The Virgin Party Before the Demon King's Castle
The sky over the Demon Continent was bright, contrary to everything people said about it.
White clouds drifted past, and the wind felt clean and cool against the skin.
In the distance, the Demon King's Castle rose sheer and black atop a distant hill.
Hero William drove his sword into the dirt and turned to look back at us.
"We all worked hard getting this far. We've finally reached the moment of the decisive battle. The Demon King's Castle is right in front of us."
Saintess Helena traced the sign of the cross over her chest.
"It's because every member of the party looked after one another and stayed together."
"I know. And that's exactly why—"
William spat on the ground.
"I think we should settle accounts right here before we go any farther. Once the Demon King falls, the Empire lands in my hands. The Emperor's daughter becomes my woman, and if I wait just a little longer the whole Imperial Family will be mine too. So under my authority I'm thinking of handing out the rewards in advance."
"Your authority? How much are you planning to give me?"
"For our pure Saintess, of course I have to offer something fine. After the princess, I'm planning to hold my second wedding with you. Consider it a reward for the effort that brought us this far."
"Have you lost your mind?"
Helena blew a sharp breath upward, lifting the hair from her forehead. For a Saintess, her temper was nothing short of ferocious.
"Looking at you, I get the feeling you plan to hog every scrap of credit for killing the Demon King. Who exactly do you take for a sucker? Look here, Hero. The holy water I've sprinkled alone has flowed like a river. The mana Liris burned across the Demon Continent would be enough to raise more than a hundred Magic Towers. And Bella—"
Barbarian Princess Bella yanked off her vest and flung it to the ground.
"If you filled a lake with the blood I've spilled, it would overflow and flood the countryside."
The comparison was not an exaggeration. The number of demons that had fallen to Bella's spear easily topped several thousand.
Helena narrowed her eyes and fixed William with a glare.
"Do you understand? You could never have made it this far alone. Me at the center, Liris, and Bella. If the three of us hadn't helped you, you wouldn't have crossed even half the Demon Continent."
But Helena—aren't you forgetting someone?
"I'm warning you. If you're thinking of betraying the three of us, we stop helping you starting right now."
For the record, our hero party has five members.
William's mouth curled into a smug grin.
"You already know this, but let me refresh your memory. The only thing that can sever the Demon King's neck is my Holy Sword. Without me, you could gather a thousand parties like this and it still wouldn't matter. You three are expendable. Replaceable at any time."
These idiots have been leaving me out of the conversation the whole time. I was just starting to wonder whether I should step in when Barbarian Princess Bella scooped her discarded vest back up.
"How about we don't fight? Arguing here only hurts all of us. Let's take the Demon King's head first and settle the books after. For the record, I'd be satisfied with just the Border Mountain Range."
William let out a booming laugh.
"The primordial mountains stuffed full of gold and transparent jewels? Asking for cold hard cash would be less terrifying."
Mage Liris finally spoke.
"I'm modest. Simply hand ownership of every Magic Tower on the continent over to our Magic Academy."
"Magic Towers, huh. Instead of that, how about I make you my second wife in Helena's place?"
"Shut up. Who would marry a pervert like you? You've dragged every virgin from every village we passed into your lodgings without missing a single one. And you did it while we were in the next room. Did you really want that?"
"Having you right next door only made me hornier, didn't it? The responsibility's on you. If I'd been alone I would have settled for warming the bed with just one girl."
"You're insane. The moment we subjugate the Demon King, go report to the Emperor and arrange for me to receive ownership of the Magic Towers. That is my condition for setting foot inside the Demon King's Castle."
Saintess Helena raised a hand.
"Hold on. Shouldn't the Magic Towers naturally go to our Holy Academy? If not, I'm walking away right here."
William clicked his tongue.
"Looks like the cats are about to claw each other to pieces. Who gets the Magic Towers? Magic Academy? Holy Academy? Hey, Juin. What do you think?"
Finally he said my name. At the most useless possible moment.
"There are a hundred towers, so just split them fifty-fifty."
Before the campaign even began, William had clearly promised me every last one of those towers. I tested whether he still remembered.
"That's a fine idea! Or we could decide after we've killed the Demon King, once we've seen both of you in action. Liris. Helena. Want to take the challenge?"
This bastard already forgot.
"Haa—"
Liris exhaled a long sigh.
"What kind of skills are we supposed to show?"
"Technique, of course! We'll settle it in bed. Whoever makes me harder wins. Hell, the winner can even become the second queen. The Magic Towers can be the wedding gift."
"Could I pass on the queen part and just take the towers?"
"Possible, sure."
"In that case it's worth a try. A mere Saintess is no match for me."
William tilted his head.
"I wouldn't be so sure. One of the conditions for joining the party was virginity. You're just as inexperienced as she is, aren't you?"
"Experience has nothing to do with it. It's about creativity."
"I'm already getting hard! I like the sound of that. The towers are starting to lean toward the Magic Academy."
