Be Honest — You're Dumping Them on Me, Right?
Business at the cafe went, quite literally, without a single hitch.
After we closed the doors and came home with the animals, the day had gone so smoothly that they already wanted to go back. Most of the people who showed up were subscribers who'd seen the community post promoting the place on my Mytube account, which meant they were animal lovers — and not one of them did anything that might have harmed the animals.
Even so, a lack of problems wasn't quite the same as a lack of complaints.
I read the reviews posted for my cafe on the portal site. There weren't many complaints, but they were real enough. The rating itself sat around 4.8 — high, yes, and still proof that unsatisfied people existed, if only a few.
"What are we supposed to do?"
Noona had seen the reviews too, and she watched me with a trace of worry. The cafe carried a name tied to mine... or rather, not so much my name as the Mytube channel, Nest of the Shinsoo. She must have figured that every single review could reach past the cafe and touch the channel as well.
But right then, there was no way to quiet those complaints. Nearly all of them came down to the same thing: not enough animals for the number of people. If the food had tasted bad, or the chairs had been uncomfortable, I could have fixed that overnight. These were complaints I had no answer for. Where was I supposed to find animals on the spot? Our cafe wasn't some run-of-the-mill place that grabbed whatever creature came along and stuck it in a pen, and even if I did bring some in, the odds of trouble were high.
"Still, I think we're going to have to bring some animals in somehow."
"We can't just drag in any old animal. What are you going to do?"
"That's the problem..."
At Noona's words I shook my head and let out a small sigh. She was right. I couldn't just haul in whatever I found. Thanks to my superpower, training and education were incredibly easy, but even so, snatching animals up at random didn't sit right with me.
"Pick uuup the phooone— the phooone— pick iiiit uuup—"
And right then, my phone went off.
"Will you please change that ringtone already?"
"Why? You can tell right away a call's coming in."
"And you think that's a good thing...?"
Noona looked at me as if I were beyond understanding. What? It's perfect for knowing it's the phone. I stared back at her with an equally baffled look for a moment, then glanced down at the screen.
"Huh? Elephant Uncle?"
The name on the display was Elephant — no. Ko Gil-hwi.
"Uncle."
"Oh, kid! Heard you opened the cafe today!"
"How'd you know?"
"How'd I know, you little rascal! I'm a subscriber too!"
Elephant Uncle bellowed it, making very sure I understood he subscribed.
"Ah, right... Is that why you called?"
"Yeah! Called to congratulate you! Couldn't come by on account of work, but I still gotta say congrats, don't I?"
"Thank you."
At that he burst into a great booming laugh and shouted that he'd drop by before long.
"Come whenever you like."
"Oh, right. There was something else I meant to say — almost forgot. Hey, you wouldn't happen to be thinking of taking in some animals, would you?"
"Sorry? Animals?"
"You know our zoo's owned by a company, right?"
"I know."
But why bring that up out of nowhere?
"Boss says keeping the zoo running is just too hard. Wants to send some of the animals somewhere else, told me to find a place that'll take 'em no matter what."
"You're sending them somewhere else?"
"Yep. Upkeep's no joke. We're not even open like a normal zoo, just burning money, so far as the company's concerned we're nothing but a headache."
"So you want to send them to my cafe?"
Uncle gave a vague heh-heh and tried to slide right past the question.
"Why not send them to another zoo? Our cafe's pretty big, but we can't take in an elephant."
"...You just said my name, didn't you."
"What, me? No I didn't."
"Pretty sure you did..."
Tch. Sharp, this one.
"Anyway, why our cafe, and not some other zoo?"
"Ah, that. Popular species and the big animals have a few places they can go, but for the small ones there aren't many places willing to take 'em..."
"Aha. So you're dumping the leftovers on me."
"Leftovers?! It's not like that, you brat!"
He denied it with everything he had, insisting it absolutely wasn't.
"You know how insanely hard it is to find a zoo that doesn't already have small animals like raccoons or geese, right? Rabbits, same thing."
"Uh... now that you mention it, I don't think I've ever seen a zoo without them. Especially the rabbits."
"Right? You can find rabbits at any old theme park. You know how much you make selling half a carrot wrapped in lettuce for a buck a pop? You'd do great if you had 'em too."
He kept insisting it would help me and that I absolutely had to take them. Hearing it, I had to admit it really might. We were an animal cafe, and not counting the magpies and crows we didn't even have ten animals between us, so this would clearly put an end to people waiting thirty minutes just to play with one. On top of that, animals from a zoo might already be used to humans, and they sat a fair step removed from ordinary pets, so the odds they'd do the cafe good were very high.
"Why so quiet? Taking 'em or not — give me an answer."
