Counseling
One month ago. Right after I'd first become this body. Curiosity got the better of me, and I tried masturbating just once.
I carefully tapped my nipples a few times, then when I touched my clitoris, a sharp tingling sensation shot through me so suddenly that I yanked my hand away in shock.
It's hard to put into words precisely, but it was a clearly different kind of pleasure from a man's.
The experience had been so strange and unsettling that I never attempted masturbation again out of fear.
Tap, tap, tap.
"Nnh, haah…"
But now, a month later, I was trying it again.
I wasn't entirely sure why the urge had suddenly returned. Perhaps it was because I'd just gone through ovulation and my libido was boiling over — that was my best guess.
I carefully moved my hand, lightly tapping the firm, protruding nipples.
Even so, I was still too scared to touch my clitoris directly. I only rubbed the increasingly wet slit indirectly through my panties. But even that alone was enough to get this body thoroughly aroused.
"Ah, ahh."
…Are women's bodies always this sensitive?
No, probably not. This body must simply have been born especially sensitive and perverted. Getting this soaked just from tapping my nipples and rubbing my slit through my panties was something that defied all common sense.
"Nnh, nn, hahk…"
A strange, unsettling feeling kept blooming softly in my chest.
I was aware of how shameful it was, yet I couldn't stop my hands. Biting down hard on my collar to stifle the sounds, I kept fiddling with my fingers.
At some point my vision had gone hazy and my mind blank.
Saliva dripped from the tip of my tongue, which hung slightly past my lower teeth, soaking into my collar.
But no matter how much I touched my genitals, climax remained impossible. Of course — such half-hearted masturbation could never produce proper pleasure.
Like a puppy abandoned by its master, the whimpering sounds wouldn't stop. The frustrating feeling kept driving my fingers to move. My hips squirmed restlessly, urging for more direct stimulation.
"Hahk, ukh, nngh…"
A coquettish woman's voice tickled my ears. My lust seemed to keep rising without end.
The thin scraps of fabric covering my nipples and pussy were starting to feel bothersome. I realized I needed to move my hands more boldly to resolve this feeling. Half driven by instinct, I began stealthily slipping my fingers under my clothes.
To indulge in more direct stimulation instead of the indirect pleasure gained only through fabric.
And then, the moment my index fingernail brushed against the little bean shyly peeking out atop the slit—
"Hahk…?!"
At the unfamiliar sensation that shot through me like a jolt, I yanked my hand back out of my clothes in surprise.
My mind snapped clear in an instant. My furrowed brow smoothed out and my eyes flew wide open.
My curved spine straightened as if electrocuted, and my half-lidded eyes rounded fully.
"Haah, haah…?"
I exhaled rough, questioning breaths, then suddenly looked around.
The darkened room was pitch black. But my eyes, fully adapted to the dark, could examine in detail the wreckage I'd created.
The center of the bedsheet was darkly, damply soaked, and my pajamas were so wet with saliva and cold sweat that my skin tone showed through completely.
"Nnh…"
Only then did belated shame flood my heart. My body, still unsatisfied, urged me on like a starving baby bird begging for more feed. But I couldn't find the courage to touch my clitoris again.
What on earth had I been doing? A kind of post-nut clarity washed over me in waves.
Out of habit, I lifted my fingers and sniffed them.
A faintly clinging scent of a kind hard to put into words. It wasn't foul, nor was it fragrant. It was simply a smell that was genuinely difficult to describe in language.
If I had to force a comparison… something like the smell of batteries, perhaps.
It was probably the scent left behind by the fluids that had seeped out.
"…Haah."
A sigh escaped.
My thoroughly heated body was slowly cooling, left thoroughly incomplete.
The moisture on the sheets and pajamas evaporated, stealing the heat from my entire body. The cold that followed made me feel even more sensitive. Just as nipples tend to stiffen in winter, mine still stood rigidly at attention, announcing their embarrassing presence.
Annoyed for no good reason, I pressed down hard on the cutely protruding nipples as if trying to force them flat.
"Nnh."
I bit my lip without meaning to.
It felt strange.
Afraid I'd lose my reason again and start masturbating, I quickly pulled up the blanket and laid my head on the pillow. I just wanted to fall asleep as soon as possible.
But sleep wouldn't come.
I lay blankly on the bed, counting the stains on the ceiling. My mind was strangely clear. As if I hadn't properly completed something I absolutely had to do — as if I needed to fulfill my duty before sleeping.
Why on earth did it feel like I must finish masturbating at least once before falling asleep?
Before arriving at the dorm, my whole body had felt heavy as lead with exhaustion, as if I'd fall asleep the moment I lay down.
Trying to shake off the strange feeling, I rolled onto my side. The sensation of the damp pajamas and bedsheet felt painfully vivid.
