The Orc Slave of the Dungeon (2)
"Brother. Let's run."
What on earth is this guy talking about? I let out a scoff while gutting a wild boar Tural and I had hunted near the dungeon.
"Bullshit."
"It is no joke, brother. You are far too precious a being to be slaughtered by such a tyrant. Just look at this, for instance."
Tural gestured toward the boar meat I had finished cleaning. The salt-crusted roast, seasoned with crushed rock salt, was a delicacy Tural couldn't get enough of. Sizzle. The meat was roasting directly over the firewood.
Tural picked up a boar leg bone with his bare hands and asked me, "Brother, what do you call this?"
"Ah, that is called barbecue. A cooking method I won't be able to enjoy in three days' time."
Just thinking about that bitch Forneus makes me so pissed I can't even speak properly. Fortunately, Tural was quite used to my foul mood, and the two of us chatted while tearing into the boar meat.
"So, brother, let's run."
"Bullshit. 'Run'? You mean you're going to bolt with me, right now?"
"If it means saving my brother."
Tural gripped his hammer, Stormblast—which was as good as his own body—with a face full of resolve. I threw the meatless bone at Tural's head.
"Stop talking like a beggar and worry about your own path. Don't you know what happens if an orc runs away without completing their coming-of-age ceremony?"
"......The God of War will take my breath away."
For an orc, the coming-of-age ceremony was a sacred ritual to be reborn as a true warrior. For me, it was a stage for a fate that would turn me into a corpse, but Tural was different.
"Exactly. You, you bastard, you're so strong that even your tribe says the God of War has descended upon you. Huh? If a guy like that throws away all his honor and falls into the abyss because of a guy like me, do you think I'd be happy and say, 'Oh, please, throw it all away!'?"
"If it is for a brother."
"......Damn, you really sound like you'd do it, so I don't even know what to say."
I wondered if I'd end up begging for my life once death was right in front of me. Shouldn't I prioritize my own survival over Tural's honor or whatever?
"Hey. I'm asking you seriously: can you really do that for me?"
"If my brother wishes it, I would tear Forneus's head off this very instant."
"......Let's put that on hold for now. Next question. Why on earth are you doing all this for me?"
"Ha."
For the first time, Tural laughed at me. I felt a surge of frustration, but Tural was a much stronger being than I was.
"Brother, are you really asking that as a question?"
"I'm curious, that's why."
"...Hmm, it's simple."
Tural tapped his own heart and grinned. "Even though we do not share the same blood, I think of you as my true brother."
"You really seem to have been born into the wrong world."
To have the specs and personality of someone destined to be the Great Chieftain, only to be born in this world and suffer like this... I felt sorry for Tural, but at the same time, I felt sorry for myself.
"Should we try starting an Orc Kingdom or something?"
"......Wouldn't that be difficult?"
"I was just saying. A kingdom? How could I do something so hard? I need to survive first."
In the end, we returned to the Forneus problem. If I couldn't come up with a brilliant plan within these three days, I would become Pahou to Forneus.
"Should I just cut my belly open with a knife?"
"Brother, didn't you already try that in the past and fail?"
"I did. Damn it."
Why was this belly of mine so tough? Even with my strength, the blade wouldn't cut through. It might be hidden by my sagging lower abdomen, but there was a very faint scar on my belly. It was my own doing, but unfortunately, I didn't have the strength to slice my own stomach open. But what if it were the strongest man in our tribe?
"Tural, by any chance—"
"If you are going to ask me to cut your belly, don't. I cannot do anything that would harm my brother."
If there was any possibility, it would be for Tural or the Chieftain to cut my belly with all their might, but both of them adamantly refused to touch my stomach. I was about to lose my head trying to spare my belly, but neither of them would give up.
"Hey. Don't worry too much. Who do you think I am, huh?"
"Pahou Kumchuku."
"No, not the name! I'm just saying! Huh? I've only lived for three years, am I supposed to die to some crazy bitch like that? No way I'm dying!"
"Then do you have a method?"
At Tural's question, I tapped my temple.
"I'll earn enough military merit so that Forneus can't kill me easily."
"Military merit... Brother, you don't mean to volunteer for the Great Interception, do you? That's impossible!"
Tural was shocked and worried for me, but that was the only means I had left.
"Even if it's impossible, I have to do it. I'm not just playing house against adventurers; I'm going to earn merit in a real battle against humanity, and use that merit to buy my life."
If I were a war hero who led the battle to victory, even Forneus wouldn't kill me just because my physique was gross. Fortunately, the Chieftain had already accepted my proposal.
"I'm going out tomorrow to intercept the humans' invasion. Tural."
"Brother......"
Tural was worried about me; he jumped to his feet and shouted, "Then I shall go to the battlefield with you! How could I survive alone and complete my coming-of-age ceremony while leaving you behind!"
"Hey. If you go around rampaging, I won't be able to earn any merit, you idiot."
"B-but, at least I could help..."
"Did you forget what happened when that group of stupid goblins came in last time? While I was slicing up three, you were slicing up about ten! If that happens tomorrow, who do you think everyone will pay attention to?"