"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking. Would it be all right if I came and saw them myself before I decide?"
"Anytime!"
He said it like the only thing that mattered was that I take them somehow, and I decided I'd go first thing the next morning. It had only been a day, but from the way the cafe was running, it didn't look like I had to be on site the whole time.
"Noona, tomorrow I'm going to stop by the zoo at Children's Grand Park."
"That zookeeper uncle?"
"Yeah. He congratulated us on the opening, then asked if I felt like taking some animals off his hands."
"...How do those two things even connect?"
I gave her a short version of my talk with Elephant Uncle.
"That really is just dumping them on you, isn't it?"
"Well... it's not like that feeling isn't there. But it's true we're short on animals right now."
Noona nodded, as if she agreed.
"You're going first thing tomorrow, then?"
"Yeah. I'll head out early and be back before the afternoon."
"All right. Got it. Be careful. And if you're bringing any back, tell me ahead of time."
"I'm going tomorrow. Why are you talking like I'm leaving already? I'm sleeping right here with you tonight."
"Yah!"
I scooped Noona up and dove straight onto the bed. She looked a little startled, but it wasn't long before the two of us were having a very good time.
When morning came, I left her getting the cafe ready and headed for Choryang. My destination was the zoo at Children's Grand Park.
The entrance was hardly any different from the day I'd come to prove my ability. There still wasn't a single person in sight, and the same sign was still stuck up at the gate.
"But you're not stopping me."
I breezed right past the sign and went in. I was on good terms with the most senior of the keepers anyway, so I could. And you could call the place a kind of business partner besides, which meant there was no reason I shouldn't.
"Oh! Kid, you're here already? You could've called!"
Past the entrance, partway up the short slope, I saw Ko Gil-hwi coming slowly down toward me.
"Come on, come on, let's go in. Want some tea first?"
"Ah, I'm fine. I don't really drink anything but our cafe's coffee... And I've got to get back there in a bit."
"That so? Then let's go see the kids first."
Uncle led me straight to where the animals were.
"The ones I'd like you to take are over this way. You probably saw a few of 'em back when you were doing those detailed checks."
"You're not going to tell me to take the big ones, are you?"
"Come on, kid. I've got a brain. How would a big animal even fit in your cafe?"
So he isn't entirely without sense after all. Following him inside, I found the animals I'd come to know, though the scenery had changed a little. The big giraffe that used to greet me right at the entrance was gone.
"Where'd the giraffe go?"
"Him? Got moved off toward Seoul. That one went there."
"That's a shame."
"Can't be helped. That's how a zoo with no money ends up."
Uncle sighed and shook his head, looking regretful, but he soon shook it off and cheerfully steered me toward the animals he wanted me to take.
"Uh... hey. Aren't you that human from last time?"
First up was the raccoon I'd met during the detailed checks.
"You want me to take this one?"
"That's right. These days there isn't a zoo that wants raccoons. What with that comprehensive zoo management plan or whatever they call it, the raccoon cafes are disappearing, so hardly any zoo'll take those guys either."
"Ah... I heard about that. If it weren't for my superpower, I probably couldn't even have gotten started because of it."
"Anyway, thanks to all that, there isn't a single zoo in the country taking raccoons these days. So you take him."
The look on his face said he wanted me to take that raccoon no matter what. No — the raccoons, plural. There were two of them now, and he wanted both.
After that he introduced me to several more, still insisting I take them. Starting with the raccoons, he brought out rabbits, geese, and tortoises. He knew that if there were too many I'd obviously refuse, so he stuck to animals unlikely to put me off.
"Uncle. You're not actually dumping them on me, right?"
"Come on, kid. You don't trust me? I said it's not like that."
No matter how I look at it, this is dumping.
Even so, I was in a tight spot myself, so I decided to take the animals from him. Our cafe was registered as a zoo for the time being, and the transfer went through as an exchange between zoos.
"You took a taxi here, right?"
"Yeah. I'm planning to buy a car, but I'm still stuck on which one."
"Then I'll give you a ride. You've gotta take these guys with you anyway."
As if he were doing me a great favor, Uncle rounded up the kids I was taking and got in the car with me. The trunk was packed with rabbits, geese, and tortoises — enough that I started to wonder if I was taking too many. One of the raccoons couldn't stand the cramped space and was thrashing in the front seat, trying to climb into my arms.
"What're you doing! Hold me, and hurry up!"
Paws flailing, the raccoon barked at me to pick him up. Excuse me — is that any way to ask for a favor? But setting off like this would only be dangerous, so I gathered him up without much trouble. He was on the heavy side, but against a body conditioned by Maru, he was nothing.
"All right. We're off."
Uncle made sure I had one of the raccoons in my arms, then eased the car into motion.