Chapter 33
The one thing barnacles and leeches have in common is that they hand you experience points the moment you catch them.
Then a butterfly landed on the crown of my head and flitted off again.
A chill ran down my spine.
Don't tell me my skull had a bounty on it?
Hah, no way. Even for me, that seemed like a stretch.
I wasn't a monster, after all.
Wait — what if you gain experience for killing my skeleton soldiers?
If that were true, there'd be no sweeter deal in the world.
"Summon."
I called up the skeleton soldier who'd failed to make it into the Khalid honey pot. The number scribbled on his forehead in magic ink: 13. The bare-bones youngest of the family, without a single piece of equipment on him.
"Sorry about this. But this kind of thing is the youngest's job. Assume the position."
Thud. Thud. Thud.
I set down my pack and started whaling on him with the pickaxe.
No. 13 began getting beat down without the faintest idea why.
"Heep!"
Hyundo recoiled in horror at the sight.
EXP: 1,829 / 10,000
A skeleton soldier has died. Its stats will be transferred to adjacent skeleton soldiers.
EXP: 1,829 / 10,000
Nothing. It didn't go up.
Well, fair enough — if smacking around your own summoned skeletons granted experience, that would be genuinely broken.
"Hmm... no dice? Hmm... is it because it's me doing it? Hey, Hyundo."
I held the pickaxe out to Hyundo.
"Heeeck. Y-yes, sir?"
His eyes went saucer-wide, and he panicked all over again. What a timid kid.
"You do it. Summon."
The skeleton soldier I'd just hammered on reappeared. He immediately covered his head with both arms and hunched into a ball.
Sorry, No. 13. Some things just have to be done once.
"Hiccup. M-me, sir?"
"Yeah."
Hyundo accepted my pickaxe with hands that trembled like jelly.
"H-hyung-nim, if I've done something to offend you, I sincerely apolog—"
"It's not that, so relax and just crack his skull open."
"A-are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Understood."
Hyundo swung the pickaxe.
Whoosh.
Huh?
He dodged?
No. 13 sidestepped. After all, I hadn't ordered him to stand there and die. And Hyundo's attack had been extremely direct and simple. Even I could probably have dodged it.
Hyundo swung again.
Another dodge. Swing, dodge. Strike, dodge.
The skeleton soldier might not have much in the way of raw physicality, but his combat instincts were sharp. Then again, No. 13 might be the youngest, but he'd contributed to taking down the Hydra.
"Ha... damn it."
When not a single blow landed, Hyundo's stubbornness kicked in. He rolled up his sleeves and went for a full swing.
The skeleton soldier tilted his skull slightly and slipped it. It looked like it would connect, and it didn't. With the barest movement, he let the attack glance off.
Meanwhile, the skeleton soldier started signing something at me.
'Shall I kill him?'
Startled, I signed back an order. My sign language had gotten past beginner level now.
'No. Do NOT kill him. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.'
What good did raw Strength stats do, anyway? Hyundo had zero combat experience. The only things he'd ever caught were barnacles and leeches too dumb to run.
The skeleton soldier, on the other hand, had real battle experience. Against a Hydra far stronger than himself, no less.
Slowly losing his mind, Hyundo finally hurled the pickaxe aside and tried punching.
Whoosh — swoosh —
The skeleton soldier dodged even that with ease.
No. 13 was under no buffs whatsoever right now. That meant his physical specs were below those of an average adult male — and yet he was dodging every one of Hyundo's attacks with minimal movement.
'Well, he did dodge a Hydra's attacks.'
I leisurely watched the game of tag unfold between Hyundo and No. 13. The moment a hit seemed certain, he'd dodge by a dust mote's width; the moment he seemed caught, he'd slip away unhurried.
"Hoo-hah, hoo-hah... I WILL catch you."
No matter how practiced Hyundo was with a pickaxe, actual combat naturally burned far more stamina than mechanically chipping stationary barnacles. Sweat was soon pouring off him like rain.
As he chased that infuriating, bone-rattling bastard who kept weaving around every attack, Hyundo thought.
'You try it, he said.'
'Relax and crack his skull open, he said.'
But... it wasn't easy.
'He wouldn't just ask me to do this for no reason. Could it be... is he trying to teach me something?'
If so — did that mean he was accepting me as one of his own?
