The Niece's Warmth
Of course. No matter how bold my niece might be, it seems she still can't stand up to our mother.
[Why? Don't want to?]
[It's not that I don't. It's just so sudden.]
I can picture Yerin on the other end of the line, hesitating. [We haven't even cleaned the house yet.]
[What do we do if it's messy? I'll have to clean as soon as I get there.]
Her reply comes quickly, but I know that's not how she really feels. She's become such a good granddaughter that she can't bring herself to tell the truth. After all, who actually likes it when adults show up unannounced? Especially a grandmother as rigid as ours. We're lucky if she doesn't nitpick every little thing and just lets her granddaughter be spoiled for once.
[Should I tell her to come another time?]
[I'm not that terrible of a granddaughter.]
When I probe a little, an emoji of a puppy puffing its cheeks arrives from my niece. [Uncle, when do you finish? Let's go clean together.]
[I'll get there as fast as I can.]
[Promise!]
[Promise.]
Lunch break is still a long way off, but the moment I get back, I'll have to wrap everything up. I need to keep my promise to her. For Yerin's sake, even the most tedious, annoying tasks suddenly feel manageable.
Ding.
While I'm hurrying back to the office, a call comes in from Min-a.
"Oppa. I get how you feel, but what happens if the main character just walks out? Dad's not exactly shy about his old-fashioned lectures. Thanks to you, the whole atmosphere is ruined now."
She wants to rehash what just happened at the table. Like father, like daughter—neither of them cares one bit about my feelings. She tosses out a quick "I understand" as an excuse, then says exactly what she wants to say anyway.
"Yeah. I've heard that same script a thousand times. I don't need to hear it again. It's annoying."
If I try to explain, my head will just start throbbing again. No matter how Representative Choi's prejudice took root, I hate hearing him talk about my niece like that. What more do they want from me? Is it not enough that Mom has to watch Min-a's mood, and I have to watch both of theirs? Now my niece has to read their expressions too? I already know how this ends. In the end, I'll just gnaw at myself and make up some excuse. I'll claim there was urgent work that didn't actually exist, and they'll nod like owners confirming their dog's loyalty. In return, they'll prepare one more snare to tie me down. Oppa did it that time, so you have to listen to me now. They'll drag up some half-forgotten incident and use it to lecture me, to "correct" me with memories.
"Even you know how to say things like that."
"What. Annoying?"
"Yeah. Mm... I guess you're annoyed too. Frustrated."
Whether she's being sarcastic or genuinely surprised, I can't tell. Oh? So our family dog bares its teeth when pushed this far. How interesting.
While rage burns inside me, Min-a's voice stays perfectly calm.
"Dad's always going on about marriage. I understand that too."
"You understand? You understand me?"
"What do you mean by that? Your tone is weird, oppa."
"Shouldn't you be the one trying to understand me properly? You made such a fuss and gave me dirty looks about bringing my niece along, and you call that understanding?"
The veins stand out on the hand gripping my phone. All the anger that's been building every time I see Min-a finally surges up my throat. Everything they've done to make me feel trapped, to keep me from breathing.
"The dinner was the same. You think I don't know? You must have sweet-talked Representative Choi into arranging it."
"Oppa, you're really angry right now. Let's talk later."
"If my niece bothers you that much, why are you even dating me? Who said I was going to raise her forever? If every single thing I do—"
"Oppa!"
Min-a shouts. I shut my mouth too. I don't want to pour out any more emotion either. An uncomfortable silence stretches between us.
Is this... right?
Fighting over every little thing, getting angry, screaming at each other—is that how love is supposed to be completed? Is that how happiness finds us? I don't know. I don't know if this is right, if we should keep hurting each other like this. Maybe I'm just not patient enough. A poor guy with no father is supposed to endure anything to date a rich girl, no matter how hard it is.
"Oppa... I'm sorry if I've made you feel neglected. You know how jealous I get. I keep thinking only about myself and never really consider how you feel."
