I Haven't Fallen for Hypnosis Yet? The Peloponnesos Clinic Again
She'd vanished with some nonsense about meeting the chairman, and the next thing I knew, she was talking about reinstatement.
I'd known the elf went around calling herself a doctor of anthropology, but I never imagined she had actually stood at a lectern and taught anyone.
And this was the same elf currently prowling this sacred hall of learning in an outfit so shameless you could barely bring yourself to call her an educator — even in a world full of different races?
"What's with that disgusting look on your face? Wipe it off. Smile before I make you."
"Ahahahaha!"
The etiquette-enforcer aimed at my gut rang my laughter bell so hard I burst out cackling on the spot. Elf marksmanship might have been a joke, but at point-blank range, unless the gun fired backward, the outcome was already decided. So even under the elf's contemptuous glare, I clutched my stomach and rolled across the floor.
"Ow… that hurts…"
"See? That's what you get for acting like a lunatic! Or are you faking sick just to wriggle out of this… no. You don't look like you're faking."
My arms throbbed. The places where the dungeon's core-tentacles had coiled around me last time ached like a full-body muscle cramp.
"I was planning to keep researching for a few more years, but I'm out of mon— ahem. Your outpatient treatment needs handling too. I've arranged an excuse for you to visit the Alliance once a week, so you ought to be grateful!"
Whether I was hurting or not didn't matter to her. She crossed her arms beneath those enormous breasts and preened about how, thanks to her, I'd be able to visit Saintess Village more often. I lifted my head toward her.
It grated a little, but she wasn't wrong — getting outpatient treatment in Saintess Village had just gotten a whole lot easier.
I tried to thank her properly, but her chest was so massive that no matter how far I tilted my head back, those things blocked out the sun like a pair of parasols. I couldn't even see her face.
"Th-thank you."
"Look me in the eyes when you say that! Where exactly are you looking while you thank me?!"
The elf hastily moved her arms as if to cover her chest and hips and shouted.
"Don't tell me you want to ravage my ass again…!"
"Honestly, it's not just there. I'd like to do other places too."
"W-what?! S-saying something that indecent in an Academy full of people?!"
Her face went scarlet as she shrieked — and the stares her own voice drew made her panic. She hauled me to my feet and dragged me straight behind the building into a secluded corner.
"Y-you filthy monkey! After everything your mistress has done for you, y-you dare spout that kind of nonsense…!"
"I can't exactly lie about it, can I?"
"Have you never heard of speaking in roundabout terms?! M-more importantly, it's true, isn't it! That you want to do shameless things with me…"
"?"
Was she cooking up another bizarre scheme?
Instead of twirling her hair, she hooked a finger through the Peacemaker's trigger guard and spun the gun in slow circles, her face growing redder by the second as she sank into some private agony.
Was she sick? Maybe the professorship had been a fever dream all along, and the same fever was burning her up right now…
Wanting to check on her, I leaned in without a word. The moment my face filled her blue eyes, they went wide with horror.
"Get away from me! Wh-who said I'd let you?! Absolutely not! As if I'd ever let the likes of your semen into my noble pussy and womb…?!"
"What are you even talking about all of a sudden?!"
Muttering to herself one second and leveling her gun at me the next — I dodged the elf's tyranny with a leap so explosive even I was surprised, clearing the Academy wall in a single bound.
"Where do you think you're going?! Get back here this instant! Just because you run to Saintess Village doesn't mean I can't catch you…!!"
Bang—!
Bullets whistled past me close enough to draw a cold sweat. I scrambled aboard a dragon-carriage bound for Saintess Village.
Some time later, I arrived.
—Haaah, if you thrash around like that during treatment, patient…♥
—Outdoor treatment costs an extra gold. If that's all right with you— aah, someone's in a hurry…♥
Saintess Village was packed as always, overflowing with patients and adventurers. As usual, the saintesses wore outrageously revealing outfits as they gathered the ailing, and the patients — drawn like bees and butterflies to flowers — followed those beauties and their Holy Power into treatment halls… or, as was plain to see, down back alleys for some thoroughly wholesome therapy.
Wheeeeeee, wheeeeeee—!!
—You there! Outdoor treatment is illegal! I saw you with your pants down, so don't even think about playing dumb…!
—Ah, a raid! Run!
—Hold it right there! Today I'm arresting every last one of you for public indecency…!
—Scram! If the field team catches you, you're done for!
Same old Saintess Village — noisy, feverish, the heat never quite dying down. A place where every day felt like a festival.
Humming a cheerful little tune, I headed for the clinic where Nemea and Leo worked.
I had no intention of taking the back alleys. Sure, they were a shortcut, but they were so narrow that the saintesses and patients mid-outdoor-treatment made them nearly impassable — and getting snagged by a surprise inspection wasted more time than it saved.
Wheeeeeee! Wheeeeeee—!
—Grab those bastards!
—Where do you think you're touching?! Hands off!
—We're saintesses! Even if you're on duty, you can't just— a-aah?!
—As if that shameless outfit weren't enough, you're not even wearing panties! And what's running down those thighs is clearly a man's… Arrest them for public indecency!
—I told you not to finish inside!!
"Though with the patrols clearing the alleys out like this, that's a different story."
I'd only avoided the backstreets because they were a hassle to walk through. If everyone had already been chased out, there was no reason not to use them. And if memory served, Nemea and Leo's clinic was faster to reach this way. Rubbing my aching arms, I stepped into the alley reeking of male and female pheromones.
Wheeeeeee—! Wheeeeeeeee—!
"Still… they don't usually crack down this hard. Is this some kind of intensified enforcement period?"
Even after I'd entered the alley, the patrol whistles never stopped. Screams and the thunder of running feet echoed from every direction. A full-scale chase between hunters and hunted was raging across the whole of Saintess Village.
I didn't think they usually pursued people this relentlessly.
I was weaving between the alleys, still puzzling over it, when someone stepped into my path.
"Excuse me. May I ask you something?"
"Uh, what is it?"
"Have you witnessed any men and women engaged in indecent acts around here? If so…"
"The people who were here already got rounded up by another patrol. Everyone else headed out that alley. Oh — there's one over there, too."
"Ah, thank you for your cooperation! You there! Hunting virgins under the guise of a circumcision is a violation!"
—Kyaaaaaaaah?!
I got stopped for real inspections a few times along the way, but since the saintess I was visiting might have been indecent while I myself was here purely for medical treatment, they let me go quickly enough. Before long I stood before a building of pure white marble.
Peloponnesos — the clinic where Leo and Nemea worked.
"They're on edge here too."
Unlike the other clinics that practically screamed seedy establishment, this place genuinely stuck to proper treatment. Even so, it was still a clinic inside Saintess Village, which meant it couldn't escape the crackdown entirely. The guards who normally stood at the entrance with eyes peeled wide now wore fatigue they couldn't hide — still sharp, but with dark circles so deep underneath that I almost felt sorry for them.
Instead of the usual bit of small talk, I hurried inside. From somewhere came the rapid patter of footsteps racing straight toward me.
"Huh? Nemea, why the rush— mmph!"
"Today I'm definitely going to rail— I mean, there's absolutely no way I'm letting you get away…!!"
"Pardon?"
She threw her arms around me out of nowhere and started talking nonsense. How she'd known I was coming and bolted out immediately, and how she was spouting ridiculous things again today as always — I wanted to say something, but Nemea was panting hard, dragging me off somewhere while scanning the surroundings with suspicious intensity. I shut my mouth at once.
Anyone looking would have seen a saintess about to do something very, very bad.