Hyundo's grip tightened on the pickaxe.
But the result didn't change. The skeleton soldier evaded Hyundo's full swings over and over — a light step back here, a slight tilt of the head there.
'This is a test. A trial to prove I'm better than a pile of bones!'
He couldn't bear to disappoint him.
'I'm a Hunter. This is a matter of pride.'
If he couldn't even beat a scrawny sack of bones...
"HYAAAAH!"
Crash.
The pickaxe bit hollowly into the floor. The skeleton bastard just smirked and shrugged his shoulders, looking down at him with an expression that said, what exactly are you doing?
"UAAAAH!!"
Whoosh — whoosh —
Chipping barnacles with a pickaxe had been so easy, but hitting a moving target was another story entirely. He'd gotten so skilled that his Constellation had even granted him the Pickaxe Expert trait. But applying that in combat was a whole different beast.
Hyundo flung the pickaxe away and started throwing punches at the skeleton.
Sidestep. Another infuriating dodge.
Way too leisurely.
"Grrr..."
If striking wouldn't work, then it was time for the ground game. He'd never formally trained in martial arts, but he could manage a tackle.
A few jabs as feints. Then —
There! An opening!
He dropped his stance, grabbed the skeleton's scrawny thigh, and put his full weight into it. Gotcha, you little—
"HYAAAAH!"
Crack.
The skeleton soldier was smashed straight into the floor, shattering into powder and vanishing.
"Nice!"
"Oh! Good stuff. How was it?"
Doosik let out an admiring whistle and asked for his impressions.
"I will follow your will, hyung-nim."
The truth was, if the skeleton soldier had attacked back, he'd have lost a hundred times out of a hundred. He'd managed to finish it off, but in practice it was a defeat. Which meant he was the youngest of the group...
"What are you talking about?"
"I... acknowledge that I am the youngest."
"What are you on about? Did your experience go up or not?"
"...What?"
"Check your status window."
"Status window?"
EXP: 29,918 / 500,000
Looking at the absurdly inflated experience requirement that had kicked in past Level 10, Hyundo couldn't tell. He had no idea what his experience had been before the fight.
"I... couldn't say, sir."
"Hmm... should we run it again?"
"Yes! Order me, please!"
Adrenaline was boiling through his body. The exhilaration of combat. For the first time in his life, he'd fought a real battle against a monster. His heart pumped fast, feeding battle energy to every limb. The combat instinct sleeping within him was raising its head.
"Alright. Summon."
The skeleton bastard reappeared.
'I've figured out your weakness.'
You're weak to the ground game.
Tackle.
Thud-crash.
"Huh?"
It was Hyundo who went tumbling across the floor. The skeleton soldier was nowhere in front of him. The bony bastard had used Hyundo's own back as a vaulting horse and leapt clean over him.
Toying with him. It was humiliating. Like getting nutmegged in a soccer match. No — worse.
Tsk-tsk.
The skeleton wagged his index finger.
'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice — bring it on.'
"DIIIE, you bag of bones!"
Hyundo raged like a dog chasing a cat, and the skeleton soldier scurried around like a cat evading one.
Angry. So angry. Hyundo suddenly remembered a day from his childhood — a whole afternoon of tag with his friends where he'd been "it" from start to finish.
Heat flooding to the top of his skull, Hyundo snatched the pickaxe back up, whirled it around, and even hurled it. Obviously, it missed.
"UAAAH! Damn it..."
The skeleton soldier's jaw gaped wide open.
"Are you LAUGHING?"
Whoosh... Hyundo caught his breath. This wasn't working.
The silver lining was that the skeleton never attacked him. He only dodged. And hidden in that fact was the answer.
'That skeleton is reading my attacks.'
Every single attack so far had been straight and predictable. He'd only managed to catch the guy the first time because he'd pulled a sneaky surprise tackle. So there was exactly one answer left.
Trick him.
"Here I come."
Hyundo closed the distance calmly. Sloppy form, but still — jab, jab, straight. Then the tackle.
And sure enough, the guy would vault over his back again.
Tap.
Just as predicted. The moment the skeleton planted a hand on his shoulder to vault over—
Hyundo dropped low and snatched that bony wrist out of the air.
Success.
The skeleton soldier crashed to the floor, and Hyundo didn't waste the opening — he climbed on top of the guy's ribcage.
