Chapter 356
Chapter 356
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 356
Chapter Title: How to Survive as the Second Son of a Magical Noble Family
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Lucas returned here quickly, bringing Narke with him.
“This is our first time meeting while you're awake, sir.”
“…….”
The 98th Batch A Squadron Leader stared at him without a word before speaking softly.
“Congratulations.”
“You too, sir. It feels like we've all come back from the dead, doesn't it? So, why have you come?”
“Do I need a special reason to visit? It's just a greeting. To sincerely congratulate Lord Ascanien on the success of his operation.”
The 98th Batch A Squadron Leader offered a gentle smile.
“It was an honor to fight alongside you in this operation.”
“…….”
Anyone could tell this was no ordinary greeting. Though the 98th Batch Leader wore his usual mask, he was more genuine now than ever. I was witnessing the moment when this man acknowledged him. Lucas, who had tensed up slightly upon hearing those words, opened his mouth.
“Oh.”
“What is it?”
The 98th Batch A Squadron Leader kept his serene expression but sharpened his gaze. It was as if he were wary of whether Lucas was about to say something foolish, but in contrast, the wariness that had clouded Lucas's features melted away like snow in the sun, replaced by a radiant smile.
“I was just surprised to hear such unfamiliar words from you, sir. I'm glad most of us made it back safely this time too.”
Safely back…. Who made it back safely, and who will? To the 98th Batch A Squadron Leader, that might be the textbook response, but to me, it's nothing but false and empty words. Unlike me, struggling to contain a storm of mixed emotions while forcing out words for his sake, Lucas was genuine. The 98th Batch A Squadron Leader before us was the same.
My stomach churns with anxiety that keeps resurfacing despite my efforts to suppress it. Before it could devour me, I shifted my focus elsewhere.
‘…He manages to say it without getting caught, somehow.’
Whether it's Narke's quick transmission or his sharp improvisation. It's an obvious inevitability that the fact his hearing isn't working will reach everyone's ears someday, yet he's desperately defending it.
“…….”
A sudden thought made my mouth go dry again. My attempt to erase the anxiety failed. He wouldn't want to burden me—already exhausted—with all the concern and attention that would come his way. The 98th Batch A Squadron Leader, aware of me and Narke, asked Lucas.
“Could we move somewhere else for a moment?”
“If it's not important, can't we just talk here?”
“…….”
Only then did the 98th Batch A Squadron Leader's lips stiffen slightly. From Lucas's delayed response to our flustered glances, he began to eye everything suspiciously. He'd noticed something was off from the usual.
“It is important.”
“Unless it's an official order, I don't consider it important. What do you think, sir?”
“…….”
At this rude reply, the 98th Batch A Squadron Leader met Lucas's gaze in a staring contest while smiling, then spoke calmly.
“I heard you'll be taking some short-term leave for recovery after your last official duty this week.”
“Me?”
“…? Didn't you request it?”
“Official duty? What's that?”
“That's unrelated to my business, so you'll hear about it later. Anyway, …you won't be able to go home during your recovery, so if you want, you can come to Neustrelitz.”
I let out a short breath.
The invitation to the Mecklenburg-Strelitz castle didn't matter. You won't be able to go home during your recovery… Yes, he knows too. More than just Lord Nikolaus's true identity. The memory from back then stabbed at my throat—the time I belatedly learned that the exchange student from the Farnese family, whom I'd only just met, had heard Lucas's circumstances directly from him.
Now I know. He doesn't make hasty decisions. He thinks it over countless times, crafting the best choice. There's always a reason for his decisions, so it's not my place to worry. Even if not, I knew full well that whatever way Lucas chose to use this man was beyond my authority. Still.
“Ah.”
Color bloomed on Lucas's face. I could see countless calculations flash through his mind in that instant.
“That sounds go— ”
“You have to stay in Bavaria, so Neustrelitz will be difficult.”
It was a separate matter. If his hearing were fine, I'd have let him go, but not now. Even seeing his gaze fixed stubbornly on my lips, even knowing it would eventually spread to everyone, I couldn't just stand by and watch him use this shallow trick to hide it. Regrettably, fortunately.
The 98th Batch A Squadron Leader's eyes turned to me. Narke still wore his enigmatic smile, and soon after—probably relaying my words—Lucas looked at me in surprise. I met Lucas's eyes and continued.
“…….”
“You need treatment. I don't know what Lord Ascanien thinks.”
I had no intention of intervening further. The rest was up to Lucas.
I went to visit the seniors hospitalized in the ICU. A doctor standing in front of their room gave me a brief update.
