The Siege of the Pig Orc
Kkeureureuk. Jokamel Filters, the only 4-Star monster in Gremory's dungeon, Gremory's adjutant, her mount, and the only creature that had ever been able to ravish her, was currently boiling with rage directed at the pig orc. It was unpleasant enough that his avatar had been humiliated, having its thighs rubbed and teased, but then that avatar had been tossed to a tentacle monster, forcing Gremory to spread her legs for the real thing. For a male, it was an unforgivable humiliation that a tentacle monster had defiled the very place he alone had always penetrated—the place he had forcibly stretched out himself. Should he vent his anger on Gremory? Yes. But that was a matter to be settled in bed, not a reason to commit treason. Should he vent his anger on the tentacle monster? Yes. But the tentacle monster was stronger than him. It was a case of the new stone pushing out the old, and Jokamel needed to become stronger than that tentacle monster. And now, the final place to unleash his fury was the mastermind behind this entire disaster: the pig orc.
In truth, the ultimate culprit was Gremory, and Halpas, who had incited the invasion through a deal with her. If Halpas hadn't tried to use Gremory as a proxy to devour Andras, and if Gremory hadn't been so pickled by the tentacle monster's techniques that she cheated, this mess never would have happened. So, let's just kill the pig orc. Jokamel wanted to concentrate all his rage on an enemy, not a superior, and if he was going to kill him, he would make him taste the full extent of the loss he himself had suffered.
A surprise attack. Gremory had organized a special squad centered around Jokamel, and they were to become a detachment to raid the enemy's dungeon the moment the main enemy force crossed the portal and reached the area just before the inner sanctum. Jokamel had accepted immediately. He was filled with the intent to trample on what belonged to another while simultaneously taking the pig orc's subordinates for himself. In particular, that high elf's body smelled of orc, but it also smelled of purity. For some reason, the orc hadn't eaten the high elf yet, and Jokamel was obsessed with the thought of taking her first time. If he ended up inside Gremory's dungeon? Then he would just have to vent his frustration on another woman. Jokamel was puffed up with the dream of receiving the high elf as a reward for conquering the enemy dungeon.
Clop, clop. He galloped through the empty portal. Behind Jokamel, an elite goblin unit followed. Those creatures, specialized in destruction and molestation, would ravage the enemy lines indiscriminately.
Kwoooooong!! Jokamel leaped through the portal. It was much shabbier than the dungeon he resided in, but the path was reasonably well-paved. Jokamel went straight ahead with all his might, like a sports car on the Autobahn. Clop, clop! Beyond the path he had crossed through the avatar Gremory had created, there was a "corner turning to the right." Jokamel sneered at the enemy's structural design and took the curve while maintaining maximum speed. And not long after, he saw a bright light. Jokamel sensed that it was the path leading to the opponent's inner sanctum and kicked his legs to advance.
Kwoooooong! Unless there was a subordinate stronger than the orc, there was no one to stop him now that the main force had crossed over to Gremory's dungeon. Caught by the hooves racing at full speed—
"Ah, fuck."
Jokamel stopped in his tracks with all the strength he had once used to suckle at Gremory's breasts. He suppressed the inertia and slammed on the brakes, digging his hooves into the ground. The scent of the wind flowing in from the outside reached the tip of his nostrils. Kiki-gik! Four long lines appeared on the hard dirt path as Jokamel barely stopped right before a hole. What he had thought was an inner sanctum was actually a path leading outside, and it was a cliff dropping into a river with a strong current.
'Did he actually anticipate this?'
Jokamel's heart sank. Had the orc really anticipated that his own dungeon would be attacked and dug a trap like this? To make them all fall into the river and die if they just charged in blindly? No. According to Gremory, the portal would unconditionally appear in the furthest passage connected to the inner sanctum. Therefore, considering the enemy's tendencies and tactics, he must have blocked the path to the inner sanctum.
'I can just break through a dirt wall.'
