Chapter 28
Chapter 28
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 28
Chapter Title: Party Formation Complete
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"Mmm..."
Sunlight poured dazzlingly into the morning.
Eris opened her eyes to the soft sensation enveloping her entire body.
Instead of the hard straw and biting chill pressing against her back,
a fluffy, top-grade down comforter cradled her gently.
"Hehe, i-is this heaven? Mom, I'm in heaven. Come quick, Mom."
What lingered at the tip of her nose wasn't the musty mold stench
but a fragrant lavender aroma.
In her hazy, half-asleep state, Eris giggled foolishly
and pinched her cheek.
Pinch.
"Ow!"
The pain was all too real.
It wasn't a dream.
In that instant, memories of the previous night crashed into Eris's mind like a storm.
The uncle she'd mistaken for a back-alley thug.
The easy mark who'd tossed her a heavy pouch of gold coins.
The man she'd smacked on the back, spat half-hearted insults at,
and treated like a common thief.
And that man was the Emperor?
"C-crazy. What have I done?!"
Eris clawed at her hair and screamed.
"Calling His Imperial Majesty a thug! Not content with fleecing him, I treated him like a thief too. Th-this is... d-definitely the death penalty..."
She yanked the blanket over her head and flailed wildly.
⚔ HOLY SWORD EXCALIBUR ⚔ Hey, kid! Sun's high in the sky and you're still sprawled out? If you're awake, shouldn't you pay respects to your master first? Am I your personal alarm clock? And earlier, I saw fingerprints on the blade? Do you know how sensitive the edge is? Wipe it right now with the finest cloth. Polish it until it sparkles! A snappy voice rang out from beside the bed.
The holy sword Excalibur.
It scolded Eris in its usual arrogant tone.
Eris's eyebrow twitched.
She already felt like she was as good as dead.
And now this pile of scrap metal had to screech right next to her.
"Please, just shut up. I'm about to be executed, and you're worried about polishing?"
Eris desperately wanted to hurl the chatty holy sword out the window right that instant.
'If it weren't the holy sword...'
She barely suppressed the urge and yelled.
⚔ HOLY SWORD EXCALIBUR ⚔ What did you say? Shut up? This brat dares speak to the national treasure holy sword like that?! Bang.
The massive door to the guest chamber burst open.
A man in a black uniform strode in with imposing dignity.
Emperor Darcor.
"Kid, sleep well?"
"Eeeeek!"
Eris yelped in terror and yanked the blanket over her head.
She then fled to the corner of the bed at the speed of light.
Just like a hamster spotting a cat.
Darcor chuckled and approached her side.
"What's this? Where'd the kid go who was pointing at me yesterday, calling me crazy?"
At his teasing words, the hamster under the blanket
trembled and sniffled.
"Waaaah... P-please kill me... I-I lost my mind... Please make it quick and painless..."
Blanket still over her head, Eris kowtowed desperately.
Her forehead drilling into the mattress with full force.
Edel, watching from behind, clicked her tongue.
"Your Majesty, the hero is scared out of her wits. Why frighten her into tears?"
She sighed and shot Darcor a glare.
"Wandering over walls without an escort yesterday—no wonder she mistook you for a thief.
You provided the cause yourself, Your Majesty."
"Is that so?"
Darcor shrugged shamelessly.
"Well, whatever. Get up."
He whisked the blanket away with a flourish.
The thoroughly cowed Eris raised her head.
Tears welled up around her eyes.
"Why would I kill you? You've got a mountain of things to slay."
"Eh?"
"Follow me. No time to waste."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ The imperial palace corridor that met Eris's eyes
stretched on endlessly, resplendent beyond measure.
The floor was paved with the finest marble, polished to a mirror sheen,
and the walls proudly displayed gold-framed portraits of past emperors.
Eris trotted after Darcor, letting out endless exclamations of awe.
"Whoa, it's huge."
But her admiration was fleeting.
Dread of the grim fate awaiting her soon overwhelmed everything.
'Where the heck is he dragging me?'
The torture chamber? Or a real execution ground?
Lost in dark imaginings, Darcor asked casually.
"Have you ever met the Saintess?"
"The Saintess?"
Eris's eyes sparkled.
Her fear evaporated in an instant.
Saintess Chloe of the Empire.
The spiritual pillar of all the people, a benevolent mother.
The icon of devotion and sacrifice.
"O-of course! I saw her from afar at the last capital parade."
Eris clasped her hands, her face rapturous.
"She was like an angel. Radiating white light, with that benevolent smile. I was so lucky to lock eyes with her—even fluttered for days, couldn't sleep right!"