“Fortunately, their prognosis is good. We've completed the emergency sutures, so if you continue supplying mana, their mana circulation throughout the body should return to normal.”
For something with such a good prognosis, the file he handed over was still full of narcotic painkillers. Yet my excessive worry only fueled my doubts; the doctor's words weren't wrong.
I exchanged brief greetings with the medical staff there and headed back to the Munich Residenz to attend the royal council. The banquet could proceed with just the friends enjoying it. Now it was time to wrap up the remaining matters after the operation.
“How is your friend faring? I heard he can't hear anymore.”
“…….”
It was after the 30-minute council ended, leaving only His Majesty the King and me. Not Nikolaus Ernst, but my friend. So at His Majesty's question, I couldn't be certain of anything. I stared down at my notes and answered curtly.
“I don't know, Your Majesty.”
I thought back to the ICU scene again. In battle, injuries are inevitable. I must end this era of bloodshed in my lifetime. Even if it's just a pipe dream, I have to make it possible. A position reserved for me demanded that I believe in the dream while being more realistic than anyone else.
Thus, I must not get lost in my friend's injury. He was the one building the era I desired, and I had to do the same. Not yet in the era we wanted, we had to endure this one. Yet I remembered the distress flickering in Lucas's eyes, the cheerfulness I rarely saw, the time he endured, and that today's peace was maintained by that pain.
I couldn't tell what was right.
The spring breeze felt like winter's chill. After the council, I leaned on the balcony of the Munich Residenz and looked down at the ground. Narke's voice came from behind, approaching without a sound.
“You always make the same choice.”
“…….”
The banquet hall is downstairs, Narke. I nearly said it but closed my mouth.
Always? Was there ever a more futile word? Even now, as days of "always" shatter and confusion and sorrow overwhelm me, he says I'm the same as him. I couldn't even laugh. In this moment, a torrent of mixed emotions swept over me, along with indescribable shock and anxiety. I didn't even know what choice I'd made. As if reading my thoughts, Narke smiled.
“You've circled around and ended up on the same path again—how can you deny it? What are you worried about? You've always been true to yourself.”
“To hear that on the worst day of my life is surprising.”
“It may be the worst day of your life, but it'll be your best choice. At least you'll think so.”
I looked at Lucas's friend, whom I could never quite pin down from the start and still can't now. Did you glimpse the future alone? I didn't know which version of me he meant, but to me now, it was empty words.
“Narke. I know well that you've helped us and saved countless lives. I'm grateful for your existence. But isn't it dangerous to be certain of a future that hasn't happened? As a priest, are you even giving unwanted confessions?”
“I wasn't trying to wield priestly authority. I just believe I know you a bit better than you know yourself.”
His voice, fragile as if it might scatter in the wind, felt bone-chillingly familiar. I thought it akin to the crucifix etched firmly after discharge. I couldn't define what connected us two disparate souls. I clutched my head.
“Even I barely know myself anymore, but even so.”
“…….”
“Tell Lucas I'll see him tomorrow. Don't overdo it.”
* * *
“Took me forever to find you, man.”
A hand clapped my shoulder. I knew exactly who the owner of that mana bursting from my shoulder was. I silently stared at the red fragments floating in the air. The glowing afterimages, like entering an illusion, lingered whether my eyes were open or closed.
“You said you know how to restore senses, so I put off Neustrelitz—tell me quick.”
Lucas locked the royal training hall door familiarly, tossed his jacket aside, then sprawled on the floor like it was his own home.
“Making yourself at home in someone else's training hall…”
I stopped there and erased my smile. He wouldn't hear. Instead of surrendering to my rollercoaster emotions, I pulled a black box from my bag and handed it to him.
“Hm? What's this?”
“…….”
An artifact I got as a birthday present when I was young. The words hovered on my tongue. Lucas opened the lid, saw the thick journal and quill, and raised an eyebrow. My note lay on top.
[It writes down whatever you say.]
“…There's something like this?! Then I didn't need to be a clXckboard… or a Philip dictation shuttle?”
“For public institutions.”
I'd never trained in lip-reading, but to make it as clear as possible, I mouthed the word slowly, exaggerating. Lucas plopped down cross-legged and nodded at the spot before him.
“Ah…. Yeah. Didn't catch it, but I get it. Let me try this—say something.”
If he could hear, he'd have snorted about how I got a public institution artifact as a birthday gift. Bitterly, he didn't. I placed my hand on the thick leather cover and infused mana. I felt Lucas alternating glances between my mouth and the journal. What should I say? I decided on words I'd practiced countless times before my secretary as a child.
“Hello, Lucas.”
“Whoa, it really writes.”
Lucas grinned at the cursive script appearing in the journal and continued.