If I just closed my eyes and finished masturbating once, I felt like I could sleep peacefully — yet again, my Intuition crackled through my mind. Somehow I felt I shouldn't do as the inner voice commanded.
In the end, I had to toss and turn for a long while before sleep finally took me.
The next morning I woke in a thoroughly foul mood.
The price of forcing myself to sleep without properly settling my incomplete body was steep.
In the bathroom mirror, a woman with hollow eyes unlike usual stared blankly back at me.
Even after sleeping, I didn't feel the least bit refreshed. If anything, the fatigue had only piled higher.
The thought of just relieving my lust right then and there did cross my mind… but I was already late. If I didn't get ready and leave the dorm soon, I might be late for class.
A dorm student being late — there was hardly a more pathetic excuse than that.
Why is my hair so tangled today?
Washing my hair in a hurry, the long strands that had grown soft and lengthy created all sorts of complications.
And then there was Murphy's Law, or whatever it was called.
Misfortune, they said, always came arm in arm.
Once the day started going wrong, every little thing grated on my nerves.
I'd put my clothes on backwards and had to change again, and the bra I hadn't bothered replacing even after my chest grew a bit larger squeezed my skin uncomfortably tight.
And why was there so much dust in the room?
I got irritable over the smallest things.
I left the dorm in a foul temper.
My head stayed foggy all day, and I couldn't focus on the lessons.
I scribbled diligently in my notebook, but nothing really stuck. I just habitually copied what was on the board, killing time.
The moment the after-school bell rang, I stood and started packing. Nova suddenly spoke up.
"Eileen! We were supposed to go downtown together yesterday. Don't tell me you don't have time again today?"
"Ah… sorry. I don't think I can today either. There's somewhere I need to go…"
I'd dozed off during yesterday's counseling session. To make up for the lost time, I had to go see Teacher Yohan for counseling again today.
But since I had to keep the fact that I was receiving counseling secret, I couldn't give Nova a detailed explanation.
Nova gave me a sulky look.
"What? Then when exactly will you have time?"
"I don't know… Sorry."
"…Fine. Then I'll just go with someone else. Let me know if you free up."
"Yeah, I will. Thanks."
After seeing Nova off, I sighed and headed for the infirmary.
I still didn't fully understand why I had to hide that I was receiving counseling.
Every time I gave Nova those awkward, half-baked excuses, my Intuition rang alarm bells. As if I needed to tell someone right now that I was being counseled and get help.
Help? Why would I need a third party's help just for receiving counseling? I couldn't understand it at all.
On top of that, a headache seemed to be returning — my temples had been throbbing for a while. Had the medicine Teacher Yohan gave me yesterday already worn off?
While I'm here for counseling, I should get a new dose of medicine too.
Knock knock.
"Come in."
I arrived at the infirmary and knocked, and an answer came immediately from inside.
I carefully entered, and Yohan waved cheerfully. I returned a short bow in greeting.
Kind, trustworthy Teacher Yohan. Seeing his face, the restless feeling in my heart seemed to gradually settle.
It was only my second visit, yet somehow this infirmary felt extremely comfortable and secure.
Taking a deep breath, the same distinctive scent as yesterday rose up. My shoulders naturally relaxed and my mood improved. Slightly hazy, yet comfortably at ease.
"Sit across from me. How was your day today?"
"Um… I'm not sure. For some reason I couldn't focus in class and felt foggy…"
"Hmm, is that so? Do you have something on your mind?"
"Huh? Ah, no. Nothing like that in particular…"
"Is it a difficult topic to talk about? Well, just a moment. I'll bring some tea, so try to settle your nerves."
"Yes, yes."
Yohan stepped out briefly. Soon I heard the clink of a teapot and such as he prepared something.
Listening to the sound of dishes, I sank blankly into the sofa.
Then Yohan returned with a steaming teapot and two cups and began pouring tea.
"Try some."
"Ah, yes. Thank you."
I carefully picked up the teacup and brought it to my lips.
Slurp.
"Ah… the taste… is rather unique."
"Not to your liking?"
"Ah, no, it's not that… I-it's good."
Truthfully it wasn't particularly good. I'd never really enjoyed tea to begin with.
Still, turning down tea the teacher had personally brewed felt awkward, so I forced myself to gulp it down.
Hearing my answer, Yohan smiled calmly.
"Isn't it? It's quite expensive tea. It has the effect of calming the mind and body and relieving tension."
"I-I see."
I forced a response and drank more.
Indeed, the claim about calming the mind and body didn't seem false — I felt myself growing more and more at ease.
The irritation that had flared for no reason since morning gradually subsided. The strange thing was that even after I'd emptied my entire cup, Yohan never once touched the tea in front of him.
Yohan glanced at my empty cup, then clapped his hands once and said,
"If you've settled a bit, shall we resume the counseling?"