Chapter 59
Chapter 59
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 59
Chapter Title: I'm Apparently a Genius Just for Acting Once
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"...Isn't Seonwoo acting a bit off lately?"
A short while after the script reading wrapped up, everyone started voicing their concerns toward Seonwoo.
It wasn't just idle talk.
No matter how you sliced it, the Seonwoo they knew was someone who shone brightly.
He wasn't the type to be overly bubbly or outgoing, but whenever he chatted with someone, his eyes always sparkled.
But lately, Seonwoo...
"His eyes are completely dead."
"Is it because of the acting?"
"Well, Kim Seonwoo does have that kind of character... But what's this? Is he doing method acting? I don't remember him being a method type."
"He gets immersed, sure, but it's not method. He doesn't bring the acting into his daily life."
Method acting.
A style where the line between everyday life and performance vanishes, immersing oneself by living as the character even off-stage.
Not just mimicking the exterior, but delving into the interior to become the person.
There was definitely a method-like element to Seonwoo's acting.
The moment he started, he'd exude an aura like he'd instantly become the character. The immersion was so deep it felt like he'd forgotten who he even was.
But that was only during performances.
There had always been a clear boundary between his daily life and acting...
"This character is based on himself, right? Maybe that's why it's easier to get sucked in."
That was Hyeseong's guess.
But Minhee frowned and shook her head.
"But... Seonwoo's character feels too gloomy to be based on him, doesn't it? The suicide attempt and all—honestly, it's far from the Seonwoo we've always known."
"It's not like he made a character exactly like us. Maybe he created one that suits him well? If this character was made from us as is... then Mr. Lee Yeonwoo is a psychopath?"
"...Yeah, that's true."
Minhee nodded in agreement.
For a brief moment, a "what if?" crossed her mind... but she shook it off. No need to entertain such thoughts carelessly.
Anyway, the change in Seonwoo was noticeable enough that even the other participants were whispering about it.
It was like the spark in him had just died out.
And amid all that, episode 3 of [I Am an Actor] aired.
The episode focused on their performances themed around joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
People's attention... felt much more spread out compared to last time.
Largely because the controversy over Seonwoo's career had died down. Malice always gathers faster than goodwill, after all.
With no more prey to tear into, interest in the show had actually dipped a bit from before.
But that didn't mean people had completely lost interest in Seonwoo.
💬 Comments — ReallyWannaDie So that face, that acting skill, that height, and Seoul National University? Really wanna die... God is playing favorites too much. — TwoRiceBowls People aren't talking about his acting because of the university thing, but Seonwoo's skills are legit good, right? Top-tier among 20-something male actors. ↳ Reply — NoWayDude: No way ↳ Reply What do you mean no way, his acting is insanely good ↳ Reply — NoWayDude: With guys like Sung Dowon dominating, you can't just throw around "top-tier" like that ↳ Reply ...Those are a whole other league — EyesOnYou Wow, unnie Minhee is too pretty lol fr — Meteor Hyeseong oppa is super cute too — Lol No, he's not oppa, he's uncle, right? ⭐ Top Comment — FaceFirst Handsome guys are either oppa or uncle — Anon3 I stan — YeonwooFan Who do you guys think will win this show? I'm picking Lee Yeonwoo — Anon2 Isn't it just Seonwoo? Buzz says he's guaranteed first. Production will push him hard. ↳ Reply — Anon5: Nah, they might just milk the hype and drop him. You know how broadcasters operate? ↳ Reply — QuokkaKim: Acting academy instructor here. Pure skill? Jeong Hyeseong dominates hard. No comparison. ↳ Reply — TookABreak: That good? ↳ Reply — SungStanDay1: Seo Jinwook looked solid too. What about him? ↳ Reply — QuokkaKim: He's... too theatrical. Trying to dial it back, but if he doesn't adapt fast, it'll be tough. ↳ Reply — Anon2: What about Seonwoo? ↳ Reply — QuokkaKim: Skills way exceed his experience, I'll give him that. Genius? Honestly, not quite. Fast learner doesn't mean peak talent. — CodingSlaveShakingCarrot Whatever, let's vote first <Who do you think will win?> 1st. Kim Seonwoo 21.5% 2nd. Jeong Hyeseong 14.3% 3rd. Na Minhee 10.1% 4th. Lee Yeonwoo 8.9% ... 20,173 votes — TwoRiceBowls Thought Seonwoo would dominate, but surprising — EyesOnYou Why so few votes for Minhee?? Visuals are insane ↳ Reply — Anon3: Acting isn't about visuals ↳ Reply — QuokkaKim: Yeah, if visuals, Lee Yeonwoo holds up too — Dasulgi Seonwoo's style is kinda fun too lol — Meteor Hyeseong oppa only this much? ↳ Reply — Lol: Not oppa, uncle lol ↳ Reply Where's such a cute uncle? — ActingFanatic Hyeseong held his own. Basically first if you exclude Seonwoo ↳ Reply — Anon5: Lol Kim Seonwoo's fame exploded. But acting's solid, win seems locked — GoguFlavorRevived Without the Seoul U reveal, what has he proven? How do we know if he has real experience or not? Can't prove no experience. Everyone shuts up after one degree reveal lol ↳ Reply — MindYourOwn: Lol you're the failed aspiring actor, right? Obvious ↳ Reply — GoguFlavorRevived: ?? What? Why would I be an aspiring actor ↳ Reply — MindYourOwn: Prove you're not ↳ Reply — GoguFlavorRevived: Ffs I'm not, how do I prove if you won't believe ↳ Reply — MindYourOwn: Exactly my point. How does Seonwoo prove no experience? ↳ Reply — GoguFlavorRevived: That's not the same! ↳ Reply — MindYourOwn: Can't reason with you. Gold-digger gtfo The SNS was buzzing in all sorts of ways.
