The Convenience Store Clerk's Delusion

I am a man of true grit. Even in the dead of winter, I wear a padded jacket on top but only shorts below. Of course.

Whoosh~ "Achoo! Ughhh... Shouldn't have gone out in just shorts. It's fucking freezing!"

It'll be March soon. I'd strutted out in nothing but shorts, flaunting my macho pride and tattooed-man swagger, but my exposed legs felt like they were about to turn into frozen pig's trotters from the late-winter wind.

"Ahem. Still, a man has to have his pride! No retreating now! Only forward!"

Something occurred to me belatedly. Back during military cold-weather training...

"Corporal Park, I think I'm gonna die from the cold!"

"Shut up! This is the rear area, it's only three degrees below zero! You some kind of base bitch? Quit your damn whining! Want me to smack you with the rifle butt so you warm up? Huh?!"

I think there was an incident like that. Anyway, what's the current temperature in Seoul...

"Hoooooeh~ Minus six degrees? That's literally twice as cold as cold-weather training?!"

Macho-man declaration officially withdrawn. Wearing shorts at six below isn't macho, it's just insane! Yeah, yeah!

That said, the convenience store was right in front of me now.

According to my search back home, the nearest convenience store was a fifteen-minute walk away. There was actually one inside the apartment complex that would've taken less than five minutes, but since my goal was to understand the ecology of this world, I'd deliberately chosen the farther one.

And after enduring the late-winter cold for those fifteen minutes, I'd managed to observe a few things.

"Let's see... women here, women there, and over there is a man. Hmm, yeah, there really are fewer men."

They'd said the male-to-female ratio was one to two, and sure enough, there were noticeably fewer men on the streets than women. On top of that...

"Aww, baby~ I'm so cold♡"

"Haaah haaah, is our little cutie cold? Then this tattooed lady can't just stand by! Here, wear this!"

Aaaargh! Just hearing it made my own tattoo power drop! Some bear-sized dude was acting all cutesy toward a woman who was presumably his girlfriend, his pronunciation completely mangled like there were holes in his tongue.

What was even scarier was that our bear buddy looked like he'd escaped from the circus—his fierce face was slathered in thick makeup!

'Aaaagh! My eyes?! I'll pay for the ones I didn't see, ugh!'

What was even more ridiculous was the woman. In the world I originally came from, she had the kind of beauty that could've had a boyfriend, a second, and a third—stringing men along like dried croaker fish on a line. Yet here she was, melting at the circus-escapee Joker makeup on her bear boyfriend, taking off her own long padded coat to give it to him.

'Lady, with a face like that, go find a better man! And how is that bear even supposed to fit into the long coat you were wearing?!'

No matter how true it is that love knows no borders, this wasn't a human-to-human relationship. This was a live-action Beauty and the Beast!

If it had just been that one couple, I could've laughed it off as the girl's weird taste. But it wasn't.

"Aww~ My hands are freezing~"

"Your hands are cold? Here, wear my gloves!"

"No no. Cold water has its proper order, where do you think you're going, junior?! Come on, forget those gloves and wear this senior's gloves instead?"

A goblin-looking guy so skinny his cheekbones jutted out dramatically—like he'd also escaped from the circus—was arguing with another man over whose gloves to donate.

"Oh my~ Isn't this the new bag that came out from Mer-mes this year? Did you buy it for me, big sis♡"

"Of course~ Big sis worked two whole months on the labor site just to buy it for our little OO♡"

"Wow, thank you♡ As expected, only big sis ever thinks about me~"

"Hehe~ Right, right! That's how much big sis thinks about our OO! So, OO, big sis booked a nice romantic hotel for tonight..."

"Haa... Big sis. Didn't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I tell you last time? I'm going to stay pure until marriage."

"I-I know! Of course I know~! I just meant we'd hold hands, just hold hands and stay together!"

"Sorry. Physically, when a woman's body parts touch me, it feels a bit unpleasant... But since it's you, big sis, I'm willing to be with you like this, you know? You understand how I feel, right?"

"Fuck, getting laid once is so goddamn hard..."

"W-what did you say? What did you just say, big sis?!"

"N-nothing~! I was just saying our OO is so cute, hahaha..."

Compared to the circus-escapee guys, this one was relatively normal. A man who was just a tiny bit—literally a sheet of paper's difference—more handsome than average had a woman wrapped around his finger, playing right into his fishing pond.

"Hey hey, look, your girlfriend's walking by, kekeke~"

"What the hell are you saying! That's your girlfriend! Damn it, she made eye contact because of your voice, now I'm in a bad mood!"