"Ready to meet your end?!"
He rained down punches. Thud. One straight to the skull. The skull caved in, and the skeleton was forcibly unsummoned.
So unsatisfying. He'd wanted a few more hits in!!
"GRRR, that was infuriating!"
Doosik spoke up.
"How about this time?"
"Hyung-nim, could I go one more round?"
"No — did your experience go UP or not?"
"Ah. Status window."
EXP: 30,468 / 500,000
"Oh?"
"It went up?"
"Yes! Whoa! A hundred... a whole 100 points! That's like a hundred barnacles! Thirty leeches! Wait, hold on — is that actually easier...?"
"So it works."
"Hyung-nim! Please, just one more summon!"
You little punk, you're trying to level up off MY skeletons!
Envious. So envious. Where else in the world would you find a sweet deal like this?
Turns out I was the honey pot all along!
"Summon."
Skeleton No. 13 reappeared, and he and Loui began sparring again. One thing had changed this time: Loui refused to drop the pickaxe. But his sloppy movements kept grating on my nerves.
"Hold it. Stop."
At my word, No. 13 froze instantly —
Crack.
And Loui, that little weasel, brought his pickaxe down on No. 13's skull...
Pssshhh...
"YESSS!!"
He did that on purpose. The guy who'd gone feral hunting leeches — of course his eyes would wander to a target that paid out way more experience.
I felt like someone had jammed a straw into the top of my head.
Ahem. "Summon."
No. 13 reappeared, an expression of pure indignation written across his face.
"The way I see it, Loui, you need proper training before you go chasing experience points."
I was a little bitter about him slurping up all the honey anyway.
"Training..."
But at that word, Loui trembled all over.
'He's... acknowledging me as one of his own?'
"No. 13."
Snap.
As always, No. 13 dropped into his posture of obedience — one knee on the ground, one hand brought across his chest. And out of nowhere, Loui copied it.
'What a weird kid.'
It reminded me of what Tes-hyung used to say — how he couldn't figure out what went on in the heads of kids these days.
And we're only three years apart. Who knew a generation gap could feel this wide.
"Ahem. Loui, is the pickaxe your main weapon?"
"Yes, sir! I'm a Pickaxe Expert. My Constellation even granted me a trait for it."
"I'm sorry, what?"
Ugh. The bitterness.
And what had the Skeleton Star ever given me, huh? No trait, nothing.
Oh wait. Right, I got Fortitude.
Sorry. My bad.
Still, what on earth were my other two traits, Skeleton and Monarch? The curiosity could wait.
I handed No. 13 the pickaxe I'd been using.
"No. 13. Take this."
He accepted it with the reverence of a subject receiving a royal gift, then bowed all the way down to me. The skeleton soldiers were good at plenty of things, but nothing they did filled up my self-esteem quite this spectacularly.
"No. 13. From this moment on, you are the drill instructor."
After saying it, I quietly waited for the Skeleton Star to react. You never know — it might trigger an evolution.
But perhaps there wasn't enough of a story built up yet. No reaction.
Aw.
"From now on, you will train Loui systematically. Turn him from a Pickaxe Expert into a Pickaxe Master."
No. 13 turned to look at Loui, and then...
Hoooh...
"Hey. Did you just SIGH at me?"
Loui, standing beside him, blew up on the spot. No. 13 ignored his outburst entirely.
— As the Monarch commands.
He accepted my order.
From that point on, the dynamic between Loui and No. 13 changed completely. Every time Loui swung his pickaxe downward, No. 13 stopped him mid-motion and corrected him on proper vertical-chopping form.
'Vertical chops. 100 reps.'
"U-um, hyung... I can't understand a word the instructor is saying..."
At a loss over No. 13's sign language, Loui appealed to me for help. I glanced sideways and spoke.
Payback's a bitch...
"Vertical chops. 1,000 reps."
I looked away from No. 13's gaze before he could catch my eye.
But Loui didn't complain. Not once did he cut corners — he completed all 1,000 reps, and every time his form broke down, No. 13 corrected it on the spot.
"Hah. Hah."
By the time that simple drill was over, morning had already broken.
Bzzzt—
Eight o'clock. A text message arrived.
"Oh!"
I shot up from my seat.
It's here. Myyyyy premium chair.