Prologue: Hypnosis, I Haven't Fallen for It Yet?
As if looking once—or twice, or ten times—still wasn't enough to make it real, the elf kept tipping her head up and down, raking her gaze over me and my cock again and again.
"Year-round heat...? Then even now... no, then this—there's no way. It's hanging there so pathetically limp...!"
"That's a bit harsh."
Even so, she still couldn't accept it. The bright, sparkling intelligence that had glittered in her eyes like stars in the night sky was gone without a trace, replaced by a visibly shaken look that seemed to beg me for one last confirmation.
"Hiiik...?!"
Instead of answering, I swung the thing around even more shamelessly, whirling it like an elephant's trunk exactly the way she'd just described it—limp and dangling. The elf let out a shrill scream at the cock swaying right in front of her face and pointedly dropped her hand to her holster.
"H-how dare you! You're not the only one with a gun, I'll have you know!"
"A gun?"
"Sh-shut up!"
I shut up immediately.
Honestly, I already knew she'd draw on me the second I opened my mouth about anything. Who in their right mind would even think about getting hard under those circumstances?
Of course, if I so much as dropped my gaze, there she was: a golden-haired elf with two milk jugs the size of human heads mounted on her chest, setting them swaying without the faintest trace of fear as she looked back and forth between me and my cock. Any man equipped with one of those would have found that face and that figure impossible to endure. That much was true.
But even now—and especially given that three years ago, the first time she'd told me to show her my cock, I'd happily gotten hard and nearly gotten myself shot for real—I had to desperately suppress the blood trying to rush in that direction.
"G-go ahead and try it, then! I'll show you who's faster!"
"Pardon? If you're asking me whether I'm fast or slow, I'd say I'm probably the latter..."
"...?"
I had no idea what she was scheming just yet, but she clearly wanted to see my cock swell up. So I skillfully turned my gaze elsewhere, determined not to pay her any attention.
Perhaps my efforts paid off. The elf, who had been glaring at me with suspicion while breathing in somewhat agitated bursts, cleared her throat and composed herself.
"Ahem. Well, if you say so, then I suppose that's how it is. In that case, I'll ask you once more! Answer my questions honestly and without any lies!"
"Yes."
Whatever it is, I wish she'd just get to the point already.
As if those head-sized things weren't already more than enough, the elf crossed her arms beneath a pair of breasts so massive, and so barely contained by her revealing outfit, that it was a miracle the fabric hadn't torn. In that pose she leveled a gaze even hotter and more radiant than before straight at my cock, and despite everything I'd come to think of this elf over the past few years, the situation down there was getting harder and harder to endure.
"You said it yourself just now with that vulgar mouth of yours, did you not? That humans are a species that enters heat all year round."
"Yes, I did say that, and there's no lie in it. Humans are animals that can actually mate in any season..."
"That's enough! What I want to ask is, even though you're in heat year-round, why—ahem—why..."
"Ah. You want to know why my cock isn't erect?"
"C-co...?!"
In an instant a bullet ripped past my ear with a shriek of torn air, and the elf's breasts heaved wildly. At the same time, a single gunshot rang out across the Wasteland where the mansion we lived in stood.
"C-c-c-c-c... who, who do you think you're saying such vulgar words in front of right now...?!"
The elf's ears had gone scarlet. She hadn't been able to hold back after all. She'd fired.
There's premature, and then there's whatever the hell that was. Judging by how this was going, I'd figured she'd lose her patience and squeeze one off sooner or later—I just hadn't expected the word cock to be the trigger.
"...You're the one who casually checked my cock first, and now you're calling it vulgar?"
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing. I said your marksmanship is impressive as always."
It had all happened too fast for fear to even register, and if anything the gunshot only made me bolder. Faced with yet another side of the elf I'd never seen before, I answered her with a perfectly straight face.
"Besides, is that really a vulgar expression? Elves might feel differently, but human men commonly call their own genitals a cock, and a woman's is a pu—"
"You don't need to explain it! I know what it means! What I am trying to say is whose—wh-wh-wh-whose—whose permission did you get to use such vulgar language?!"
Yours.
I was starting to seriously doubt whether this was even the same person who, the moment she'd bought me, had ordered me to show her my genitals with a perfectly straight face, and who had personally yanked my pants down afterward to check and check again.
Anyway, I decided to play dumb for now.
"Did I make some kind of mistake? You told me to answer honestly about my heat, so I was trying to share the related knowledge..."
"A lie would be... ahem. No, of course not. Yes. You can't say a single false word to me right now, so... ahem..."
Must have been her day to drop a clutch. She was already emptying her revolver without a shred of restraint—I just hadn't counted on her womb being every bit as hopelessly premature.
While I was privately cracking that joke, the elf set her breasts swaying once more, slid the revolver in her hand back into its holster, and went on.
