Everyday Life
Just as I was about to step out through the school gates after getting my outing permit, Nova suddenly spoke up with a dissatisfied look in her eyes.
"Hey, are you seriously planning to go out in those clothes? In that uniform?"
"What's wrong with the uniform...?"
I looked down at what I was wearing and asked back. Nova answered as if she couldn't believe I was actually asking.
"The academy uniform design is pretty lame, you know. The colors suck, and there's no consistency. How are you supposed to walk around outside in that? It looks like something you'd only wear at a military academy."
"Uh... is that so?"
The words made me tilt my head involuntarily. I had never once thought the uniform design was bad.
If anything, personally, every morning when I put on the uniform and stood in front of the full-length mirror, I had even thought it looked pretty stylish. And the fact that it looked like something from a military academy made sense, since the academy really was like a military school. Besides, it wasn't even a regular middle or high school, so hoping for a pretty uniform seemed a bit...
But Nova shook her head vigorously as if she had read my thoughts, making her disagreement clear.
"With looks like yours, anything looks good on you, so you probably never thought about it. But from an ordinary person's aesthetic sense, it's really awful. Take me, for example! Look! On a short, scrawny body like mine, putting that on would be a disaster!"
Nova raised her voice a little, getting worked up. Maybe she had been bottling up a lot of resentment toward the uniform. She was already changed into casual clothes, but I imagined her wearing the uniform anyway.
"Hmm..."
Even imagining it, I still wasn't sure.
Was this outfit really that bad? It was comfortable to move in, breathable, and I just saw it as a functional, decent piece of clothing.
Plus, for someone criticizing me, Nova was also quite beautiful. She was short and had a slender figure, but her face alone could cover for even the most mediocre fashion.
I had never once thought she looked bad in the uniform either.
My lukewarm reaction seemed to annoy her.
"Ah, whatever. Fine. Just hurry up and go change. We're going out to have fun, so wearing the uniform outside too is a bit much. How are you supposed to enjoy yourself when you feel so stifled?"
"Umm..."
Hearing it that way, she had a point.
In the end, unable to resist her nagging, I stopped by the dorms once, changed clothes, and came back.
It was a simple outfit: just a white shirt and jeans. Nova frowned when she saw my appearance.
"A shirt and jeans...? Come to think of it, every time you have to wear casual clothes, you show up in something like that, don't you? Don't tell me you don't have any other clothes?"
"How did you know? I have five identical sets of these in my closet."
Five white shirts for tops, and for bottoms, five pairs each of the same design jeans and sweatpants. That was all the casual clothes I owned.
What more was there to say? It was a wardrobe that especially prioritized functionality. Jeans were comfortable to walk around in, and the design didn't look too bad either. Most of all, I liked that the bottom wasn't open like a skirt.
Skirts were still a pretty high hurdle for me, after all. Even for the academy uniform, I deliberately got the men's pants to wear. It was something that could get demerits for dress code violation, but this academy was relatively lenient with top-ranking students. They seemed to respect that much freedom in attire. Plus, pants were more comfortable for activity than skirts.
At my nonchalant answer, Nova closed her mouth as if she had lost her words.
It was a long while before she spoke again.
"This won't do. Let's go buy clothes first."
As soon as we arrived at the clothing store, Nova picked out a skirt right away and held it out to me.
Since she looked ready to put it on me and buy it on the spot, I had no choice but to wave my hands in refusal.
"H-how am I supposed to wear something like this? It's embarrassing."
"What's embarrassing about this?"
"Well... it shows the entire line of my legs. I hate that kind of thing. One gust of wind and even my underwear would show."
"It's not even that short of a skirt, is it? It'll cover up to your thighs just fine."
"Still, I don't like it. The bottom is open. Cold air just flows right through."
"You're full of excuses, you know that?"
Even though I firmly refused, Nova seemed unable to let go of her attachment.
"If you wear this with that, it'd look really pretty and suit you so well..."
Had she always been this interested in fashion? It felt like she was trying to live out styles she couldn't pull off with her own slender figure through me.