Tural didn't argue anymore. In the quiet forest where mountain birds chirped, we finished eating the boar, cleaned up our tracks, and returned to the dungeon.
"Brother."
"What."
"No matter what happens to you, I will be on your side."
"I appreciate the sentiment."
Tural looked like he had more to say, but I couldn't hear any more of it.
"Where have you two been at this late hour? Ohoho!"
The bitch blocked my path.
The deepest part of the dungeon, Forneus's quarters. Tural and I were forced to our knees in front of Forneus, our hands bound. Forneus, lying seductively on the bed, was straddling the thighs of the Chieftain—who had been stripped naked—with her legs crossed. The dignified Chieftain we knew was nothing more than a male prostitute in front of us.
"What is this?"
Forneus spun the boar meat we had roasted around in her hand. Meat juices and grease splattered everywhere, but Forneus didn't care in the slightest.
"That is called barbecue—"
"Shut up, pig. Don't oink at me. I didn't ask you."
"......."
As soon as I spoke, Forneus leaned her ear toward the Chieftain. The Chieftain hesitated, but then stuck out his tongue and licked Forneus's ear. It was as if he were licking away dirt. I'm sorry, brother. The Chieftain was apologizing to me with his eyes.
I felt a slight surge of resentment that the Chieftain, of all people, wouldn't take my side, but as the one responsible for our tribe, he had no choice but to grovel before Forneus. If the Chieftain fell out of favor, the entire tribe would fall out of favor, and we could all be slaughtered or kicked out of the dungeon.
"Right. So, shall that handsome orc speak?"
"......This is called barbecue. It is a dish made by skewering pieces of boar meat onto a sharpened goblin bone and roasting it directly over firewood."
"Is that so? Hmm."
Forneus took a large bite of the boar meat, which still had bite marks on it.
"Cook-cook."
Does Forneus know? That those bite marks are mine, and that I lost my appetite the moment I thought of her while eating? It was hilarious to see her gnawing on it and sucking up the juices, completely unaware.
"What are you laughing about?"
Slap!
Forneus struck the Chieftain's cheek. The Chieftain bowed his head to Forneus with a reddened face, and my smile stiffened.
"A subordinate's responsibility should naturally be taken by the one above, right?"
"......Your words are absolute."
The Chieftain calmly defended Forneus. Forneus, having spat out the boar meat she was eating, pointed the charred goblin bone at us and sneered.
"To think you'd dare eat such delicious food among yourselves without even telling the master of the dungeon. How insolent. I should kill you right now."
"Lady Forneus...!"
The Chieftain rose from his seat, blocked our path, and knelt. Forneus had been emitting killing intent toward the Chieftain for not moving according to her orders, but she paused when she saw him kneel on his own.
"These are still young ones who haven't even completed their coming-of-age ceremony! I beg you, please forgive these thoughtless warriors with an magnanimity as wide as your bosom!"
"H-hmmm. Right. I do have quite a wide magnanimity, don't I?"
Forneus tilted her head back, emphasizing her chest. Her breasts were sagging so low and were so large I thought she had three heads. I almost let out a scoff, but I wasn't crazy enough to provoke her while the Chieftain was bowing his head like that.
"......."
I kept my head bowed and kept my mouth shut. Tural, catching on, lowered his head and apologized to Forneus.
"We have committed a sin worthy of death. However, as we could not offer something shabby to the master of the dungeon, we were in the middle of researching how to offer it to you in the most exquisite state."
"Oh? So you're saying this isn't it."
Forneus grinned, tearing off the meat attached to the goblin bone like a rib. It seemed she had lost her mind after eating cooked barbecue instead of the raw, unseasoned, and smelly food she usually ate, but she didn't even cast a glance at me—whom she considered filthy—treating me as if I didn't exist.
"Is that so? Fufufu, then you bring me something even more delicious than this before your coming-of-age ceremony. If you fail to do so, the pig next to you will be thrown out of the dungeon that very day to become food for the goblins."
Damn it.
"Right. To be tastier than wild boar, you'd need good ingredients, wouldn't you? How about that orc pig next to you? Cackle cackle! I could catch him for you!"
As expected, Forneus hadn't forgotten. I bit my lip in frustration, but I couldn't get angry when Tural was clenching his fists until they trembled.
"You kids are fun, aren't you? Fufu, come here. Depending on how well you perform today, I might change the disposition of those things?"
"......Thank you."
We were released thanks to the Chieftain's sacrifice. Tural looked like he was ready to grab his weapon and mince Forneus at any moment, and I had to calm him down.
"Hey. I have to go intercept the Kingdom's army tomorrow. I'll write down the recipe for you, so just practice."
"......I am sorry, brother."
Tural was furious, but there was nothing he could do. I had no strength to do anything else but write down the recipe for crispy-on-the-outside, juicy-on-the-inside goblin roast and hand it to Tural. I only had one strength left.
'Those Kingdom army bastards coming into the dungeon tomorrow are dead.'
It was a misplaced target, but I decided to vent this pent-up frustration on the human bastards entering the dungeon.