"When you're in a bad mood, what do you do?"

"Tteokbokki and malatang!"

A group of guys mocking a girl who, by my standards, was quite pretty.

Hey, you bastards! What the hell is tteokbokki and malatang for guys?! If you're a real man, the national rule is a hot bowl of soup with chewy sundae in it!

"Sigh~ Listen to this, OO's dad. Can you believe it? Our wife was hiding emergency money!"

"Oh my, oh my~ Why do all women do that? They say they'll never let their hands touch water before marriage, but once they have a kid they refuse ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to lift a finger around the house!"

"Exactly~ Once the baby's born, that's it. Tell your wife who's just come home from work to play with the kid for a bit and she acts like it's the end of the world. 'Don't you men know how ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hard women's jobs are? You just leave the kid at daycare and rest, don't you?' The complaints never end! They have no idea how tough childcare and housework are!"

A bunch of middle-aged men in a cafe with the heater blasting, badmouthing their wives.

Hey, uncles. Just like your wives said, you left the kids at daycare and you're sitting here resting right now, aren't you?!

"Yeah, I think I get the picture now."

In the world I came from, women held the initiative in relationships between men and women. Here, it seemed men held the initiative. Up to that point, it made sense since gender roles, chastity norms, and physical capabilities were all reversed. I'd thought the one-to-two ratio wouldn't make it too extreme, but it looked like the women were actually clinging to men even harder than in those extreme one-to-ninety-nine or one-to-twenty scenarios.

"Otherwise, they wouldn't be so desperate for those circus-freak inhuman creatures."

I'd wondered if the average appearance of men in this world might be quite handsome after seeing the face of this body's original owner, but that wasn't the case at all. Seeing them slather on makeup that didn't suit them at all, it seemed like this world had received a downward patch rather than an upward one.

"Alright, I've got a rough grasp of things. Time to buy some cola and head back. I'm gonna freeze to death, brrr."

The cold was one thing, but ever since a little while ago, the number of women staring at me had increased. A lot. And that was honestly making me pretty nervous.

'Those eyes look like they're about to fire off eggs and get me pregnant. Eek!'

I turned my steps toward the convenience store that was now right in front of me.

"Good grief, a woman my age working at a convenience store, and with such a gloomy face, but she still knows how to recognize pretty things, heh heh!"

I was about to open the door when an orc-like man came out spouting nonsense, so I waited a moment and slipped through ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the gap he'd left open.

And when I saw the part-timer that even the orc guy had called gloomy-looking...

'She does look a bit gloomy, but she's not bad at all. He's being too harsh.'

Maybe it was because I'd come in through the door the orc man had left open. The woman at the counter hadn't noticed the new customer at all. She was completely absorbed in her smartphone, head buried in it.

I'd worked part-time at a convenience store for a month or two back when my sponsorships dried up and my parents stopped giving me allowance, telling me to get out of the house. So I knew the drill. I quietly avoided the part-timer's eyes, intending to let her rest a little, and headed for the shelf where the cola should be...

"Fuck... Fuuuuck!!"

Oh dear, that startled me?! A sudden loud curse exploded from the counter.

'How hard must it have been for her to react like that. Yeah, if I were working part-time and some orc woman came in saying shit like that, I'd probably lose it too!'

As a former convenience store guy myself, I felt a wave of sympathy first.

'Energy drinks are on 1+1. Yeah, I should buy one of those too and give her a can to cheer her up.'

I reached for the cola can that had been my original goal, along with one of the 1+1 energy drinks on the shelf, when...

'Huh? It said 1+1, but there's only one can left on the shelf?'

Well, sometimes customers didn't realize it was a promotion and only took one, throwing off the count. In those cases, you just told the part-timer and they'd bring more from the warehouse. Might as well grab it now.

"E-excuse me."

I tried to speak in a dignified voice befitting a real man, but the heater must've been turned up way too high. The hot wind blew my bangs around, making me sound like a total pushover.

"C-customer?!"

Only after I spoke did she finally realize a customer had come in. She jumped in surprise and tore her eyes away from her smartphone.

"I-I'm so sorry, customer! What were you, what were you looking f—"

"I'm not really looking for anything specific. You just looked like you were having a hard time, so... These are on 1+1, so please have one~ Oh, and since there's only one left on the shelf, do you have more in the warehouse? I'd like to pay for these too, hehe~"

I didn't know why she froze up after looking at my face while I was talking, but since there was no system message popping up saying I'd encountered a targetable heroine, she was probably just an extra character. So I smiled comfortably and slid the cola can and the energy drink across the counter toward her.

And that was when I shouldn't have...