"It's vulgar, but anyway—yes. That's it. Even though you're in heat year-round, why is your co— ahem. Why is your penis hanging there so limp like that? I've heard that males of other races become erect when they enter heat or feel sexual desire, and more than anything, you yourself used to—ahem—s-stand it up just fine at the beginning, even when I hadn't told you to, didn't you?"
"Yes. Back then I was embarrassed, but I did get erect."
"Again! There you go again...?!"
I never thought I'd live to hear a voice like rolling jade beads ask me why my cock wouldn't get hard. By way of demonstration I snapped my hips again, shaking a cock that had grown a little thicker in the meantime like a roaring elephant, and the elf's breasts bounced wildly up and down, laying her panic bare for anyone to see.
"W-what do you think you're doing? Stop that! Right this— hiiik...?!"
The elf bellowed at me, her face flushing scarlet as if she'd seen something she shouldn't have. She dropped her hand to her holster again, making it clear she could hunt this elephant whenever she pleased—but I only stepped closer, one pace at a time, letting the thing dangle and sway as I came.
"If you're asking why it doesn't show the same reaction as the males of other races, I'll answer you—but even I can't give you a definitive explanation."
"What?"
I gave the elephant's trunk another lazy swing, this time all the way toward the lower belly where her womb sat, and the elf made a point of keeping her hand on the holster, promising she'd shoot the instant I tried anything. But this was exactly the kind of moment that called for even more shamelessness.
A sliver of hope had just come into view—a chance, however thin, to pay back every last bit of resentment I'd been storing up.
"Even I don't fully understand why my body does this. But I can tell you with certainty that human males are in heat year-round."
"That can't be! Your penis is hanging there so li— no. Never mind."
She started to say something in her fluster at how calmly I was talking, then stopped, as if she'd just caught on to something. Her eyes lit up.
"There's a condition, isn't there. A condition that inflates that... stubby little organ of yours."
"Stubby? It's grown a lot these past few years, I... yes. For example, when I fall into a state of excessive excitement, among other things. But simply put, it happens mainly when I see an attractive member of the opposite sex, or, as you said, when I feel sexual arousal. That's when those phenomena appear in the genitals."
"An attractive member of the opposite sex..."
What kind of conversation even was this? It was ridiculous even to me—but before I could laugh about it privately, the elf crossed her arms as if to hoist up those enormous breasts of hers and started preening.
"Hmph. Then it's simple! An attractive woman—meaning me, more beautiful and charming than any woman in the world!"
I wanted to tell her that delusions that detailed were a medical condition, but the fact that she was devastatingly beautiful was also true, so I kept my mouth shut. However much confidence this elf had in her own body, looking at the body alone, she had more than enough right to it.
Before long she had her chin tipped so high she was practically facing the sky, and she went on, thoroughly pleased with herself.
"Well then. I'll permit it, so right this instant, that pathetic organ of yours—"
"Sorry to interrupt, but I was about to add that it isn't working right now."
"...What?"
It only lasted a moment. At my answer, the elf froze solid in that same preening pose, then rounded her eyes at me all over again, just as wide as before.
"Isn't working? What is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't have any medical knowledge, so I can't say for certain, but sexual function can become impaired when the body isn't in a normal state. For example, when fatigue builds up, or when you regularly take on excessive stress..."
"Ahem..."
She flinched. So she wasn't entirely without a conscience. At the word stress she whistled a thin, wandering little tune and looked pointedly elsewhere.
"Ahem... a-and then?"
"And then there are cases where someone overdoes it on foods or drugs meant to build stamina and ends up with sexual dysfunction that way."
"Ugh..."
A second strike, square in the conscience. She couldn't pretend she hadn't heard this one either. The elf flinched as she looked down at the monster she herself had raised—but I paid that no mind and snapped my hips again, with a clear message of take a good look at this thing you made.
Shameless as she was, she apparently still had a sliver of conscience left. This time she didn't reach for the holster. She simply watched the cock swinging back and forth like a pendulum near her lower belly.
"B-but that can't be! I'll admit I fed you this and that out of curiosity, but in the past three years I have never, out of concern for your wellbeing, fed you anything to an excessive degree!"
"In that case..."
"I-in that case...? In that case, what?! You look like you know something!! Speak! Right now!"
What was I supposed to say here to take even one petty little step toward getting even with this elf? I rolled my eyes this way and that, trying to escape the clear, bright stare she had fixed on me—but my gaze, like iron filings to a magnet, had already locked onto her enormous breasts.
"In that case, I'm sorry to put it this way, but I can only conclude that Lady Celestin lacks sexual appeal..."
"W-what did you just say?!"
The pair of watermelons floating before my eyes erupted into a tectonic upheaval without historical precedent, flinging the beads of sweat that had gathered on them in every direction.
"I lack appeal?! Good grief. I cannot believe this. Take that back immediately!"
