Chapter 30
Chapter 30
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: The Homeowner's Etiquette Lesson
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“Kukuku... Cowardly empire dogs. Pissing themselves and fleeing at the mere sight of our flag.”
Daroa’s vanguard captain,
the Necromancer Varkas wore a satisfied smile as he swirled his wine glass.
The stench of rotting corpses vibrated on the wind.
Atop a hill overlooking the gruesome landscape.
The thousands-strong undead legion under their command
writhed about, blackening the border like ink.
The empire’s border fortress spread out before his eyes was utterly deserted,
empty as if not even a single rat remained.
Silent ramparts with not a single torch flickering.
“General, a report from the scouts.”
His adjutant came running up in a fluster and dropped to his knees.
“The border guards abandoned their weapons and fled into the forest.
They left all their food and supplies behind and just bolted with their lives.”
“Hmm, just as expected.”
Varkas smirked wickedly, stroking his coarse beard.
“Of course. Didn’t the tyrant Darcor turn the imperial palace into a sea of blood?
No soldier wants to die a dog’s death under a mad emperor.”
The empire had rotted to its core.
Rumors swirled of the emperor gone insane, conducting bloody purges every night.
Loyal retainers beheaded and hung from the walls,
the national treasury squandered and scraped bare.
That was the intelligence.
Varkas was convinced.
A perfectly set table—just needed to pull up a chair.
“Whole army, drink and revel to your heart’s content tonight. At dawn, we march and offer the empire’s heart as sacrifice!”
“Waaaaaaah!”
The Daroa soldiers’ cheers shook the night sky.
The men lowered their guards and cracked open the booze barrels.
Victory might as well have been set in stone.
Varkas returned to his tent and began drafting his premature victory dispatch.
To the capital in as little as three days.
No real resistance in between.
‘Saintess Chloe? Hmph. Before that wench’s prayers even reach the heavens,
I’ll rip out her heart first.’
Varkas raised his glass and downed the red wine in one gulp.
“Sweet.”
Just like the empire’s blood.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ “Yaaawn... Bored to death. These empire cowards have no pride, just tucking tail.”
The darkest hour before dawn.
The sky just before daybreak was dyed a hazy purple.
A Daroa sentry guarding the camp outskirts yawned his jaw off.
“Tell me about it. Bunch of pushovers.”
His fellow soldier chuckled in agreement—
when
whoosh.
A strange sound mingled in with the cold night breeze.
“Huh? Didn’t you hear something just now?”
“Nah? Probably just the wind.”
“No. Something from above...”
The sentry craned his head up to the sky.
In that instant, his pupils began shaking violently.
“Wh-what?”
Stars were raining down from the night sky.
No.
Too big for stars.
Too close.
The soldier rubbed his eyes again,
but the stars in the night sky were growing larger.
Shoooooom!
Not just one.
One, two, three...
Dozens of glowing orbs plummeted from overhead.
“Meteor shower? No, what the hell...”
Just before they struck the ground.
The sentry instinctively realized.
The true nature of those beautiful lights.
“A-ambush!!!”
His scream tore out at the same moment—
BOOM! Explosions rocked the camp everywhere, blinding
white flames erupting like mushroom clouds.
“Gaaaah!”
“Wh-what is it! The fire won’t go out!”
“My arm! My aaaarm!”
Eyes-searing pure white, sacred flames.
Concentrated holy power crystals that incinerated all evil on contact.
A carpet bombing of holy water bombs.
Sizzle!
The undead legion melted down without even a scream.
Bones and flesh dripped like ice cream, belching foul smoke.
“G-General! Disaster! H-holy water’s pouring from the sky!”
Varkas burst from his tent, speechless at the sight before him.
It was hell on earth.
Daroa’s proud undead legion,
struck by the holy water rain, bubbled and dissolved into white puddles in seconds.
“H-holy water? How the hell is it falling from the sky?!”
He’d seen countless battlefields over decades.
Holy water dropping from the heavens?
Never once.
As Varkas stood dumbfounded, trying to grasp the situation—
a bright, cheerful voice rang out crystal-clear over the chaotic battlefield.
“Good morning! Sleep well, Daroa pals?”
All eyes turned skyward.
Above the smoke and explosions choking the air.
“Kyahahahaha! Morning gift—nice and toasty, right? Time for a steam bath!”
A purple-haired witch astride a broom
flipped through the air with an innocent grin.
“That’s the real deal, top-shelf holy water. Pure concentrate, no water cut. Be grateful!”
⚡ Tower Master Veronica ⚡ It was Tower Master Veronica.
