Chapter 8
Chapter 8
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: How to Steal the Protagonist's Woman
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-[Hand Skill LV 555]-
Flap flap.
(Me: As expected, a masterpiece that satisfied me. I figured it wasn't ordinary. What a universe-class handjob.)
Shut up...
"Armonia."
[Yes.]
"What kind of number is level 555?"
[I've never seen one myself, so I can't gauge it exactly, but the proxies have a rule that protagonists' talents never exceed 300, no matter how mediocre. There might be exceptions...]
"Why 300 of all numbers?"
[If a skill surpasses 300, it could grow to a level where even proxies can't intervene.]
According to Armonia, exceeding level 300 could let someone craft dimension-leaping artifacts, wield swordsmanship that rends space, or wield magic powerful enough to shatter planets—making them a threat to the proxies.
But the real issue wasn't the threat level. It was the massive loss if an uncontrollable protagonist ever had to be eliminated.
Raising someone to level 300 required an unimaginable amount of Enel.
Collecting that much from a single planet wasn't nearly enough.
Eventually, expenditure would outpace income, so no proxy raised their charges that high.
"So I..."
[I'm sorry. Even I can't fathom what's going on... but.]
"Yeah?"
[Now I think I understand why Suho was summoned with the Enel I offered.]
"Oh, right—you sacrificed it to the gods to call me?"
[Yes, but not just any summoning.]
"How?"
[...It was a gacha pull.]
"..."
Gacha, seriously?
From what Armonia vaguely described, she offered Enel to the gods, and they told her to pick one of ten cards.
"O God! I beseech you to grant me the talent I desire!" (Here, ten cards~ Pick one~) "C-Cards?" (One EX-rank,
four A-ranks, four C-ranks, one F-rank~) "C-Can't I just get an A-rank...?" (Then don't pick~ I'm out~) "N-No!
I'll pick! This one~!" .. .. (Holy shit, congrats~ It's EX-rank~) "Kwaaaah! This is why people do gacha!!!"
-Back to the present-
[...I don't talk like that. And the gods don't converse with us directly. They only give revelations through intuition.]
"What?! You're reading my inner thoughts too?!"
[You projected them deliberately, so I had no choice but to hear.]
Anyway...
"Jackpot. I'm EX-rank... But isn't this a huge problem?"
[What do you mean?]
"If my Hand Skill is level 555, doesn't that mean I could make every woman go crazy for me like this? Progress would grind to a halt..."
Sure, at this level, it could captivate any woman's heart—but I'm a cheater who hates that crap...
[That's a misunderstanding. High skill level means power, but it also includes mastery. You don't just force pleasure indiscriminately; you can bring your partner to exactly the state they desire.]
"Ooh! That's perfect. Starting tomorrow, I'll dial it back. I got too excited last time and went wild."
High level means total control. Nice.
But everything else being level 1 is ridiculous...
"So everything else is 1, and only this one's maxed out?"
[I have no idea how you reached that on your own...]
"Hmm... Let's shelve the mystery for now. We can figure it out later."
[A wise decision.]
I gazed at the sleeping Viola.
She'd passed out from my Hand Skill, but her excitement had subsided. Now she breathed softly in deep slumber.
I lay beside her and offered my arm as a pillow.
I kissed the sleeping Viola.
"Hng... Churp... Hahp..."
Even deep asleep, she reacted instantly to the kiss.
Her sexual trait included kissing, so she started turning toward me mid-sleep as I continued.
"Chup... Haang... More... Churp."
Her face flushed, excitement building.
When I stopped, she settled down again.
"Hng..."
"Armonia, I'm good at this. Wake me if Viola stirs later."
[Understood.]
[Suho.]
"Hm?"
I woke to Armonia's voice.
Viola, staring at me with wide rabbit eyes.
[Viola woke up a moment ago.]
'Ah.'
Viola met my eyes and spoke.
"Where is this?"
"Oh, you passed out suddenly yesterday, so I brought you to my bed."
"Ah... S-Sorry!"
Why apologize? She felt bad for the trouble of carrying her fainted self here.
"Sorry... Because of me..."
Truly an angel.
Soon I'd corrupt her into a fallen one. Heh heh.
"What are you talking about? It's natural between lovers."
"I-Is it?"
"Yeah. And when that happens, you don't say sorry. You do this."