Well, we'd only been friends for a month, so it wasn't strange if there were sides of her I didn't know.
At this rate of just bickering, it would be hard for Nova to accept it either. I decided to persuade her with a more logical and calm explanation.
"Honestly speaking. Objectively, I'm pretty good-looking, right...? But if I wear something that shows my bare legs so clearly and get weird stares, what then? I really hate getting those kinds of looks from guys."
"...Are you picking a fight with me right now?"
"Huh?"
At Nova's sudden remark, I blinked. Picking a fight? All of a sudden...?
"Never mind. You don't even seem to know what's wrong. It's not like what you said is particularly wrong, and if you didn't mean it that way, it's fine."
Nova sighed and shook her head. The look she gave me, as if looking at a delusional patient, was oddly irritating.
I wanted to dig deeper into what she was thinking with that gaze, but she changed the subject before I could even ask.
"Eileen, I'm telling you this because it seems like you don't realize it right now."
"...?"
"You said the problem with wearing a skirt is that it shows the line of your legs clearly, but honestly speaking, those jeans you're wearing right now are way sexier than a skirt. Look at this—your thighs look like they're about to burst out any second."
"What."
Nova twisted her lips.
"See, I guess you really weren't thinking about it. I thought you were deliberately dressing so boldly."
"Th-this is sexy? Why...?"
Then what about all my efforts so far to not show femininity...?
As I froze in shock, Nova held the skirt up against me to gauge the fit and continued.
"Saying you hate your figure showing while wearing such tight jeans is a bit shameless, don't you think? If you're that bothered by your figure showing, it'd be better to wear a long skirt instead."
"Uh... is that so?"
"That's right. Here, take this and go in there and try it on. Ah, let's try this one too. It'd look good layered over it..."
"Th-that's enough. I don't have money to buy that many."
"Ah... right. I didn't check the price tags. Tsk."
Nova clicked her tongue regretfully.
The way her eyes scanned my body while coordinating outfits was somehow scary. Before she could use the price tags as an excuse to look at more clothes, I quickly went into the fitting room, changed, and came out.
"So much better! As expected, with a good base, anything looks good on you."
Nova clapped her hands and beamed.
"I don't really get it. Is there a mirror?"
When I asked a bit grumpily and curtly, Nova pointed toward the full-length mirror.
"There's one here. Take a look."
"Oh..."
It was better than I expected...
As I unconsciously opened my mouth in admiration, Nova shrugged.
"Well? Not bad, right?"
"Yeah. I think I get why you said the uniform design was lame."
"Right? Actually, from the first time I saw you, I wanted to dress you up like this. Since the foundation is good, just a little styling makes it pop so much."
"Yeah. I always thought I was pretty, but dressed up, it's to this degree."
"...Do you say things like that about yourself out loud?"
Nova narrowed her eyes. Maybe referring to myself in the third person sounded weird to her.
From my perspective, it was unfair. By my standards, I wasn't evaluating my own face, but Eileen's face. So I'd prefer if she stopped looking at me like some princess-complex or delusional person.
"Hmm..."
After staring blankly at the mirror for a while, I suddenly swallowed a sigh. Aside from the clothes being pretty, it was still a bit embarrassing.
Wearing these frilly clothes and a skirt made me feel like I'd really become a girl.
How should I put it—it felt like my identity was shaking. The masculinity I carefully cherished inside me was crying out in unbearable shame.
Even when I was forced by seniors at a college MT to wear a skirt and dance girl-group dances, I don't think I was this embarrassed.
"Looking in the mirror, gushing and blushing like that is a bit much to watch. The clothes are done, so let's go do something else."
"Ah, okay."
At Nova's words, I headed back to the fitting room to take the clothes off. They were pretty, but I still didn't feel like buying them. There was resistance to wearing them myself, and even if I bought them, they'd probably just end up stuffed in the closet.
But Nova adamantly stopped me and pulled me by the hand, so before I knew it, we'd finished paying and left the store still dressed like that.
Suddenly, I felt people's gazes focusing on me. With a slightly embarrassed heart, I hunched my shoulders tightly.