King of the Unemployed

My housemates had increased again. The fact that both of them weren't human was depressing. And to top it off, neither had any ID—they were straight-up illegal immigrants.... Even if I pretended they weren't monsters, housing two illegals in my home felt like it could lead to some serious trouble.

I couldn't help but think that turning them into girls with my punches had saddled me with way too much responsibility....

"Lisa."

"Yes?"

"From now on, your name is Lisa. Your family name is Yeo, and your given name is Lisa."

I gave her a name first. Kept it simple and easy to remember, just like before.

"Lady Mayuri, your naming sense is a bit... unique," the monster pointed out.

Shut up. I knew my naming skills sucked.

"Oh...?"

I widened my eyes at the word "reward." Right, there was something like this.

I immediately checked out the reward.

"Hmm... Hard to get a feel just from the text...."

Time to test it out. Ari was conveniently doing nothing—as usual, making her the perfect guinea pig.

Put Ari in the Storage....

The moment I pictured it in my head, Ari vanished from in front of me. But she wasn't gone from the world entirely. I could sense it instinctively: Ari was inside my Storage.

Could I pull her back out? I tried "calling" Ari.

Suddenly, a wave of intense fatigue hit me.

"Ugh...."

It felt just like when I'd summoned her at the shop before—a bit of dizziness, and then Ari reappeared right in front of me.

"Looks like 'calling' them out costs mental energy each time...."

Reminded me of Cthulhu games or TRPGs where you'd burn SAN points to cast spells. Probably something similar. Losing mental strength could be fatal with all the sanity-corrupting monsters out there. If I summoned in front of one, I might end up driven mad myself.

Definitely need to use "call" sparingly.

"But this is pretty convenient."

I could stash my illegal immigrants Ari ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and Lisa in there? Maybe keep them stored most of the time and only call them out when needed? Ari cost a fortune in food daily, and Lisa... well, she was a lot, honestly. For my own peace and quiet, storage during downtime sounded ideal.

"Ari, how was it?"

"...Dark."

Ari looked unusually downcast.

"I hate it there.... Never going back in...."

Damn, what kind of place was Storage to get that reaction? Sigh, it was making my resolve waver....

I gave up on stashing Ari. She'd earned that 80 million, after all—no need to skimp on her food.

Maybe stash Lisa instead? But then...

"Lady Mayuri, you call women 'yeoja,' right? Does that make me, a human woman doing cleaning, a 'cheongsonyeon'?"

Lisa said that while cleaning the house.

...She really needed more Korean lessons. Her unique speech made me think she had a big vocabulary, but nope. Monster origins showing through, I guess.

Still, Lisa was a burden. I didn't get why she was so friendly toward me. It felt too unconditional, kinda creepy....

Burden and creepy aside... she was way too convenient. Doing the dishes for me? And not just any dishes—she did them perfectly. Removed every trace of odor from plastic containers. Even washed the delivery boxes and sorted the recycling herself?? Plus, cleaning and laundry without complaint.

"Hygiene is crucial in cooking. I hate anything unsanitary."

She said. At first, I thought she was some yandere psycho bitch, but watching her more... she seemed kinda decent. Didn't eat like Ari, so food costs were low. Unlike the do-nothing Ari, she learned cleaning tasks quickly when taught. Total good-wife material.

If I were a guy and she were a real human, I'd have married her ages ago. But neither was true. Sorry. I'm a premium cutegirl, after all.

Anyway. My name is Mayuri. 00-born, universe's top cutegirl. 80 million in the bank. House full of a freeloading slacker and a yandere maid who does the dishes. No job, but top 10% NEET life for sure.

And so, I, King of NEETs Mayuri, spent the past week doing absolutely nothing. A self-reward for surviving that horrific anomaly.

I'd earned a brainless week off, right? Aside from Ari occasionally whining for home-cooked meals, it was delivery food all the way. Cleaning? Handed off to Lisa. Not on purpose at first—I was doing it, but she watched, learned, and soon took over completely.

Lounging like that, a thought crept in: Is this really okay to keep doing?

"Guess I do need to get a job...?"

80 million was huge, but not enough for a lifetime of freeloading. And it wasn't just me—Ari and Lisa had no jobs either. How long could three NEETs stretch it? Two years? Three? Five tops.

Eventually, economic activity was inevitable. My fate and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠destiny.

...Right?

But do I have to be the only one working?

Imagining the future felt off. These days, even married couples dual-income, no? Three household members, and only the shortest, youngest-looking, cutest one works? No way.

"Ari, ever thought about getting a job?"

"Nope."

"...Damn, straight to the point."

She usually dawdled, but her response speed shocked me. Was it because I earned the 80 mil? Planning to coast for two years?

Logical, I guess.

"I've been thinking. That 80 mil is your money, right? So we should use it for you."

"?"

"We can't live like this forever. You'll want independence someday. This could build your self-reliance."

"No."

"...Pardon?"

"Don't wanna be independent."

Ari was firm.

...Not like I expected otherwise. Cat university logic explained most of her behavior. Would a cat work? Nah, just receive love, eat, sleep—that's their job.

But we couldn't live like this forever. I planned to return to my original world eventually. This incident drove it home.

Bluntly: this world sucked. You could get dragged into anomalies just sitting still if luck soured. Like getting pulled into the shop during that forum gig.

Monsters and anomalies everywhere—a death trap world. No way to live here forever. Even rich, you'd die young.

So I'd leave someday. Before then, restore Ari or set her up for independence.

Most of all: ...How could I support her my whole life?

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Scarier than any game monster: caring for Ari till I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠died of old age. True horror story. And she wasn't even my kid—just a cutegirl freeloader who showed up demanding care.

"Don't wanna work, don't wanna leave? Wanna live with me forever...?"

"Yeah."

"...Head's spinning. Fine, at least help with my startup. You can do that much, right...?"

"......"

Ari stayed silent, then nodded reluctantly. Good enough.

And.

"Lisa, you'll help me too, right?"

"Of course. I'm dying to know what you'll do, Lady Mayuri. Opening a shop? If it's a restaurant, hire me as chef, please."

"...Not a shop."

Asked one thing, got four answers....

That's what made her burdensome, but consent obtained—positive spin.

"We're all getting jobs with that 80 mil. As self-employed."

My conclusion. Obvious illegals couldn't get normal jobs. Solution: I make the workplace and hire them.

Kya, brilliant. Was I always this kind-hearted? Cutegirl face and heart.

Earn money, build their independence, give work experience. Solve my babyface job issues by pioneering my own gig. And post-escape? Hand the office to Ari. She'd grow, gain skills, want independence by then. Perfect amicable split.

Flawless plan.

"But I heard self-employed 5-year survival rate is around 30%, Lady Mayuri. Isn't that a bad survival strategy?"

"Shh, quiet."

Why did a monster know that? Bingeing TV lately—picked it up there? Scary. Knowledge transferable even to monsters.

"We'll be in that 30%. Massive self-employed success—no worries. Fail? Suicide."

"Great idea. So, what'll you do?"

Obvious. National rule in these genres.

"Opening a fixer agency."