All right, time out.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am the planner, the operator, and—most critically—the battery supplier of this hero party.
The Hero needs Holy Power. The Saintess needs divine energy. The Mage needs mana. The barbarian needs drugs.
I synthesize Ether, brew the drugs, extract mana, fill the divine energy, and then ferment Holy Power from that. Without me this party does not function.
I was the one who recruited these people and formed the party in the first place, yet they keep leaving me out of the conversation.
"Didn't you promise me every single Magic Tower?"
The Hero turned his head toward me.
"You stay out of this. Can't you see we're busy?"
"I came here for the Magic Towers."
"Don't worry. I'll set a few aside for you. You think I'd leave you out? But fair warning—if you get cocky once we're back in the Imperial Capital, you won't even get the scraps. An alchemist who can't read the room. You're nothing without us."
An alchemist, huh?
A being that vanished into legend. The last alchemist on the continent, and he dares belittle the profession to my face?
William kicked the side of the wagon a few times.
"I don't need you anymore. We've got plenty of potions left. More than enough to take the Demon King."
For the past several days he had pestered me for those potions, putting on every kind of act imaginable to stockpile them. Of course I knew what he was doing and made them anyway.
"So you're saying you can manage without me?"
The fool's answer was—
"That's not what I mean. Just shut up, tag along, and collect the leftovers. You think I'd actually abandon you?"
That was a rejection.
"Then we split here. Good luck among yourselves."
They were missing the opportunity of a lifetime. I had seen this cliché more than once or twice. A man with a previous life, after all.
"I'll give up everything and leave, so just make sure you kill the Demon King properly. That's enough for me."
"Well now, sending you back after coming this far leaves a bad taste in my mouth. How about we enjoy a little party before you go?"
"What party all of a sudden?"
"Thinking about it, there's no reason to wait. Let's check their skills right here first."
"What skills?"
"You heard the whole conversation. The cats started fighting over who was better. Isn't it fairer to decide the rewards first and then kill the Demon King? I'm serious. I'll entrust the Magic Towers to whichever girl performs best."
This trash had finally lost it.
Saintess Helena giggled.
"A party to break the virgins? Sounds good to me. We shouldn't be tense, so loosening up the body first is perfect."
Haa.
I forced down the sigh that tried to burst out.
They hadn't been like this in the Imperial Capital.
The moment Mage Liris set foot on the Demon Continent her speech had changed completely.
Why the hell is the road so sticky? It's dragging my skirt.
Saintess Helena had dropped the mask just as thoroughly.
I'm exhausted and they're all so goddamn bad at it. If you scream like that, how is a man supposed to finish? I could wrap it up in five minutes if I went in. Ugh, so annoying.
Anyone who wasn't a virgin would have their energy drained the instant they stepped into the Demon King's Castle and would be unable to fight. I had recruited them purely on skill, and somehow I ended up with a pack of bitches.
Still, the party had been a success in its own way. In the entire history of the Empire, ours was the only party that had cracked the Demon Continent and now stood before the Demon King's Castle.
So whatever these people did no longer mattered. As long as we smashed the Demon King's Castle according to the original plan, that was enough.
But still.
A virgin party? That was a step too far.
"Hey, William. Do you know what happens if a party member loses her virginity?"
"She loses her power inside the Demon King's Castle, right?"
"And you still want to do that?"
"We've already crossed the whole Demon Continent. Only the castle is left, and I can handle that much alone."
"You're going to fight alone without the Saintess, the Mage, and the warrior?"
"Obviously! I still have plenty of the potions you gave me."
So this was how the conversation was going to go.
"No virgin party here. The Demon King is waiting right over there."
"I've been so hard for a while now I feel like I'm going to die. I can't fight like this. When I get tense the blood rushes that way and it drives me crazy. There's no village from here on, so the only way to take care of it is with them."
The worst possible scenario was unfolding.
Saintess Helena pulled open the tent flap.
"Stop stalling and finish this already. Bella! Liris! Get in here. Do you want to live on the Demon Continent forever?"
I looked at Bella and Liris.
Bella shouted.
"William! Do we really have to go this far?"
"If you don't put out, I'm folding the whole thing right here and heading back to the Imperial Capital."
"Haa, you absolute lunatic. Just once, got it? Finish it quick."
Bella tossed her axe aside and strode into the tent.
This was a complete mess.
Saintess Helena sidled up next to me.
"If we're going to do it anyway, why not join in? With you, I wouldn't mind making it feel good."
The hero party was finished.
"William, are you still going to the Demon King's Castle?"
"Of course I am!"
"Fine then. Good luck. This is as far as I go. See you later."
If we ever see each other again, that is.
William bellowed after me.
"Whoever's leaving, leave! We're short on time so the four of us will do it together. Fuck it, let's play. Virgin party starts now!"
He was completely out of his mind.
If things had come to this, there was no other choice.
I had no option but to bring out the second plan.
I shook my head and started down the hill.