Chapter 48
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 48
Chapter Title: Illness in the Midst of Fire - 1
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I spent the entire day replaying the footage.
With records from up to the 60th floor stacked layer upon layer, it took a long time even without pausing.
Ellie rubbed her tired eyes with the back of her hand and started dozing off.
She could have just slept comfortably, but she shook her head, refusing to give in until the end.
"What have you been writing since earlier?"
"The people I traveled with. Their names, and this and that."
My first death had been on the 10th floor.
Coincidentally, my 100th death had been around the 60th floor.
After that, how many more times had I died? How much time had passed?
Humans can't even fully remember yesterday after just a day.
I had repeated cycles, selecting and recruiting those closest to the right answers, but that meant ties with the original companions inevitably broke.
If I didn't write them down like this, I'd forget them again later, and I couldn't keep asking Seo Ji-woo for the camera every time.
"It makes me a little nostalgic. Back then, you could really feel that I was enjoying the tower."
"Didn't you say you had no intention of climbing the tower anymore..."
"You can only enjoy it when you don't know anything. Now I know it's impossible."
I'd died gruesome deaths and felt disappointment in comrades, but in the early cycle footage, there was clearly a drive for improvement.
At some point, only the goal of advancing to the next stage lingered in my mind.
Once I learned what was needed for the next floor and the necessity of painful repetitions, enjoyment became impossible.
Even if reaching the tower's end was blocked, if the process felt fun, there'd be no need to stop.
Now, I couldn't look at the tower with eyes full of adventure like back then.
Even if I wanted to, it was impossible without fully revealing my memories.
Let's end reminiscing about the past here.
Now it was time to decide on the third request.
I'd already decided what to ask for, but after finishing the second, I started to waver.
"Ellie."
"Yes?"
"What do you think about the saying 'a picture of rice cake'?"
Even to the out-of-left-field question, Ellie rested her chin on her hand and pondered before answering.
"Are you talking about an illusion you can see?"
"An illusion you can see with your eyes."
"Is a picture you can't eat meaningful? To someone who's starved for days, it would just make the hunger worse."
She added detailed explanations.
Partly hoping for the answer I wanted.
"But if that picture is the only place where you can't even see the shape of rice cake anymore, anywhere else."
"Hmm, well. I still think it wouldn't change anything."
"Someone who's tasted rice cake before and still loves it. If that person starts gradually forgetting the taste and appearance in their memories, wouldn't having even a picture be better than poison?"
Her response slowed to my deliberate, biased scenario setup.
I just waited without urging.
"That person can absolutely never eat rice cake again?"
"Yeah. Absolutely."
"Then my answer remains the same. The picture is poison that only increases hunger."
So resolute.
Thanks to that, the decision became easier instead.
"Was that question just now a metaphor comparing yourself to the nostalgia for rice cake from the past?"
"Not exactly. In my case, if I really want to, I could eat bread even if it's not rice cake."
Due to the loophole in my trait, I couldn't return to the past on the 1st floor, but I could force myself to want to climb the tower.
Anything was possible except what the tower forbade, and as I'd said before, erasing memories was possible too.
If I forgot what my trait even was and erased all memories of climbing the tower, I might be able to envision an adventure-filled future again.
I could eat it if I wanted, but I just chose not to because I knew it was bread rotten to the core.
"I thought of another use for the camera. Besides showing the tower's inner life to the outside or replaying past recordings like this."
"What is it?"
"You've already experienced it. Just now, while watching with me."
What the tower forbids.
Unlike adventurers, residents can't leave their assigned floors.
"The 6th floor, 10th floor, 11th floor. Even the 60th floor. We can now capture footage of spaces they can absolutely never step into."
"True, but isn't it much the same as the first use?"
"It's a bit different from the relationship between inside and outside the tower."
The difference between one-way and two-way.
I could show 1st floor footage on the 60th floor, or 60th floor footage on the 1st floor.
Meaning it could serve as a medium for inter-floor communication.
The difference between possible and impossible.
One could be tempted into the tower by footage, but residents couldn't go there no matter what appeared.