"But with my limited knowledge, that's the only conclusion I can—"
"I don't want to hear it! Take it back! I said take it back right now!"
To an elf who, not a moment ago, had been calling herself an attractive and beautiful woman—to an elf whose pride in herself ran deeper than anyone's—there was apparently no humiliation quite like this one. After treating my eyes to a few more spectacular bounces, she shoved her face in close and started browbeating me. I raised a hand for calm and answered her, nice and even.
"I find it hard to believe—truly hard to believe—but could it be that those vulgar eyes of yours are so dim they can't even perceive the radiance pouring off my brilliant beauty?"
"I do agree that Lady Celestin is beautiful and attractive, even to someone as inadequate and vulgar as myself."
At my calm reply, the elf's enormous breasts bounced upward again with a heavy jolt. A bizarre sight, vulgarity and sanctity occupying the same space.
"Then why! Why do I lack sexual appeal?! Can you not see this outfit?! Who do you think I'm wearing this obscenely lewd outfit fo— hah?! Don't tell me you want me to take off even more?! To strip everything off and go completely naked—to show you my fully nude body—is that what you're saying?!"
Humans really were an outrageously vulgar species!
And then she covered her chest with both arms, breasts spilling out between her forearms. It was a spectacle unto itself.
"Please don't misunderstand. Look over here carefully."
"There's nothing more to see! Now that you've said you feel no sexual attraction toward me whatsoever, I'll just dispose of you quickly and— ah?!"
The way you don't just drop a line when you fish, but twitch the bait up and down so the fish believes it's genuinely alive—my cock, which had been hanging limp only a moment ago, had begun to slowly lift its head, like a young man blinking awake to a morning alarm, reacting to the unusual atmosphere the elf was giving off today.
"T-this is?!"
"If I may speak from my limited perspective, sexual appeal isn't something that appears from visual elements alone. Just as a delicious meal can only satisfy our picky palates when a matching delicious smell and an appetizing appearance come together in harmony with the food itself."
It wasn't a complete lie, and it wasn't the complete truth either—but the elf nodded as if it made sense and urged me to go on.
"Sexual appeal is the same. Just looking isn't enough. My cock has already been satisfied by Lady Celestin's charms again and again, and it's grown accustomed to them."
"I-is that so... h-hmph! Well of course! My elegant and beautiful looks, unmatched throughout all of history, would never fail to move even a mere Yellow Monkey like you... so is that all?"
Did she just ask if that was all I'd managed to get up?
Looking as if her confidence had returned, she puffed those enormous breasts out again and, at the same time, tossed off a remark that was more than a little easy to misunderstand. I added a further explanation.
"I did tell you. A delicious meal only becomes a true delicacy when taste, smell, and sight all come together..."
"And sexual appeal is the same... s-so you're saying putting me in this vulgar outfit isn't enough...!!"
"I never dressed you in it, and I never asked you to wear it, but I'll say yes for now."
The elf's body began to tremble, her face flushed red. Her lips were twitching too, as if there was something she wanted to say—but given that she clearly had a goal involving my cock, I flicked the thing toward her lower belly again as it started to droop, just to keep the pressure on.
At that—
"S-so you do acknowledge that I... I... hoo... am beautiful and attractive?"
"Of course. There's no male alive who wouldn't fall for Lady Celestin's beauty. Myself included. If I may offer some advice, you need a bit more stimulation on the visual side."
"Ahem. Even if you try to beguile my ears with such pleasant words at this late hour, I-I wouldn't be happy about it..."
She mashed her hat brim down over her face, and both of her ears flapped hard. I wanted to see what kind of expression she was making, but given how scarlet those ears had gone, the only reasonable conclusion was that she was embarrassed, or mortified, or both.
After a few deep breaths, though, the elf bleached those ears white again, snapped her head up along with the brim of her hat, and said,
"Fine! Then will you teach me? How to p-put you in heat."
"Really? If a lovely and charming woman like Lady Celestin—whose only flaw is a somewhat eccentric personality—would do that for me, I'd be nothing but delighted. But you'd have to follow my words completely... are you sure that's all right?"
Don't throw a fit about it later, all right? I was laying down a little insurance in advance, for the day my fake hypnosis finally got found out. The elf, however, nodded at once, then spoke as if, having made up her mind, there was no point in hesitating.
"It's fine! More than fine! There will be no retaliation! Do you think I would let such petty emotions interfere with the advancement of scholarship? Now tell me! How to inflate your penis and put you in heat!"
"Then let's start by correcting the terminology. From now on, try calling this thing of mine a cock. And if possible—no, if it wouldn't be too rude—could you take off just a lit—"
"Hiiik?!"
A shriek of torn air ripped past my ear once more, and the elf's breasts heaved in a single great bounce.
Was wagging my cock at her womb while playing it cool the problem after all?