"Hahp!"
I gave Viola a fierce kiss, then sent her home.
After Viola left, I visited the old woman early in the morning.
"You here?"
"Nope. Scram."
"..."
Damn...
Not angry, just annoying.
The old woman issued a no-guest policy from her tiny hut without even showing her face.
We needed to talk to get anywhere.
I brought up a topic from the village meeting I'd eavesdropped on.
"I came to ask about the Hero."
"..."
"And your son."
"...What?"
She reacted.
Her face creased with countless wrinkles as she emerged from the hut.
"Who the hell are you?"
"From beyond the desert."
"Cut the bullshit. Who are you, and how do you know about my son?"
"..."
I spun a tale, embellishing wildly.
I claimed to be secretly dispatched to uncover the Hero's dirty secrets.
No other way to draw out her secrets.
I was just exploiting her trait [Revenge].
"You expect me to believe that...?"
"And..."
"?"
"I'm here to avenge your family too."
"!"
The old woman stared at me in shock.
Armonia chimed in via comms.
[Your lies are getting scarily smooth.]
'Heh, if you don't get caught, a lie's no different from truth.'
[...You're right.]
After pondering with eyes closed for minutes, she opened them with resolve.
"That bastard killed my son..."
"But villagers say your son did something wrong..."
"My son felt sorry for the two of them, so he used to pack food and bring it to them..."
"...My son wasn't up to no good! He pitied them! But that dog...!"
Villagers held her back, time passed.
The Hero kept growing, eventually summoned to the palace.
He built this village because he couldn't always drag his sister around.
"In the process, some died and some left.... Plus, the lord of this region rose in status thanks to that Hero bastard, so he silenced everyone however he could..."
"Not doubting, just confirming—your son really had no ill intent?"
"Speak some sense! You think he'd pack a bunch of food to give to children while planning such a heinous act? And against a girl who was only 3 or 4 years old at most?"
"Ah, got it. Any proof on those other men who died after?"
"Dunno. But..."
"?"
"Village chief might know something."
Good intel.
'Gonna sweet-talk another fake?'
[Personally, I don't recommend it.]
'Why?'
[Someone digging into the village will draw suspicion. Could even cut you off from Viola.]
'True...'
TL;DR: The Hero's a psycho bastard.
Today, I hung around Viola's house, chatting with the women.
One change for me:
"What's my future like!?"
"Says you'll meet a great match outside the village soon."
"Hohoho, nothing inside?"
"Hahaha, if there's a handsome guy here, maybe—but probably not me."
"What? Suho's plenty handsome... Wanna hang later...?"
"Move it? Line's waiting."
"Ugh..."
A queue of real women.
Yesterday, zero favor with them.
But after starting physical relations with Viola (just the beginning), things shifted big time.
My view of women changed.
'Damn, looking close-up, they're all pretty decent...'
[Glad the negatives vanished for future requests.]
'Still wouldn't go through hell for these girls...'
I, who only yelled for eroge and 2D, now enjoyed real women.
But...
"Huuuh. Finally my turn. But... w-when are we having drinks?"
"Hahaha... Soon."
She-Hulk was still She-Hulk.
'Is her palm seriously as big as my face... If she wrapped her hand around my face and squeezed, would I be crushed like soft tofu?'
[I don't think it would be that extreme. Not tofu, but perhaps you'd be crushed like a tangerine.]
'...'
Scary as hell imagining it...
Old lady said she's decent enough to chat occasionally.
Her parting words stuck:
-Just get married, you two are a perfect match.
-...
'I'll avenge that insult...'
[Worried, though.]
'About?'
[Last time, you piqued her interest under the guise of reading Viola's palm, but now you've decided to act like lovers. She might feel disappointed.]
'No way... She shouldn't feel disappointed, she should be jealous. I'm not going through all this trouble just to make her feel disappointed.'
[Isn't that a side effect?]
'See tonight. Heh heh.'
Evening came, and Viola arrived as expected.
We sat in the bushes, hands clasped, gazing quietly at the moon.
But Viola's expression differed from yesterday.
Avoiding my eyes, she spoke.
"...You read their palms today too?"
"Yeah. Want me to read yours too, Viola?"
"N-No! ......"
Her pout was obvious.
And in her status window, a new trait appeared.