“Anyway. I know you took sick leave on your own. Hearing it through the Mecklenburg senior, of all people.”
“Mm.”
“So, while you're on sick leave for a week, I'm stuck in Bavaria.”
“You can go to Neustrelitz if you want.”
Lucas, reading the journal, gaped and looked up.
“…Why? That's not like you.”
“You want me to say stay here?”
“Not really, just surprised our opinions match for once after so long. Whatever you say this time, I'm holing up in Bavaria.”
“Why?”
“Gotta recover my hearing ASAP, right? You said you know how.”
Right, that's why he came. I gestured for him to stand, and Lucas grabbed the journal and rose. Stretching my hand while tilting my head, I said.
“Are your ears weaker than your eyes? They were the first to go.”
“Not really. But do we have to nitpick weaknesses in a situation like this? Normally, you don't voice analysis results.”
“You need to know weaknesses to fix them. So you can get stronger.”
“…Hm? That's enough. You've helped me get plenty strong already.”
Lucas eyed me suspiciously. I reached for the wand holster on my thigh. I saw his mouth drop open.
“Hey, wait. How do you attack without sound…!”
“I can.”
I fought a bishop blindfolded; no way I couldn't. Swallowing those words, I thrust out my wand. The roar from red mana clashing with mine rattled my ears.
* * *
The only light from the glass dome ceiling was moonlight. Night had fallen. Yesterday at this hour, we were in Corvignano. And Lucas and I are still in Corvignano. Or maybe just me.
Breathing rose from the floor. Wiping sweat, I looked at Lucas sprawled as if he'd traded body for soul with the floor.
“…This is your hearing recovery treatment? Twice and I'm off to the afterlife.”
“No way.”
I flipped through the journal he'd tossed—I'd caught it before it hit the floor and set it down carefully—muttering to myself. He wouldn't hear anyway. Lucas mimicked my tone.
“…Expected response. No way, right? Get up. Let's spar first.”
“No way I'd tell you to get up when you're floored from exhaustion.”
When I'd say that, Lucas would always snap, "You call that a response?" He'd often pushed even after I said stop, so it was fair. No reply came. Overwhelmed by the desolation emanating from him, I turned away.
“So why start with training all of a sudden? Normal training won't restore hearing.”
Right, it won't. But before moving for him, I needed to steady my heart first. I couldn't face my irreplaceable friend amid the vortex of intangible thoughts I didn't even grasp. I couldn't drag him into it. For his sake above mine, never.
But now, I needed another excuse. Reasons for one action are often many.
To Lucas looking up at me, I voiced the spell aloud, then opened another page in the journal and wrote directly to show him.
[Did you catch what I just said?]
“Not at all. What'd you say? Say it again.”
Lucas replied, nearly glaring at my lips. I could sense his resolve to catch it this time. Without moving my mouth once, I tapped his shoulder. Mana popped sharply, and familiar healing magic seeped into him. Only then did Lucas snap his fingers with a regretful look.
“Ah, 3 John. Okay…. Just in case, training to read spells, huh.”
“…….”
“…Seriously, train with you and I could make the imperial court without a single sense…”
Lucas snorted with a fed-up expression, then rolled over. Suddenly recalling something, he bolted up, snatched the journal from my hand.
“Ah, while we're at it, my take is—you're infusing mana into those plants in your room and using them like sensors, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Seems inefficient to me. You know we have a duty as society members not to infringe on personal freedoms. And the right not to be infringed upon.”
“On you?”
“…….”
Lucas stared blankly at the words, then burst out laughing and swung the journal.
“…!”
“You little…”
Lucas's sunset-like mana flared vigorously. I dodged by leaning back, captivated by the light before snapping to and laughing. Lucas finally shoved his mana into my shoulder with a thud, grumbling "Ugh." My shoulder stung.
“Leo.”
“Yeah?”
Raising an eyebrow with a gesture, I replied. Lucas, who'd been watching me, slammed his back against the training hall wall, crossed his arms, and shut his eyes as if ready to nap.
“No matter how I think, 17 is creepy as hell…”
“Cre— what? You said that before too—what's it mean?”
I said it knowing he wouldn't hear. No reply. I gazed at the stars filtering through the glass ceiling for a while before speaking.
“I hope things really go back to how they were.”
A response came to the question I hadn't expected an answer to. Lucas whipped his head up and laughed.
“Why do you keep asking that? Huh? Don't wanna give back my hearing?”
No way. That's not my goal. Nor is this question a means to an end.
What do you truly want? I nearly voiced it, then tried pressing it to the quill tip, but in the end, buried it in my heart unspoken.
