The Monster in the Mirror
Jinwook turns to look at Minhee. His expression is complex—a mix of relief, disbelief, and the lingering, unshakable shadow of the fear and anxiety that had gripped him just moments ago.
Amidst it all, Minhee lets out a quiet sigh. She wears a bitter smile for a fleeting second, then marches onto the stage with her head held high. Yoo Miyeon speaks up, her voice tinged with regret.
But in this society, that razor-thin margin is exactly what decides everything. At Yoo Miyeon’s calm pronouncement, Minhee nods quietly.
"Thank you for supporting me all this time."
A clean, graceful acceptance. To hear her voice, one might think she wasn't the least bit shaken by the result. But the camera director doesn't miss the moisture welling up in the corners of her eyes. Thanks to that, the chat room is flooded with tears.
The camera director then pans to Hyeseong and Sunwoo. Coming from the same hometown, they are beloved by the public for their family-like bond—a closeness so strong it's hard to believe they aren't blood-related. Perhaps that’s why Hyeseong is already sniffling and wiping away tears, while Sunwoo wears a bitter, hollow smile.
"I will continue to support you," Yoo Miyeon says in a gentle voice. "Don't dwell too much on the current situation. There are still so many opportunities left for you, Minhee. I’m almost jealous of that."
"...Yes! Thank you!"
"So stop crying. You acted so well, why are you crying?"
"Ah, I wasn't crying!"
It was obvious to everyone that she *was* crying, but let’s just pretend she wasn't.
With this, Jinwook is the only one left to be judged. He ranks 4th—he’s barely managed to avoid elimination. Even so, Jinwook doesn't seem to have his emotions under control. His reddened earlobes, bloodshot eyes, and the way his chest heaves with every breath reveal his inner turmoil.
Seong Junil calls out to him quietly.
"Seo Jinwook."
"..."
"Come up to the stage."
Jinwook walks up slowly. Watching him, Seong Junil chuckles.
"Why were you so scared?"
"...Because I want to live."
"Because you want to win?"
"Not exactly..." Jinwook hesitates before speaking, his expression one of pure annoyance at how pathetic he feels for even saying it. "Everyone thought I would lose. That I’d be eliminated quickly. So... I didn't want to be eliminated even more. I was afraid I’d start thinking that way about myself, too."
"...Oh, my." Seong Junil smiles faintly, a look of understanding. "But I don't think you need to worry about that. You survived, Jinwook."
"..."
"I enjoyed watching your acting the entire time. You are a good actor. So... huh?"
Seong Junil stops mid-sentence, looking bewildered. He couldn't help it; a sight he never imagined was unfolding right before his eyes. As he stands there, mouth agape, unable to find the words, a single line of chat captures the confusion.
After the shoot, the atmosphere among the cast wasn't as gloomy as expected. Given that three people had been eliminated, one could even call it bright. It was all thanks to the fact that the three who were cut didn't seem particularly depressed.
"Well, I guess this is as far as I go." Jaewon shrugs. Sunwoo finds Jaewon’s attitude fascinating. If it were him, he wouldn't be able to stay this composed... how could he show not even a hint of regret?
'A mentality I should learn from.'
Come to think of it, Jaewon had always been like this. He never dwelled on the results before him and always gave his best in the given situation. Perhaps, to Jaewon, even this opportunity was just one part of a process. In a way, he was living fully in the present, and in another, he was looking the furthest ahead.
"It's a shame," Sunwoo sighs. "I didn't think three people would be eliminated at once."
"Tell me about it!" Hyungbin nods, his voice feigned brightness. "Seriously, what is going to happen in the next episode? Are we going to kill each other? Is that why three people are dying?"
"...Honestly, it's hard to gauge."
"Hey, Seo Jinwook. Is it you? Are you the one killing me?"
"..."
"Why aren't you answering? Are you still crying?"
"I told you, I wasn't crying then!" Jinwook shouts, his face twisting into a scowl. Hyungbin giggles and pats Jinwook on the shoulder.
"A man can cry. Doesn't that just mean you were sincere?"
"...I said, I didn't cry."
"I saw tears."
"Ah—!"
In the end, Jinwook screams in frustration and runs off. Hyungbin chases after him, trying to soothe him, but Jinwook shows no signs of calming down. Watching them, Minhee lets out a dry laugh.
"I never thought I'd live to see Seo Jinwook bawling his eyes out."