Even if they had done construction in a day, it wouldn't be that thick. Jokamel turned his body to ravage the enemy lines. And at that moment, the goblins following behind were running at full speed.
"Y-you idiots! Stop! This is a cliff—"
"Kieeeek!"
Puh-buh-buk! The goblins slammed their bodies into Jokamel's with full force. He could have easily withstood one or two, but with nearly ten of them—the entire squad—body-checking him at full speed, Jokamel lost his footing.
"You bastards! I told you this is a cliff!"
"We know, you horny bastard!"
And with the goblin captain's attack slamming into his side, Jokamel's foot, which he had barely managed to plant at the edge of the cliff, slipped.
"What—"
They were the goblins who had followed him from Gremory's dungeon. Why? How? Just before sliding toward the bottom, Jokamel used his wits to hook his hooves onto the edge of the cliff.
"Y-you wretches! What have you done!"
"This is what we call insubordination, kruk."
The goblin smiled sinisterly, holding a poison-tipped dagger in a reverse grip. "We'll take all the credit for looting this empty house. Keuk, we'll tell them you died heroically fighting the dungeon's powerful orc warrior."
"You dare, a mere goblin—!!"
"Keuk, that's why you should have watched your back."
The goblin thrust the dagger toward Jokamel's ankle tendon. "You see, I haven't liked you since you forcibly stretched out our Master. Keuk."
"Wh...at...?"
The goblin captain's crouching posture was clearly visible. Beneath the thin cloth, the goblin captain's crotch was as small as a human finger.
"Did you forget that we were kicked out of the Master's bedroom after you arrived?! Keuk, I've been waiting for this day!"
Puk! Puk-puk-puk!
The captain attacked Jokamel, stabbing with the dagger in a reverse grip. But the crude dagger could not pierce Jokamel's hide. Regardless of the tactical advantage, there was an insurmountable difference in level between them.
"......If you were born small, you should have lived small."
"You turned our Master into a rag! Someone who used to giggle just by having us!"
"That's because the Master was that kind of bitch from the start!! You rat-dicked bastards!"
With Jokamel hanging from the cliff and the goblins trying to dunk him into the river, the internal strife of the detachment began.
* * *
"Surely no one would fall for a trap like that."
"Papa, this isn't the time to be analyzing that. Please come over here quickly."
Meari scolded me and cast a recovery spell. My body was covered in wounds, and I had finally managed to throw myself into the allied defensive line and join them. Meari was on the verge of tears as she healed my wounds.
"If you're a dungeon lord, please just stay still in the back like Mom Eila. Stop getting hurt in the front."
"You're not subtly dissing Eila for only fighting with her mouth from the back, are you?"
"That's not what I meant!"
"You don't get jokes. Hehe, it's fine. I can still move. I know my body best."
I knew it, so I ran. The hammer that was supposed to smash the enemy forces against the anvil no longer had the strength to swing, so I hid inside the defensive line. Around me, harpies loaded with baggage were trembling in fear that their eggs might break.
"As soon as I'm healed, I'm going back to fight."
"Father, please rest a little longer."
Arthur, who was firing arrows, restrained me. I was the one who had sustained more wounds than the ghouls acting as shield-bearers in the defensive line. Conversely, that meant my dungeon's subordinates didn't have any serious injuries.
"Hmm... will you be okay?"
"Of course. We've almost secured the victory now. ...Thanks to Mother Ryun."
Pabapak. A literal rain of arrows was falling from the ceiling. As my wounds deepened, the number of Ryun's arrows only increased, and the gap I left by retreating to the rear was filled by Lime and the slime dragons.
Kwaddeuk! The slime dragons crushed the goblins and rolled up the gargoyles like kimbap, crushing them. Occasionally, when a three-humped camel monster appeared, Ryun and Lime joined forces to take it down. With me stirring things up once and the four who jumped down from the ceiling starting to run wild, the tide of battle gradually began to tilt in our favor.
"Master, give the order for an all-out attack!"