Before, Seonwoo's career fabrication scandal dominated everything, but now interest was evenly spread across everyone.
Seonwoo still got comments, but the mocking ones had largely vanished.
Of course, not entirely.
But Seonwoo decided not to care.
Others were handling the clapbacks anyway... and those types would hate him even if he donated or volunteered.
Still, it was draining. As he let out a long sigh...
"You okay? You look tired."
"Ah, Hyungbin hyung."
Hyungbin grinned and pulled out the chair next to Seonwoo, sitting down.
They'd dropped to casual speech a few days ago.
It wouldn't have been weird if they'd done it sooner, but neither was the type to bring it up first.
Hyeseong whining nearby—"When are you two dropping formalities? Do it now!"—had finally made it happen.
"You check comments a lot. I'm too scared to look."
"It's not like I check on purpose... They just pull me in. Wondering what people are saying about me."
"Really? Thought you didn't care about others' gazes."
"Sometimes... I worry if I'm on the right path."
"How many people in this world are on the 'right' path anyway? We all stumble and wander."
Hyungbin snapped his fingers.
"I'm just focusing on acting now. How to do it better—that's it."
"You seem to be doing great. Your acting felt way scarier than when we first met."
"Hearing that from you feels weird... but thanks. So, how about you?"
"Me?"
"Yeah. You seem drained lately. Everything okay?"
Seonwoo's state lately was genuinely worrisome.
All the life drained out of him.
Looking so brittle, like he'd crumble at a touch... impossible not to worry.
But Seonwoo tilted his head.
"...I seem drained?"
"Yeah. Don't I?"
"Didn't think I was that different from usual..."
Seonwoo stared blankly into space, as if zoning out.
Then he startled and turned to Hyungbin.
"Ah, sorry. What were we talking about?"
"...You sure you're okay?"
"Yes. I'm totally fine."
He didn't look fine...
But pushing when he said he was would be rude. Hyungbin nodded and patted his back.
"Alright, tell me if something's up."
"Yeah. Oh, hyung. Got something I wanna ask."
"What?"
"How was life as a salaryman...?"
"Hm. Tough question."
Hyungbin chuckled.
"Rewarding at times, exciting too... but mostly exhausting. Tedious, frustrating, depressing."
"...How'd you endure?"
"Endure? More like numb to it. Eventually, it all feels normal."
"Scary."
"It is. Why this suddenly?"
"Wondering what my life would be like without acting."
"Hm, yeah."
Hyungbin nodded, rolling his eyes as if pondering, then laughed dryly and shook his head.
"Can't picture it. A kid living only for acting—what would he do without it?"
"Right."
Seonwoo smiled faintly.
"Can't imagine it myself."
It was a lie.
Lately, he was living and feeling that Seonwoo without acting every day.
The real Kim Seonwoo.
When he first burst Kim Seonwoo's color orb, what he felt... was familiarity.
The crushing lethargy, boredom toward everything... just inertia, living because alive, breathing because breathing.
All of it felt eerily familiar.
Kim Seonwoo's gray emotion... was the stifling frustration Seonwoo always felt before acting.
Only then did he realize.
How rotten his mind had been before acting.
If time had just passed like that...
'Maybe I'd have ended up like Kim Seonwoo.'
Just a maybe, of course.
Even without acting, if he'd found something to fill his heart, he might be living much the same now.
But one thing certain... acting had saved him without him knowing.
'I really wasn't taking care of myself.'
As Hyungbin said, he'd grown numb.
To unhappiness, dissatisfaction, discomfort, emptiness, lack.
And in that moment... his dislike for 'Kim Seonwoo' vanished.
He still didn't want that empty life... but pity, maybe.
Because he'd neglected himself so much.
Just left him to rot.
—You hate Kim Seonwoo, right?
That's why.
Park Myeongjin's words stung with shame now.
'...Now I could answer differently.'
But too late.
Time for words had passed.
Now, answer with acting.
He doesn't hate Kim Seonwoo.
Doesn't want to hate him.
That was Seonwoo's top priority now.
Prepare the perfect response for Park Myeongjin by filming day.
To do that, he had to burst color orbs constantly.
During practice, and even in daily life.
Each burst brought body and mind closer to Kim Seonwoo.
Of course, mentally taxing.
Wearing that depressed, lethargic emotion daily wasn't easy.
Like his real spirit was withering too.
That must be why.
On filming day.
Park Myeongjin PD and the crew, seeing Seonwoo after so long... recoiled in shock.
'...What?'
'Same guy?'
'Something happen...?'
The Seonwoo in memory sparkled more... but this young man before them had no shine at all.
'...Why so dull?'
Looked like his heart was diseased...
Such a man with dead eyes stood there.