The Zoo
"...Cramped. Way too cramped."
It was early morning. I'd herded the animals over to the cafe to get ready for opening, and the moment I looked around I was already shaking my head. Today, of all days, the place felt painfully small.
Running a pet hotel meant we were constantly taking in other people's animals, and the ones living at home had been having litters one after another until the headcount swelled. Namcat and Poksini's kittens, along with Gubaki and Miho's, were just big enough now to wander all over the place, and the cafe looked tighter by the hour. Worse, customers kept pouring in specifically to see the little ones that were still all wiggle and squirm, so of course the room felt ready to burst.
"What am I supposed to do? There's nowhere left to expand."
That was the real problem. We'd already pushed the cafe out as far as it would go, and growing it any bigger simply wasn't an option. I was still chewing on it, turning the question over and over, when my phone rang.
"Pick up the phooooone— the phooone— pick uuuuup—"
"Huh? Elephant Uncle."
The name lighting up the screen was one I hadn't seen in quite a while, and for no reason I could name it made me glad. I answered at once.
"Uncle. It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"Hey, yeah! You been doing all right?"
His voice was thick with the pleasure of hearing mine, and then he was off, rambling through this and that. The elephant was bored again these days. The giraffe keeper had taken a full shower of giraffe dung. That sort of thing.
"Oof. Is that keeper okay?"
"It's not poison, so he's fine. Just his mood and his uniform that got dirty. Puh-huh-huh!"
He burst out laughing like it was the best news he'd had all week. Okay, great story. But why did you actually call?
"Uncle. So what made you call all of a sudden?"
"Ah... well. That's the thing."
At my question he seemed to hesitate, just for a moment. Then he appeared to steel himself, and out came the thing he'd been holding back.
"You wouldn't happen to be hiring a keeper at that cafe of yours?"
"A keeper? Is something wrong at the zoo?"
"Well..."
His story, which started with an I don't know if I should even be saying this, was simple enough. The company that owned the zoo had decided it could no longer keep the place running, and the whole operation was about to be scattered to the wind. His workplace was on the verge of vanishing entirely, and Elephant Uncle needed a new job, one way or another. That was where things stood.
"A keeper would be nice, honestly... hmm? Uncle. Give me a second. I'll call you back in about ten minutes."
"Huh? Y-yeah, yeah. Do it however's easy."
I hung up and went straight to digging through the internet.
I'm sure I saw something about this in an article...
I was looking for anything on the zoo where Elephant Uncle worked. And reading through one piece, I found exactly what I wanted.
"Fifty billion won..."
I sat with that number for a moment.
The cafe was already at capacity, and there was nowhere left to expand. But expand we had to. Buying that zoo outright didn't sound half bad. A look at the account balance told me it wasn't exactly impossible, so I called Noona over and laid it out.
"Noona, you remember that zoo? The one at Choeup Children's Grand Park."
"That's where they verified your superpower. Why?"
"I was thinking of buying it. What do you think?"
"That place? How much?"
"I figure around fifty billion won."
At that, Noona's eyes flew wide. She clearly hadn't expected me to open my mouth and suggest spending fifty billion won on a zoo. A moment later, though, they settled back to normal, and she gave a slow nod.
"Hmm... I don't see why not. It's not like we're short on money, and I've been feeling how cramped the cafe is too. The animals look like they'd rather be somewhere with more room."
"Right?"
I grinned at her reaction.
"But can a private person even buy a place like that?"
"No idea. But I bet it's possible."
"Yeah? Then buy it."
With Noona's blessing, I called Elephant Uncle right back.
"Uncle!"
"Yeah. Something urgent come up?"
"No, nothing like that... Anyway, could I see you tomorrow? At the zoo, if that's all right."
"Here? Sure. Come whenever's easy."
He said he'd welcome me anytime, told me he'd see me tomorrow, and hung up.
"Wow. No matter when I come, this hill is steep. If I buy the place, am I going to have to put in a moving walkway?"
Climbing the sharp slope inside Choeup Children's Grand Park, I couldn't help noticing the downsides. Not that the climb was a downside for me. My stamina had grown right along with the animals'.
At the top the zoo came into view, and Elephant Uncle was waiting out front.
"Uncle!"
"Oh, you're here! Come on in."
The moment he saw me he broke into a bright grin and welcomed me like family. Well, of course he would. He'd been out looking for a new job, and here came the owner of the very workplace he wanted.
"Shall we head up?"
"Sure."
He was so glad to see me he even hauled me into a tight squeeze, and then the two of us made our way slowly up into the zoo.