"Min-a. Let's both just breathe. Have I ever dated anyone besides you? Or am I really such trash that I'd mess with my own niece?"
"No. No, you're not. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, oppa."
"If you don't trust me that much, why don't you just put a leash on me? At least then you'd always be able to see me."
Min-a keeps repeating that she's sorry. I'm too tired to stay angry, so I end it with an exhausted sigh. Even after pouring everything out, I don't feel any lighter. Only sadness fills my chest, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
What would Yerin say?
Suddenly, I miss my niece. I want to tell her everything that's weighing on me, everything that's making me miserable. I know how pathetic I am—leaning on her when I should be the one supporting her—but she's the only person I can think of.
"Haa."
One sigh after another. Even though I know exhaling won't ease the tightness in my chest, I keep sighing. I don't want to go to the office. I don't want to face Min-a there, or her father, or the employees—don't want to be reminded of my place and have it carved into my mind.
"I'm not feeling well... I'm going to take a half day."
In the end, I pull out my phone and lie. It's something I never even did in school. Yerin once said that healthy people calling in sick is malingering, but since I'm actually struggling, it's okay to say I'm tired. So this should be fine.
Nothing feels worth doing. I just want to see my niece. I need her strength. Even a little of her warm light to melt the suffocation in my heart.
"Uncle, you're here? You finished early today?"
"Just called in sick. I needed a break too."
"Such a lazy uncle."
"I've worked hard enough that I can slack off for one day."
I've been lingering in front of Yerin's school, so she spots me right away and comes running over. Her friends hurry after her, offering quick greetings.
"Hello, Yerin's uncle."
"Hello."
I probably shouldn't say this about someone else's precious daughters, but none of them hold a candle to my niece. Is she really that pretty, or have I just got rose-colored glasses on? Maybe both.
"Are you on your way to pick up Grandma?"
"No... not yet. I still have to call and ask when she's coming. Why?"
"Then could you give my friends a ride? They both live in apartments near our place."
"Sure, why not. Get in."
"Thank you!"
Yerin takes the front seat while her friends climb into the back. As soon as the car starts, the three of them chatter nonstop—about classmates breaking up and getting together, new songs from idols, movies they want to see after exams.
I'm glad she looks so bright.
This must be her real self. Not the always-composed version she shows me. Even if it's hard, I hope she can at least smile like this in front of her friends. She grew up way too fast. Sometimes she should be allowed to whine and throw tantrums.
"You said you're the same age as our homeroom teacher, right?"
The topic suddenly swings toward me.
"Ah, yes."
"Oh, you're using honorifics."
"Please speak comfortably, Uncle."
"...... Alright then."
The two girls poke their heads between the seats and keep chattering.
"Don't bother your uncle, you two."
"Why? We can ask, can't we?"
"Right? Isn't that true, Uncle?"
Yerin tries to shush her friends, clearly uncomfortable.
Feels like I'm surrounded by sparrows.
"It's fine if they ask. Why?"
"Well, Yerin showed us your picture at school and the kids didn't believe it. They kept asking if you're really only twelve years older."
"Hmm... Should I show them my ID?"
"It's okay. If they don't want to believe it, they don't have to."
So Yerin goes around showing my picture at school. I can't figure out what's going on in that head of hers. I don't even have a picture of my sister-in-law on my phone.
Min-a's photos are probably the only personal ones. Everything else is work-related. Ah, recently I've started taking pictures of food to show Yerin.
"You said you're getting married too. To a really scary woman."
I glance sideways. Yerin is staring out the window, pretending she didn't hear. Should I be mad that she's been talking about my girlfriend, or grateful because she's probably defending me?
"What? So even following you around doesn't work."
"Are you crazy? I already told you I'm not accepting you as my aunt."
"You never know how things will turn out. But if he's my husband's uncle, what would I call him? Brother-in-law?"
"Shut up. Who decided that?"
So Yerin can curse too. That's unexpected. Thanks to her friends riding along, I'm seeing sides of my niece I never knew existed. I always thought she was so well-behaved in front of me that she'd never say things like that.