She hurled holy water bombs from her bag like they were candy,
ecstatic.
BOOM. Boom-boom!
“Bl-block it! R-raise defensive barriers!”
Varkas bellowed, veins bulging on his neck.
But the calamity wasn’t coming from the sky alone.
BOOM.
Dead center of the camp.
A massive pillar of dirt erupted with a heavy thud.
Overwhelming weight, like a meteor strike.
From the thick dust cloud, a small shadow slowly rose.
Piercing the hazy dirt,
a petite girl revealed herself.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ “Miiine.”
The girl’s eyes gleamed not with battlefield bloodlust,
but a different, sticky madness.
The girl gulped and muttered like a spell.
“Allll mine.”
It was Hero Eris.
Her gaze swept over the panicked Daroa soldiers.
Walking bags of gold.
“Outta the way, all mine! I called dibs first!”
Fwosh.
Eris kicked off the ground and launched forward.
“Gurk.”
A Necromancer’s head soared into the air.
“Okay, one banked.”
“Y-you crazy brat!”
Daroa soldiers charged, spears leveled.
Eris swung her holy sword like a club, batting them aside.
Clang, claaang.
⚔ Holy Sword ⚔ Hey, kid! Slash it—slash! Why do you keep swinging me like a club? I'm a holy sword! The holy sword wailed,
but all Eris heard was the jingle of gold coins.
“Shut it! Less yapping, more killing!”
In the midst of that hellish battlefield.
Clack, clack.
Saintess Chloe, clad in her saintess robes, strode gracefully right into the heart of the fray.
Bible in one hand,
heavy flanged mace in the other.
“Now, now, Daroa sisters. No need to panic—line up nice.
Free express tickets to the goddess await.”
Splat!
A soldier flew back amid the crunch of shattering bone.
She casually rifled through the fallen enemy’s pockets,
expertly pocketing spoils.
“Oh my, pure gold? Can’t have you losing this—I’ll hold onto it.”
“Wh-what the hell are you?!”
“What else? First time seeing a saintess?”
Chloe beamed and swung her mace.
Crack!
“One more away to the goddess.”
The saintess’s mace cleaved a Necromancer’s skull cleanly in two.
She shook the blood from her weapon and shouted urgently.
“Kid—er, Hero! One o’clock. See the robe with the snake embroidery?”
“Yeah? That old guy?”
“Yep, total exec vibe. At least a hundred gold.”
“H-hundred gold?! I’m on it!”
Eris’s eyes lit up.
She veered toward the exec-level Necromancer
and launched again.
Holy water rained from the sky like a downpour.
On the ground, the adorable little girl and saintess tore through the field.
Varkas couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Th-this... impossible...”
Dark magic failed utterly.
The saintess’s wide-area purification spells neutralized it,
and the kid’s wild sword swings shredded barriers like paper.
‘Wh-where did these monsters come from?!’
The tide turned in an instant.
Daroa soldiers and undead scattered in blind panic.
“N-no... To rabble like this?!”
As Varkas reached trembling for his staff—
whoosh.
Through the roaring tent fires.
A man emerged, parting the thick black smoke.
Gold epaulets gleaming in the moonlight.
Jet-black cape billowing over his black uniform.
Eyes flickering red, as if devouring all the battlefield’s madness.
The empire’s tyrant, Emperor Darcor.
Step. Step.
With each footfall, the air grew heavy around him.
As if the very space on the battlefield bent toward him.
Varkas instinctively staggered back.
That was the bastard.
The root of this insane turn.
“Wh-what the hell are you?!”
Varkas screamed, voice quaking.
The man tilted his head instead of answering.
His blazing red eyes pierced Varkas indifferently.
‘Ugh... Smoke’s stinging my eyes to hell.’
Darcor was inwardly choking back tears.
‘Cape’s probably covered in ash. Edel’s gonna nag again.’
The dramatic entrance went as planned,
but he’d miscalculated the wind direction.
“Who else.”
He leveled his greatsword at Varkas.
Red mana wafted from the blade tip like heat haze.
“The homeowner.”
“H-home...owner?”
“You knock when entering someone’s house, right? Manners and all.”
Darcor smirked.
“Looks like you lot could use some home training.”
Vwooom!
Ferocious killing intent erupted from Darcor’s body.
The nearby flames even flickered and died down.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙ Target: Villain (A-Rank) Daroa’s vanguard captain, Necromancer Varkas. The tyrant’s instinct awoke in his mind, craving blood.
Darcor twisted his lips and whispered low.
“Class is in session. Etiquette lesson starts now.”