The grounds that ought to have been packed with people didn't have a single soul in sight. If anything, the place felt even more deserted than the last time I'd come. Like walking through a ghost town.
"So why'd you want to meet here? Your cafe'd be more comfortable for a talk, wouldn't it?"
"It's too cramped. We've been getting way too many customers lately..."
"Must be nice, you brat. I wish we were getting a few customers of our own, but those damn company bastards are the problem."
"Heh. Don't worry."
I packed the words with as much meaning as they'd hold, but Elephant Uncle didn't seem to catch any of it. He just shook his head and, as if he hadn't felt a thing, led me to his office.
"You drink coffee mix? Otherwise all I've got is aloe juice."
"Aloe, then. I've gotten hooked on my sister-in-law's coffee, so I can't stomach the instant mix anymore."
He pulled two bottles of aloe juice from the fridge, set them on the table, sat down across from me, and looked at me like a man waiting to be told why I'd come all this way.
"Uncle. You need a job, right?"
"Well... yeah, I do. No telling when this zoo gets torn apart."
Maybe asking for work embarrassed him a little. He scratched at his head, awkward.
"But you like it here, don't you?"
"That too. I've been here ten-something years and nothing else. Nowhere I'm more used to. If I had my way, I'd be out protesting, telling the city of Busan to keep its damn promise."
He sighed, heavy and deep, and I smiled at him.
"Uncle. You can reach the parent company, right? Tell whoever's actually in charge of the zoo to get their head down here. Right now."
"Huh?"
"What?"
"Want me to say it again?"
"N-no! Hold on, wai—urk! Wait!"
He shot up so fast he cracked his thigh on the table. The whole thing jumped, and he didn't even seem to feel it. Then he was on the phone with someone, bellowing.
"Hey—hey, Assistant Manager Kim! Put me through to Director Ok, now! What? No, call his personal number if you have to! This is huge! No, damn—! I'm not cursing. Anyway! Somebody just walked in who wants to buy the zoo, you hear me? So tell the director to get his ass over here!"
He summoned the executive the way an enraged elephant charges. And it worked. Before thirty minutes had passed, the very Executive Ok he'd named walked in.
"P-pleased to meet you! I'm Ok Dae-ho, executive director of Wonmuldong Corporation!"
In he bustled, out of breath, mopping the sweat pouring down his scalp. They don't call him Executive Ok because his name is Ok. They call him that because his head shines like polished jade.
"Hello. I'm Shin Suhwan. The Druid."
"Yes, I know. I'm a subscriber of yours, Lord Shinsoo. It's truly an honor to meet you."
Executive Ok sidled in with a request for just one autograph and held out a crisp sheet of paper. I let out a short laugh, signed it, and he tucked it away like something precious.
Autograph secured, he got down to business.
"So... you'd like to acquire our zoo?"
"Yes. One way and another, I think I'm going to need it."
"In that case, regarding the price..."
"The seller ought to name it first, don't you think?"
At that, a bead of sweat slid down Executive Ok's temple, and his mind started spinning.
Sell it cheap, and the company had to swallow the losses it had already taken. Sell it dear, and with no other buyer anywhere in sight, the sale itself might fall apart. I could see both worries written on his face. He thought it over, then opened his mouth carefully.
"Forty-five billion won... would that be acceptable? I'll be frank with you. That's the floor. We can sell at that figure only by absorbing part of what we've invested and lost."
I nodded at once. It was roughly the range I'd had in mind from the news. I needed this zoo, and haggling until the deal died would be the real loss.
"Shall we sign right now, then?"
"S-so decisive!"
We'd already agreed on a price. There was no point dragging it out. I went straight to Byeong-jin — Mungchi's owner, and my lawyer — and had him close the deal. In a flash the title transferred, and the zoo was mine. Completely.
"Thank you!"
Executive Ok left wearing a bright, innocent smile, plainly delighted to have disposed of a zoo that did nothing but bleed the company dry. Only Elephant Uncle remained at my side.
"You're keeping everyone on, right? The employment transfers."
"Heh. Who's to say?"
"The Suhwan I know would obviously do it!"
"All right, all right. Don't worry. I'll take on every last one of them. If anything, I'm going to have to hire even more."
"WHOOOO!"
Elephant Uncle threw his arms up and cheered, joy spilling out of him with nowhere to hide. I left him to it and set about getting the zoo ready to open again.
The moment reporters caught wind of what I was doing, the articles came pouring out.
The pieces started whipping up expectations for the zoo I'd bought, and I finished the preparations in a hurry, determined to live up to them.