Wait, That's Not a Cat—That's a Lion
"Everyone, welcome today's guest of honor—Miss Lupin."
Applause swelled from the crowd packed at the foot of the stairs, and Lupin set a hand over her heart and bent at the waist. Not because the dress left the upper curve of her chest on full display. She was only doing, mechanically, exactly what she had been told.
The bow itself was fine. Etiquette carried out with the body was child's play to Lupin.
The problem was the words.
"Hello……"
Do I say 'honored'? 'A pleasure'? 'Greetings, one is called—' no, that's not it.
She had already forgotten the greeting and was grinding to a halt. Even so, sheer burning willpower dragged the right answer out of her somehow. This was a manner of speech she had learned by burning the memory of a full hundred treasure chests. Forget it after paying that steep a price, and her heart would tear clean in two.
Aigoo. Paid for with my own money.
"Good evening, honored guests. Thank you for taking your seats. My name is Lupin. You have welcomed me so warmly that I hardly know what to do with myself. Your Excellency the Prime Minister—my sincere thanks for that splendid introduction."
A beautiful face. Beautiful poise. Beautiful speech. The trinity landed all at once and struck every watching heart, and this, without question, was the greatest con in the world.
The applause went on for a while. Only once it faded did the Prime Minister open his mouth again.
"I hope you will all enjoy your conversations with Miss Lupin. For today, at least, I yield my turn to our guests."
He winked at her. The Holy Ark could wait until people had calmed down a little.
What? We weren't doing it right now?
I went through all of this for the Holy Ark!
Lupin clenched her teeth and barely hauled the thoughts raging just short of a rampage back under control. Working herself into a frenzy wouldn't get it done. The Holy Ark wasn't something you could walk into and out of whenever you pleased. Go in and get trapped, and that was the end of the world—because she would never open another treasure chest again!
She nodded as if she understood. The Prime Minister nodded with her and turned toward the crowd.
"Everyone! Miss Lupin is a precious guest of the Republic. Accord her the respect and consideration you would show in dealing with Us—no. With me."
Another surprise guest was due in an hour or two, but the Prime Minister deliberately left that name off his tongue. Emelin was regarded as that much of an unhandleable bomb. Speak it, and it would be no different from announcing a terrorist threat in the middle of the ballroom.
The Prime Minister went down first, and Lupin followed. She descended in the pointed heels she had grown used to by now, and at the very front of the stairs stood one peculiar man.
A middle-aged man in a mask—or rather, Yegor, pretending to be one.
He started to speak and froze. Where had the beast gone that used to wail for food, and who was this noble young lady? Trimmed bangs and hair let down at the back had softened that rough, fierce impression, and makeup had refined the face into something extraordinary—a peerless beauty. Even Yegor, who hardly reacted to ordinary beauties, flinched for a moment. The instant he remembered there was a little beast inside, though, his composure came back just as fast.
"An honor to meet you. I am Labzenti Pavlovich Beremiya, in charge of the Republic's newspaper enterprise."
For the record, Lupin knew at a glance that the masked man in front of her was Yegor.
What's this guy doing here.
Even Lupin, indifferent to people as she was, remembered a companion model she traveled with. Vatslava's volume made her impossible not to remember even if you tried… and if Lupin didn't know where the knowledge vending machine was, the one who suffered was Lupin, so she had no choice but to remember.
Wondering whose face he had borrowed, she flicked a glance at her cheat sheet. To the eye, a dignified man of middle years…
Count Labzenti Pavlovich Beremiya
(Caution) Likes children
For the record, the man who had annotated the cheat sheet was Yegor. And knowing that, he picked this person? Or not? On purpose? He must have blackmailed him, or taken a hostage. Either way, just having a sane person nearby was a relief.
Figuring she ought to say something, Lupin played along at a reasonable level.
"Hello. I happened to read the articles, actually. They were quite interesting."
"I'm glad they pleased you. Which brings me to my point—would you consider granting our paper an exclusive interview?"
"An exclusive interview?"
"The whole world is curious about you, Miss Lupin. The nobles here can at least meet you separately like this. Ordinary people have nothing but rumors, and they want to know the Republic's hero a little better."
It was the noble habit of talking in circles, the sort of thing she wouldn't have understood before. The point was: make some time later. She never would have caught it in the past, so she had no choice but to thank Teacher Kakavita.
"I'll come find you after I've greeted the guests. Thank you for the offer."
To Yegor, that response was a shock fit to shake heaven and earth. She had understood a carefully pitched question perfectly. A beast whose conversation had never risen above poop was doing a flawless impression of a person. How could he not be stunned? And then, unbidden, Emelin came to mind. If she, too, had met a good teacher when she was young, her nursemaid might not have aged quite so catastrophically…
"Thank you. I shouldn't keep taking a distinguished person's time, so I'll take my leave."
The moment Yegor stepped away, someone else shot into the spot. Lupin dealt with them passably, and then it was someone else. A few words, and then someone else again. A wave of people rolled in without end, and the rotation was slow, because for as long as Lupin was deploying proper noble speech, her thoughts ran deep and her words came out wretchedly slow.
Naturally, her patience and her mental stamina wore down by degrees. Her stomach fussed that it was already empty. Her throat screamed that it was about to shrivel to nothing, and would she please stop talking.
How much longer passed like that?
A young lady appeared before Lupin, watching her face for an opening.
"Hello, Miss Lupin. I am Yevgenya Sergeyevna Krasnova."
Aigoo. That's long.
Lupin flicked a glance at the cheat sheet.
