You're Driving Me Out of My Mind
You're driving me out of my mind.
I never once imagined that the place Song Yura had gone to look for a part-time job would turn out to be the convenience store where I used to work.
If the owner wasn't around, I'd planned to pick up a few more condoms. If he was, I'd meant to at least say hello—it was about time I finally quit for real.
The moment I opened the door, I was startled by the owner's angry voice, something I hadn't heard in over three years. Then I was startled even harder when I realized the person taking that anger was Song Yura.
"Hic... hic..."
Why was this woman crying every single time I saw her?
"I-I mean... I-I really didn't know. That this place was, I mean..."
She really must not have known.
At least going by the Song Yura I'd been seeing lately, she wasn't nearly as shrewd as I'd once assumed. If anything, she had a naive side that made everything I'd known about her before feel like a complete lie.
Damn it.
I didn't understand why I felt this way, but I didn't want to watch anyone make her cry. Even knowing the owner was doing it for my sake, it still rubbed me the wrong way—just a little.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry... I'm the bad one here. Really. Please believe me."
"All right, all right! I believe you. I believe you."
"...!"
I pulled Song Yura—whose eyes had gone round as a rabbit's—into my arms and walked straight out of the convenience store.
The owner watched me with worried eyes at the sight, but I couldn't even manage an answer. I was too confused myself to spare any consideration for him.
You've really lost it, Han Naengjung.
I'd always believed that my lack of mercy and my coldness were strengths. And yet the second I stood in front of Song Yura, I went soft as tofu.
Anyone could see I was worrying about her, looking out for her. I had no intention of denying it.
What worried me was whether this applied only to Song Yura... or whether I'd end up the same way with anyone else.
If I'm really that soft, it's going to throw a serious wrench into everything I've got planned.
Unlike Han Suhui, who was practically an angel, I'd believed I was walking the path of a demon—and that belief was what had made those plans possible in the first place.
But what if I'd misjudged my own nature?
What if anyone who begged for forgiveness and dropped to their knees the way Song Yura did could make my heart weaken and hand out pity?
With ideals and feelings that pathetic, I would never be able to walk the road I meant to walk.
"You're driving me out of my mind. Seriously."
How was it possible that, even now, the biggest headache in my entire life was still this woman?
She flinched—
Apparently she'd misunderstood me again, because Song Yura started condemning herself with a face full of despair.
"I-I'm sorry. Far from being any help, all I ever do is irritate you, Master. At this rate, wouldn't it be better if I just died?"
"Song Yura. That isn't yours to decide."
"Ah... right. I still owe you money, after all. If I died irresponsibly..."
"That's not it."
I raised my voice without meaning to and pressed a hand to my forehead.
"It's not that kind of problem, and that's exactly why it's more of a headache."
"Then..."
Maybe the smartest move was to just let it slide. If I suddenly said something strange, Song Yura might take an even harder hit—or, out of nowhere, snap right back into the person she used to be.
But I was the type who couldn't stand leaving things bottled up.
"I'm worried because I don't hate you the way I used to. You getting that?"
"...!"
"Do you know why I contacted you the second I got out of that place? If I told you that for three straight days, the woman who came to mind more than anyone else was you—do you think you could believe that?"
"Th-that's..."
She sniffled hard.
I had no idea what she thought she'd done wrong this time to start crying. I let out a long, incredulous sigh—and then Song Yura, tears still clinging to her lashes, wrapped both arms tight around my waist and sobbed into me.
"...Me too. I was the same. Hic. So I never even imagined you'd say something like that. And then you suddenly... waaah, waaah..."
"Shit."
In that moment, I found myself pathetic for not being able to coldly shove her away—and somehow, I didn't hate it.
The sweet scent unique to Song Yura's body, and that small, fragile softness that felt like it would crumble if I held her even a little too hard, were comforting me. I didn't want to believe it. I had no choice but to believe it.
"I wouldn't be like this with a man. But I'm losing my mind worrying that I might go this soft with other women too."
"Hic... hic... Don't say that to me either."
"I wouldn't be doing this if I could help it."
"...When you put it like that, it just makes me greedier. I keep hoping that maybe I'm special to you, Master—and that you wouldn't do this with anyone else."
Stupid girl.
Even if ours was a cursed connection, Song Yura was always going to be a special woman to me.
Either way, I didn't like this moment one bit.
"I'll talk to the owner. Just go home like this."
"What? B-but..."
"No buts. You're going to walk around looking like that?"
Did Song Yura have any idea how hard I was holding myself back right now? If I'd followed the urge, I would have shoved her down right there on the spot, stripped her bare, and taken her.
Other people's eyes didn't matter in the slightest.
I'd just beaten something that, by my standards, had been a monstrous opponent—an orc warrior. Between the high of that victory and the stress and terror built up from dying countless times, there was nothing better for burning it all off than devouring Song Yura's body.
Especially for someone with my temperament, the fact that I was restraining myself at all meant I was looking out for her that much.
