Something's Off About This Secondhand Newbie

The talent the status window had opened for her.

In game terms, it was like a core ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠trait that came bundled in the moment a character broke through.

You only had to look at the two talents the Phantom Thief already possessed. Strip those away, and what was left? A steamed bun with none of the filling. No—not even a bun at all.

So a new talent? There was no resisting that.

Lupin's wishful-thinking engine roared to life.

Is it finally going to open a talent for detecting Secret Chests?

Does that mean I won't have to go poking around everywhere like a nuisance anymore?

We're really in sync, aren't we, Big Bro Status!

The flavor text was, of course, skipped this time too.

The moment she saw the choices, Lupin's eyes nearly rolled back in her head.

Secret Chest detection. The very talent she had been dying for.

Who was it that called pigeons the devil's spawn?

From now on, a pigeon that finds treasure chests is an angel pigeon.

Just wander around with an angel pigeon, and the information would come whooshing in like auto-fishing left to run on its own. Far easier than beating a few people until they coughed up what they knew—she'd be able to walk right up to a Secret Chest.

Ah, but this is such a tease.

I'm grateful it shows up when I need it, but come on, pile it on. Like a foul-mouthed grandma with a generous heart, yeah?

Aigoo, you greedy little shit, your greed is downright filthy!—and then just dump the whole heap on me. Would that kill you?

And yet, even as she nitpicked the status window's stingy portions, Lupin had no idea why it surfaced right on cue in the first place.

A curious star. It wants to experience everything in the world.

Lupin was the apostle that star had sent, and the eye through which the star looked upon the human world.

If she wanted, she could learn anything. She could become anything.

Put another way, the status window was quietly telling her—on behalf of Destiny's Star—to gather every kind of experience, and make their power her own.

Lupin neither knew nor cared about any of that. She was too busy wailing wah, wah.

She hadn't actually turned into a baby. She was simply in a wah-wah state, a baby whose bottle—the one full of treasure chests—had been snatched away.

And so the status window remained strict, solemn, and dead serious.

No matter how she ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠threw a fit, she got exactly what had been allotted, and nothing more.

Tch. Not working.

Glum, Lupin dropped back into her conversation with Tassili.

"But… why would you want to teach the sword to me, of all people?"

Once Lupin's mood lifted, a smile found Tassili's lips as well.

In a voice softened by that much, he said:

"I saw talent. At my age, I suppose one could say an eye develops for sprouts that will amount to something. Or that, whether I wish it or not, the road a young person ought to walk simply becomes visible…."

In an atmosphere this warm, he could use the sword as a pretext and teach Lupin some social sense along with it. A feral human, never raised by human hands, could be returned to the fold of people. If you don't want to be fooled by people, you have to understand them well. Talk with them, enjoy a game, pass cups back and forth, and a person socializes as a matter of course. Gain a profound realization somewhere in that process, and you acquire an eye of discernment, as Tassili had—the ability to see through the essence of things and of people. For Lupin, who might be dragged off into chaos at any moment, it was the most important ability of all.

"I have no intention of grinding you as harshly as my other disciples. You are already a Formless Aura User, Miss Lupin, so even if I were to pass on structured aura, you would be unable to absorb it."

"That's true, too."

"So I will give you a few simple but effective forms, and a practical feel for how best to fight when you meet a swordsman. More than half the Aura Users in this world take the sword as their companion, so it should prove quite useful."

"Ooh."

"And as a bonus, how to read ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠people. I will teach you a little of that as well."

"People? Why?"

"What kinds of attacks they favor. The manner in which they rush in. What rhythms they are accustomed to. If you can see such things with your eyes beforehand, will they not be far easier to handle?"

Lupin could tell strong from weak, but she couldn't read an opponent's specialty at a glance. Hadn't the sages of old said that he who knows the enemy and knows himself shall never lose a battle? One of the very few classical idioms she actually knew!

"Hmm. You've got a point."

"What do you say. Would you like to try learning?"

But here a prickle of anxiety lifted its head.

Getting taught and gaining detection was all well and good.

So… you're not going to look for Secret Chests for a while?

You're ditching your chests?

But detecting Secret Chests required Pigeon Magic. And to properly use the Pigeon Magic that had only been opened on a temporary basis, she had to obtain ten Secret Chests. And the talent for detecting Secret Chests opened only if she accepted Tassili's proposal.

It wasn't even a question of which came first, the chicken or the chick.

Wait—was it the egg, not the chick?

Anyway, Lupin's head was a tangle.

And right in front of her sat a gentle, kindly old man.

Flash. The monster who ate treasure chests in place of meals stopped suppressing her true instincts and started throwing a tantrum for food.

"I have a favor to ask."

Fortunately, Tassili was prepared to grant whatever favor it might be. Simply being accepted into a master-and-disciple bond already had him beaming.

"What kind of favor? You need only say the word."

"Treasure chests. I mean—I want to find things like safes that bad guys have hidden. Could you maybe help?"

"Safes… you say? Well, villains do have a habit of hiding ill-gotten loot somewhere, so if one looks, they are not difficult to find."