Yevgenya Sergeyevna Krasnova, the Baron's Daughter
(Caution) Do not join in gossip
…She's a bitch.
"There is something I must tell you in confidence. Might I borrow your ear for a moment?"
The voice, though, was soft as a whisper video left playing at bedtime, and quite worth hearing. Lupin tipped an ear toward her, as if to say go on, then.
"The truth is, the count you spoke with first… is a pedophile. I feared you might not know, so I dared to warn you. Given his tastes he won't lay a hand on you, but he is a vile man."
Masochism, and now pedophilia on top of it. Lupin let out a short snort at the thought of teasing Yegor later. That aside, Yevgenya definitely had a problem with her character. Join this sort of person's backbiting and you got dragged into pointless gossip. Teacher Kakavita had told her to be careful, but Lupin also had wisdom hard-won from office life.
"Ah. I see."
She put up a wall with the phrase she used to wear like a habit. Talking was a pain. Take the hint and leave.
At that lukewarm reaction, Yevgenya's guts went cold.
…Don't tell me she noticed?
A guilty conscience was prickling her own foot. Earlier, at the tailor's, Yevgenya had badmouthed Lupin in her head, and that was why. This was precisely why a person ought to live without shame before heaven. Still, Yevgenya had more nerve than the other young ladies who had already fled the party and been marked as spies of the Order.
I can't back down now.
Plenty of the companions she had gossiped with were still behind her. Yevgenya was acutely aware of them, certain that if she failed to lock in Lupin's opinion here, they would pin the crime on her. So-called hatred of one's own kind. Villains never trust one another, and so betrayal and scheming run this wild.
"M-Miss Lupin?"
"I see."
"Pardon?"
"I see."
Lupin repeated the mechanical reply. If she'd had any spare room in her head she might have varied the phrasing, but she was already exhausted, and hungry.
Hold your breath. Inhale!
Unto the one who endures, let there be a Holy Ark!
Yegor had aura raised and ready, but seeing her like this he neither tugged the signal line nor called out. She was still a normal person, and still inside what noble speech allowed. Which meant the one growing anxious was Yevgenya.
"Ah. And—also. Earlier I overheard someone insulting you, Miss Lupin. At the tailor's. Those people are at this party right now. I know exactly who every one of them is."
Point them out before someone pointed at her, and live. A rather simple idea—and a bizarre sight, a prisoner already frightened walking herself straight into the prisoner's dilemma.
Sure enough. From behind, one of Yevgenya's friends shrieked that she refused to be the only one to go down.
"Th-that's not fair!! Lady Krasnova was the most serious about the gossip…!"
And she was hardly the only one.
"I'm not fair either! We all insulted her together, and now she tries to slip out alone! I will never forgive her!!"
They sprang up like bamboo after rain. She and her companions pointed at one another and shot their hands into the air, and the crowd naturally parted to make room. The people who had traded gossip about Lupin gathered, growling, into a circular arena formed by the press of bodies…
"What did you just say? When did I ever say that?"
"Hah! Lying just to save your own skin! Well, blood will tell, won't it?"
"Excuse me?! Are you done talking!?"
"Ack—ah! Let go! Kyaa! You crazy bitch!"
Whoa. Incredible.
They were actually grabbing each other by the hair and fighting. Watching a vicious battle between women the likes of which she had never seen in her life, Lupin's mental fatigue vanished on the spot. Naturally she wanted popcorn—and hadn't the crowd just opened the path that had been blocked?
Lupin gathered her skirts in both hands and slipped behind the onlookers in an instant. A moment later one hand held a plate heaped with food, and the other a single fork. No one even noticed she had moved. The young ladies were tangled up fighting, and no one could tear their eyes away.
Dmitri, who had come running down the stairs to quell the uproar, muttered like a sigh.
"…There is no disgrace quite like this disgrace."
Under a sudden dopamine shower, Lupin's original way of speaking popped out.
"I'm fine with it. Why not just let them keep fighting?"
"That will not do. Knights! What are you standing around for! Throw every troublemaker out!"
Is this what it feels like to tear into fried chicken while watching mixed martial arts? I've eaten in front of a Riore broadcast a few times, but this hits different.
Food began to vanish from Lupin's plate as if by magic. By the time every young lady had been dragged out, she had emptied no fewer than three heaping plates and put away an entire bottle of wine. She dabbed around her mouth with the handkerchief Kakavita had given her, wiping away every trace of food, and smiled, clear and bright.
"Shall we pick up where we left off? Who's next?"
Somewhere along the way, Lupin had returned to being a perfectly proper noble young lady. Thanks to that, Yegor—watching from the second floor—arrived at one more realization.
Right now, Lupin looked like an utterly ordinary person. Full, and satisfied. Before she was full, she had been on edge. But that was an ordinary human being. Satisfy a physiological need, and a human becomes something more than a rational, reasonable animal.
And Lupin, on an ordinary day? Hungry or full, she was a disaster either way.
"Don't tell me there's another desire underneath the basic ones…?"
Lupin was a breed apart, someone who could become a true person only once her treasure-chest desire was satisfied—before any physiological need. He had to wonder whether she even qualified to be called human. The pattern called to mind the old saying that a full lion does not hunt. Hungry for treasure chests, she hunted. Satisfied by treasure chests, she lolled about. And when the need arose, as now, she became a person…
"No way."
A pointless throb started at the back of Yegor's skull, and the future began to come into view.
"If she fails to open the Holy Ark this time, does that mean she turns back into a little beast……."