To her, the Saintess was more than an idol; she was an object of faith.
The sole light and salt that sustained her grueling life.
"An angel, huh."
Darcor snorted derisively.
"Heh. Yeah? An angel."
His sly chuckle made Eris cock her head.
'Why's he laughing like that?'
Edel, standing nearby, gazed at Eris with pity.
"Our little hero's in for a shock today."
She shook her head.
"Brace yourself."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
Eris blinked, utterly baffled.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Eris had arrived at the imperial training grounds.
In the vast open center,
she momentarily forgot her worries
and spread her arms wide to bask in the pleasant sunlight.
At that moment, a woman parted the dazzling sunlight and stepped forward.
Step. Step.
Her pristine white priestess robes fluttered,
her golden hair sparkling in the sun.
A noble, sacred poise.
She seemed like an angel descended from heaven, halo aglow.
Eris gasped.
'Gasp... S-Saintess! To behold her this close!'
Her heart pounded fit to burst.
The overwhelming holiness made her want to drop to her knees in prayer right then.
"S-Saintess..."
But for some reason, the Saintess's expression was off.
No trace of her signature benevolent, gentle smile—
instead, brows deeply furrowed, face twisted like she wanted to devour someone.
"Haa, Your Majesty!"
Chloe snapped sharply.
"Why do you keep summoning me during peak hours? Today the faithful's wallets... er, devotion was wide open!"
"Eh?"
Eris's pupils quivered.
Wallets? Did she just say wallets?
'Did I mishear? But it sounded like wallets for sure...'
Chloe strode right up to Darcor, undeterred, and confronted him.
"Today's vibe was historic. The noble ladies up front were so moved they were about to drop diamond necklaces into the offering basket."
"Historic?"
"How could you call me at such perfect timing?"
Eris couldn't believe her ears.
"If I don't hit today's sales target, will Your Majesty take responsibility? Tomorrow's the limited-edition new bag release—you know that, right?"
Chloe huffed indignantly.
Sales. Limited-edition bags. Jewelry.
A barrage of utterly mundane, worldly terms.
Not a speck of holiness in sight.
"Ahem."
Edel flushed behind her and cleared her throat awkwardly.
"Saintess. Your word choice... just a bit more... dignified, please. The hero's listening."
"What? I'm just stating facts."
Chloe crossed her arms defiantly.
"And hero? What hero. Where is..."
Edel shook her head with a sigh of resignation.
"Haa..."
Eris's jaw hung slack, unhinged.
My Saintess would never act like that.
That's not the Saintess.
Darcor stifled a laugh at Eris's crumbling composure.
"Don't misunderstand, kid."
He explained kindly.
"The Saintess just loves money. A whole lot."
"......"
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "Greet her. This is the hero."
"Hero? Where?"
Darcor pointed at Eris.
Chloe turned lazily and sized Eris up.
Worn, shabby armor.
Rustic shoes and a babyish face.
Chloe's brow furrowed even deeper.
"Your Majesty, you're joking, right? Dragging in some street rat... kid and calling her the hero?
She looks like her pockets are full of lint."
She turned away, bored.
"K-Kid?! St-street rat?!"
Eris bristled and shouted.
"I-I'm not poor! I've got 100 gold coins in my pouch right now!"
She yanked out the gold pouch from her bosom and shook it boastfully.
Clink!
The clear, crisp jingle of gold coins echoed across the training grounds.
The instant she heard it...
"100 gold coins?"
Chloe's expression flipped like magic.
All irritation vanished,
replaced by the world's most benevolent, saintly smile.
"Oh my, sister—no, our precious hero!"
Chloe seized Eris's hands faster than light.
"Goodness, anywhere sore? Your complexion looks off."
"L-let go!"
"Shall I give you a special blessing prayer? Since you're a new customer... er, hero, I'll discount it."
"N-no thanks!"
"Aw, come on. You know a goddess's blessing can't be bought with money.
Special right now: just 50 gold coins."
"N-no! Get away!"
It was pandemonium.
⚔ HOLY SWORD EXCALIBUR ⚔ Hey, Saintess. Bless me first. God bless! Top-grade holy oil, please. Can't you see how dry my blade is? Even the holy sword dangling from Eris's waist chimed in.
Edel clutched her forehead and let out a deep sigh.
'A materialistic Saintess, a kid hero... and a blabbermouth holy sword to boot.'
Her vision went dark.
"Is this really going to be okay?"
But amid the chaotic mess, one person alone
"They suit each other perfectly."
Darcor grinned with utter satisfaction.
"Perfect. Party formation complete."