"Right? I'm kind of really interested in those safes."

"…Could it be that you covet the stolen goods inside?"

"No. Not that. Just the safe itself."

Come to think of it, even after cleaning out Milwi's safe, Lupin hadn't taken all the treasure inside—and she had even left the heads of Milwi and the Vladimir brothers right where they were when she walked out.

"The safe itself. So… a box?"

"More precisely, I like opening boxes that have something decent inside."

It wasn't perfect unless the collection count went up as well, but other people couldn't see the status window, so Lupin didn't bother explaining that far.

In any case, it was a flimsy explanation to anyone listening. Tassili's curiosity wasn't fully settled, so he asked once more.

"You have no interest whatsoever in the contents? Under Association rules, any treasure acquired after dealing with a wanted criminal belongs to the adventurer, regardless of the amount…."

For a moment it seemed that curiosity might finally be resolved.

"It's just… I don't really need it."

Not at all.

An adventurer lives with death hanging at their hip. And yet people still lined up to become adventurers, because the pay was sweet. Weather a brush with death in someone else's place, and you got to enjoy honor and wealth. For anyone with a bit of strength who didn't want to think too hard, it was nothing short of a dream job.

Lupin, on the other hand, was… how to put it.

She really seemed to open treasure chests out of nothing but interest.

But if that was the case—if someone satisfied that interest—could they also stop her from heading toward chaos?

And so Tassili's little psychology experiment began.

"If all you wish is to open the safes of wanted criminals, I can use my authority to place you temporarily in a subjugation party about to depart. Or I could organize the information on the relevant wanted criminals for you."

And just like that, for the first time in five long years, someone appeared who took Lupin's intentions exactly as they were, without ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠twisting them.

Color rose in her face.

She'd been needing to fill her Secret Chest quota and activate Pigeon Magic anyway, hadn't she?

In her eyes, Tassili was a finer master, a finer elder, than anyone else in the world.

"Ah, the great Tassili. I worship you. The GOAT."

Late in the evening, Lupin carved out a portion of the hours she usually spent hunting treasure chests and gave them to Tassili.

Their meeting place was an empty lot near the Association branch.

For about two hours she learned thrusts, cuts, and overhead strikes. The motions themselves weren't difficult, so Lupin grew familiar with them quickly, but the raw look of someone who had only just picked them up still showed all over her. Most of the training, then, was spent cutting away wasted movement and stringing only the effective motions into a single form.

Whatever she was shown, Lupin followed along readily. And because what she wanted from swordsmanship was so clear, even this completely new way of teaching never once snagged.

Eye-level instruction went on like that for three days.

Lupin was able to learn, nearly to perfection, a single form of the Shadowless Sword Style—the eastern ultimate art that had made Tassili the Sword Emperor.

The speed of the learning itself leapt far beyond the range of an ordinary person. It was possible only because three Growth Values held her up: Agility, Dynamic Vision, and Strength.

The weight and length of a real blade kept her arm from reaching full speed, which was something of a hurdle. She solved that, too, by raising Strength from Grade VI to Grade VIII.

Click.

Finishing her tenth demonstration of the form that day, Lupin sheathed the Lightning Sword Tassili had bestowed on her.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

Tassili applauded, looking thoroughly satisfied.

"Remarkable. To grow this familiar in only three days…."

"Hehehe… You think so? At this rate, won't I be a Sword Master before long?"

It was true that Lupin learned with something like genius, but praise her too much and that nose of hers would launch straight into orbit. So Tassili slipped in a light jab.

"If growing familiar with a single form were enough for that, half the world would already be Sword Masters."

"Urk."

"To begin with, you are a Formless Aura User, Miss Lupin. You cannot become like a Sword Master, who wields both aura blades and sword aura."

"Yeah, fair."

"And fix the habit of closing your eyes when you unleash the cut. No matter how powerful the slash, if you do not look your enemy properly in the eye, it will miss more often than not."

The form she had spent three whole days learning was simply far too similar to the lightning-fast sword of that sleeping blonde in an anime a friend had pushed on her. Lupin just didn't bother saying so out loud.

Since she had gone quiet, Tassili took the turn again.

"More importantly—have you read the materials on the people who will be your temporary comrades tomorrow, and on the subjugation target?"

"I did look at a few sentences…."

"The sword is the sword. But I did say you would have to learn people as well."

"I—I was going to read it properly, starting now."

Lupin was not the sort of person who changed because someone nagged her. But the subjugation target was a powerhouse who, in his prime, had crossed blades with Tassili himself. Even if he had weakened somewhat since then, Tassili would have to pin her to a desk and make her read the materials before they set out.

"And before you leave, go see your friend's face once. Vanish all of a sudden, and they will worry."

A friend?

A beat late, a few keywords flickered through Lupin's head.

Orphaned brat. A keepsake. A bartender….

"……The branch is pretty safe, right?"

"Adventurers are stationed there around the clock, so safe is the only thing it can be. Meals, if you need them. A place to sleep as well."

Then that's enough.

No way they end up some orphaned brat.

Lupin nodded and, without another word, only smiled.