Only now did Ellie grasp the hidden meaning.
"Just like you said, it's a picture of rice cake. And the person who wanted to eat the rice cake..."
Two voices brushed past my ears.
"I miss them so much, wondering how they're living. If I were an adventurer instead of a guard, I would have gone with them too..."
"Sorry for forgetting. I miss you."
As per Ellie's opinion, the third request would become an unquenchable hunger.
If it's rice cake you can't eat, not even showing the picture would be happier.
That was the happiness of ignorance.
"Is a metaphor just a metaphor? A problem I decided on simply until moments ago now feels emotionally heavy and hard to decide carelessly."
"A rational judgment based purely on logic is probably correct."
"You're deciding not to go with the original plan?"
"That seems right."
I emptied the cup.
"Thanks. Having someone to confide in makes complicated thoughts unravel easily."
"No problem. If you have worries, don't suffer alone—come see me anytime."
After unraveling all the secrets of my trait post-quest, chatting with Ellie afterward had become much more frequent.
With regression revealed, what was left unspeakable?—that kind of thinking.
"I love these one-on-one talks too."
"Me too. Thanks to you, I get to enjoy delicious tea like this."
"Yes. I like it. Me too."
The tea was too hot to drink quickly, turning both our faces red.
By the way, this tea was a new flavor I'd never tasted before.
I returned the camera to Seo Ji-woo.
"You didn't touch the contents, right? If even one is deleted—!"
"I told you, I just watched."
"...Fine, for now."
Normally, it would be time for the third request,
"What, you can just leave?"
"I had something in mind, but I think it's better not to."
"What. Lame."
Meaning, the director no longer had reason to stay on the 1st floor.
I'd given all immediately needed info, so now contact the guild master, leak more optimized routes, and manipulate speed to taste.
I'd still need to visit tower residents occasionally.
"Lots to do. If you need 62nd floor info, I'll come down then, but no idea when."
"Doesn't matter if it takes long for me. I'll be here anyway."
"Yeah. We're not the type to meet often, right? Nothing good about that."
Just before boarding the gate to the 2nd floor, Seo Ji-woo turned his head.
"Ah. Not exactly a third request, but I'll say it anyway."
"What?"
"The guards here seem underpaid. They even gather and deliver themselves."
Referring to Koon?
Looks like he'd dug around while I had the camera.
"What. You haven't checked since then? Such overflowing trust."
"..."
"If I had, would I have taken you all the way like Sua without dying? You weren't lacking ability."
The director left after having his say.
"He's gone? That guy's left?"
"Haven't seen him in ages?"
"I was dodging him for days, heart pounding like I was dying."
Only after Seo Ji-woo left did Sua belatedly crawl out.
She hadn't heard the conversation just now?
This from the girl who'd eavesdropped on my private talks with Ellie from afar.
"Huh? Why stare like that?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
I'd spotted Sua wandering the village occasionally.
She'd been stuck with the director unavoidably for a while, so whenever we crossed paths, she'd hurriedly hide or flee.
Of course, she'd spent most of her time rolling around in her room.
One left, and another returned.
An adventurer I'd passed info to, like Seo Ji-woo.
"Rien?"
Rien still had the nameless sword at her waist.
Shiny brighter in the sunlight, she'd properly reinforced the weapon as advised.
Spotting me, she ran straight over.
"Senior. Long time no see."
"Back means you cleared up to the 11th floor?"
"So much to say, but I have to ask this first."
Rien held out the nameless sword ahead.
"The enchanter on the 11th floor you mentioned recognized this sword. And the name sounded familiar."
"..."
"Mariel, why is that person on the 11th floor? The 1st and 11th floors are different, right? How, how is that possible?"
She hurled questions in confusion.
"You said she's Master Craftsman Harman's wife. A resident who's not an adventurer can't go to other floors, so why is she there?"
"..."
"You knew, senior?"
Time to tell the story I'd put off.
The unfinished story.
- ｢Illness in the Midst of Fire - 1｣
- Subtitle ｢Master Craftsman - 10｣