over, she failed to block his next strike.
Once more, Cheon Seong's attack carved into her flesh and tore at her bones. Beatrice squeezed her eyes shut without meaning to. Cheon Seong's fist stopped an inch from her face.
[...Wh... what?]
"...I can't do it."
The mask of emotion that had lain over Cheon Seong's usually blank face shattered. Beneath it, a face twisted in agony was revealed.
Cheon Seong's fist hung suspended in the air right in front of her. Without time to think, Beatrice stepped close, wrapped her arms around the weeping man, and pulled him into her embrace.
[Why... Why are you suffering like this?]
"...I don't know... I don't know either. Why... Why am I doing this to you? I don't understand it myself."
Tuk
Tuk
Since his first regression, Cheon Seong's eyes had never cried. Now tears streamed down Beatrice's fair face.
"I don't know either... I don't know why I keep hurting you... Every time I try to attack you, my heart aches... This shouldn't happen... But I keep doing it..."
Before regression, Yuna had looked at me alone. Even when monsters dragged me away, she had loved me.
After Yuna died, I swore:
I would love only her, even if it meant dying for her sake, to save the one who loved me and died in my place.
That vow had been to the Yuna who had died for me, and I had kept it even after regression.
Until today.
I honestly didn't know if this was love.
The only love I had ever felt was for Yuna. I had never known whether it was true love.
I believed love meant thinking of that person, wanting to stay with them, fulfilling what they asked, and dying for them alone.
And whether this applied to Beatrice as well was unclear.
After leaving home, I had kept questioning whether I loved Beatrice.
Being with her was joyful. If she asked for something, I wanted to give it my all.
But could I really die for her? I didn't know.
That was why I called it ambiguous. I attacked her to test my own heart, and the result was pain.
Every time I struck Beatrice, my chest felt torn apart.
That was why I had stopped at the last moment. I had realized I had broken the vow I made to the dead Yuna.
Yuna had died a horrible death for me. I had sworn to love only her, yet I couldn't keep it. The guilt was unbearable.
I hated myself more than anyone—I couldn't even keep the vow to love the woman who had died for me.
It made me sick.
In the end, I couldn't hold it back. I pushed Beatrice away and vomited the disgust inside me.
"Uuu... uweeeek!!!"
The foul filth inside me poured out endlessly.
Swoosh
Swoosh
Then a warm hand touched my back as I emptied my stomach.
I hated how good I felt under her touch. I spat out the disgust once more.
"Uweeeeeek!!"
[It is all right... This is not your fault. This one is sorry.]
Her words, scolding herself, were unbearable to hear.
I really... I really was a helpless piece of trash. I couldn't deny it.
The two women who loved this trash were so precious, so dear.
I could never think of myself as anything but garbage.
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"Uu... uw... ek!"
I had emptied my stomach of everything.
Yet the disgust for myself kept forcing me to vomit again and again.
"Haa... haa... Bea... trice."
[Yes. This one is here.]
"Haa... haa... I... I really... what should I do?"
No matter how much I recognized my love for Beatrice, I wanted to kill myself for breaking the vow to love only Yuna.
But I couldn't.
My life was not mine alone—it belonged to those who had sacrificed themselves for the me before regression.
Was this the life-long suffering Beatrice had felt all along?
I couldn't kill myself. I lived a life of endless torment. Thinking this was the suffering Beatrice had endured made me worry about her.
"I... I shouldn't be like this... I should love only Yuna... But Beatrice, I want to kill this version of me who loves you so much. I really don't know what to do..."
Cheon Seong's sudden confession made Beatrice's snow-white skin flush.
[...This is not your fault. It is entirely this one's fault. You need not suffer because of me.]
"No. This is not... not your fault... It's all my fault. So don't blame yourself."
[...]
Beatrice's heart fluttered at Cheon Seong's words denying her own guilt.
It was precisely because of this that she could not help but love him.
[This one also does not wish for you to suffer. Therefore, let us call it both of our faults.]
"...Beatrice... May I hold you?"
Cheon Seong's question made Beatrice's eyes widen.
[Of course... of course.]
"Thank you..."
Whoosh
The moment Beatrice granted permission, Cheon Seong pulled her small, fragile body close.
"Really... Beatrice, the one who loves me... is so kind... I hate the me who loves you..." [Naturally. You are a warm person, after all. A person with such a heart could not help it...] Unlike my muddy, dirty eyes, Beatrice's jewel-like golden ones were beautiful.
[This one loves that kind of you. Therefore, do not suffer alone. Suffer with this one.]
Even though it was my fault and never hers, Beatrice's selfless words warmed Cheon Seong's heart.
"Thank you... Truly, thank you."
Cheon Seong held Beatrice's small yet large body and kept murmuring his gratitude.
***
"Beatrice. I truly like you. But... but right now, I cannot love you."
[It is because of Yuna.]
"Yes... Truly sorry. Though you will think me selfish, I still love Yuna... so... so only until I can tell her my heart... Could you wait for this wretched me?"
[...You really are selfish. You already understand my feelings, yet you ask me to wait until you confess to someone else...]
Cheon Seong could not lift his head at Beatrice's words.
He knew they were too selfish and worthless.
He asked her to wait until he could give his love to another person.
Where could one find words more selfish and wretched than that?
The thought that Beatrice might have stopped loving him made his body tremble.
He had expected rejection, yet the fear was overwhelming.
But when Beatrice answered, he startled and raised his head to look at her.
[Even if you are selfish, I will wait. I will wait until you tell Yuna your feelings.]
"Tr... really? Someone... someone like me... You don't hate me? You don't resent the me who cannot love only you?"
I could not understand how Beatrice, who should have been heartbroken at the thought of Yuna or her leaving for another man, could say she would wait.
[Of course this one wishes you would love only me.]
"Then why—"
Tap
Beatrice's clean, small hand touched his dirty body.
[Because I love you. Because I love the warm heart that hurts itself for me. I can wait as long as you like. In return]
Give me something first.
Before Cheon Seong could answer, Beatrice rose on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and drew near. Her beautiful face was right in front of him.
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