And this woman, completely oblivious, just looked up at me with that innocent face and said:
"Y-you never even told me why you called me, Master. You said to contact you after the interview. And my interview's over now."
"...Forget it. I changed my mind."
The old Song Yura could never have looked at anyone with eyes that pure. She'd been the kind of woman who stuck a cigarette in her mouth and looked down on me like I was trash.
The sheer gap between then and now—the bewilderment and the inexplicable pull of it—was far too dangerous for someone like me, who only really knew one woman.
So I turned my back, intending to get out of there before I lost what little self-control I had left.
And yet, somehow...
"Th-then... could we at least go to a motel together? Y-you've still got time before your shift, Master..."
"You..."
"I-I want to go. Really. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if I don't get to serve you. I've practiced a lot too. I mean... I might still be hopeless and way behind when it comes to a regular job, but with this, I think I can manage okay. So please."
Song Yura grabbed my hand tight as she said it, and I felt the last frayed thread of my self-control snap. I still didn't understand how a woman with tear tracks still on her face could look that sexy—or how it could make lust boil up in me this hard.
"Don't come crying to me later when you regret it. It won't do you any good."
"...!"
I'd said it to scare her a little. Instead, Song Yura lit up like she might die of happiness, clenched those tiny fists, and shouted:
"I-I will never regret it! I really wanted to go! If it were up to me, I'd do it every day—no, I'd go every day!"
"..."
In a completely different way, Song Yura was even more honest than I was. My face went hot, and I covered my mouth with my hand before I could stop myself.
...Whoa. How is a single guy supposed to survive this?
"U-um, Master!"
"...?"
"Would it be all right if someone like me dared to take your arm?"
I let out a small sigh and, without a word, lifted my elbow just enough to make space. Song Yura beamed at the empty gap and slipped her arm through.
"Thank you. And... I'm sorry again."
"Drop it. It's water under the bridge. Spilled milk."
"You said you can't put it back, right? So from now on, I'll do better—and try to fill a new cup, at least."
"...Yeah."
At this point, even someone as suspicious as me had no choice but to believe Song Yura. Her devotion was genuine.
She truly wanted to atone to me.
And if even this turned out to be an act meant to deceive me—if all of it was a lie... I had the feeling I might end up hurt worse than I ever had before.
Jinhu Motel
I'd wondered whether a motel would even exist somewhere this out of the way, but it seemed like every neighborhood had at least a few buildings of them.
This one, like Cosmotel, was an unmanned motel too.
Population and lifespans keep climbing, and yet as the world advances, fewer and fewer people are actually needed for the work. That's the era we're heading into.
Of course, if technology advanced far enough that humans no longer had to work at all and could simply enjoy themselves, that would be ideal. But if instead it became an age where only a tiny handful of workers got to be happy... then the world might end up drowning in misery instead.
In a way, right now might be the middle stage—the transition period—before we step fully into that kind of era.
But even that kind of fretting didn't really matter anymore.
Next year...
In 2026, the age of the Awakened would begin. Monsters and dungeons would appear, and the world would be forced into a Great Upheaval that overturned every prediction anyone had ever made.
And in that world, Han Suhui would become someone who could achieve everything she wanted.
Even if she never awakened an ability of her own.
Because I'll make sure of it.
Right now was the time to lay the groundwork for that.
In a way, even managing my condition through sex with Song Yura could be called one more step toward that goal, couldn't it?
Bullshit...
I flushed at how neatly I'd dressed it up for myself. It wasn't for any of that. I'd simply lost to lust—to the charm of Song Yura tempting me.
"It says if you're paying by card, you have to call the counter separately. So even though it's unmanned, there must be someone around. I'll call them now."
"No, forget it. I've got cash. We'll use that."
"N-no! I'll pay. I was the one who asked to come. And I already owe you so much money—I can't make you pay on top of that."
"I'd rather not call someone who lives in this neighborhood. It's more embarrassing that way."
There was absolutely no chance Han Suhui would catch me like this, or that word of it would ever reach her ears.
Even so, walking into a motel with Song Yura in the neighborhood where I lived was more mortifying than I'd expected.
Of course, if she ever asked me about it, I had no intention of lying or hiding it. But if she never asked, I had no intention of volunteering the answer either.
Click.
"Mmph—mmph! I-I wa thying to pay for ih—!"
In the end I clamped a hand over the mouth of Song Yura, who looked ready to die before she let me pay, hauled her tight against me, finished the cash payment, and took the key.
Room 301
We rode the elevator waiting right beside the counter. Just like before, the light on the door marked 301 was blinking.
"Service is really good these days."
"Yeah."
Click—
The inside of the motel was clean and well-kept enough that you'd never believe it sat in a backwater neighborhood. Maybe advancing technology had leveled things out to some degree.
But none of that mattered anymore.
The second I shut the door and we kicked off our shoes side by side, I was already a beast in heat from nothing more than the sight of Song Yura's pale throat.
"Kyaa...!"
In one motion I threw Song Yura onto the bed and climbed on top of her.