"...Same here." Sunwoo nods with a bitter smile. When the judging ended and he saw those shoulders heaving, he had been so shocked. But that wasn't the only shocking thing. Sunwoo turns to Minhee with a mischievous smile.
"I didn't think I'd see you crying, either, Sunbae."
"...W-what are you talking about! I didn't cry!"
"The camera caught it. You crying. The comments are already going crazy."
"The comments...?"
"Haven't you checked yet?"
"Wait a second."
Minhee pulls out her phone with a pale face. Soon, her hands begin to tremble.
There wasn't anything mocking her in the comments. But what caught Minhee's eye was her own face in the screenshots: lips pressed tight, cheeks trembling, and eyes that looked like they would spill over with tears despite her best efforts to hold them back...
"...What do I do, I'm so embarrassed."
"At least you're admitting it now."
"How can I not when they're shoving the photos in my face!"
Minhee ruffles her hair and mutters with a haggard expression, "I'll never be able to get married now."
"...Eh, it doesn't look like a humiliation shot to me."
"What are you saying! I look like a goldfish!"
Is it even possible for a goldfish to be this pretty? Sunwoo wonders, but he doesn't bother to argue. Minhee is already spiraling, fixated on the keyword 'my goldfish-like photo.'
'...No, in reality, she’s probably not like this just because of some photo.'
Sunwoo’s gaze sinks. Minhee had been eliminated today, too. It was a razor-thin margin, but perhaps that’s why it’s even more frustrating. It’s easy to think, *if I had done just a little bit more, I might have survived.* It wouldn't be strange if her heart were boiling with heat, needing to vent those emotions somehow.
As he watches her with that thought in mind—
"What is it, you?"
"...? What is what?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"What kind of look am I giving you?"
"The look that says you don't know what to do because you pity me."
"...Looking at you now, I think you do look a bit like a goldfish."
"Hey!"
"I'm joking, I'm joking."
Sunwoo waves his hands frantically as Minhee clenches her fist. He then changes the subject as naturally as possible.
"So, what’s the public reaction? I’m sure everyone acknowledges your acting, Sunbae."
"...I don't know about that, but there was a lot of praise for you. Your final cut seems to have been quite impressive."
"Ahem..."
He feels a tickle of embarrassment. As Sunwoo scratches his cheek, Minhee scrolls down and speaks again.
"It's amazing. When I first saw you, I never imagined you would grow this fast."
"I was just lucky."
"When someone is that lucky, we usually call it exceptional talent."
"...But for me to say I have talent, I’ve already seen Doyoung-hyung."
"Hmm. Is that why you always act so timid?"
Timid? He doesn't think he’s been *that* cowering. As Sunwoo grumbles inwardly, Minhee continues.
"You have a tendency to underestimate your acting."
"Isn't it more that I'm not overestimating it?"
"No, it's underestimating. You think people are coddling you because you’re acting well for your experience? No, absolutely not. If that were the case, you wouldn't have even taken first place! You’re just acting well! Why are you the only one who doesn't know that? Why!"
Minhee fires off the words like a machine gun. Sunwoo looks at her, bewildered. Had he really been acting so frustratingly that Minhee had to explode like this?
"...A-alright, I get it."
"No, don't just say you get it. Because you don't. You didn't know, you don't know, and you won't know. I'm just saying this because I'm frustrated."
Minhee sighs. He’s a guy who is unnecessarily harsh on himself. If he suddenly became overflowing with confidence just from hearing this, that would be even stranger.
'If I were him, I'd live without knowing what fear is.'
Minhee swallows her sigh. Then, she glares at Sunwoo with eyes blazing. Maybe it would be easier to just let it go since he’s just a junior. It might be the right answer to just think, *he’s just living the way he was born*, and stop caring whether he has spirit or not. But she is Sunwoo’s senior.
"Repeat after me."
"...Yes?"
"Repeat after me, in a loud voice!"
"Y-yes, yes!"
A senior has a duty to guide their junior down the right path.
"I am amazing!"
"I, I am... amazing?"
"Again! With confidence!"
"I am amazing!"
"I do not underestimate myself!"
"I do not underestimate myself!"
"I am an acting monster!"
"I am an acting... mon, mon..."
"Properly!"
"I am an acting... monster!"
"Once more! With power!"
"I am an acting monster——!"
Meanwhile,
"Huff, huff... Jinwook-ssi, Jinwook-ah! Stop! I'm sorry! But you don't need to be that embarrassed, you know? Crying isn't a flaw!"
"...I told you, I didn't cry!"
Jinwook still doesn't seem to have cooled off.