Eila, who was commanding from the rear, asked for my permission. But I had no intention of pushing all my forces forward just yet.
"Wait. The enemy's main force isn't here yet."
"Isn't this the main force?!"
"That guy isn't here, that guy."
Gremory's mount that walked on all fours. That guy was a monster that looked strong just by looking at it. It probably had power similar to, or slightly weaker than, Gremory. Just as I had appeared by breaking through the wall, that guy could also break through the wall and pop out from the side during the advance. The reason I had formed a defensive line and come out to the wide road was because of that one guy. So, I had to quickly identify the location of the danger factor. I shouted toward Gremory's avatar, who was commanding from the middle of the enemy forces.
"Hey, Gremory! You've got guests for a housewarming, but your hospitality is a total mess!"
"Who's having a housewarming! You're invading!"
"I brought a housewarming gift, but you don't seem to have any intention of receiving it."
I had even carefully wrapped it in my pocket for once, but the host was adamantly refusing. Having finished my recovery, I pushed Harsus aside and stepped forward. Directly in front of me, Gremory's avatar was standing on the hump of the camel monster.
"Gremory, I've come to make a deal!"
"A deal? What kind of deal?"
"A real estate deal. You sell your dungeon, and I'll pay for it with this."
I untied the string I had tightly knotted inside my robe and pulled out a pouch. The pouch, thrown in a parabola with a jingling sound, landed perfectly between Gremory's cleavage.
"What is this...? Ugh."
Gremory distorted her face at the red, squishy object inside the leather pouch.
"Ah, that is called love gel. It's good to have when sharing love—"
"Don't talk bullshit! It's dead slime fluid! I've never even heard of love gel!"
"That's why I brought it. So you can try using it yourself. Of course, the partner is me."
Though, naturally, I intended to face the real body this time, not the avatar. I gripped the sword, which had now become an iron club, and held it up toward the front. I could hear Gremory gulping from here.
"Now you'll be swallowing something other than spit, hehe."
"This pig bastard, really!!"
Gremory screamed and ordered her soldiers to charge. But those soldiers were all weaklings with loose screws, hardly enough to be called a main force, and certainly not enough to kill me.
"Hehe, it'll be tough unless the real body comes out directly, right? Or call your ace. I've been curious for a while. Whether camels can be roasted and eaten or not."
"Do you only have thoughts of eating in that brain of yours?"
"Of course. Eat the camel, eat the dungeon, and eat you too. Hehehe."
Gremory's avatar frowned with a hollow expression. It was the face of someone who had stepped in shit, and in fact, she had.
"Hehe. It might have been different in another dungeon, but it's your own undoing that you opened the portal to Andras's dungeon."
"Hmph, I haven't lost yet. ...I haven't lost yet!"
Gremory screamed and pointed her finger at me. "Your dungeon will be scorched earth! Every last bit of it will be trampled and destroyed by hooves!"
"If you say so."
I snorted and mocked Gremory. "But if I take your house, does that tentacle monster become mine too? Hehe, that's great. My dungeon is just too peaceful, you see. Just wait in the bedroom there. I'll poke you thoroughly with this."
I held my sword up to Gremory once again.
* * *
Bang!
Gremory hit the wall with her fist. Her avatar was working hard to command the troops, but it wasn't enough to stop the orc's rampage.
"Hehe, fine. I admit it. Your fighting is amazing."
The main force deployed in the front lines was delayed by grappling with the ghouls, and the subordinates waiting in the rear were wiped out by the orcs and elves. Troops still remained, but at this rate, defeat was looming before her eyes.
"Fine.... Let's see who wins...!"
Gremory, the real body, staggered down the corridor, clutching a handful of warm eggs she had just laid. And at the end of it was the tentacle monster's room.
"Wake up, Skatology!"
The tentacle monster's eyes flashed. Gremory threw the eggs she was holding into the air and shouted.
"Merge!"
As the tentacle monster let out a roar, a pink light burst forth from the inner sanctum.