My gaze drifted lower to the journal glued to his hand. Even when I thought he was asleep, he was reading the words appearing in the darkness. It couldn't be okay. I dared not know the longing and fear for his lost sense.
“Ever tried putting all the sugar cubes in coffee?”
“Nope. That'd probably taste sickly sweet, like death.”
“Same here.”
I recalled the ICU's narcotic painkillers. Corvignano's night and the friend and comrade vanishing before my eyes at the last moment. My thoughts rose to Brandenburg's pool of blood. To Pentaron, Primrose Pass…. Times when, without his inexplicable power, I'd have breathed my last long ago.
A whisper slipped softly through my teeth.
“It'd no longer be coffee—just a lump.”
“Waste of good coffee.”
“Lucas. Are you happy?”
“Suddenly philosophical…”
Lucas laughed, tore his gaze from the journal, and looked at me.
I claim to be your one true friend, but since I'm not you, I don't know what you truly want. Selfishly, though, I know what I truly want.
I don't want you to die. Ridiculous? We're breathing and alive now, knowing uncertain operations await, yet in this moment our eyes meet, because you can turn back time….
My wish shatters powerlessly against that barrier called you.
Right now, more than anything, I want you to survive. An unreachable voice chokes my throat. The results of your countless brushes with death save many, but I want you to live. You, not anyone else, in any form, no matter what, I want you to live, so I….
“…….”
I swallowed the words on my tongue tip. I'll save them for later. Pentaron, Brandenburg, Munich-Prien weren't the end for us, and someday we might truly face the end.
Before the soil of my childhood, the past of my present self, the sole force dismantling all I'd built, I return to square one. I was wrong. Before you, I was all wrong. What I aspired to be, the ideals of the predecessors I chased with swollen dreams, everything I'd upheld—all crumbles beneath the thought that my irreplaceable friend not die.
“Gonna sleep a bit. Napping in the training hall ain't bad.”
After a long silence, Lucas's voice came from the darkness. Another long stretch passed, and gazing at the night sky, I swallowed.
“I don't know why I always feel like a fool before you.”
I want to escape this torment. Would that make me the person I want to be? Paradoxically, I knew escaping you would distance me from myself. This was me. This was how I faced what I wanted to protect in this world. No matter my struggles, ideals and reality differed, and accepting bitter reality's taste was familiar. Only then could I move forward. Today was no different.
“Lucas. Are you okay?”
“…….”
“What went through your mind when all sound around you vanished? Is this just a hiccup that'll fix itself with time for you?”
“…….”
“With dangers piling up on us, does this barely faze you now? No way. My pain renews daily; yours won't dull.”
Night deepened the world's silence. No spring night breeze disturbed us—except your ears blocking my words. Only the operation that took your hearing.
“What will you think the day this danger pierces not just your hearing but your heart? How far are ear and heart? The day the commandeered command and today's medal around your neck cut your breath?”
The doctor's words amid dissolving steam lingered faintly in my mind. His insight and comfort offered no solace. Why?
“Better you breathe in any form than me erecting your gravestone.”
Because I feared beyond your sensory loss. What lay beyond? Today isn't the end. Until breath stops, you'll repeat anything, and I can lose my friend who's become part of my life anytime. I'd always known. Prepared to accept it. Until he lost a sense, that is—and today I realized it was arrogance. Yet thinking I could do anything was arrogance too.
“What I'm saying now isn't different from what I said back in school, or when I faced you in my room. Same words, same situation—might bore you. Me too. Without constant pursuit of improvement, people stagnate unchanged.”
Now's the time to treat you differently. Time to change how I approach you—I'm finally facing it.
“Time to shed my dictatorial stubbornness and admit it. No matter how much I want to keep you with me, you're you. I'm me.”
“…….”
“You wanted free from your brother's grasp, but the death I mean is wholly different from such murder. So…. This question isn't wrong.”
I slowly shifted my gaze from the Milky Way.
“Are you happy, Lucas? Do you find happiness in the peace built burning yourself?”
Thus, I looked at my friend's face gazing at me. In this moment, I offered my friend the best smile I could muster and said quietly.
“Even if you say yes, I can't let you act freely. But to demand you respect my will, I must respect yours too.”
“…….”
“If this truly is your will, I'll have no choice but to save you, whatever comes.”
A searing pain in my hand's back. The sudden, incomprehensible agony wasn't enough to halt my self-reflection. Meeting those steadfast eyes, I said.
“Remember.”
And saw myself reflected in those eyes.
“One life you lose is mine.”
Light, surely belonging to no one—not mine, not Lucas's—rose from below. An inexplicable illusion pierced my flesh like seeping memories.